One Normal Evening
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmSinger SUMMARY: Harm had expected just a normal evening of stress relief, a few drinks and just hanging out in his favorite bar. And it would've been a normal evening. Was his name not Harmon Rabb, Jr...
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: One Normal Evening

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Singer

TIMELINE: Season 8 (yup, I'm there again)

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, here it finally is, people, after writing it for two months and announcing it for over a week. This is without a doubt, hands down, the longest fic I've ever written.

A LOT of time, love, efforts, typing, sore eyes and even sorer fingers, sacrifices, hours that could've been spent out in the wonderful summer weather and dedication has gone into this fic, so please don't spare with reviews. I'm not looking for praise, god no, just 'I'm reading this' or definitely constructive ideas are appreciated. But please, review, and thus don't make me feel as I've spent all this time in vain, threw it away, on something no-one reads or even appreciates.

It's also a completely new style of writing for me, with the plot bearing the standard at first, but then just brief flashes of life. You'll see what I mean later on.

This is my own Iliad, I hope you'll enjoy it.

P.S.: Mac does NOT turn into a witch in this one and there is no Mac bashing.

SUMMARY: Harm had expected just a normal evening of stress relief, a few drinks, some harmless flirting that would go nowhere and just hanging out in his favorite bar. And it would've been a normal evening. Was his name not Harmon Rabb, Jr...

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Harm had expected just a normal evening of stress relief, a few drinks, some harmless flirting that would go nowhere and just hanging out in his favorite bar.

And it would've been a normal evening.

Was his name not Harmon Rabb, Jr...

However his name WAS Harmon Rabb, Jr. so weird followed him everywhere, dogged his every step, like a lost puppy. Or a groupie. Or a stalker. But aren't they all the same in the end?

The point is, his life was weird.

Anyway, trouble started a few seconds after he'd entered the establishment.

Suddenly a blond whirlwind jumped into his arms and kissed him affectionately, though swiftly, on his cheek.

Harm dazedly looked at LT Loren Singer who's desperate face filled his sight and who's full red lips had just branded his cheek.

Looking at her beautiful face and gorgeous body he had to ask himself why is such a big percentage of those really hot and beautiful women either mean or shallow or both. 'Not all of them and not most of them, but quite a few and even that percentage is too big already, no matter how small or big it is.' he ammended to himself.

Loren was one of the most attractive women he knew and, with a few exceptions in her behaviour that made him question if it wasn't all just a mask hiding a completely different person, one of the meanest.

She also wasn't the only woman he'd ever known that was extremely beautiful and mean at the same time. And now that she was pregnant she'd gotten even more beautiful, pregnancy giving her that much-talked-about pregnancy glow.

He couldn't stop the question forming in his mind whether Mac would look that good while pregnant?

His contemplation of his partner's assets was dispersed by the desperate grip one LT Loren Singer had on him.

"Please help me!" she whispered urgently, staring desperately into his eyes.

That sobered him up immediately and, never one to deny a woman's plea for help, especially not that of a pregnant woman, he collected himself and nodded.

He never agreed with people who accused him of having a hero's complex or a Peter Pan complex. Those people just didn't know him and because of that they made such inaccurate accusations. He was just a man who was compassionate and had the possibility, skill and a good enough heart to help. Nothing more.

This time Loren hugged him harder and whispered into his ear, while Harm tried to pretend it was an everyday thing to be affectionately hugging his pregnant co-worker in a bar, where the JAG staff liked to go.

"Pretend like I'm your girlfriend and that you're happy to see me. Please! There's a guy here that doesn't know how to take 'no' for an answer and I've been getting strange and dangerous vibes from him."

Harm closed his eyes and tried to relax, forcing a calm and serene expression on his features. Loren had proved herself time and again an amazing investigator and an accurate judge of character and if she was getting vibes, that had her so worried, from the guy, then there was certainly something wrong with him.

They hugged for a few more seconds, then let go of each other, taking each other's hands and intervowing their fingers, and headed for a small table at the back, looking to other people like any other couple in love.

Didn't I mention that his life was weird?

Harm surreptiously scanned the Friday night crowd for any suspicious characters and quickly found one.

One guy was sitting at the bar, looking at them with a strange expression on his face. Harm definitely didn't like the look on the guy's face, nor the vibe he was getting from him, and it made him even more determined to play along.

He maneuvered them so that he blocked the guy's sight of Loren, while keeping him in his peripheral vision.

"Is that him by the bar? Brown hair, somewhat short, a weird look on his face?" he asked Loren quietly.

He could feel her shudder at the description of the weirdo and it increased his concern tenfold.

Loren Singer was one of the strongest women he knew and it was practically impossible to shake her. The fact that this guy terrified her so much that she'd sought out Harm's help and at Harm's simple description of the man shivered, not even being able to hide it from Harm, had Harm worried tremendously.

"He came on to me when I was sitting at the bar..." she launched into her tale and Harm leaned in to listen carefully.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all who took the time and reviewed!**

**Les**: I actually don't think of it as a cliffy since that scene isn't continued here, but it's a completely new scene, from a different timeline, from a different point of view. As you'll see this is where Loren tells him what happened before he came in and why she did what she did. The next part will go back to present time. So, not a cliffy also.

**baller23jk5**: we'll see...

**Cherish26:** Welcome, I hope the rest of this (really long) fic will justify your trust. Loren's actions will be explained in this chappy and I really hope they make sense to everyone else, cause they make sense to me. Check your mailbox for a more detailed answer.

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15 MINUTES EARLIER

Loren was disturbed from her silent contemplation of a small puddle of water on the wooden surface of the bar before her when someone sat down on the seat next to her.

She instinctively looked that way, seeing a man about 5-8 years younger, smiling at her.

'Oh no.' she groaned mentally and her apprehension was realized when the guy smiled at her.

"Hi."

Loren looked steadily at him, not smiling, moments shy from scowling, but said nothing. She wouldn't do anything to encourage him. Then she turned back to her water puddle and ignored him.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

She sighed and resigned herself to the fact that the guy obviously wasn't picking up her leave-me-the-hell-alone signals. When the hell had she lost her sharpness, her edge, her Ice Queen mask? She looked down. Oh yeah, that's when...

"I'm pregnant." she stated curtly. Ever since she'd gotten pregnant she'd mellowed a little. Probably hormones, or possibly her maternal instinct awakening. Or it could've been that nobody took her glare seriously anymore now that she was slowly losing her sharp features, her body filling out and carrying a baby. It wasn't so obvious in her uniform (she still regularly scared Ensigns and various enlisted personnel), but in her off-duty clothes it was impossible to hide her growing belly and disappearing waistline.

"I don't see a ring on your finger."

'Is this guy for real?'

"The lack of ring doesn't mean that there is no father to this baby nor that I'm not waiting for him." The last was a little white lie, but the jerk needn't know that.

"Uh huh." he obviously didn't believe her. "Can I still buy you a drink?"

This time Loren shot him a venomous glare, the one that had those green Ensigns (and even some higher ranking officers) and enlisted peeing in their pants.. "No. First off, I'm in a relationship and second, I'm pregnant. That means, no alcohol, no drinks, no guys and no you. At all."

Which meant no drink at all from him and she decided not to touch her own glass anymore. He could've slipped her a date rape drug while she'd been looking elsewhere. She was getting a strange vibe from the guy and was feeling a lot apprehensive. She also didn't think it was safe to leave the bar at this time, it was already dark outside and the parking lot wasn't that well lit. With the vibes she was getting from him she wasn't taking any chances. For the first time in a long while she was starting to get afraid.

She was a petite and physically attractive woman, a prime target for rapists, murderers and other sickos out there. What was worse, she was also pregnant.

Not only did that make her doubly afraid for her safety, because of her baby, but it also made her more vulnerable.

Her belly reduced her agility, mobility and stamina, along with being a major Achille's heel. It encumbered her and she knew she couldn't fight effectively with it in the way. Also, a well placed hit into her swollen belly would take her out of the fight immediately and effectively, besides to killing her unborn child, leaving her at the sicko's mercy (or more probably, lack of it). The baby hadn't been conceived in the perfect way, nor had she wanted it at the start, but now that she had it she wasn't giving it away.

It was the only family she had.

This made her determined to avoid a physical altercation as much as it was possible. She had too much to lose.

For a moment the guy's smile slipped and what she saw then truly frightened her. There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes, hate and malice evident and that was when she knew she was in real trouble.

Loren looked around quickly, noticing that the bar was packed, with nowhere else to sit and she hoped desperately that someone from the JAG staff would come soon so she could join them. Safety was in numbers.

She turned her back on the guy and tried to ignore him and his attempts at conversation, fully aware of his eyes staring holes into her head.

She was having a really bad feeling about this guy and if not one of her co-workers would get there by the closing time she was resolved to call the local Military Police office and request a car and armed escort, damn her pride and no matter what it would do to her reputation.

Better to be gossiped about and made fun of than to go through the horrible ordeal of rape and it's aftermath or even be killed or otherwise tortured.

This constant danger in the big cities was the only reason she regretted leaving her little backwater town all those years ago. It counted only a few hundred people and had virtually no crime rate (expect for kids occasionally breaking something) and definitely no rape or murder statistics.

While she otherwise didn't regret her decision to leave for the Navy, this was the one advantage that that small podunk town had.

MPs taking her home are great at preventing some weirdoes from getting to her, but the best thing here would be a large, strong boyfriend/father of her baby. Unfortunately the father of her baby was not in her life anymore.

And then he came in.

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Her salvation.

6 feet, four inches and 210 lbs of muscle.

Her Knight in shining... T-shirt?

Nevermind that. It was what he could do for her not how he looked.

Of course he looked delicious, something that Loren's hormones (she WAS in her second trimester after all) happily noticed, but that wasn't important.

Much.

Hell, who was she kidding. She was barely keeping herself from going over to him, grabbing him and dragging him into a backroom where she'd ravage him senseless.

While she'd never had any kind of deeper feelings for the man she had always, from the first second she'd met him, found him incredibly attractive (as did any other woman) and he definitely invoked those primal, lusty feelings in her.

She'd been a healthy, adult woman after all and such a prime specimen of the male of the species awakened the primal instinct that directed females to choose the alpha male to give them the strongest offspring. Okay, so the only thing most of modern women, who gave in to this impulse, wanted was just sex with such a man and definitely not a pregnancy, thus most of them took precautions to prevent that from happening, but still...

Nonetheless, the desire to mate with the alpha male is still in every female.

But sexual desire and love are two different things, so some women choose their mate out of this desire and some women choose their mate out of love. And unfortunately some give in to this instinct even though they are already in a relationship with another man.

And now... Now Loren was a healthy, adult woman who had a massive amount of hormones raging through her, thanks to her little hitch-hiker, wasn't in a relationship, and such a good-looking guy definitely captured her attention.

As well as the attention of every other woman in the bar...

Well, in regards to relationships, that good-looking stuff she could stuff somewhere where the sun doesn't shine, it meant so little to her by now. Good-looking men... been there, done that, got burnt.

Now the only guys that she still valued were the dependable, loyal, faithful, responsible, intelligent, kind, good, decent ones.

Which was exactly what she needed right now and was exactly what Harmon Rabb, Jr. was. It was just a coincidence that he was good looking and a testament to his character and personality that he never became corrupted because of it, unlike so many other good looking men.

But that was just a plus. A plus that she knew would get her a lot of envy from other women in the bar if this Prince Charming played along.

Which he did.

Which it did.

Anyway, what was important was that he was a good man through and through, would help her if she asked him for help, and was big, muscular and could intimidate even Special Forces guys if he wanted to.

Loren had never been a woman to let an opportunity pass her by and she didn't break her modus operandi now.

She vaulted off her seat and ran (or moved as quickly as her pregnant-self could) towards Harm, jumped into his arms and greeted him like her lover and the father of her baby.

Minus a make-out scene, of course, because it would not only be awkward and make Harm think she'd gone crazy, but it would also look forced and ungenuine. Thankfully Harm had always been quick and caught on immediately, playing the part of her boyfriend and father of her baby perfectly.

Even though it was pretty awkward for him he was still holding her closely and tenderly stroking her baby mound as a true man in love and happy expectant father would've.

Harm needed to know what had happened, why she'd greeted him like that, but Loren also decided that he didn't need to know just what thoughts had gone through her head when she'd spotted him just minutes before, so she told him.

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	3. Chapter 3

Thanks so much for the reviews guys, keep them coming!

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PRESENT TIME

"So, he was really starting to creep me out, I didn't want to leave the bar by myself, it's night outside and if he really is a sicko, which I'm sure he is, nobody would notice him doing anything in that dark parking lot. It's not easy for me to admit this, but I was scared, for the baby and for myself and because of the baby I can't defend myself well anymore. I can't risk losing her, not for any stupid pride. If keeping her and me safe means begging you to help me, then I'll do it. Which is why when you came in I took the opportunity. I'm sorry I used you in such a way, without a warning or permission, but I was desperate."

"It's okay." he gently squeezed her hand, trying to impart reassurance with mere touch alone. "You know, I'll gladly help any way I can. I'm glad you decided to wait instead of risk going out. I have to admit that I received some strange vibes myself when I looked at him. He definitely is sending up red flags to me."

Loren was touched by his sentiment and his tender touch and didn't know how to react, so she said nothing. Harm seemed to understand as he didn't mention it.

"We should stay here a while, to keep up the pretense of a date, then leave. We'll take my car, I know how to get rid of a tail if he'll follow us, and we'll come back for yours tomorrow. What do you say?"

Loren agreed after only a little thought.

They conversed lively for about half an hour before Loren suddenly hissed in surprise. Harm turned worried eyes on her to ask what was wrong when she grabbed his hand and jerked on it, until his open palm rested on her swollen belly.

She may have not been far along, but because of her slim and petite figure she was showing slightly already. Her uniform hid it at work, but this dress didn't.

Harm was about to ask why she'd done it when his eyes widened and immediately locked with her teary ones.

"Is that..." he whispered and she nodded, sniffling, overwhelmed by emotions.

"Wow." Harm mouthed a little overwhelmed himself.

"This is the first time she's kicked. Before I only felt fluttering, but never a real kick." she explained emotionally.

"She?" Harm questioned.

"Maternal instinct." Loren stated with a tone that brooked no disagreements and Harm just nodded, knowing better than to argue with a pregnant woman. They were pretty emotional after all and he didn't want to carry a reminder of his mistake around for the rest of his life, like Chegwidden did. Still, the thought of Loren and 'maternal instinct' being connected was something new.

Loren studied his awed expression curiously, until she realized the reason for the wonder on his face. "You've never felt an unborn baby move and kick before?"

He shook his head.

"Never?" she repeated surprised.

"No." he didn't hold her shock against her.

"How come?"

"I was never close to any pregnant woman I knew."

"What about LT Sims-Roberts?"

Harm shot her a look. "First of all, she's married. And believe it or not, but Bud is a pretty jealous man, it's not that obvious, but trust me, he is. He almost attacked Tiner when he said something about pregnant women being sexy."

Loren giggled at that news and Harm's eyes widened anew at the sound. He'd never heard her giggle or laugh before and it was a new sound. He was also surprised to realize that it was a beautiful sound, one that he wanted to hear more, one that he wanted to bring out of her.

He felt another jab against his hand and started caressing her belly unconsciously, trying to soothe the baby and causing her eyes to snap up to his, from where they were studying his hand, and bite her lip.

As he was feeling the movement beneath his hand Harm briefly wondered what it really looks like, without the clothes in the way, the bare stretched-taut skin bulging as a miniature limb collides with it and a depthless amount of sadness welled up within him at the thought that he'd never see a child of his own do something like this. The way it was looking he'd never get married and never have children of his own, destined to always be looking at happy families from the outside, from a distance, from a lonely existence.

His thoughts were completely asexual, but when Loren caught his eyes she must've interpreted something wrong because her eyes widened and she accused with an embarrassed grin. "Harmon Rabb Jr.! You per..."

Harm cut her off before she'd say something she'd regret and which would bring unwanted attention to them. "No! No. That's not what I thought. Nothing sex related. I just wondered what the hits look like on the outside."

Loren's gaze softened. "You really haven't seen it yet, have you? Never seen a naked pregnant belly from up close and personal, without clothes in the way." she spoke softly. She didn't know why it seemed so important, nor why she had the urge to be the first one to let him see. She immediately shook that thought from her head, because it was right there on the top of the Inappropriate List.

"No. It also doesn't seem I'll ever have the chance to either." he replied bitterly, quietly.

Somehow Loren knew that he was talking about his catastrophic love life.

Loren's wasn't any better, but she'd still achieved something that Harm hadn't, nor was he convinced he would ever have: a child, a family of his own. Harm had also inadvertantly told her everything there was to know about the state of his relationship with LtCol Sarah MacKenzie.

Harm obviously believed that there was no future for him and Mac and had obviously given up.

And for the first time in her life Loren felt compassion for one Harmon Rabb, Jr..

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	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews!

Okay, the next part's a LOT longer...

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There was one other thing Loren knew about Harm, because of which she felt compassion for him, since he'd obviously given up on ever having his own family.

For men like Harm the final and the most desirable progression of a relationship is marriage and family and she felt a swift feeling of regret that it wasn't Harm that was the father of her baby.

Were he, then everything would've been different, better. Much better.

She wouldn't have to battle her fear on her own every second of every day, no, she would have a rock with her 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year (and a day more every four years). She wouldn't have to fight her fears of inadequacy and failure at being a mother on her own, with no-one to talk to and no-one to comfort her; because she knew he'd be there through it all with her, holding her hand, supporting her, comforting her and letting her know everything would be okay and that she would be the best mother in the world, the mother that any child would want.

True, men aren't necessary for a successful completion of pregnancy (but they are necessary for the pregnancy to happen in the first place), but it's the good guys like Harm that make the whole thing worth it, that make it so much easier. Besides, isn't life fuller when you share it with a partner?

Sure, having kids can be great, but life is somewhat incomplete if you have only them. The lack of romantic love in one's life can be quite painful and deeply-felt, it's a lonely existence, even with family around; and it gets even lonelier when your kids grow up and move out and you're not also lonely, but de facto alone.

This is when the advantages of having a life partner, a spouse, be it wife or husband, become crystal clear, more than ever before, even more than when the kids were still small and a handful at just taking care of them and raising them.

Loren knew that if she had the choice between having a good man, who would help her every step of the way 'till death did them part, even if it meant she'd lose her independence with marriage and family; and being a single parent just to keep her independence, no matter how unreal it is, because as soon as you have a child or are in a relationship you are no longer independent because you have to consider how every decision of yours will affect your child and/or your partner; she would rather choose the good man and no independence.

For the first time in her adult life she felt true compassion for someone, for this wonderful man, who wanted children so much, who was so good with them and who was smiling with such wonderment while feeling the baby moving inside of her, trying to predict the location of the next kick and completely forgetting the fact that he was taking quite a liberty with Loren's body, that any other man would've already met her fist for doing this in such an intimate and daring manner, the man who had already resigned himself to never getting his dearest wish, to have a family of his own, had resigned himself to the fate of growing old alone and lonely.

She barely managed to hold back her tears as she watched him tenderly caress her pregnancy swollen belly with a look of such longing and devastation in his beautiful aquamarine eyes (she blamed the hormones for being so emotional).

He was finding such delight in just feeling the movements of _another man'_s baby and an irrational thought occured to Loren.

Why not let this man who wanted a family so much, but had given up on ever having it, become part of her own incomplete family, thus completing it and completing his own life? Mommy, baby... and Daddy.

It would give everyone what they wanted and what they needed: Harm would get the family that he so desired, her child would get the best Dad possible and she would get her rock, her support and a life-partner that would stand by her through everything life would throw at her... at them.

Wasn't this the best arrangement possible for all three of them? Would not all only benefit from it?

But that idea was immediately discarded and locked away, though not forever, it would come back occasionally in the days to come to torment her with the ghost of what could be, of an image of a damn-near-perfect life.

They were not in love, so would it be right to entrap him into a marriage with a woman he didn't love? She knew how he felt about family, he would've wanted the security of marriage and he would've wanted for the child to be legitimate, meaning they would get married before she'd give birth.

He would've probably even wanted to be listed as the father on the birth certificate if they'd get together. Not in an effort to claim what he didn't create, but to make it easier on Loren, to let people think she never had one night stands and that the father of the baby didn't run away, and on the baby, so it would never have questions about it's own identity.

But she was still Loren Singer, the scourge of JAG, and men like Harmon Rabb did not fall in love with her, nor did they want to marry her and raise a family with her.

She just had to face the fact that she would end up raising the baby alone, living with her insecurities, while Harm would find a good woman, fall in love and have a family with her.

She knew that Harm was just too good a man to end up alone and she felt a short pang at the thought that she would not be the one to give it all to him.

She wasn't in love with him, but she knew that the day Harmon Rabb would get married would be the day that she would lose a chance, no matter how small it was, of getting a wonderful husband and father to her child.

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Reviews would be really nice even though this was such a short one.


	5. Chapter 5

You mean to tell me I didn't update? Crap. It's the years, I tell 'ya!

This fic is progressing nicely, it's at 235 kb and growing. And I'm backuping it every hour to make sure history doesn't repeat itself - like when I lost a completely finished HarmMeg fic that was about 50kb long.

Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming.

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She briefly put her hand on his and smiled gently at him. "You never know. It's gonna happen and sooner than you think."

He looked curiously into her eyes, confused by her statement and the conviction in her voice, searching for a hidden meaning behind her words, but finding only a sincere wish.

Looked like Loren Singer had matured and mellowed. Amazing what getting pregnant can do to a person. He knew at least one other woman who could use getting pregnant if it would have the same effect on her.

'Too bad Loren didn't get pregnant sooner.' he thought and immediately chastised himself for the uncharitable thought.

The pregnancy, while having some positive consequences, HAD turned Loren's life upside down, would probably stall her career for a while and lower her chances at becoming the JAG. Even if it wouldn't stall her career it would put a strain on it and on her, being a single mother with such a demanding, stressful and time-consuming job.

Being a parent must be hard enough, but being a single parent with such a career as a JAG lawyer, who constantly travels on investigations, who's work hours don't end at 1700, and who has to then take care of a child and dedicate time, attention and love to that child must be that much harder.

Soon she would be put before a choice: who or what would she put first: her career or her own child, because with this job she would only have the time and the energy for one. Either she would put her career first and her own child would suffer, which is sadly something that isn't so rare now anymore when so many professional and ambitious women put their careers first; or she would put her child first and her career would suffer, even perhaps to the point where she would have to leave the Navy and find job in a private practice that would have better hours and be better for her child, her only family.

While her professional life would suffer, her personal had already and would suffer even more hits and undergo even more changes, not all of them being good. Heck, even though she looked radiant she didn't look like she was comfortable in her own body, with it changing all the time, so this pregnancy wasn't all that good.

What Harm didn't know was that she wasn't enjoying, nor liking neither her pregnancy, nor the changes it had brought mainly because of her insecurities and because she was alone and lonely and with such a disposition facing the biggest and most permanent life-altering experience.

But no matter what the reasons were, Loren HAD matured and mellowed and become nicer and he had to admit to himself that he was starting to like her and thus wished she'd find happiness for herself.

"Thank you, I hope you're right." he whispered.

Loren smirked. "I'm ALWAYS right." She declared and he grinned, turning to talk to her stomach. "Hear that, baby? Your mother's ALWAYS right."

"You probably won't believe me," he then continued with a serious tone. "but I do hope you will find happiness. Just look for it very carefully, sometimes it hides in the strangest places."

They both fell silent suddenly, Harm dropping his hand that he'd just realized had been caressing Loren's soft cheek, when they heard what he'd said. The words sounded so prophetic that they became immediately serious. They had no idea just how prophetic they were.

"So, my little butterfly." Harm drawled, grinning, trying to ease the solemn situation and make them forget about the freak for just a while. "And baby butterfly... or does that make you a caterpillar?..." Harm joked and let out a breath of air as Loren's elbow met his gut.

They were still fully aware of the weirdo and were both playing their audience, trying to be persuasive, so they were working hard on hiding the discomfort and uneasiness that their flirtatious interaction caused in them.

They were also speaking loudly enough to be heard, but not loud enough to draw unwanted attention from other patrons.

He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, while the other hand rested on her belly, and she leaned towards him, creating the illusion of an intimate atmosphere between them.

Whispering to each other, so as not to be overheard and to look like they were exchanging sweet nothings, they conferred.

"He still looking?"

Harm checked out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, but I can't read his face. He doesn't look exactly happy, but I'm not sure he's buying it completely."

She frowned slightly. "When do you think we can get out of here?"

"You told him you were waiting for the father of your baby, right?"

She nodded.

"I think we can go as soon as we finish our drinks. We'll just pretend that we're on a timetable and are to meet with our friends. I think that's the only way we can pull off getting out of here so early."

"Yeah." she agreed, tucking her head under his chin so they could converse better. "If we would've stayed her longer we would've come here together and with friends, I wouldn't be waiting here for you. Us going to dinner just by ourselves is out too since no-one meets at one bar first just to go to another restaurant to have dinner there."

"Okay, as soon as we're out the door, make sure you're walking in front of me. He'll have to go through me first to get to you and if he does something you'll have time to call the cops. We'll take my car, because it's bigger and heavier and if he tries to run us off the road or something, he won't have a chance. Besides, I know it better and will be able to handle it better, and will be able to get him off my tail easier. Now let's get to it, pretend as if you suddenly realized that we're late."

He felt her nod against his chest.

She was silent for a few seconds then pretended as if she was checking her watch and nugged Harm with her elbow again. "We have to go if we want to meet the others on time." She said loud enough to be overheard by their watcher.

"Stop abusing me, woman." joked Harm as he got up and signalled the waitress to bring the check.

"Oh, don't be such a baby. It was just a gentle nudge." she returned, smiling.

"Yeah, a little nudge... right. Any lower and this would be the only baby we'd have." he pulled her to her feet and patted her stomach gently.

By the time they got their things together the waitress had arrived and Harm paid, giving the young woman a tip.

Harm helped Loren into her coat, pulling her hair out of the collar and gently embraced her from behind, linking his hands on her stomach.

Loren smiled and leaned back into him, putting her own hands on his. Then he gently caressed the baby bump again, receiving a gentle kick in return. "She seems to really respond to you." Loren mentioned in wonder.

"Yeah." sighed Harm, then gathered himself. "Come on, we have places to be, people to see."

He stepped away from her, wondering over how easy it was to fall into this pretend, and steered her through the crowd with a hand on her lower back.

Once they were out the door Harm turned them towards his car, bypassing her own that was parked on a nearby spot, directly under a streetlight.

When they got near it Harm pressed the remote, unlocking his car's doors. A while ago he had modified the central locking system and now the blinkers no longer came on when the doors got locked or unlocked. Nobody was the wiser whether the car was locked or not and it came quite handy right now. The stalker didn't know which car they were intending to use and he didn't know that Harm had prepared everything for a quick entry.

Harm slowed down, while gently pushing Loren ahead, whispering urgently "Get into the car and lock yourself in."

He gave her a nudge forward and stepped behind her so he was shielding her with his big body, completely covering her from view of anyone walking behind them.

Loren went as fast as she could, got into the front, hit the lock and turned to Harm just in time to see something metallic flash above him from behind.

It was a knife, aimed straight at Harm's neck, descending towards it rapidly.

She screamed.

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	6. Chapter 6

Fixed this chappie according to Cassandra30's advice. Thanks!

Thanks for the reviews, keep them up. And don't forget to review "Their Destiny" when you read it, if you haven't already. I might get inspired by the reviews to write more.**  
**

**qball!!!!** long time no see, man. Nice seeing you're okay.

**Les**: yup, it sure was. Don't you just love it? (eg)

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Harm heard the footsteps quicken and then the hiss of a combat knife leaving it's metal sheath.

He pretended not to have heard it, until the sound of cloth, as an arm was rapidly straightened and raised upwards, reached his ears.

His excellent hearing pinpointed the arm's exact position and distance.

The next tenth of a second Harm whirled around, just as the attacker swung downward, aiming for the crook of Harm's neck. The attacker was too short to go for Harm's throat, which is why he'd decided to try to hit his jugular from the side. Even if he didn't kill Harm immediately, he would've still taken him out of the fight and be free to do with the beautiful blonde whatever he wanted.

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In a move developed by the Russian special forces unit Spetznatz, Harm thrust out his own arm, grabbed the inner side of the attacker's wrist, leaning his own forearm against the flat part the of the blade, raised his elbow and twisted his own forearm, thus bending the attacker's arm into an un-natural position and forcing his hand to open.

The release of the other guy's fingers together with the force of the twist and the force of Harm's forearm pressing against the flat of the blade, made the knife fly out of the attacker's hand and clatter under a nearby car. Normally the defender would, at the point of the knife being released, take possession of it and use it on the attacker, but Harm didn't want to kill the man, he didn't want to go to jail, neither did he want his own finger prints on the weapon.

No, the bastard had a worse fate coming.

Years ago, a dedicated research of Russian prisons revealed that in prisoners' hierarchy rapists are on the lowest food chain among the prisoners and are always being abused and mistreated by other inmates and are the main victims of sexual assault in prisons. Thus, in some twisted way, they are getting back what they doled out, experiencing what they'd done to their innocent, helpless victims. Justice get's served in the end and death for this guy would've been too easy, quick and merciful.

When the knife was out of the picture Harm proceeded with the twisting of the guy's arm until a satisfying snap and a howl of pain were heard.

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A few seconds had passed since the fight had been over and Loren was still gaping from shock of how fast Harm moved and the skill he'd displayed.

She'd never thought Harm was that trained, but then remembered the rumors she'd heard of him having trained with SEALs, Force Recon, Marine Snipers,... and now she understood the full scope of Harm's training and skill. There was obviously much more to the man than his co-workers knew, even Loren, who was always careful to know as much as possible against any possible competition.

When she saw that knife descend towards Harm she'd thought it was all over, this good man would die and it would be all because of her. She would've carried his blood on her hands and his death on her conscience until the day she'd die, if the attacker wouldn't have killed her too.

But in a move as swift as lightening Harm had turned around and intercepted the deadly metal. What had come next had been less than one second worth of blurred movement before she heard the metal cling of the knife being propelled across the tarmac and under some car. In the next second she heard the sound of a bone snapping and hoped that Harm hadn't killed that bastard. Not only didn't the guy deserve something as merciful as a swift death for what he'd done and tried to do, but, something much more important to her, she didn't want Harm going to prison for protecting her.

The howl of pain filled her heart with relief that Harm wouldn't get in trouble, as well as with glee and satisfaction that the guy was in pain. Once she'd managed to shake off her stupor, she grabbed her cell phone and dialled 911.

After she'd gotten off the phone she exited Harm's car and approached them where the attacker was laying on the ground, with Harm holding him down expertly.

"Are you and the baby okay, Loren?" his question startled her, she hadn't even known he'd heard her approach. Even after almost having gotten killed and while holding his attacker to the ground, he was still worried about her and the baby! He was such a good man, what the hell had she done in her life to deserve him caring about her? An emotion, before-unknown, filled her heart up to overflowing.

She let out a shaky breath, one bordering on a sob. The events of the past few hours and the what-ifs were finally catching up to her and she was struggling to keep her emotions and tears in check.

She couldn't fall apart now, Harm needed her to be strong.

"Yeah, I'm okay, _we're_ okay." she choked out.

Harm cocked his head when he heard the catch in her voice, but deep down knew she was being thruthful. She wouldn't be lying about something like that at a time like this.

"I called the police, they are on their way." she said, for lack of anything else to say.

"Good." Harm sighed in relief, shaking his head as the pile of shit in the form of a human person was moaning in pain and screaming obscenities and promises of revenge.

"Loren, please go to the car, open the trunk, there is a packet of zip-ties in the right corner. Take out two longest and tie them together like the cops have them. Then another pair. Then bring them to me so I can handcuff him." she nodded jerkily and happy to be of some use quickly walked to the car and proceeded to follow his request.

He had several reasons to ask her to do this: so he wouldn't have to hold the guy anymore, so she wouldn't be there to hear her would-be-attacker's promises and insults and so she would have some purpose and thus not wallow in what-ifs and would thus also feel needed and of use.

Once she got back Harm held the guy immobile, putting so much pressure on his arms as a silent threat against doing anything that the guy cried out in pain, while she slipped the ties on the man's wrists and zipped them up tightly. Then she stepped back while Harm released him and tightened them a little more to insure there would be no escape and then tied the man's legs as well.

When he was done Harm turned to her and quickly, but thoroughly, checked her over to make sure she was alright and noted her apparent exhaustion. Then, impulsively, he took her into his arms and she melted into his body, the adrenalin and emotions making her more pliant and needy than ever before. She clung to him silently and he just held her for a few moments.

His tone was caring as he said "Loren, better go back to the car, take a seat and put your feet up. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. They're not going to be here immediately and it's been a long day for you. Go and rest, when the cops come you'll need your energy. I'll stay here and watch him so that he won't get away." he urged her gently, caringly.

His other reason to send her away was so that she wouldn't get even more upset because of what their attacker was promising them in retribution. He sent a brief thought to gagging his prisoner, but was unsure how the cops, the D.A., the guy's future lawyer and the court would react to it.

Normally she would've bitten off the head of any guy daring to order her around or tell her what she should do, but thought better of it this time. He was right, the day was catching up to her, the emotional stress of the past hour and the last few minutes particularly, her feet and lower back were hurting, and she was feeling the nearly overwhelming desire to slip into her own bed and sleep for days. A little time out wouldn't hurt.

Tiredly and with regret she broke out of his arms, turned around and walked back towards the Lexus, opening the rear door and climbing onto the bench seat. Then she locked the other door and scooted backwards towards it, so her legs were outstretched and crossed at her delicate ankles, with her back resting on the closed door. It wasn't a comfortable position, but it was the best she could do in a car.

Harm looked through the dark and a brief thought of just how right she looked in his car, in his life, occured to him, but then he shook it away and concentrated on keeping watch of his captive, seriously thinking about gagging the little shit.

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REVIEW!

AN: why the Russian move... okay, I'll admit, I'm familiar with it, but since Special Forces units are working together and training together lately more and more, with Russian opening up to the West, there _could _be a possibility that Harm would be familiar with it. Unfortunately I'm not familiar with the US hand-to-hand combat as well as I am with the Russian, so please forgive my little cop-out. Thank you and special thanks to Cassandra30 for her help and very informative and helping review.


	7. Chapter 7

Fixed the previous chappy according to Cassandra30's advice, check the new AN.

Thanks for the reviews, guys, keep them coming.

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The sound of the approaching sirens woke her up 10 minutes later and she struggled to get out of the car.

Harm had in the meantime located the knife their attacker had wanted to use and, using a handkerchief, had secured it.

The whole matter with the cops took about half an hour in the parking lot of the bar, drawing a lot of on-lookers, and another hour at the station, giving and signing their statements and contact information.

Since it was self-defence, coupled with the defence of the life and health of his girlfriend and their baby, his breaking of the guy's arm was quickly dismissed, with several officers impressed with his restraint as they would've surely killed the guy had he tried to do it with them and their women. Harm and Loren were still going with the girlfriend/boyfriend/parents story as it was easier than trying to explain their complicated relationship to the cops. Hell, after tonight they didn't even understand it themselves, how could they even try to explain it to others?

The profiler that had been quickly called told them that they were most probably the suspect's first victims and it was definitely looking like the guy had intended to become a serial rapist-murderer. He'd been caught just in time, before he could even make his first victim. For once would the system do the right thing and throw the entire book at the guy, to prevent him from coming out too soon and fulfilling his plans.

Upon hearing that, Loren silently thanked the powers that be once again that Harm had walked into that bar that evening.

Had he not, it could've gone a whole other way.

Much worse, with people dead or hurt.

If she could've arranged MPs to pick her up, then the guy would've chosen another victim and traumatised and even killed some other poor woman. Or wom_e_n. Had it not been Harm that had escorted her outside, but someone else, with none of Harm's training, he would've probably been dead now and she raped and killed, along with her unborn child, also. She hoped that the guy would either himself experience rape while in prison, curing him of doing it to others, or would get killed in there. Only that way would women be safe from him.

They'd driven to the station with Harm's car, Loren being too exhausted to drive safely, and when they were free to go he made the executive decision to leave her car in the bar's parking lot and drive her home, via his apartment to pick up a few necessities.

At first she glared at him for taking control of the situation and claiming that she was too tired to drive, but she was truly too tired and drained to make a good show of it. The effect of her glare was then spoiled even more when a huge yawn almost dislocated her jaw.

Then she argued that she was fine and didn't need anybody babysitting her, which Harm over-rulled. "It's not just about you, it's also a selfish gesture. I need to be sure that you two are alright and I myself need to be with someone. If I'm being honest I have to admit that this whole thing has shaken me up too. It's one thing to be attacked while on a mission somewhere, that's my job and I'm prepared, I'm in the zone, but a completely different to be attacked randomly in my own city. We were all almost killed tonight and I need human company now, your company to know we're all still alive."

Loren's eyes softened then and she relented. That was a pretty convincing argument that he'd presented her with, because after a short consideration she realized that he was right. If she was so rattled by the whole experience, why wouldn't Harm be? He was right. It was different on the mission, he was prepared for it and it was in a foreign country. Besides, then he wasn't taking care of a woman and her unborn child.

And that was the crux of the matter. He'd been guarding someone close to him, a friend, who was pregnant and during the hour before the incident he'd spent every second bonding with her and her child. It was only natural that he'd thus come to care for her and her baby, after having bonded with both, and, because of that the attack and the reality of what danger she and the baby had been in, he would've been affected too. It's always worse, much much worse, if someone we care about, especially someone as helpless as an unborn baby, is in danger than if only ourselves are in danger. Even with his training and decades of combat experience and life-and-death situations he was still a human, a very decent, honest and good man, and the reality of what could've happened would've definitely had an effect on him too.

Besides, if she was completely honest with herself, she too didn't like the thought of being alone right now, she wanted and needed someone close nearby, a person she knew, to hold her if she'd somehow manage to completely drop her walls and the aftermath of the attack would hit her. While independence, self-reliancy and being single are all good and well; there are times when it can also be a curse, like the times when we need someone to just hold us and reassure us that it's okay or that it'll be okay and instead we are all alone and have to get through solely by ourselves, which would be much easier and quicker to accomplish if we had someone.

And now Loren realized it was the time to drop her walls and the pretense and let someone get close, if only to reassure her that she was still alive, to make her feel safe.

They detoured to his place so he could grab a change of clothes for one night and his toiletries.

While Harm was rooting through his bahtroom cabinet Loren wandered into his bedroom. She was tired and her feet hurt so she decided to sit until Harm was done.

She sat down on his big bed and immediately her eyes started closing from exhaustion. Too tired to fight it and to care where she was and how it would look, she lay on her side until she was stretched out on his bed, with her legs off the edge of it. She felt safe doing that because she knew Harm would never hurt her, nor take advantage of her nor use it against her anytime in the future.

By the time Harm came out of his bathroom Loren was already fast asleep and he smiled gently at the vision of her sleeping peacefully on his bed.

Asleep, without her sometimes-bitchy demeanor and sharp tongue, with her features softened and a small smile on her lips, she was actually quite a beautiful woman.

Her long blond hair was fanned out across the pillow like a halo, her otherwise sharp body- and face- features had been softened even further by her pregnancy, her cheeks a healthy rosy color, lips darker red, hair fuller, shining brightly like spun gold, luxuriously thick; in that dress she was wearing he couldn't have helped but notice already in the bar that her breasts were fuller, larger, from what he remembered from that very eventful Chrismas 2001 party at the Roberts because that very amazing red satin dress sure as hell hadn't left much to the imagination and she'd drawn masculine glances of approval throughout the evening, even from Bud. Of course, when he was sure Harriet wasn't looking. Even in her sleep was her hand on her small swelling belly protectively, as if defending the life inside from any threat.

Until now he had never been really aware of just how beautiful a woman she actually was, because he'd pined away for the unattainable for the past few years and hadn't noticed other women, especially not what was right before his eyes.

While pregnant women had never been attractive to him, he wasn't Tiner who had a thing for them after all, mostly because pregnancy meant that they were taken which made them pretty much asexual beings in his eyes and partly because they'd lost their figures and just kept getting bigger, which was because it wasn't his child that was making them big, otherwise he would've thought and felt the opposite, but this time he had to admit that he was looking at a truly enhanting being.

Perhaps he was now seeing her in a different way because she'd let her guard down for him, let him see and know that she needed him, however temporarily, or because they'd acted as if they were involved and he the father of her baby for the entire evening, or because she was sleeping on his bed which was something that indicated a romantic relationship by itself, or because he knew she was single.

Not that he would ever do anything about it. Not without having moved on from Mac and especially not without some pretty clear signals from Loren that she'd welcome his advances. Not that that would ever happen...

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	8. Chapter 8

As with The Promise forgot to proof read so I took it down until it could be done.

Thanks for the reviews and keep em coming.

**qball (and qball only):** oh, man, I sooo agree on everything with you, especially about S1 being the best one. It really seems now that it would've been best had they broken H&M up then, transferred Mac and introduced someone new or brought Meg back (still my fav choice). But unfortunately DPB would've rather killed the show outright than stopped yanking HM fans' chains, which is what he loved doing and what Brumby, Chegwidden, Renee, Jordan,...all those others and all those fights were. I agree that the show was hurt by H&M's constantly-fluctuating and explosive relationship, but to me the worst seasons were: 9th, 5th, 6th and 10th in that order. Too bad, it was once a great show, but under DPB's and Zito's incompetent leadership and greed for money, ratings and revenge against fans, they completely ruined it, turned it into a damn soap opera instead of a military drama. The fore-warning of jumping the shark to me was when DPB fired Tracey, hired Catherine and when the show turned into a courtroom crap/soap opera out of a military drama thingy. They weren't even bothered to give depth to their characters, give them background, thus explain why they were like that and why they did things like that. Even Mac's past record is so full of holes and unrealistic and illogical (a woman in the woman-hostile military, with fraternization and adultery on her record and a Major at just 28!? Oh, puhleeze. And having started the Corps as a Private and rise up so quickly... did they even consult their Navy consultants? did they completely lose all sense of reality that early on? She was given favoritism and protection from the begining.). And why was Loren the way she was, why didn't they even try to give her a past. Why did they never even TRY to explain what had happened with Meg between S1 and S2, they acted as if she never existed, much less told us where she went in that fictious world. Why was she only a LTJG with her skills, very good rep, time of exposure to the brass and public (even sat first chair on that extremely visible case in Iraq), court stats, education and spotless record, when Mac with her black record and the same age, less in-service time and began as a Private, with no other skill but a lawyer (and not even a developed one, Harm had to train her for the first few years... something Mac fans like to forget), and no rep was 2 RANKS HIGHER!? Yup, definitely unrealistic favoritism and protectionism. I hate it how DPB and the gang treated Meg, like a second rate citizen or a step-daughter and then turned around and showed total favoritism for Mac. I heard that Tracey and DPB had disagreements over this, and it was supposed to have been one of the main factors for her being fired.

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Now on with the show.

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Whether it was the mythical glow of pregnancy that Loren seemed to embody, or just the calming effects of sleep, she truly was a majestic sight to behold, looking like an angel laying on his bed.

And pretty damn uncomfortable one too...

Her head was on the single pillow, her body was twisted in some really weird and new way, with her legs dangling off the bed.

He was sure she would have a stiff spine in the morning, particularly bad with her pregnancy and thus a hitchhiker which meant additional weight and size in that strained and vulnerable spot, besides her whole body aching, and truthfully he didn't particularly want to find out just what a grouchy Loren was like in the morning.

No matter how they'd acted this entire evening, they weren't involved and she wasn't carrying his child; which also meant he didn't really need to experience her at her worst morning-self, much less was obligated to experience it which is what the father of the baby would've been, being the one to have gotten her into that situation.

It was pretty obvious that they wouldn't be going over to her apartment tonight and Harm didn't want to wake her because she apparently had been sleeping quite badly lately and was now resting so peacefully. Even if he didn't wake her so she could walk he was sure the motion of being carried to the car, buckling her up, the sound of the engine and of the traffic, and everything that would include getting her into her own bed; would surely wake her up.

Harm moved closer and slipped the shoes off her feet and gently lifted her legs on the bed, straightening her body out. The reason why he'd taken off her shoes was so that she didn't soil the sheets and because he didn't want her abused feet to hurt in the morning. Upon taking off the shoes he was struck fascinated with how small and delicate her feet and ankles were and knew that they had to be hurting. Had she been his girlfriend/wife he would've given her a footrub, but since she wasn't it was not his place to do that.

He knew that pregnant women suffer from swollen ankles and he was sure that sleeping all night with shoes on would've contributed to some pretty bad pain in the morning and for much of the day. He knew some men, men of bad character, would take off more, if they had a woman dead asleep in their bed, under the pretense of wanting to make her comfortable, but he definitely wasn't like that. He wouldn't even think of touching her clothes and was already hesitant about removing her shoes, but it had to be. She sighed and murmured something in her sleep, making Harm freeze.

When he was sure she was still sleeping he carefully pulled the blanket, that was covering the bed, from under her and gently covered Loren, tucking her in carefully. He made sure she was far enough from the edge of the bed so she wouldn't fall off. As a precaution he moved the bedside table a little forward so it would stop Loren if she'd roll off the bed. It was not her bed after all and she wasn't used to this one, her body didn't know the measurements and the immediate environment.

Whether it was the remaining emotion from the evening, or from seeing her sleeping there, or just because the only women who ever slept in his bed were the women he was involved with, thus had feelings for, but Harm barely stopped himself from pressing a tender kiss on her forehead.

'What the hell is wrong with me? I really have to get myself under control.' he sighed and shook his head.

Then he straightened himself up and glanced at his couch, dread filling his heart.

Just at the thought of spending a night on that short, uncomfortable thing sent a twinge through his spine. He was sure he would be paying for such foolishness for days, were he even able to walk.

And he had no-one to take care of him if he wasn't able to move from the effects of the couch. Even if by some strange inclination she would want to help, Loren just wasn't strong enough to lift him (not to mention that she wasn't supposed to lift heavy stuff due to her pregnancy) if he couldn't get up himself and the only other way would've been to call 911. But that would just create a whole bunch of problems that could've been easily avoided.

He then looked apprehensively at his bed.

It was a huge thing. It had to be, for he was so large.

After his old bed had given up he had had to go a furniture store and eventually had given up, taking a two week leave, going to his grandmother's. Not even specialty stores had a bed that fit his requirements at the time. His mattress had to be imported from Sweden and it would've been two weeks before he'd get it. By that time he would've a bed and would just need to pick up the mattress.

Grandmother Sarah still had the bed his father had used to sleep in and Harm slept in that one while he was making his own bed in the woodshop in the barn.

Harm was no stranger to manual labor and woodworking. Over the years he had built some pieces of Grandmother's furniture himself, along with fixing the wood-paper construction of his plane, fixing his apartment all by himself and making all of the furniture for it by himself. It was no wonder that his apartment had looked like a war zone for so long, with the non-stop investigations he had barely had time to work on it. He would have no problems building his own bed.

On the return trip he was thankful for the first time (and last time) that he'd bought that monstrosity of a car that Mac had conned him into buying, because he was able to tie the parts of the frame to the roof and transport it back home. The next day the furniture store had delivered his new mattress.

And he had truly made a big bed.

Loren was a small woman, even pregnant, and took up a very small part of it, so he was sure they could both fit on it without even coming in contact with each other.

He silently grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt out of a drawer and entered the bathroom, where he took a quick shower, making as little noise as possible. After brushing his teeth he exited the bathroom and went about the apartment checking the door and turning off the lights, leaving only his bedside lamp on, so he wouldn't trip in the darkness.

He got in from the other side of the bed, turning off the light, and stayed there, literally clinging to the edge with his fingernails.

The events of the evening had taken a toll on him too and, contrary to his expectations, he fell asleep within minutes.

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REVIEW!!

**TEASER FOR A FIC I'M WRITING:**

0328 Local  
28 November 1997  
North American Continent

It was the end of November, the light snow had started falling the previous day and the street outside was already covered in a thin blanket of the white menace.

Inside the small, one-bedroom apartment it was chilly, the heating in the old building not able to cope with the dropping temperatures.

The apartment's dweller did not notice it however, the man's large body mass well equipped to handle the low temperature of his home.

The man was sleeping too deeply to take notice when the shelves started to rattle and a low rumbling, not unlike the onle of a locomotive, spread through the building.

Suddenly the whole neighborhood lost power and the street plunged into darkness.

The vibrations increased to the point where the cuttlery and things that were not nailed down started rattling too, as if an earthquake had started.

The dark haired man had just woken up as the apartment was suddenly flooded with a blindingly bright light.

He couldn't move, he was unexplainably paralyzed and inside his mind he started yelling as he suddenly felt himself levitate off the bed and float through the bedroom's door, through the living room and over towards the windows.

He'd always wanted to fly, but this was not the way he'd ever wanted to experience it.

His silent shouts for help went unheard as the window opened silently, allowing him to pass through.

He disappeared in the bright light as the window closed again, locking itself.

The vibrations cut off and everything went still as the bright light disappeared.

Moments later the power came on again and, since everybody was sleeping at this late hour, it had gone unnoticed.

Still, it would be 3 days before anyone would notice the disappearance of a highly decorated officer.

On the floor by the bed a picture frame lay with it's glass broken.

The image on the photo showed a smiling man in a flight suit standing next to an open cockpit of a fighter plane with a young boy sitting in the seat.

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**REVIEW **if you ever want to read this fic, cause otherwise I really don't have any motivation nor reason to bother with writing it.


	9. Chapter 9

Wow, I was truly blown away when the reviews just kept on coming, thank you guys!

I'm glad you liked the teaser, it's a plot I've been toying for over a year or two with and only now starting to write it. Oh yeah, it won't be an X-Files crossover, I'll be using what I know from reading abuction and conspiracy books and from the online sources for this one. Mulder and Scully are just fictional characters on a TV series in this universe.

**Bree:** glad to be of service, but I'm not the one you should be thanking, it's their writers.

**qball**: that's a very good idea you gave me. We'll see what I can come up with.

**camile**: thank you very much. Believe it or not, my own English has improved much by writing fanfic. When I look at my earliest work I get a headache at the errors I made.

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Now, as for this newest chapter, I know it's not very believable, but the damn thing just wrote itself. Btw., does anyone know which hospital is the closest do Rock Creek Park in DC (for civilians). Thanks

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Loren's journey to wakefulness was slow and lazy.

She was warm and comfortable and definitely did not want to leave this warm, lovely nest of half-sleep.

A delicious warmth was all around her, but concentrated behind her from where the heat practically radiated.

There was a scent permeating the soft blanket she was covered with and she buried her face into her pillow, breathing in deeply. Yup, the pillow too. It wasn't a familiar scent, but not an unwelcome one. She didn't know why, but it infused her with the feeling of caring, safety and emotional warmth. Whatever it was, she knew she was safe and cared-for here.

Loren sighed and snuggled deeper into the warmth behind her, stopping when she felt something hard poking into the small of her back.

Confused she rotated her hips against it, making it twitch. Finally the light dawned. It'd been months since she'd last been with a man and more than a decade before that, her entire focus having been on her career, not wanting to waste her energy on men and relationships; much less get captured into an unwanted pregnancy and incidental marriage. Well, part of her plan had failed her, namely the unplanned, unwanted pregnancy thing.

By the time she realized what was poking her it was already too late, had she even wanted to do something against it. While her mind had had a hard time figuring it out, her body had immediately recognized it for what it was and had responded accordingly.

Immediately she became aroused and her hormones took over her body and thoughts processes. The second strongest instinct in every living being, right behind the one for self-preservation, namely procreation, had kicked in all the way, ignoring the fact that she was already pregnant and had done her share in the procreation category, and made her body start nudging her ass into the body behind her.

The thought of a man in her bed strangely didn't upset her, for the scent of a man she'd now vaguely recognized, but could not pinpoint, immediately worked to calm her worries, it let her know that there was no danger, nor anything to worry about. She would not have done this with just anyone, but she had the strong feeling she was emotionally involved with this man. Brief snatches of calling this faceless man her 'boyfriend' and the 'father of her baby', hugging him, smiling at him, cuddling into him and cozying up to him, willingly drowning in his embrace and enjoying it, putting her hand on his where it was caressing her baby bump,... came to her, solidifying her belief. She was not an easy woman, one night stands were not her style and she did not throw herself or rub herself against random men, so this one had to be pretty special.

She still didn't know who her bed companion was, but she knew that she was safe with him, that he hadn't done anything, that he hadn't hurt her and that he would protect her with his life. Her gut instincts were always unerringly accurate and they were never wrong and this time they were telling her that she didn't have to worry, that she didn't have to move, that she didn't have to get out of the bed and or run, or run and call the police.

As she was becoming more awake she became aware of something heavy around her waist, holding her against it's owner behind her possessively. She looked down and saw a big arm, definitely not the one of her last lover, which confirmed her feeling that the body behind her was pretty big as well. Together with that hard something poking her in the back.

Fully in control by her hormones she smiled mischeviously and wriggled against it, eliciting a moan, causing her to grin devilishly at the involuntary jerk of hips against her.

By now her memories had returned, stopping her in mid-motion.

What was she doing in _Harm's_bed? Oh yeah, she'd thought she'd rest a little. She'd obviously fallen asleep immediately. As to what was Harm doing in bed with her... it WAS his bed after all and he had all the right in the world to sleep in it.

The only thing that didn't surprise her was that she was still fully dressed, minus her shoes for which she was thankful, and not under the sheets, but beneath a blanket on top of those sheets. She knew Harm would never hurt a woman, much less take advantage of her. He was a man that would rather take his own life or castrate himself with a spoon than take advantage of a woman and that fact was well known among the female personnel at the base, making him just that more desirable for them and the topic of many sexually-permeated girl talks between them.

There was also no question about the existence of what she'd been rubbing against, she knew all about men's morning issues.

However: what the hell was she doing, rubbing against Harm's arousal?!

The hips behind her retreated from her again, evading her mischevious side, as if Harm's subconscious knew who was teasing him, that it was not a woman he was involved with, that it was Loren, his pregnant co-worker.

By now Loren was driven by the hormones that had awakened and by her little devil on her shoulder that kept whispering into her ear that she should torment Harm just a little if not just turn around in his embrace, wake him up, tear his clothes off and ravage him. Because of Harm's personality and the size of the thing behind her back she knew it would've been a very pleasurable experience and she was holding on to her control by a thread. He HAD saved her life after all, and the life of her unborn child, putting his own in danger in the process and he was due some award. Getting involved with him would not be the worst thing she'd ever done. But Harm retreated at every backward motion of her hips, until she stopped and exhaled in frustration.

Just when she'd settled herself back against him, this time with the only purpose to rest some more while feeling his heat against her back, his arms around her and to be infused with that feeling of security and caring; she heard the change in his breathing, signaling his return to the world of the conscious.

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	10. Chapter 10

Wow, I love your reviews guys, keep them coming!

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She felt his arms tighten around her and draw her tighter against his body. His sleepy mind had recognized the wonderful feeling of holding a woman in his arms and had automatically responded by pulling her tighter against him.

Loren startled when he suddenly buried his face in her lush halo of golden hair and breathed in deeply. He obviously loved the scent of her hair as he just left his face buried in it. It was such an affectionate and tender gesture that Loren almost melted.

She barely held in a squeak when he then changed direction and nuzzled the crook of her neck, affectionately lightly biting the skin and muscle there once, then soothing it with a kiss.

Then his hands moved gently to her belly and answered the baby's greeting with a loving caress.

Suddenly the body behind her stiffened and she guessed he must've realized just who he was holding and greeting in a lovers type of way.

And indeed he had.

As Harm's hands had wondered over the swell of Loren's belly and the baby greeted him with a kick, he realized that something was wrong.

Very wrong.

This wasn't Renee, the last woman who had shared his bed, it had namely been almost two years now. Nor was it any other woman he'd ever been involved with. He also couldn't remember being in such a serious relationship that the woman he was involved with was expecting his baby. He would definitely remember THAT. In fact, the only single pregnant woman he knew was...

Uh oh.

Suddenly memories of last night flooded his mind, bringing with them the knowledge of just who he was holding so tightly in his arms and just who he'd been groping in his half-sleep. The fact that Loren would've definitely stopped him had she not wanted it didn't even cross his mind.

His body stiff as a board from tension, he asked with dread. "Loren?"

She smirked at the quaver and hesitancy in his voice.

"Yes, Harm?" she asked innocently, the smirk obvious in her voice.

As sudden as lightening the heat behind her back disappeared among the rustling of bed sheets.

Stunned she blinked a couple of times, then slowly turned around, hearing a groan of disbelief. She was glad she wasn't too far along, cause that maneuver alone would've taken ages and a lot of effort, if not outright help, otherwise.

Finally she blinked up at Harm's deep crimson face as he stood beside the bed in his T-shirt and sweat pants, shifting on his feet.

His little problem, that had disappeared when he'd realized just who he'd been holding and what his hands had been doing, reappeared viciously at seeing Loren's tousled hair and large blue eyes blinking heavily up at him while laying in his bed, looking unbearably sexy. The memory of her nice, tight behind pressing into his crotch and wiggling about came back with a vengeance and made Little Harm pulse mightily with a new surge of blood. This woman was all just-the-right curves and muscle and the feeling of her in his arms, his hands exploring her body, had been a brief, but unintentional heaven to him. The last woman to have affected him so much was Diane and their few, but passionate and emotionally fulfilling nights together were still a much-cherished memory for him.

He quickly shifted and tugged at his T-shirt in order to hide the evidence, but the small smirk on her lips told him he'd been caught. He didn't have boxers underneath the pants and his 'problem' was showing itself quite prominently and obviously to the world. There was no mistake possible in guessing what that was and he could've sworn he saw Loren's eyes darken with desire as they zeroed-in on the tent in the front of his sweatpants.

His humiliation worsened and he was praying for the ground to open up and swallow him.

But then she surprised him.

"Do you have some tea?"

He blinked back at her, stupefied. What the... She was really giving him an out?

Her eyes revealed no hidden agenda, nor any sort of anger, embarrassment or hate and it flumoxed him. She not only didn't hold it against him, but she was also giving him an out and was acting as if nothing had happened, letting them get back to their previous relationship. Well, as well as they could, given what had happened yesterday evening.

"Uh, yeah. Mint okay?"

"That would be great, thanks." she replied smiling at him.

"Okay, then I'll just get started on it." he backed away, heading towards the opening to the main room, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder.

"Okay." Loren nodded and moved to get up as Harm was leaving.

Harm stopped in his motions and hurried towards her. "You need help?"

She glared at him, not knowing whether to be insulted for him believing that she couldn't even get out of the bed on her own, or insulted that he thought she was that fat or irritated that he thought she was an invalid just because she was pregnant or touched by his concern and wish to help.

In the end she accepted his help, however unnecessary it was, because last night he'd done something no-one else ever would, protected her, almost giving his life for her, and then welcomed her in his home, and hadn't taken advantage of her in her vulnerable state, while she'd been emotional and even after she'd fallen asleep, but had taken care of her and made sure she was comfortable and had a good night's rest.

The fact that every stitch of her clothing she'd had on her last night was still on her had not escaped her.

No matter how refreshing her sleep had been she was now suffering the consequences of falling asleep in her clothes, that still smelled faintly of a bar, feeling the aftermath of sleeping in her clothes, particularly in her bra, so her otherwise-already-tender breasts were now aching. Why did she continue to inflict wearing a bra upon herself with her tender breasts she did not know. Sometimes support wasn't worth the pain.

There was also the gut feeling that her arm pits probably resembled a cess-pit and that she probably had a very bad morning breath.

There was only one thought occupying her mind.

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	11. Chapter 11

I apologize for the late update, but College is busy. With having been tasked in various courses to read specialist books, with the research papers that I have to do, having been inspired to write another HarmMeg fic, and with everything else I just haven't found the time.

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"Can I take a shower?" she asked hopefully, once she was upright.

Harm took a step back when he noticed how close they were standing, courtesy of her slightly distended belly bumping against his thigh.

"Uh, sure. Right through there." he gestured.

"Thanks." she replied and turned around, already unzipping her dress, causing Harm to avert his gaze, lest he see a lot more skin than he should've.

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Loren closed the door behind herself and looked around. Nice bathroom, very clean, but obviously male.

There was namely no bathtub only a shower stall.

And a nice bath would've been exactly what the doctor ordered by now. Not a hot one, because it would hurt the baby, but a warm one in which she could relax.

She sighed, well at least the shower was big. She was a petite woman, but she still liked to have room and not hit on the shower stall's walls with her elbows.

She was just about to fully undress when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

Harm's hand was thrust through the crack of the door, holding something.

"I thought you could use these. They're my smallest boxers, they've shrunk in the laundry. Same goes for the sweat pants and the T-shirt. Don't worry, they're all clean. The shower gel and shampoo are in the shower and a new tootbrush is in the cabinet."

"Uh, thanks." said Loren hesitantly as she slowly reached for the clothes.

"No, problem. Call if you need anything or, if it's already in there, just use it. Just tell me later if it's a consummable, so I'll know to replace it. Uh, while you're in there, can you please start the washing machine? It's already programmed, just close the door and press the button." the door shut closed.

Loren stared at it for a second, then turned around and started the shower.

For a second she hesitated, she would be naked with Harm just on the other side of the wall and the wall didn't even go to the ceiling, just about 8 feet in height. Then she took in a whiff of herself and quickly began undressing. She smelled really ripe. Before she got into the stall she took a second to start the washing machine.

Checking to see that it wasn't too hot, because sudden and drastic body heat changes would harm the baby, she climbed inside.

She took her time to wash off the grime and sweat of the previous day, along with the smell of the bar out of her skin and hair.

Typical man, Harm had no shampoo, and especially not one of the refined and advanced stuff women use, just an AXE shower gel. For a second a silly thought entered her mind whether it was because of the commercials for this particular brand, but then she shook her head. Harm certainly didn't need to use any such things to get attention from females of the species, they'd still come on to him like bear to honey. Besides, from what Loren could remember from her time in his bed, his true scent was enough to intoxicate any compatible woman.

After the grime and sweat were washed she carefully soaped her body, spending an inordinate amount of time on her growing belly, caressing it lovingly and smiling as she felt the life inside kick.

Even after so many months she couldn't get over the fact that there was a little human growing inside her, a life that had been created in her own body, that she could provide it with everything it'd need with her own body until it reached about 2 years of age. Well, except for clothing...

She could breastfeed her daughter, and she was convinced it would be a daughter, for almost two years. Actually, as long as she would be nursing she would also be producing milk. And it would help her get her pre-pregnancy figure back faster.

Breastfeeding had once been also used as birth control in the past, the mothers breastfeeding their children until the child reached at least 2 years of age, but recently it seems that breastfeeding had become something that many women didn't want to do and rather used formulas.

Or weren't able to do. It seems that with the technological progress and developments, increased pollution, various radiations, genetically modified food and a host of other factors some women weren't able to produce milk and some weren't even able to conceive. Makes one wonder what we expose our bodies to every day...

Or maybe they just don't want to nurse, or see it as just another example of women being enslaved. Some of the extremist feminists even see pregnancy and women's unique ability to conceive life and give birth as a form of slavery to their male dominars.

Loren scoffed at all those extremist theories and didn't care much for feminism now that women had achieved emancipation.

She was also secure in her own femininity and was able to easily admit that there are things men are better at than women and was also able to admit when she needed a man to do something for her when she couldn't do it herself.

And breastfeeding was something she could do and had decided early on that she would not feed her child with those questionable chemicals, that have been known to hurt children, and would instead feed it with her breast milk, as mammal females are still doing it after millions of years of evolution and that had been proven is only beneficial for the baby, especially colostrum.

Until then she would have to suffer tender and aching breasts, as they grew, darkening areolas and nipples (she'd loved their previous pale pink color) and everything else that came with creating another life and having it grow within her.

She just wished she didn't have to do it by herself as she was terrified of it, of being a mother, of being a bad mother, of being a single parent.

She'd heard how hard it is to raise a child even if you have a partner, but doing it without one and with absolutely no support group, no-one to help her, no-one to turn to for advice, no-one to believe in her and hold her hand through it, no-one to hold her in their arms when she needed it, no-one to even babysit the kid for an evening so she could go out and relax on her own,... was filling her with terror and had her ask herself how was she going to do it.

Not for the first time did she ask herself how it would be to have a life partner, a husband, with her through it all, till' death does them part, a husband that would stand by her and would go through this pregnancy and life in general with her and for some weird, incomprehensible reason the face of CDR Harmon Rabb, Jr. kept showing up in her mind.

She shoved that face away roughly and concentrated on her shower.

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	12. Chapter 12

Okay, a question: does anyone know why the show says that the HQ is in Falls Church, Virginia when it's really at Naval Yard in DC, a very short distance away from the White House?

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Loren luxuriated in the shower, the water had fantastic pressure and Harm had installed an amazing showerhead that had water pounding on her back muscles, massaging and relaxing them after days of stress.

Was there any way she could swipe Harm's showerhead without him noticing?

Unfortunately hardly.

Or somehow wrangle out or buy permission to come here to use his shower whenever she wanted, especially after stressful days, when she could feel her back muscles tied up into knots of stone?

Then a lascavious thought came to her mind of just how she could get that permission, and even the right to use his shower and from what she'd felt while grinding against him in bed it would be _very_ pleasurable. For them both. Not only that, but his body definitely responded to her.

Then her shoulders slumped. Okay, realistically speaking, that idea was so out there that it wasn't even in orbit. She would never stoop as low as to offer sexual favors or even get romantically involved with a man just so she could use his shower. Besides, she knew Harm wouldn't go for that.

After all, the man was still pining for that intentionally ignorant LtCol, who would accept nothing less than straightforward words, something that Loren herself was smart enough to stop believing in years ago and now believed actions only. Words lie, people lie, actions don't.

Okay, so she could see why a man would be attracted to the other woman, whom Loren admired because she rivalled Loren in coldness and calculativeness many times, what with the older woman being so tall, with her beautiful olive skin-tone, and having an athletic figure and such big breasts. Loren was sure the other woman had no trouble picking up men to take home for a night of carefree and no-strings-attached sex. However, she did seem to have a huge trouble maintaining a relationship. Or even starting one herself. It was always the men that had to make the first step and give up something to have her.

'Okay, that's like the pot calling the kettle black, except for the last part.' acknowledged Loren sheepishly, fully aware of her own track record in relationships, her inability to maintain them and that she didn't really have a clue how to go about them, her current condition being a piece of evidence.

Nonetheless, when she'd first transferred to HQ, Loren had noticed a couple of times that Harm was attracted to her too, even if it was only a physical attraction. True, she was shorter than the LtCol...

'...but I don't look like a dried-out bean pole. And MY curves were ALL given by nature and not by a plastic surgeon.' thought Loren smugly, slightly wickedly.

Since she'd gotten pregnant she'd noticed that men, and Harm among them, were giving her more looks than before and she had a vague idea why. When she wasn't puking her guts out she had to admit that the pregnancy agreed with her.

She'd noticed how fuller and lusher her hair had become, how much bigger, fuller and heavier her breasts had grown (and they would grow even more when she would start breastfeeding), the healthy pink her cheeks had during the times she wasn't nauseous,... and this all had obviously gotten one particular man's attention.

But he hadn't been willing to act on his attraction, still too hung up on LtCol Ice Queen. Oh yes, Loren was of the opinion that Mac deserved a name to be used for her too, if she herself was giving out such names already, and this one fit quite well in her opinion. If Mac believed she had the right to give other women derogatory names without a good reason (while she had to admit that the name Bugme Harm had given Brumby had fit well and the Aussie had definitely deserved it, having gone on her nerves as well), such as Neurotic Annie, Jordan the Shrink, Video Princess,..., then others also deserved the right to give such names to her as well.

Though Harm wouldn't do anything about his attraction Loren was sure that with the appropriate approach and gentle, persistent persuasion he could cave in to her. He was the kind of man that would be won by a steadfast, dedicated siege and not by guerilla warfare, especially not by hit and run tactics, that just confused him more and kept him off balance, something he didn't want. To him the proof of love was the willingness to wait for him and to be showing interest in a relationship with him continuously, and not just occasionally when blindsiding him with a demand or an ultimatum. He was also a man that didn't take demands, much less ultimatums, kindly and lightly.

However, not even sex or a fantastic shower was worth risking their comfortable professional relationship, he was the only one who didn't treat her with a barely hidden animosity, and she wanted to have at least one friend in the office...

If they'd cross that line and it didn't work out she would probably have to transfer somewhere else and she didn't want her career to take the hit of transferring and losing her to-TPTB-visible posting at HQ itself.

Thus, she fully dismissed her idea of getting the shower-rights this way by blaming it on her hormones.

So she had to enjoy it while she could.

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Once again taking the shower gel she poured a generous amount of it onto her hand, then massaged it into her hair, fully aware that after this she would be smelling of him as if he'd branded her.

Thank god they didn't have work today or tomorrow because someone would probably, most likely that nosy LTJG Sims, figure out the fact that she had Harm's scent all over her and would figure out that she'd spent the night in his bed. Well, they wouldn't be mistaken because she _had _slept there after all and she _had _showered in _his _shower with _his _shower gel...

And she was sure nobody would believe it when she and Harm'd try to set the record straight because the evidence would be just too incriminating.

Once the lather was thick enough she spent a few seconds just massaging her scalp, making herself relax even more, then she rinsed. She repeated this 3 more times until she was squeaky clean.

Then she took a large towel and briefly scrubbed herself down, wanting the open space of the bathroom to towel-dry herself fully. While the shower had been bought large specifically for Harm's size that still didn't mean that there was enough room for a pregnant woman to flail her arms around ridding herself of the water.

Besides, she didn't want to risk slipping on the slippery bottom, endangering herself and the baby. The baby was constantly growing and thus starting to shift her center of gravity, making her dangerously unstable when bending over, like when she was trying to dry her legs. And because of that trying to balance on only one leg would've been practically suicidal.

Then she stepped out onto the soft, fluffy carpet on the bathroom floor to finish drying off.

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	13. Chapter 13

Once she'd finished drying herself off she remained standing naked in the middle of the bathroom.

The first thing she did was conduct her regular breast exam and was relieved to find nothing.

Then, looking at herself critically, she decided her legs and armpits needed an urgent shave and her teeth needed brushing.

Remembering Harm's offer to use anything she needed, she grabbed his razor and shaving cream and headed back for the shower stall. With sure, precise strokes she quickly took care of the unwanted growth, then ran her soft hands down her legs and over her armpits and was satisfied to find the skin smooth.

A thought occured to her as to how would she shave her legs in a couple of months when she would be too big to bend over enough. With a resigned sigh she concluded that the beauty salon would be taking a lot more of her money in the coming months than it had ever before since she had no-one, namely a husband, to do things like that for her. Just another of the many perks of committed relationships and that Loren was missing out on.

Then she thoroughly cleaned the razor in hot water and put it back where she'd found it.

A little apprehensively she stared at the toothbrush taunting her from it's plastic cup. Okay, so using Harm's razor wasn't such a small thing, but brushing her teeth with the same brush that Harm had in his mouth daily, was. It felt a lot more intimate. Even more intimate than sex with someone. Sex does not equate intimacy and there are billions of people who had had sex with someone, but never used that someone's toothbrush.

The only thing sex-related that could equate with this act in regards to it's level of intimacy was sex during that time of the month.

'Whoa! What the hell am I thinking!? Sex and CDR Rabb can't be, must not be, in the same sentence together. I need to get control of my hormones and get my mind out of the gutter!'

Unconscious of the fact that she was behaving as if she was in her own bathroom at home she was still fully naked.

After a long day of wearing that stiff and uncomfortable uniform it was exactly this feeling of freedom that she always needed and took full advantage of it at home.

After taking a shower she always went to bed naked. Granted, maybe not the most hygienic thing to do, but it let her feel unconstrained, it helped reduce her stress levels and relax, recharge batteries for another long, tiresome day at the office.

After a few minutes of a silent, but fierce inner battle she sighed and resolutely took Harm's toothbrush and proceeded to clean her teeth before she'd change her mind.

After she was done she took a few minutes to just study her form in the large full-size mirror by the sink ('Harm must've gotten conned into or forced by one of his ex-s to put it here.' she mused, because she couldn't imagine him installing such a mirror for himself), looking for any new symptoms and side-effects of her pregnancy.

She noticed with satisfaction that her breasts had grown somewhat since the start of her pregnancy and her nipples had started to grow thicker and longer. The negative side, of course, being the darkening of her areolas and nipples, as she'd quite liked their previous bright pink colour. There was of course also her ever-growing belly and disappearing waist-line and she realized that she wouldn't be able to hide her pregnancy for long from the rest of the staff, who knew nothing of the reasons she'd been pulled off USS Seahawk.

The main reasons why she would no longer be able to hide it was the fact that she was starting to show quite obviously and the other was that they were just weeks away from switching over to summer whites. And there was no way in hell she'd ever be able to hide her pregnancy in summer whites.

She sighed softly in resignation with that fact and glided her hand over her abdomen in one last loving caress before deciding she'd been in there for long enough. It was time for her to leave her small haven and face the world, besides Harm was probably already feeling the urge to visit the little pilots' room...

Stepping carefully into the boxers that Harm had provided her with, so as not to fall since her center of gravity was shifting, she pulled them up.

While normally they would've been too large now they fit almost perfectly, having her tie the string only lightly around her belly so as not to restrict her.

She smiled ruefully, she had already gained weight, too much in her opinion.

Looking around for her used panties she came up with nothing.

Then her eyes flickered over the washing machine and the realization dawned on her. At home she had the habit of putting her underwear in the washing machine immediately upon taking them off her body. By now it was an already ingrained reflex, something she did automatically, and it was exactly what she'd done earlier.

After having taken off her panties she'd simply shoved them and her bra into the washing machine, closed the small round door and turned the apparatus on.

And now she was without underwear. Thankfully Harm had been insightful enough to lend her his own boxers...

Suddenly she had to stiffle a giggle and at the same time the groan of dread at the thought of what Harm's face would look like when he'd be emptying the machine only to stumble upon her underwear... Her black silky, lacy, and somewhat racy, underwear. Thankfully he wasn't anything like Cary Grant's character in "I was a male war bride" and wouldn't give it back to her in the middle of the bullpen in front of the whole staff.

She wondered whether he would be able to look her in the eye after having found it and doubted it very much. For all his charm Harm was pretty private and even shy when it came to relationships, sex and anything intimate, even to the point that Mac had accused him several times of being a prude.

He would probably not be able to meet her eyes for the whole day or would be blushing the entire time.

Anyone who'd really know her would've also known that she had a wicked sense of humor and right now she was grinning at the thought of how confused and embarrassed Harm would be when he'd finally unload the machine.

Then she put on the sweat pants and the T-shirt, stuffing her used clothes into the plastic bag Harm'd provided.

Checking herself one last time she picked up the bag and opened the door, leaving the bathroom.

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	14. Chapter 14

Loved the reviews, keep them coming!

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She closed the door, then turned around and let out a startled shriek.

Harm was sitting on the bed, reading an article in some pilot's magazine. At her shriek he looked up startled and almost dropped the paper.

Their expressions of surprise were identical, with the exception that Loren was pressing a hand to her chest, trying to calm down her racing heart.

"Are you trying to kill me?" she gasped out.

"Sorry." Harm mumbled apologetically.

"Were you sitting here the entire time while I was in the shower?" she asked suspiciously once she'd calmed down enough.

"Yeah, wanted to give you privacy." he answered cautiously.

"Huh?" her mind did not compute how he could equate privacy with sitting practically on the other side of the door while she was having a shower. Thank god she hadn't sung in the shower!

"The wall of the shower that separates it from the rest of the living space is made of glass bricks, except for the part where it connects to the bedroom." he explained and her eyes widened. She hadn't noticed that due to having been preoccupied with hygiene and the thinking she'd done. She was grateful for his thoughtfulness and the fact that Harmon Rabb Jr. was all gentleman.

"Uh, I hope you don't mind I borrowed your toothbrush and your razor. I cleaned them both very thoroughly afterwards." she smiled sheepishly.

He barely kept a stoic face as he nodded. "No problem, I can understand wanting to brush your teeth first thing in the morning." On the inside he was in a turmoil, this all was getting a mightly domestic feeling to it, something he'd never experienced before with a woman and wasn't entirely sure he was comfortable with the thought of experiencing that with Loren.

Since, you know, they weren't even involved...

First sleeping in the same bed (okay, that was more of a necessity) and waking up in each other's arms (okay, this wasn't a necessity), his hand caressing her unborn baby (DEFINITELY not a necessity), then lending her his clothes to wear (stopping with the necessity thingy at this point because everything that comes after was nowhere close to being a necessity), then her using his toothbrush and razor, taking a long leisurely shower in his bathroom, towel off with his towels, wear his underwear and his clothes (which he had to admit looked pretty good on her, better than they'd ever looked on him, though they were a little big still - but he was sure she'd grow into them within a month),... They were acting like an ordinary married couple with a baby on the way.

What was next?

Picking out nursery wallpaper patterns? Going shopping to Babies 'R Us? Hold hands and sing kumbayah?

The few times he'd allowed himself to imagine himself as a husband and/or father he hadn't imagined himself being in these roles with Loren of all people.

Okay, so that was a little nasty of him, Loren wasn't the bane of humanity and evil personified after all. She was a woman, though very ambitious and focused one, but she was still a woman, that had showed on more than a few occasions she had a soft side to her and obviously was capable of romantic feelings in order to have gotten into this condition...

Okay, so women aren't all just about feelings and there are, unfortunately, many women out there that have as shallow a view on sex as women accuse the entire male gender of having. Which means that they regularly have unprotected, carefree, okay, careless, sex with complete strangers they'd met just minutes ago for the first time when they'd picked them up at some bar or somewhere. This type of people (both men and women) people in medicine like to call 'the prime candidates for STDs and especially the HIV'.

Even though Loren had been working with him for over 3 years now and had dated his brother for a brief time, Harm knew her mainly as an officer, lawyer, coworker and something of a friend. Okay, so he knew a little of the woman in her, from the time he'd seen her with Sergei, which had been the first time he'd ever seen the tender and affectionate side of her.

No matter how little he knew her as a woman he also knew that she wasn't as bad as she liked to pretend and that she was obviously well capable of feeling positive feelings. The proof was her relationship with Sergei and the fact that she hadn't gotten rid off the baby, no matter who's it was, that she actually wanted this baby.

He was broken out of his thoughts when suddenly her eyes widened and her face took on a green tinge. Just as Harm was about to ask what was wrong, she pressed her hand to her mouth, turned and disappeared inside his bathroom again, answering his unspoken question. Soon the sounds of vicious retching were heard and Harm winced in sympathy.

He got up and followed her, finding her on her knees before the porcelain bowl.

Reaching out, he grabbed a small towel, soaked it with cold water and pressed it against her neck. With his other hand he gathered her hair to hold it away from her face so she wouldn't soil it. She was too busy retching to show any indignation at his walking in and engaging in such intimate actions.

When she was finished she weakly leaned back against him and accepted the glass with water he offered to wash her mouth. After she did that, she gave it back with a soft "Thank you." and leaned back again, putting her head on his shoulder, too exhausted to move and miserable enough to want his presence and comfort, leaving Harm no choice but to put his arms around her so she would not slip and fall to the ground.

Now this was getting spooky to Harm. They were really acting as if they were married. After all they'd done earlier, now also holding back her hair and holding her in his arms after she'd been visited by her morning sickness. What's next?

Holding hands and picking out baby furniture and nursery paint?

Unbidden, a small thrill of hope and expectation coursed through his veins at the thought.

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	15. Chapter 15

I apologize for these sparse and short updates, but I've got a seminar paper to hand in on Thursday and will be helping set up an exposition on a foreign country all day Wednesday (I met that country's Consul the previous week) which means I won't have that day to work on the paper and I've got two fics for which I have inspiration currently in the works. One of them is a X-mas fic, yeah I know (rolls eyes), I joined on the band wagon and am writing about the most trite of topics. It's a HarmJen 2004 Christmas fic, it'll be a smut fic, but I'm thinking of cutting out the smut parts, posting the rest of the fic as T rating and then posting the smut parts separately, for those who are offended by the description of two people making love and don't want to read it, so you'll be able to read the fic without those parts.

I also warmly recommend the viewing of Rageh Omaar's documentary "Rageh inside Iran". Shines a different light on the country the pres. and war-mongering propaganda likes to call the axis of evil.

Anyway, loved the reviews, keep them up.

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Finally, after a few minutes, the weakness had left her and Loren moved to stand up. Harm immediately helped her, ignoring the feeling of bereft when she left his arms, and Loren silently, though gratefully accepted his help.

She realized with a start that she could easily get used to this.

Not the 'puking her guts out in company and in the presence of her superior officer', but having someone there through this all, helping her, having Harm help her through this pregnancy, and any later pregnancies, and stand by her for life.

She knew with absolute certainty that Harm was the kind of man that would never leave her if he were the baby's father or had he simply accepted the responsibility of raising this child with her, and would be with her through everytihng for the long haul.

This is what she'd been missing. Through all her bouts of morning sickness until now she'd felt empty, as if something was missing. Until now she hadn't admitted to herself that she'd been feeling lonely and deserted through this time that should've been the happiest of her life, a time and happiness that she should've been sharing with her life partner and father of the baby.

The feeling of being held by Harm in his strong arms just minutes ago was something completely new and it had discomfited her that she should have these kinds of feelings induced in her by her co-worker.

The second she'd left the safe and warm shelter of his arms she'd started missing him and the only thing she wanted was to return to that wonderful place as quickly as possible. But she had to be strong, she wasn't some fairy-tale-stereotypical weak clingy female who needed a man to make her feel safe and happy and giving into such weakness could cost her later on.

Besides, she was Loren Singer, the Scourge of JAG, why would someone like Harmon Rabb even want her?

Harm helped her to the sink where she again brushed her teeth to get rid of the bitter taste. Harm watched this all mutely, already planning his next trip to the store to buy a new toothbrush.

He wouldn't trash this old one, but clean it and give it it's own little plastic glass and space in his cabinet. His life was definitely weird and thus this particular woman could very well need the toothbrush again in the future. In the meantime he had to brush his own teeth, he was sure that his own breath wasn't the most pleasant.

When she gave the toothbrush back to him, smiling trustingly and thankfully, some new emotion squeezed his chest painfully at the sight of her so beautiful and trusting and simply _there_ in his bathroom, washing her teeth with his toothbrush. He realized that this is what marriage is probably like, two people sharing everything, the good and the bad and standing by each other through it all, and a wave of regret for lost opportunities washed over him.

But the force of habit was just as strong and he quickly, but thoroughly, disinfected the brush as he didn't particularly want in his mouth what Loren had puked out, then quickly put the brush under water, applied the paste, and started brushing his teeth, ignoring Loren's widened eyes.

It hadn't even occured to her that she'd been using his brush again and that he would need to use it himself, so it had taken her by quite a surprise to see him put it into his mouth just seconds after it had been in hers. It not only showed how much he trusted her, but it also gave her a weird strong feeling of domesticity, as if they were married. She didn't know that Harm had had the exact same feeling just moments earlier.

When he was done they made their way silently out of the bathroom and towards the living room.

She collapsed onto one of the chairs by the dining table and a cup of tea immediately appeared in front of her. She looked up and smiled thankfully, receiving a smile in return. While Loren was sipping on the warm tea Harm was busy preparing her a light meal.

A few minutes later they were both eating some french toast, drowning it in tea. In deference to Loren not being allowed to drink coffee Harm was drinking tea as well and Loren's heart felt full at such a sweet and throughtful gesture.

After they were finished they took the dishes to the sink and washed them side by side even though Harm had protested that Loren was a guest and wasn't supposed to do that. In return Loren said that it was just a small payment for everything he'd done for her.

Then she got sober. "I can never fully express my gratitude or pay you back for what you did, Harm, not just today, but especially not for yesterday. No-one else I know would ever do something like that, do me such a favor and then even risk their life for me. I truly am grateful to you, more than you'll ever know. So, even though it's not nearly enough to express the magnitude of just how thankful I am to you, thank you."

Harm was touched by her words and her sincere large blue eyes had him stammering. "It was nothing, I was glad to do it and would repeat it anytime. No, I really mean it, Loren. You ever need help again, just ask me, I'll never hold it against you, or think you're weak because of it, I'll be there and I'll help you any way I can."

She couldn't stop a tear from escaping and running down her cheek. She sniffled, her emotions in an uproar. She knew it was coming, but was helpless to prevent it.

The next thing he knew Harm had his arms full of a sobbing Loren. Bewildered he blinked at her, then started rubbing her back hesitantly, encouraged to do it more determinedly when she hugged him tighter.

Harm was for the first time in his life getting his 101 on pregnancy and hormones.

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	16. Chapter 16

Well, this is the part where we're finally moving somewhere, the turning point of this fic.

Loved the reviews, keep them coming!

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After a few minutes she let him go and wiped her eyes and cheeks embarrassed. "I'm sorry. It's just these damn hormones, I start crying for nothing and can't help it. Yesterday I cried over some stupid commercial for a fabric softener!" she chuckled and Harm joined in.

"Come on." he told her and led her towards the couch, taking two mugs with fresh tea.

They'd been drinking tea and talking quietly for a while, each contemplating the events of that morning.

Along with many other new revelations about his co-worker he had found out that she was not only a covers-hog, but also a bed-hog. He still distinctly remembered how she'd taken up most of the bed and pushed him to the edge, where he'd spent the night clinging to it. He just couldn't understand how a person so small could take up so much room.

Of course he didn't know that she'd scooted over much of the bed and was bodily pushing him to the edge because in her sleep she'd sensed his body and had pressed herself backwards into him partly for the heat, but mostly for the comfort the feeling of being in his arms had given her.

There was also her mischevious side (he still wasn't sure how he felt about that one) and the side that had allowed him to hold her and had thrown her into his arms when she'd been seeking safety.

It was a while before Harm had finally gotten the courage to ask and he hesitantly broached the topic.

"Loren, I've always accepted the fact that you didn't want anyone to know, but from everything I've gathered at the time, from what I saw and was told, I think I have the right to know. I'm not pressuring you to tell me now, but please consider telling me..."

Loren interrupted him, looking away nervously. This was hard for her, she'd never told anyone about this before, because it was the proof of one of her greatest mistakes. "You're right, you do have the right to know, especially since I know what kind of a man you are, that family means everything to you. And you're right, this baby is Sergei's." she finished quietly, turning to look into his eyes and Harm saw she was telling the truth.

He nodded, acknowledging he'd heard her, then fell silent. "I've always been aware that you're a very ambitious woman, but I always somehow knew that you're a one-man-woman and that you wouldn't have anything to do with other men while you were with Sergei." Loren seemed to glow at his assessment of her character.

"I just didn't know if you really _were _with him or not, he was never forthcoming about your relationship." he finished. "And I didn't want to dig too much."

"We weren't really a couple." Loren fell silent. "While we liked each other we weren't in love. We were together only once, it was a drunken mistake that shouldn't have happened in the first place. It was when you were on the Samson investigation. We were very drunk, I was on the pill and I thought that was all the protection I needed. It was just once, when we woke up we were horrified over what we'd done. You see, we've discovered that we were better as friends than anything else and sex was just an unwanted and unneeded complication to our relationship. After that we grew apart and soon Sergei went back to Russia. That one time of sex practically ruined our friendship."

Harm was silent, not knowing what to think and what to feel. "So, you're saying that it was a mistake and unwanted."

Loren looked him in the eyes. "The act itself was a mistake, it never should've happened in the first place because it was with the wrong man." Harm didn't ask who in her opinion was the right man. "And I have to admit that the consequence was unwanted as well. I've never wanted the complication of an unplanned and illegitimate baby in my life. You know what this will mean for my career. I admit I had thought of aborting it, but it was already too late, I was over 2 months pregnant."

Harm kept silent. The idea of a Rabb child not being born was painful, but he'd always been of the opinion that it's the woman's right to choose what she wants. Whether it was an abortion or not. After all, it is the woman who's life and body are irreversibly changed by it and it is she that will have to go through the whole pregnancy and labor, not anyone else, not the partner, not the Church and not the government.

"It's gonna be hard, I'm completely alone in this, my whole life's gonna change so completely and I just... don't do.. changes." a small tear slipped past her defences and down her cheek. Loren wiped it away impatiently. "It's been hard these past few months already and I don't know how I'm gonna get through the rest of it. You don't know how much it means to me what you did today, just helping me when I had my first attack of sickness this morning and simply taking care of me. It's hard to be pregnant on your own and I shudder at the thought of what is yet to come. Hell, in a few months I won't even be able to put my shoes on by myself, much less do other things and I have no idea how I'll do it." she sniffled again.

He was quiet for a while, just taking her hand in his own to comfort her, then after a few minutes he whispered. "You don't have to, you know."

"What?" she asked puzzled.

"You don't have to do it on your own." he clarified with a little stronger voice.

"What do you mean? Who would help me? Who would help the hated LT Witch? I bet most of the staff would celebrate if I died even before giving birth. They hate me." she snorted slightly tearfully at his surprised expression then. "Yeah, I know of the nickname LtCol MacKenzie had come up with for me." her face then fell again and a lone tear made it's way down her pale cheek before she wiped it away angrily.

"I'm all alone." she whispered, getting slightly angry at him for playing some games with her and reminding her of her miserable situation. "Who would ever help me?" she asked despairingly, tears finally starting to course down her cheeks in torrents.

"I will."

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	17. Chapter 17

I have to tell you guys, your reviews have completely blown me away. Very mucho gracias! Please keep it up even though I was so negligent in updating.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, a happy Hanukah, a happy al-'Id al-Kabir, a happy end of the International Rumo Year, a Happy New Year and all other holidays possible.

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"What!?"she exclaimed looking into his serious face. "Are you crazy!?"

"No. Just... please... listen to me for a second." when he saw her nod in aquiescence he continued. "You're carrying the next generation of Rabbs and, by the looks of it, it will be the only Rabb of the next generation." the statement was neither bitter nor self-depricating, it was a statement of irrefutable fact. But Harm's certainty and sadness in his eyes still shocked her into silence.

"You are the only one saving our line from extinction. We were once a very big family and are now down to 6 people, including you." Loren's eyes welled up with tears at being included in his family and she silently cursed her all-over-the-place hormones. She had never had that before now and the fact that they considered her family, even with how nasty she was sometimes, almost made her cry.

"I don't know what really happened between you and Sergei, or why he decided to leave, nor why you never told him about the baby and honestly I don't really care. But as this is the next Rabb I, as it's only uncle and the only father figure blood related to her biological father, am not only honor and duty bound to step in and help you in any and all ways I can, if only to make things easier on you, but I also want to. I won't have any kids of my own, my falling in love with the wrong woman has taken care of that, I bet everything on the wrong one and because of that waited too long to have it with someone else, but I want to be there all the way for this niece of mine, I want to be there for every minute of her life that I can, even before she's born. I want to feel her kick and move within you every day, I want to be with you through the entire pregnancy, be there for the Lamaze classes with you, rub your back when it hurts and your feet when they get swollen, go out at 0200 because you are having some weird cravings, dodge flying objects when you have mood swings..." Loren didn't know whether to smirk at his already having accepted such an event or getting angry at him for his saying that she was having mood swings occasionally. Harm unconsciously put his open palm on her swollen belly and Loren felt warmth radiate from it through her entire body.

Neither had noticed that Harm had gone from being there for the baby to being there for Loren, helping _her_, going through the pregnancy with her for _her_and himself, being part of not only her baby's life but also her's.

"... go through the labor with you, hold your hand and encourage you to push while you try to break my fingers and call me every ugly word in your vocabulary, change the diapers, wake up at oh-dark-hundred to fetch her so you can nurse her, see her first steps, hear her first words, take her for her first day at school with you, give her away at her wedding,..." Harm shut up then, embarrassed at having said all that, having said too much and having scared Loren and himself. He hadn't meant to say this all, he hadn't even known he wanted it, but he'd been on a roll and his deepest, hidden desires just slipped out.

His eyes strayed throughout his apartment, not wanting to meet hers for the fear of seeing anger, hate or revulsion in them, unaware that his hand was still rubbing her belly.

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"That would mean we'd have to move in together." the voice was slightly shaky.

Harm hadn't thought of the details, but this summed it all up pretty accurately. "I hadn't thought of it, but when said that way, I guess it would."

Suddenly she panicked, this was moving too fast too far.

"I... I'm sorry, but I can't... this is moving too fast for me. I just can't. Sorry." she stammered, her eyes not meeting his own.

Harm nodded understandingly, having known he had pushed too far the moment he'd asked the question. "I understand."

But he'd had to ask, he couldn't have lived without knowing, without even trying.

He had to admit, his reasons hadn't been fully altruistic, they'd been selfish too.

It had been so long since he'd let himself get really close to a woman, open up to her fully and take a chance on love and happiness.

It'd been Diane the one he'd really taken the risk on and that because he'd known they were right for each other.

They'd known each other for almost 14 years when he thought they'd finally caught a break and could finally have everything they'd wanted, have it all, the whole damn cliche: marriage, eventually kids, house, careers... But then a crazed XO took it away from them, killing one of the couple and scarring the other one for life. Scars that would never fade, that would mark him and hinder him for as long as he lived.

The following relationships had been struggles because they'd been the wrong choices in women. Diane had been the only right choise, the only lucky choice, in love and in romantic partners he'd made.

She'd been the only one of the women he'd been involved with that had accepted him whole, that loved every part of him. Annie had hated the pilot and Naval officer in him, Jordan had loved only the lawyer, but resented the pilot, Mac was the same, Renee had just wanted a good looking highly decorated officer on her arm that would make her look good before her friends and enemies at those high society parties she'd taken him to so many times, the parties he detested so much.

Now he was ready to take a risk again, on something that looked like a safe bet.

He hadn't risked himself or his heart on a romantic relationship with his proposal to Loren, which was why Loren's rejection hadn't hurt, had only stung; there had been no talk of love, only talk of raising the child together, being partners in parenthood of the baby they were both blood-related to, the baby that would finally make his life bright, happy and worth living. The only person besides Trish, Frank and grandma Sarah that would love him unconditionally and wouldn't expect something of him, especially not in return for her love. Contrary to romantic partners a child is never an emotional risk because they return their parent's love unconditionally and rarely break their parents' hearts.

He would be 40 in a few short months and had nothing to show for himself, for his life: no wife, no kids, no house, no life. Nothing. Just meaningless pieces of metal on his chest and shoulders and even more meaningless words in his fitrep. Nothing worth anything, nothing that is anything in the big picture.

What had someone said once? Career won't warm your bed at night, nor return your love, much less make your life complete when you're old and too old to continue working.

He had no prospects of having his own kids anytime soon. The last few years he'd gotten into a rut, sacrificing a chance at happiness with someone else for the very slim, vague chance that Mac would someday get her head out of her ass for long enough to finally realize he loved her and would stop playing the field with other men. That was another reason why none of his relationships of the past 7 years had worked.

He knew that it was his own fault that he'd had no love life with some other woman than Mac and, contrary to Mac, he accepted full responsibility for his own actions and mistakes and didn't shove it on someone else.

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	18. Chapter 18

_What happened previously:_

_He knew that it was his own fault that he'd had no love life with some other woman than Mac and, contrary to Mac, he accepted full responsibility for his own actions and mistakes and didn't shove it on someone else._

_And the continuation:_

He'd stopped going out, his social life had dwindled to nothing, leaving him to pine for the woman that was constantly sending him conflicting signals and probably didn't know herself what she wanted, nor had any idea what love is, due to her lack of role models while growing up and with not one healthy, mature and equal relationship during her life (with a drunk, with her CO, with a power-hungry deceitful lawyer and with an emotionally manipulative and abusive control freak). He had tried to give her the signal that he wanted more by making dinners for her and creating a romantic mood with candles and music, but it hadn't worked. Perhaps because Mac wasn't seeing him as a sexual creature, as a potential mate? Because she didn't have any feelings past friendship for him?

He was honest though. No-one had forced him to live like a hermit, not even Mac, who didn't let any chance for a relationship with other men pass her by, always responding immediately when a man showed interest, as if she was obligated to not reject any of them. But pushing away the man who had noticed something of value. It was all his own fault, he was the one dumb enough to cut himself off from other women and potential chances for a happy, fulfilling relationship on the vague chance of something with Mac.

In the darkest hours he was always honest with himself that he was senselessly waiting for that big 5 that would be coming next May.

His and Mac's friendship had never been easy and never straight and safe.

They'd always had constant ups and down, never being on the straight and narrow, but lately those downs were constantly deeper and the ups constantly smaller.

Friendships are high maintenance, his and Mac's friendship was higher maintenance than any other he'd ever had, even higher than any of his romantic relationships and he had to admit that his and Mac's friendship had been falling apart for the past few years. The friendship that had once been so strong was now just a thread straining under the weight of their past.

He'd known that when the big 5 came they either would be at odds over something again, or Mac would be with someone else, or it would be nullified for some other reason.

Then there was also the question, would it have been even fair to a child to bring it into such a volatile and extremely unstable relationship between two people who were never able to go for a month without having some big argument?

It was of no consequence, not any more, Harm had already decided a few weeks ago to sit down with Mac and explain to her that their deal was null and void and why that was so.

He would regret if he'd hurt her, but he didn't think that would be the case as she'd never showed a true, honest wish to have child with _him._ Other men, yes, but with Harmon Rabb, no. She didn't even look like she still remembered it, much less thought of it. Definitely not as often as Harm had been lately.

But here was a chance for him to finally have most of what he wanted, a family. If, big IF, Loren somehow changed her mind and decided she wanted it. But he would not pressure her, knowing himself how it felt to be pressured to make a big life-changing decision in a matter of seconds when you're still too stunned from shock from hearing it. He would just give her time to let her decide on her own.

True, he wouldn't be getting a wife he loved and who'd love him back, but he would be getting a child and a life-partner who would never hurt him or cheat on him. Simply because they weren't in a romantic relationship.

Loren was as prickly as a cactus, she was almost identical to Mac in the way she handled close relationships, but Harm had the feeling that there was more to the LT than she had ever showed, that the treasures were buried deep inside, so deep that no-one had ever before bothered to dig.

She wasn't as mean nor as bad as she let everyone believe, there had been glimpses through her armor over the years, like when she'd helped that woman get herself and her daughter away from her abusive husband.

Those glimpses of her true self had revealed to Harm that beneath that armor and that mask was a compassionate woman, a woman who only wanted a piece of happiness and love for herself in a life that had to have been hard and harsh and that gave Harm hopes that eventually she'd drop her mask around him and let that woman take over when around him.

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"Harm, please take me back to my car." Loren requested shakily. "Please."

Harm nodded silently and got up, going into his bedroom to change his clothes.

When he got out of the bedroom he gave her a bag she could put her clothes into and helped her into her coat, all in silence.

He knew he'd pushed too far and deeply regretted upsetting her.

It was colder than it had been the previous evening, the rain that had started early in the morning having dropped the temperature noticeably.

Harm held an umbrella over both of them as they walked over to his Lexus and, after having unlocked the doors by remote, he opened the door for her first, helping her into the tall vehicle because of her height and pregnancy, then got inside the car himself.

He didn't know what to say so by the time he'd managed to find the right words they were already near the bar.

"Loren..." when she looked at him he continued. "I want to apologize for upsetting you earlier, that wasn't my intention. I'm not taking back what I said, the offer is still on the table and it will be for a long time unless things, like my personal life, change drastically, but I _am _sorry for upsetting you. I shouldn't have hit you with all of that, not that early in the morning, besides completely destroying how comfortable we were around each other. I also regret destroying that, I haven't been as content as I was this morning in a long time. But I pushed too far, into a territory that you're not prepared to even think of venturing. I did it only because of how much family means to me, and you're now part of my family too, but more than that, I know how it's like to grow up without a father and I don't want that for my niece. I will respect whatever limit you set to my role in your child's life, but I hope you will consider letting me be your child's father figure. Anyway, I hope I didn't frighten you with what I offered, but if you want to file a complaint against me I won't protest."

She was silent for a few seconds, during which he had already parked the car on her car's driver's side, so she could switch without getting too wet.

"It's okay, Harm. I admit, I was a little freaked by what you proposed, before you explained just how much family means to you and why you did it. Now I can understand it and I can see where you're coming from. It was just too much too fast. Still, the truth is that I'm terrified of this, of being a mother, of being a single mother, but I've always been self-reliant, the only one I was ever able to trust was myself. I have a hard time trusting anyone and that was my first instinct, besides not having expected that. Still, I admit that some help would be nice, but your offer really was too much too fast. We've gotten to know each other better over the past few months via Sergei, but what you proposed was basically marriage and I don't think I'm ready to let someone in that much, let myself rely on someone else, especially not to that extent. Sorry."

"It's okay." replied Harm, squeezing her forearm gently and immediately letting go to not make her uncomfortable or nervous. "If it makes you too uncomfortable please forget I said anything, but if you at any time decide to take my offer it will still stand. I won't pressure you, meaning won't offer again, so remember that the offer will always stand."

"Okay. I... I should go now, bye." with that she climbed out of the car and entered her own.

Harm waited until she was safely on her way before starting his own car and returning back to his apartment, now so much colder, emptier and lonelier without Loren in it.

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	19. Chapter 19

I assume everyone has already heard of the "clash" between US warships and UNARMED speed boats.

Can't help but think of USS Maddox. It was a Navy destroyer that the Navy claimed was attacked by North Vietnamese attack boats in the Gulf of Tonkin in 1964, which was later revealed had been a complete lie in order to get the right to attack North Vietnam and practically invade South Vietnam.

Or the propaganda campaign in 1990 masterminded by the State Department with a filmed statement of a nurse from Kuwait's main hospital (who claimed that she'd escaped from Kuwait) claiming that Iraqi soldiers had come into the hospital and started killing babies and pregnant women. A few years later an american reporter had blown the story apart, discovering that the "nurse" had actually been the daughter of Kuwait's ambassador in the US, who had never even lived in Kuwait herself... Just another lie to justify an attack on a country that not even 10 years ago the US have supplied with money and weapons (and even triggers for nuclear weapons and battle gases) in it's war with Iran...

Following the precedent this video could very easily be a fake, fake sound effects and speech being recorded over a genuine footage, a product of then USN or the gov in order to get an excuse to attack Iran and to psych the US public into an aggressive and hostile mood (something FOX is trying very much to achieve).

While I am not a supporter of Iran's president's reforms that are pushing the country backwards, especially the position of women in society and their rights; I am against ordinary people, women, children, men, old people, animals,... being killed just because some power and money hungry puppet masters and lobbyists want Iran's oil and natural gas fields. Persian culture has been existing, sometimes thriving, last few centuries sadly regressing, for 2500 years without interruption! So, who has more right to Iran's resources: money people in the US and corporations like Esso or the people that have lived there for 2500 years?

And let's face it, in all the wars, especially the wars the US had started since it had invaded Afghanistan, most of the dead were innocent civilians. What did Powell say? That he doesn't care about the number of civilians (in Iraq and Afghanistan) killed cause to him they don't matter, they aren't important?

Will the 21st century be the century of wars and slaughter enflamed by the man who had bragged about being the one to start the first war of 21st century after he'd attacked Afghanistan on the advice of god (can anyone say 'crusade' and 'holy wars')? Or will humanity realize that it should settle it's differences and decide that peaceful solutions are the best, bringing new era of peace and prosperity to mankind?

Will we ever?

It's up to the next generations, but first we must make sure that the world still exists for them, that it will not be destroyed by either side.

World War III is looking more real by the day...

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Harm sighed, shaking his head ruefully.

Ever since he'd found out about his niece and had asked Loren to allow him to raise the baby with her, it seemed as if fate was against him.

Oh, he understood why Loren had rejected the offer, because, considering their relationship to-date, his proposal had definitely been hasty and strange. He wasn't surprised that it had freaked Loren out. If he'd been in her place he was sure he would've reacted the same.

But no matter how impulsive it'd been, it had felt _right._ It was still feeling right.

That made him think for a second. Did that mean that _Loren_ was the right one, _the one_, for him?

Well, life sure works in mysterious ways, so it could well possibly be.

He was fully aware that Loren wasn't as ice-cold and as nasty as she acted, there was a soft side to her, the side that liked cats and children, the side that desperately wanted this baby, the side that was awfully insecure in her ability to be a good mother.

And then there was himself.

He'd always liked kids and wished to have a family, but this dream of his had fallen through when Diane had been killed.

He'd intended to propose to Diane during their planned weekend away, but had never seen her alive again.

The past few years he'd been becoming aware of an awakening yearning in his heart. He figured that must be how women saw their biological clocks, this ever-stronger desire to have a family.

And as if some cruel fate was against him, everywhere he went now he saw young couples with the woman pregnant, or young couples with small kids, still happy and glowing in their familial bliss. It would've been easier to take it if he'd see a family with moody, rebellious kids who acted as if they hated their parents or something like that, but he never had the luck.

He was also becoming uncomfortably aware of his own age, in just six months he would be 40 with nothing to show for his life.

Oh, he was still capable of getting a woman pregnant, contrary to women men are fertile well into their old age. Charlie Chaplin impregnated a woman when he was over 70. Of course, if he really was the kid's biological father...

But that's not the matter. If it was about just furthering his genes he could go out, pick up some good looking woman in a bar, take her to his place and have unprotected sex with her (providing he didn't get any STDs from her).

No, what Harm wanted wasn't that, what he wanted was to be a Dad, even to a child he did not father.

Every time he saw a happy couple in love he felt his heart ache, but when he saw a happy family his heart was squeezed so tight that it was almost impossible to breathe.

He was lonely. Even though he had friends he was lonely and loneliness is a pain with no match for a human who is by nature a social being. Even though the human race had degenerated much from it's original mate-for-life way of life, most people were still driven by the ancient instinct of procreation.

And now he'd found out Loren was carrying his brother's child he was swamped by instincts and desires. Instincts and desires that on one hand were telling him to protect and be there for these two new members of his family and which were also telling him that here he finally had a chance to have that family he'd always wanted.

On one hand he was feeling guilty for even contemplating claiming a child of his brother's. On the other hand he knew that not only was he able to provide the baby with a better life than his brother, but he was able to give the baby a father, a normal life, a normal family life, with a family the way it is meant to be: with a father and a mother. Sergei could not do that since he lived in Russia, perhaps in poor conditions, with not even having a military pension, that would've been small anyway.

Besides, Loren had made it perfectly clear, Sergei was a mistake and their one night together had been a mistake, she obviously had no intention of involving him in her baby's life or notifying him about her being pregnant.

Loren trusted him so that meant that Harm would not be informing Sergei either, lest he wanted to betray Loren's trust and become just another person who'd hurt her.

Which was something that Harm would never do because he could not live with being another one in a long line of people who'd hurt this woman who had obviously had to endure a lot of pain in her life.

Loren had said 'no' to his proposition, something which had honestly not surprised him. He still hoped that she would allow him to be a close Uncle to the baby, so he could give her something that every child needs for a healthy, stable and well-balanced emotional and mental development, namely a father figure.

Meanwhile he would not pressure her, but he would also not let her to fend for herself. He would try to find ways to make it easier on her, to try to sweeten her life up a little. There surely had to be ways he could do that, he just had to think it through.

With this new plan made the future looked brighter.

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	20. Chapter 20

There's a good news and a bad news. Which one do you want first?

Okay, the good news. We're still in the first third of the fic, meaning there are at least 50,000 words left. As I said previous, the longest fic I've ever written. And I'm constantly adding new chapters as ideas come to me.

The bad news: it's a really bad one. Cause there is none. GOTCHA! Hehe, I'm evil.

Wow, you really must've been anxious for the last part, 8 reviews in less than 24 hours. Keep it up!

**jddrafts:** I sooo agree! That huge honkin pile of money should go to good and smart causes, like the ones you stated (unfortunately I don't think the pres' oil baron daddy and masters would allow that, since they've been holding back progress on that field for the last 50 years) and for social security and health security reforms and new jobs to improve the wellfare of the population. And definitely not for something as wasteful and stupid as wars.

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Loren shoved away from the porcelain weakly, exhausted and weak to the point of shaking and crying. Lonely tears of despair, tiredness, loneliness and abandonment coursed down her sickly green cheeks.

She was exhausted even though she was sleeping the entire time she wasn't at work, her lower back was aching, her breasts were tender and aching from where they were confined by her bra, she was nauseous and from the vomiting also exhausted to the point that she cried helplessly and could not even get to her feet, so she spent at least half an hour after each session just resting against the bathroom wall, resting and gathering the energy needed to get up. All of the bad points of being single and pregnant, of living alone, were making themselves known to her with immesurable cruelty.

When she gathered enough strength she painstakingly crawled slowly back towards the wall of the bathroom and leaned against it with relief.

Even with this small relief she couldn't stop the thought from popping up. 'Harm would've been holding me in his strong, warm arms by now and taking care of me. If only I hadn't said 'no' to him when he offered me everything on a silver plate. I only I had taken him up on his offer...'

It had taken her a few days to be ready to admit it to herself, but she missed Harm. More than that, she wanted with all her heart what he had offered her so trustingly, which she had refused in the blind panic that had gripped her then. She'd regretted her rejection within minutes, but by then it had already been too late to repair it.

Yes, she'd had sex with men before, even Sergei had been gentle in his own drunkeness, but she'd never before experienced the feeling of safety, security, love, caring, but most of all emotional intimacy as she had in Harm's arms.

He made her feel good about herself, made her feel protected, but not smothered; cared for, but not helpless.

Harm had been true to his word these past few days. He didn't pressure her, nor made her feel uncomfortable around him.

He was more attentive to her than previously, but not so much that he'd smother her, send her running or bring attention of others to them.

Still, she could feel his protectiveness over her despite everything.

One thing she knew well about Harm was that he had well developed protective instincts.

Especially over women, children and family, these were subject to even more protectiveness, but never in such a way that they would feel it offensive, insulting or smothering. Well, except for one particular person in his life that always felt it offensive and insulting if Harm was protective...

And Loren just had the misfortune (at least she tried to convince herself that way, but she knew she was lucky to have someone care so much about her and want to protect her, she couldn't remember when someone had last been protective of her and cared so much for her) that she fit in all three groups at the same time, with being a woman, carrying a child within her and being the mother of his niece, thus family.

She had to hand it to him though, he operated truly subtly and inobtrusively and she couldn't find it in herself to be truly angry at him, cause she knew he only cared about hers and the bump's well-being.

Somehow he was always accidentally strolling by when she had something heavy to lift and/or to carry. Which was unfortunately many times what with the big, thick, heavy law books. There was also always a pot of still hot decaf coffee or tea waiting in the break room and she couldn't imagine anyone else drinking it, much less being that thoughtful to make it for her.

Except Harm.

The secretive and pleased smile he sported whenever he saw her drinking it was proof enough of his "guilt". That was another thing.

Somehow he sensed when she just needed someone to keep her company without any talk involved, just being with someone to not feel alone. Many times she ended up hanging around in the break room, with Harm turning up a few seconds later just to drink their teas in quiet, just being there, enjoying the other's presence and thinking about things.

Other times he seemed to sense when she needed someone to converse with and they discussed cases or something else.

And sometimes she just needed a silent reminder that she wasn't alone, that there was someone out there who cared about her, about what happened to her...

This is also where the crackers came in... one day she'd come into the break room to find Harm hiding crackers in a hidden and unusual place in the pantry, giving her a suspicious wink when he saw her watching him. Funny thing though, as she liberated a certain amount of them each day when the morning sickness hit she never noticed a sign that he would be eating them too or that he protested her eating them... Funny thing, right?

There were also the cookies and the milk in the fridge that suspiciously had her name written on their tag even though she knew she hadn't put them there and so many assorted other little things that pleased and sometimes infuriated her to no end, but still endeared the man to her.

He was amazing, not only was he doing all that for her, but he was also letting her know, making her get used to, the fact that she wasn't alone, that he was there, that she didn't have to be alone if she didn't want to.

She honestly wondered how she'd managed to cope with life before.

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	21. Chapter 21

I found the car that has my name written all over it. Now I just have to sell one of my bikes so I can raise the money. I'm not giving away yet which car I have in mind, just a small hint: V8 (European).

Btw., there won't be any Mac bashing in this fic. Oh, there will be a blindsided and because-she-wasn't-told betrayed Mac, but she won't be a jealous and vindictive Mac. I wrote her out-of-character here and, not only she won't do anything vindictive out of jealousy (which unfortunately is her MO according to canon) I also made her into a mature person who'd realized long ago that she and Harm would never work and were just harmful (pun not inteded) for each other and had thus let go of him, enabling them both to move on and find a healthy relationship (something they'd never have together) with someone else. While there won't be an express mention of Mac/Other in this fic, cause honestly I don't care so much for her that I would waste on her the time that would be better spent for writing about Harm and Loren, you can assume if you wish that she's found someone else. And his last name isn't Webb.

If I'd want to pair her up with someone (and that would definitely not be Harm because as I said they dragged each other down and would never work out) I'd want for her someone healthy, someone that would make her grow up and Webb definitely wasn't healthy (he even contributed to her demons and issues) and her relationship with him even made her regress to the point that the Admiral had officially ordered her to seek psychiatric help.

Also, the appearance of other JAG characters will be mostly minimal, the focus of this fic is on Harm and Loren and their adventures together.

And there _will _be adventure. Together with angst, action, humor, drama, crime, hurt/comfort, suspense, a whole ship-load of cliches, and of course romance. But all in good time.

Thank you guys for the reviews and the kind words, keep them up! Also thanks to Chris265 for alerting me to an error I've made. I went back and fixed it.

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Sometimes she had to wonder how he would act if he had no reason to hold back in his affections, attentions and the things he wanted to do to make it easier.

Okay... that wasn't how she'd meant it... she wondered how he would act towards his _wife_ and what exactly he would do if the woman he would be doing this all would've been his wife and he thus had no reason to hold back. She honestly couldn't imagine a traditional man like Harm, especially one who wanted a family so much, not get married when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant if he loved her and thus also couldn't imagine him waiting for the kid to be born before getting married, because he'd want them to be born legitimate into a real family.

There was no way in hell that she had even thought of herself in that position for just a second.

No, siree.

Uh unh. No way, no how. Not Loren Singer.

Harm was just a superior officer that was incidentally her baby's uncle and she definitely didn't even thought of him in that way. Just because he was an extremely attractive, gentle, intelligent, educated and attentive man, and just because hormones had her constantly horny, that didn't mean that she wanted him for herself.

She hated to admit it though, but in just a few days she'd come to rely on there being decaf for her every day, on not having to carry those loads or to ask someone to do it for her, on there always being crackers hidden in the pantry,... and found it honestly nice to have someone to rely on and to have someone care for and about her and she'd unknowingly come to rely on those things always being there.

But more importantly, she'd come to rely on Harm, being there for her, being alive and just being Harm.

Then, of course, the realization of just how much she'd come to rely on him became blindingly, shockingly clear to her when he had to go out of town for an investigation for two days. Sure, there were still the crackers and the cookies and the stuff he'd put there, but there was no decaf, she had to make it by herself, and she now had to get some enlisted to carry things for her, had to see how much it bothered them to do it, while a certain tall full-CDR had done it, not only without a complaint, but had also done it on his own initiative. There were also no caring glances, no silent inquiries if everything was alright and no smiles of support.

Alongside the realization that she'd come to rely so much on him for simple things in life also came the realization of how much she'd emotionally attached herself to him, how much she depended on him for her own emotional and mental security, how much she was relying on him just being there and just _being_ and how much she'd miss him were something to ever happen to him. She also realized how much she was actually missing him while he was away, an emotion that had her cooped up in her office and snapping at everyone till he came back.

But that wasn't at all what was the cause for her not having done much work in those two days, no, she'd been actually _worried_ about him, worried that something might happen to him, that he would get hurt or even killed.

Harm was sometimes a true magnet for trouble. He didn't go out looking for them, even worked towards avoiding them, but somehow they always found him. And that was what had been causing sleepless nights and nerves-wracking waking hours, not doing much work, for those two days. JAGman investigations can be quite dangerous, but with trouble's penchant for finding Harm they could be extremely dangerous for him.

Upon seeing him at work the third day, the amount of relief and the sudden departure of the adrenalin that had had her going for more than 48 hours, had made her actually weak at the knees and she had to sit down to avoid crumpling into an undignified heap on the floor.

When she'd recovered she'd barely held in the urge to storm out there, give him the stereotypical female you-had-me-worried-you-bastard-so-it's-only-fair-you-feel-some-pain slap and start yelling at him, call him names and at the end collapse into his arms, sobbing her heart out in relief. She was also sure that there should be a passionate kiss involved in there somewhere, she just didn't know if it was a precursor to the kiss or after she'd cried herself out. Either way, there should and would be a kiss.

Deciding that that would not only be bad for her reputation to come across as needy and overly-emotional (not to mention what it would do to Harm's reputation if people would find out that Loren Singer had done such thing and regarded him as hers), but would also be detrimental to their careers, she'd managed to reign in that irrational impulse and decided to shelve such theatrics for a later date, if by some miracle she'd have the right to indulge in such public displays of feelings. If she'd have such feelings in the first place, of course.

Cause she didn't have them.

And never would have them.

Definitely not.

And now here she was, facing yet another realization of how much she wanted him there with her, helping her with his selfless eagerness and just making her life so much easier and better in a way only he seemed to know how.

With these thoughts she was also forced to look into her future and compare the path she was on now to the path Harm had offered her.

Her solitary path was full with the ever-present fear of being a single mother, raising the child by herself and constantly facing her insecurities of being a failure as a parent. This path was dark, scary, but straight.

The other path was bright and winding, but potentially held great happiness and was even scarier in one aspect, while being completely safe and solid in the other. It was a confusing, disorienting path, that left her feeling off-kilter and out of balance. It wasn't a solitary path, she was sharing her life with someone in it. On this path she was together with Harm, they were raising this child together as if it was their's together, Harm was helping her through everything, standing faithfully by her side through everything, being her rock, never failing or betraying her, immediately dispelling any thoughts she had of being a failure or inadequate, making life so much easier, fuller, beautiful and worthy of living.

So... there was really no difficult choice to make after all and she didn't know why she'd hesitated for so long.

With hands trembling from nerves, knowing she'd be changing her life forever with her next words, Loren took her cell phone into her hand and scrolled down the list until she found the number of Harm's JAG issued cellular one.

She took a deep breath, released it, pressed the button and changed her life.

Forever.

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	22. Chapter 22

There's another inquest into Lady Di's death. Doubt that they will ever find out the truth, considering who's involved. I believe Mohamed Al-Fayed is right. The British intelligence, at Philip's order, killed her and his son, because she was pregnant and they were to get married. And I bet the CIA's involved too. After all, the Royal family would definitely not want the mother of a future king to marry a muslim and have his children. They'd rather kill her, her fiancee and their unborn baby. Can you imagine the scandal otherwise?

People have been sentenced to death by the "royal" family, even their own members, for much less.

The "official" story is really stupid, weak and transparent. Come on, a professional, season bodyguard being drunk on duty!? Or being blinded by a camera's flash at that speed, especially since there was no-one with a flash in front or at the sides? Yeah, right.

Deliberately killing a woman and her unborn baby is one of the lowest things a human being can do and I hope everyone responsible dies a slow, painful, horrible death.

She did so much good and she paid the ultimate price for following her heart. They robbed the world of the only woman who ever deserved to be called royalty.

Especially among all those in-breds that call themselves the blue blood.

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Can anyone give me a link to pictures of US Navy maternity uniforms? I've written about them and will write about Loren wearing them in this fic, but I've never seen them. Just don't forget to put spaces in the link, because ff net has a filter for links. Example:

www. fanfiction. net

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"Hello?" a voice husky from sleep inquired.

"Harm?" she said shakily, her earlier weakness still clinging to her.

There was a moment of silence, before a surprised, but wary voice asked. "Loren?"

"I need you." she pleaded, with a sob barely prevented from breaking out.

"I'll be right there." was all he said before she heard the dial tone.

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And right there he was.

A scant 20 minutes after having hung up the phone the strong knock echoed through her empty apartment.

Empty.

Loren stopped at the thought as she was moving to open the door, her last emotional reserves drained.

If she'd get her wish it would not be just her for the rest of her life anymore. If she'd get her way, there would be a family. A true family, father, mother, baby.

As the door opened she was greeted with warm, concerned and caring aquamarine eyes of the man who had against her will become so important to her. "I'm here." he said and it was all it was needed.

With a sob completely uncharacteristic for her she threw herself into his arms, something she would be quite embarrassed for later on, and let him hold her and soothe her.

In between the sobs of her cathartic weeping Harm caught only a few words.

Ankles, back hurts, sick, lonely, sorry, afraid,...

But the words that lifted his heart were the ones with which she told him that she wanted what he'd offered her in his singular occasion of unprecedented bravery.

His arms tightened around her upon hearing her decision and he guided them towards the couch, her sobbing slowly drifting of. He held her and rubbed her back comfortingly, murmuring soothing words into her ear, as she just held on to him.

While crying she also admitted her worst fears about the pregnancy and being a mother... that she would be a lously mother, who would only hurt and scar her child and that she wasn't able to do it alone. At that he hugged her tight, rubbed her back soothingly and kissed her hair, saying. "You'll be a fantastic mother, Loren, I'm absolutely certain of it. And I'll be right there beside you all the way. I promise."

To this she pressed herself harder into him, reassured by his words and inspired with a new kind of anticipation for the future, just because she knew he would be there. He'd promised.

He finally figured out what she'd meant to say earlier.

It seemed that she'd been experiencing some pretty nasty symptoms of pregnancy. Her lower back hurt and she had no-one to rub it for her, so she had no way of relieving the by-now-constant pain; her ankles got swollen and because of her baby mound she couldn't bend to rub them herself. Silently he promised himself that he would give her back and foot massages at least once a day. Further more, she was sick all the time, spending most of the morning in her bathroom, she was lonely, or was it sick of being lonely?, and afraid of it all and of what would come, afraid of being a single mother, of raising a child by herself, and she regretted saying 'no' to him and was sorry if she'd hurt him. Even though Harm had expected her to reject his idea it had stung a little, but he'd never tell her, she was feeling miserable enough as it was, the last thing he'd want to do was add to her burden.

Just as he was sure she was asleep she suddenly stiffened in his arms.

Harm was just wondering what was going on when she disentangled herself from his arms and ran full pelt for the bathroom.

This time Harm was there to follow her and as soon as she was leaning over the bowl she could feel a wet wachcloth being placed on the back of her neck and her hair being held away from her face by a caring hand. As she heaved Harm started rubbing her back and murmuring soothing words into her ear.

This was what she wanted, what she needed. What she'd craved every time she was puking her guts out over these past few days. What she'd known she'd get from Harm, what he'd do automatically and without thinking.

That was when she got the final confirmation that she'd made the right decision by taking his offer.

Harm was everything she'd ever expected of him to be, caring, selfless and loving. Everything she'd ever wanted in a man, in a life-partner. A little over an hour ago when she'd been going through this exact same thing by herself she'd mused that Harm would've been doing exactly what he was doing now.

When the dry heaves were over she leaned back, finding Harm's chest behind her and his arms around as she'd expected.

Then she surprised him by turning around and crawling into his lap, putting her ear on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. Normally that would've been a very strange behaviour for her, but she was hormonal, pregnant and emotional and thus it was completely understandable that she wanted such a close contact with another human being, better yet, close contact with a man, who was also a literal human furnace, warming her chilled and trembling body up nicely.

One of his arms went around her waist, securing her in her position, while the other hand was put, in a gesture that felt completely natural, on her growing belly, caressing it gently. Loren pulled up her over-large T-shirt and guided his hand to the naked skin of her belly, letting him feel it for real, just as she'd promised herself that night at the bar, that seemed so long ago now; feeling his smile widen against her hair. He would get to see it later, after all, they had the rest of their lives now together...

Loren sighed gently and relaxed into his arms as he sat back against the wall, settling himself as comfortably as possible for what he had a feeling would be quite a long sitting session.

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What's up with so few reviews for The Promise? 300 hits and only 4 reviews? And the same for "Consequenceful Celebrations" but that one has over 500 hits and only 3 reviews.

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	23. Chapter 23

Thanks for the great reviews, keep them coming!

Sorry for the long wait, guys, but College was quite busy. A happy note... it's now slacking off somewhat.

And another things that's making me happy... I'm just days away from getting Certificate of Conformity for my Goldwing, after that there's only the technical inspection, signing up with an oldtimers bike club (for the 90 percent lower insurance fee), registration of the bike and I'm gonna hit the road with it. FINALLY!!!

I've had the bike for 14 months now and it's finally completely finished and restored. Will upload new pics of it to my website as soon as I can ride it to some place nice to photograph it (as soon as the temperature reaches about 10 degrees Celsius). It looks much nicer now than on that old pic on my site.

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Harm pressed a kiss against her hair, overwhelmed with emotions of the last few minutes. "I'll start moving my things in this afternoon."

"Okay." replied Loren sleepily and nuzzled into his T-shirt.

"Can you bring your showerhead with you?" she asked then out of the blue, startling Harm with the request.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I love how it pounds my back and massages sore, tense muscles. That one shower at your place was the best physiotherapy and massage I've had in years."

"Loren, that has more to do with the pressure of the water than with the showerhead itself." he explained. "And even that showerhead can't give good results if your plumbing is the one at fault."

"Well, could you take a look at my plumbing then?" she asked and because of her repeating his words they both suddenly realized just how strong sexual undertones that phrase had, making them both blush fiercely and look away in embarrassement, though neither could stop the images and ideas that that phrase had brought on.

To save them further embarrassement Harm decided to stay on topic and not engage in flirting as it would only unnecessarily complicate their situation. "I could, but I doubt that I could fix anything, besides the fact that I'm sure that the landlord nor the super would allow that."

"Oh." and she fell silent. "Then I'll move into your apartment." she decided with finality to her voice, making it clear that she considered the matter closed. To herself she muttered. "But I still have the weird feeling you'll be working on my plumbing at some point in the future." Thankfully Harm hadn't heard her words. Nor was she turned off any by the idea.

"Oh?" Harm's eyebrow rose. "And where will you sleep? There's only one bedroom, one bed and no space to put another."

"I'll sleep in the bed."

Harm's other eyebrow joined it's buddy at the top of his forehead. She certainly had a very strong sense of entitlement...

"Really? And where will I sleep? I fell asleep on that couch once before and could barely walk for days, had to take medical leave because of it."

For a brief moment she thought of offering to nurse him back to health if that repeated, but decided that jokes and flirtation could wait for another time. "You'll sleep in the bed too." was said matter-of-factly. The tone was the one one would use for explaining something to small children or very obtuse adults.

"Aaah..." Harm stammered, not knowing what to say to that.

Loren sighed exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. "Look, we're both adults..."

"That's the problem..." Harm muttered.

She glared at him. "We slept one night in the same bed together without anything happening, I'm sure we can repeat it without getting frisky. Besides, I'm pregnant and I can't imagine how you'd find me attractive. Most of all, it's a big bed, I'm positive each will be able to stay on their own side without problem."

Secretly they both doubted the validity of that last statement. They'd spent one night in the same bed, going to sleep far apart from each other, but waking up so entangled neither had known which body part belonged to whom.

Harm also couldn't believe she thought she was unattractive just because she was pregnant. As a matter of fact, her pregnancy made her even more attractive by augmenting her natural good looks. She literally glowed. When she wasn't being sick that is... How could she not notice that?

"I do have one condition though, seeing as I'm the one giving up my apartment."

"What's that?" asked Harm, dreading what he was about to hear.

"You'll install a bathtub. I don't think I can live without an occasional hot bubble bath. And curtains on the windows. We'll go out and buy them, together."

And there was that word. Together.

Well, he HAD been the one to propose the arrangement of moving in together and raising the baby, after all. And living together and raising a child together would automatically make an 'us' out of them, from now on they'd have to make all decisions together, not just by themselves, they would be spending joint money on such things as the normal running costs of having an apartment and of living. They'd have to be making decisions about careers and jobs and buys and expenditures together because it affected them both as well as the baby,...

Essentially they would be like a normal married couple, but without the license and without some of the good things that come with marriage, like sex, they would just have all the bad parts and only a few good ones. Well, the good ones were really good, like having someone to come home to, not spending the rest of their lives alone, having someone to trust and to confide into and spend the evenings together, that as a bachelor you are forced to spend out in bars or clubs unless you wish to be alone and lonely,...

Yet, they didn't have the biggest adhesive and foundation of a romantic relationship... love. Well, that and sex either.

But what they did have was the STRONGEST adhesive specially essential for success of a marriage and any longterm family-raising relationship, namely trust.

In the end, there was nothing left but to agree. "Okay."

He was then distracted from any further thoughts by Loren snuggling in deeper into his embrace, despite the awkward position they were in and the fact that they were on the bathroom floor. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and sighed gently, albeit sleepily. Her pregnancy had taken her body to an amusement park and one of the rides was constant exhaustion and sleepiness.

Sure enough, she drifted off within seconds.

He had the feeling she wouldn't be moving from her position anytime soon.

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	24. Chapter 24

You actually mean to tell me I didn't update this thing!? My god, why didn't anyone say something?

I thought I posted this chappy days ago. So sorry.

A quite long chappy to make up for it.

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

Btw., which is the to-DC-nearest very public beach and is it a sandy beach or a rocky beach? And what is the place called? Thanks.

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NEXT MONDAY

EARLY MORNING

HARM'S APARTMENT

For the second time in his life Harm woke up feeling completely rested and content.

And for the second time in his life he was holding in his arms a very specific, eager for snuggling, fragrant bundle of warmth and very nice curves.

His arms around her body, her tight butt pressed directly into his groin, they fit so perfectly like they'd been made for each other. One of his arms was slung around her ribcage beneath her breasts and above tummy and the other hand was on her growing belly, palming it gently.

He groaned quietly in disbelief.

How was it possible?

He'd made sure that they went to sleep on different sides of the bed, how could they have ended up in each other's arms again?

He didn't even know how she felt about this, because she'd never said anything the last time it'd happened.

The other reason why it was so was damn annoying was because he hadn't been with a woman in 2 years and his body was responding to Loren, big time.

How do you tell your own body that it shouldn't enjoy the glorious feeling of holding a warm, willing and quite pliant woman, when it was so pleasurable?

He'd had to spend his last 2 years worth of nights alone in this bed, which admittedly was no-one's fault but his, and he'd admitted to himself a long time ago that he didn't like to sleep alone, lonely. He was fed up with being alone, but never could manage to move his and Mac's relationship forward, either he wasn't ready when she was, or she'd blindsided him and he took too long to reply or she either resisted his hints, or misunderstood them, or wanted the words that he wasn't ready to say yet, or just didn't want him, or she had someone else and thus didn't want nor need Harm.

There was of course also the matter of sex... he WAS a (okay, not young) healthy, virile, single man after all and celibacy screws with anyone's self-control when they are holding a desirable member of the opposite sex in their arms, while laying in their own bed, with only two thin scraps of fabric preventing copulation, which with their positions would've happened were they naked.

Even almost-daily quality times between one's hand and "equipment" lessen sexual frustration only very little and for a very short time, not preventing it from continuing to build up. If for nothing else he had to do it as a way of preventing prostate cancer, since doctors recommend at least 5 ejaculations per week as a way of fighting this disease that kills more men than any other disease. Even with this his body still responded.

Loren soft, content sigh echoed in the stillness of the room, causing Harm to freeze, and he felt her burrow deeper backwards into his embrace.

Only then did he notice that she was awake, had been awake for a while, her breathing too fast to be asleep.

She obviously liked what he was doing and didn't want it to end, so he stayed where he was, only glancing at the clock.

It was early, they still had time.

Neither said anything for a few minutes, just laying there, pretending that this was normal. They'd both been so lonely, alone and starved of affection for such a long time that they just allowed themselves to enjoy this brief moment in time.

After a few minutes of silent snuggling Loren noticed that during Harm's slow caresses her T-shirt had ridden up somewhat, unintentionally exposing her lower abdomen. She was curious as to how his touch would feel on the bare skin of her belly so she pulled the cloth higher up, right up under her breasts.

Harm stopped his motions when Loren moved, unsure of what she'd do, whether he'd done something wrong.

When he noticed she was pulling her T-shirt up he was at first hesitant of what to do, unaware of her intentions. Which became clear when she took his hand and slowly moved it downwards to her warm, naked skin.

Loren felt electricity shock her body as his hand touched her bare tummy, the muscles fluttering like butterflies.

Slowly he rubbed circles over the skin, still full of wonderment that she was really letting him feel it, feel the way it'd changed with the baby growing inside her. From what he knew of women they were embarrassed by these changes to their bodies and sometimes didn't even allow their lovers to see them naked because of it, because they now felt unattractive, but here she was, letting him see her in her transformed condition, even though he'd had no chance to see her in her prime, with her stunning figure, to have been able to make a previous positive imporession, before seeing her like this.

Speaking of the baby, she was obviously sleeping as she didn't react to her Daddy's touches.

Loren's abdomen was hard, he didn't know whether it was because of the slowly filling womb or because it was muscular. But still no kicking.

He stopped rubbing and Loren looked over her shoulder at him to find out why. She'd been enjoying it, his warm hand over her most vulnerable spot, it made her feel safe and protected.

She could clearly read the request in his eyes and she sighed, rolling her eyes playfully.

Turning on her back, she pushed down the covers with an impatient gesture and couldn't help an exasperated shake of her head as Harm immediately headed downwards.

He looked at her belly with awe, hardly being able to believe that there was really a baby, a human, growing inside. It was still only a smallish bump, small enough to be hidden beneath a uniform, but definitely no longer a flat stomach.

Her waist had thickened, slowly disappearing, and the former flat of her stomach was there no more, but it was still obvious that it had been a true work of art, thin waist, punctuated by the flare of her hips and a flat, muscular belly, beneath large-for-her-body-size-but-not-large-otherwise, full breasts. It was his first evidence of Loren's healthy way of life, exercise and healthy eating.

No greasy, full-of-fat and cholesterol-clogged hamburgers for this lady. Fish, eggs and once a week a form of cooked meat, never anything rare, much less still bloody. Otherwise Loren's diet consisted of what Mac had, back in the still good days of their relationship aka pre-flight duty, termed Rabbit Food.

Tenderly he ran his hand lightly over the masterpiece of life before him.

Then to his glee a small indentation appeared, accompanied by Loren's surprised gasp. The baby was awake and when he touched the skin before him, followed it with a kick to that exact spot.

This way _his _family,_his _child and it's mother, _his partner for life,_ and overwhelmed with emotions, unable to stop himself, Harm pressed a warm, gentle kiss to the skin before him, causing the muscles to flutter madly and Loren to emmit another gasp, this one deeper, huskier.

This was his child, no matter who had sired it this was his baby inside this amazing woman, and he loved it already. He couldn't believe how fast he'd gotten attached to these two people, it had been just a few days, the groundwork for this lifelong strong emotional bond having been laid down during that life-changing evening in the bar when he'd spent almost two hours bonding with Loren and the baby.

He was greeted once again with a small kick and with a laugh of joy he scooted up, taking Loren into his arms and gathered her to him closely, for a tight and long embrace. Loren never knew how close she came that second to being kissed senseless.

He was silent, trying to control the emotions that have robbed him of the power of speech.

He finally had it all, finally had everything he'd ever wished for and all because of this amazing woman who had taken a chance on him and let him into her life.

Pulling back slightly he looked down into her face, to see beautiful ice-blue eyes softened with tears caused by the emotions of the moment, and murmured huskily. "Thank you."

She knew what he meant and nodded back silently, both acknowledging his words and saying them back.

Then he tugged her to him again, feeling her arms tighten around him as well, and pressed their bodies close together, enjoying the feel of her against him. He buried his face into her fragrant hair, took a deep breath of the mixture of her shampoo and of _her_ and graced the crown of her head with a kiss.

They stayed like that for a while, being exactly what they were.

A family.

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	25. Chapter 25

After a long hiatus I'm back. Sorry, for the extremely and unfairly long wait, but College was a witch the last few weeks and I had a very long and even more boring paper to write and since proof-reading always takes me a whale of a time I didn't have the time to do it.

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Later that morning Harm requested audience with Admiral Chegwidden.

When he was finally seated before the man Harm was stumped.

He'd never had this kind of a talk with any of his COs before and so he had no clue how to go about it.

Which is why he decided the frontal assault was the best option.

"Sir, I think you have the right to know what I found out recently."

At the man's raised eyebrows he continued.

"I talked to LT Singer and, only because it will affect this office and because it's the reason for some very big changes that have happened and will happen in the future, on duty and off duty, I think it's fair you know she revealed the identity of her baby's father to me."

"Oh?" the Admiral leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table with a very interested look on his face. "Well, don't keep me waiting, CDR, who is it?"

"It's Sergei." Harm sighed. "My brother, sir."

"Huh." was the response as the older man leaned back, trying to process the information and how it fit into the bigger picture. Off-handedly he commented. "So, the charges really were bogous, it wasn't even anyone in the service."

Harm knew he was talking about Loren's fraternization charges. "Yes, sir, they were." The Admiral could hear accusation, disappointment and rebuke in Harm's voice.

Harm was the only one to believe Loren innocent of her charges from the very beginning, even in his mind, and he'd felt betrayed that Mac and Chegwidden believed her guilty from the start, even though Loren had repeatedly said she was innocent. If they'd in their minds convicted Loren of the crime, even against her protest that she was innocent, so quickly and without thought, then that didn't bode well for the others who could end up being accused of something. Accused falsely and finding themselves without support and belief in them by the ones that should've been there for them... It filled Harm with worry, what if some day HE would wind up framed and these people who should believe in him, would believe he was guitly even though he would insist he was innocent... Or would even act they didn't care and let him rot in the cell alone, without even bothering to visit him, even after all he had selflessly done for them over the years.

The Admiral fell silent, just watching Harm and trying to figure out what the information of the baby's paternity meant for the man Harm was. Suddenly he got it and it was so obvious he wanted to call himself a moron for not having realized it earlier. Family had always been everything to Harm...

"You're not letting this go, are you?" at Harm's confused expression he explained "You won't be satisfied with just knowing who the father is. Now that you know it's your own brother's you won't just sit back and do nothing. You're going to be fully involved with the child's life aren't you? That also means you'll be fully involved in the LT's life which is why you're here." he concluded.

"Yes, sir." Harm was relieved he didn't need to go into any complicated or even embarrassing explanations. "That baby is my niece or nephew and I want to be as involved in it's life as possible. I told her exactly this a few days ago."

"Bet that went over well." smirked the other man with a knowing grin. Loren was well known for her self-sufficiency, independence, stubbornness and pigheadedness.

Harm shook his head, chuckling ruefully. "It went over like a rock in water. The LT was... not entirely enthusiastic over the prospect. More like 'less than enthusiastic'. She turned me down flat and left for home."

"But something's obviously changed."

Harm nodded. "Yes, sir. It did. I received a phone call yesterday from her, asking me if I could come to her apartment. After having some time to herself she seems to have realized that my proposition was not that bad and that she wants, perhaps even needs, help during her pregnancy and later on with the baby. She admitted to feeling terrified of everything, of the pregnancy and of being a single mother and she doesn't want to do it alone. Any of it."

"Quite understandable. Pregnancy and motherhood are big, life changing events and normally women don't go through them completely alone, they at least have their family around them if not a life partner and/or the father of the baby. The LT had no-one. It's pretty understandable that she would be scared of doing it all completely by herself. So, she took you up on your suggestion, whatever it was... Okay, what exactly does that mean?"

Harm inhaled deeply and prepared to drop the bomb. Until now the Admiral had been understanding and sympathetic, but who knew how he'd take this piece of news. Until now it had been pretty much innocent, Harm having only a minor, sideline, role in the whole thing, but now he was right in the middle of it and in a situation with Loren that screamed about deeper personal involvement. "We're moving in together and are gonna raise the baby together, sir."

There was a silence for a couple of minutes, but Harm was sure the rapid beating of his heart could be heard clearly. Finally the JAG spoke.

"This is why you're here..."

"Yes, sir. Loren and I know the frat regs top to bottom and we know it's the couple's commanding officer who has the final word and who decides whether to allow them to be together or court martial them. Not that we're a couple, sir, we're not in a romantic relationship, but we are together in the sense that we want to raise a baby together. It's a full commitment, a commitment for a lifetime, and not some fling or a relationship that in the end won't work. We're fully committed to this, to the baby and to each other and we'll make it work. There's no other option."

"You know how this will look to an uninformed observer, don't you?"

Harm's heart beat slowed down with relief. The way the Admiral had phrased the question sounded like he had already given them his permission. "Yes, sir, we know. They'll assume it's my baby she's carrying. I personally don't have a problem with it, so I'm asking you not to discourage that perception, as long as it doesn't negatively affect our careers or our private life. We don't want any trouble with anyone, we just want to live in peace and have our small island of happiness. That's why I came to you."

"What exactly do you want of me, Mr Rabb?" the Admiral said, sighing heavily and pinching his nose. He could already feel the headache coming.

"A way, sir, for Loren and I to make it work without being courts-martialled or face any kind of punishment. It's the CO's decision what to do anyway. I'll take any transfer except one that would take me away from DC and from Loren and the baby."

"Does the LT know you're here?"

Harm nodded. "Yes, sir."

Chegwidden nodded and pressed the intercom. "Tiner, get me CDR Rabb's and LT Singer's personnel files."

_"_Aye, sir_."_ the confusion in Tiner's voice was evident. Chegwidden nodded and closed the link.

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Reviews would be greatly appreciated (but flames not, so don't bother. Those idiots who will still flame will be blocked and their reviews erased.)


	26. Chapter 26

Loved the reviews, please keep them up!

**Lucy:** Thanks! I'm glad you've come to like this pairing, I was also suddenly ambushed by it when I first read Yvonne's "One day" and later Nicole's "The Unlikely" series. It's addictive.

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_**IMPORTANT**_: I would just like to take this chance and sincerely thank the support team of this fantastic website for fixing the drop-down-character-list for this show by changing "Coates, A." to it's rightful "Coates, J." and especially for putting in Loren as "Singer, L.". It's been sorely needed. I've already updated my fics and all H&S fic on this site can be now found by just putting them both in the menus. Thank you, ff. net support, you're doing an amazing job with this site and this just made it better.

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"Then you can tell her she has nothing to worry about. I'm gonna put a signed permission into your permanent files so no-one will be able to cause trouble for you. I'm THE JAG and I'm the boss of every lawyer in the Navy and the Corps and of the entire judicial branch. My word is law and no-one will be able to do anything against it or cause trouble for you two. For now you can both remain at JAG, we'll make any other arrangements as they become necessary, but as of now you'll no longer work the same cases any longer. I assume eventually, after the baby's here, you'll both want more stable assignments that would keep you at home and not send you all over the world all the time on a moment's notice, so you'll be able to commit yourself to your family?"

"Yes, sir. That would be great. Loren and I haven't talked about it yet, but I'm sure with the baby coming she'd like a more stable assignment if it wouldn't hurt her career."

The Admiral snorted, knowing full well about Loren's plans on becoming the first female JAG, even though Harm had been the only one she had confided in. It had namely always been pretty obvious that she intended to go all the way up. "Yes, kids do force you to change your life, make new plans, adapt the old ones and re-prioritize everything. You're in for the ride of a lifetime, CDR." he remarked with a touch of sadness at his own lost opportunity.

"Yes, sir, life with Loren will sure be interesting." Harm smirked.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that, I meant fatherhood. As for life with the LT... that will be an even wilder ride, especially since she's pregnant." he snorted in amusement. "But remember one thing, CDR: the Lieutentant has given you a priceless gift, one you should cherish and hold on to with everything in you for the rest of your life, because no matter how wild and no matter how hard a ride it is, family can also be THE most satisfying and fulfilling ride out there. Sure, a successful career is great, but it doesn't keep you warm at night, it doesn't give you love nor is there with you when you're old, gray and lonely. And bitter. Family does all that and, after all, isn't family the reason why we're all here, serving in the military? Sure, the military was created thousands of years ago by the powerful and rich to protect them and make them even more powerful and rich, this still remaining the same, and others are in it for the thrill, some just so they can kill people and others for the stable jobs and the medical plan, but quite a few of those who serve, serve to protect our own families and not to protect those who have everything already and who make sure their own sons don't have to risk their lives, by keeping them safe somewhere, like the National Guard during 'Nam. So, Mr Rabb, don't let go of this wonderful gift that's been given to you and don't do anything to screw it up, you'll never get anything as amazing as this again and you'll regret screwing it up for the rest of your life."

Harm was truly touched by the Admiral's words. The older man's words struck a chord in his heart, knowing that the Admiral was speaking from personal experience about regrets, loneliness, having a successful career, but an empty and lonely life. A life Harm didn't want to live.

They were having one of their increasingly rare mentor-pupil/surrogate father-son moments and the father was giving his son advice for life, advice having learnt by making mistakes and coming to regret them.

"Oh, while you're here, I received a notice yesterday that your quals will be up in two months. Tiner's already made all the arrangements for you to be TDY for those days."

Harm was surprised by the slight change of topic, but he had to admit it made sense to talk about that. It also gave him the opportunity to go on something he'd decided. "Thank you, sir, but I'm going to give my quals a pass."

"Oh?" well, that was certainly a surprise and the Admiral looked at Harm with a baffled expression.

"I figure, I proved everything I had to prove, to myself, to my father and to everyone else; it's time to let the young kids take over. I'm getting too old for flying fighters anyway, especially now that Tomcats have been retired and the Bug has taken over. I'm also not the adrenalin junkie I once was anymore. Besides I still got my biplane. Most of all, I've got too much to lose now and I also don't want Loren and the baby to have to go through what my mother and my grandmother had to go through. It's time for the Rabb curse to end and, if I'm lucky, the baby won't go into flying, or the military, sparing me the worry and the fear of the phone ringing, and will find itself some nice, safe, nicely paying civilian job, won't waste as much of it's life as I did and won't wait with having a family as long as I did."

The Admiral nodded approvingly. "Smart words, Commander. Let's hope one day the military won't be needed anymore. However you forgot something: had you not waited with starting a family you wouldn't be having this one now, with this woman."

"I don't know, sir. I may be growing really soft as I get older, or it's the influence this new family is having on me, but perhaps it's meant to be and would've happened regardless, but it would've been my baby she was pregnant with and not Sergei's. Perhaps I would've met her at the right time in the right place or perhaps I should've just asked her out when she got assigned here." mused Harm.

"Perhaps it really is meant to be, CDR, who knows." replied the older man.

"You know, sir, I still find it slightly unbelievable and sur-realistic the idea that Loren is the woman who I was meant to be with, but it seems like it's true. Had I not known her slightly better than anyone else she would namely be the last woman I could ever imagine myself with. The image she projects at work and around other people is definitely not someone I could like and yet I find myself growing fonder of her and she's slowly becoming an integral part of my life, a part I would be missing terribly if it would disappear one day. And that the woman who's always seemed to represent the complete opposite of what I strive for..." Harm mused.

"As much as I don't like the LT's tactics I have to admit that there is obviously a good person, an amazing treasure hidden beneath that indifferent mask, we've all seen glimpses of it occasionally, and you just have to be patient to get to it, I guess." replied the Admiral "The signs are there and there have been a few occasions when she let her soft side out and selflessly helped other people. There is obviously more to her than meets the eye, you just have to be patient."

Harm was astounded by the Admiral for having taken the time to think about this and not just having dismissed Loren as just another power-hungry shark as others had. "Yes, sir, she is an amazing woman once you get to know her and if she lets down the walls. I'm barely scratching the surface now, but it's already quite promising."

"There is also one more good thing to all this. Promotions boards LOVE married, settled down officers, it shows they are mature, responsible, cautious, stable, not prone to doing something reckless and they think carefully before making any important decisions, which is one thing marriage and family teaches you. And you're gonna be up for promotion in about 2 years." imparted the older man wisely, looking into Harm's eyes meaningfully.

Marriage? When had they started talking about marriage?

"Sir, I..."

But the JAG interrupted him. "I have full confidence in you to do the right, the best thing for all 3 of you, CDR."

Before Harm could say anything more he was cut off by the Admiral's "Dismissed!" and had to leave the office, more confused than when he'd entered it.

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	27. Chapter 27

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That afternoon after work they started moving Loren into his, now their, apartment.

The first day they could only manage to move her most needed necessities, her underwear, uniforms, toiletries, bath-stuff, footwear, a few casual clothes, etc. and clean out her fridge, throwing the spoilt things away and taking her favorites with her.

Since Harm didn't allow her to lift anything heavier than one pound Loren was delegated to sorting out what she wanted and packing up clothes and lighter stuff for transport.

She was feeling particularly cheerful and playful today and had almost mischeviously set Harm up by asking him to pack a specific drawer. Incidentally the one where she kept her underwear. His face upon seeing what was there would've been a Kodak moment material. In the end she stopped herself from saying it. Endorphins from moving and not having to go through pregnancy and motherhood alone or no endorphins, he was being so great that he was taking her in and had bound his life to hers for life that she couldn't do that to him. Perhaps in a few months...

They'd decided to start packing the bigger stuff the next day and would be storing what they wouldn't put into their apartment, into Harm's garage and into the basement.

Stepping into her bedroom Harm mentioned. "I'll start carrying your uniforms down to the car. Where do you have the garment bags?"

Loren nodded in the direction. "They're on the bottom of the same closet. I'll just start packing other clothes."

Harm nodded and headed over to the indicated closet and opened it to reveal several white and several navy blue uniforms, everything from summer whites, summer khakis, winter blues, mess dress, dress whites,...

The garment bags were right where she'd said they were and Harm carefully and meticulously packed each uniform, together with it's hanger.

Soon he was finished and gathered them together, heading out the door. Stepping into the corridor he saw the neighbor's door cracked open and a face behind it, peering outside. "Ma'am." he acknowledged the woman spying on him and Loren. The door quickly shut in response.

Shaking his head at the weirdness of some people Harm took the stairwell and, upon reaching his Lexus, put the clothes on the back seat so they wouldn't crease. Above him a curtain moved aside and an older woman's face peered down on him.

Upon returning to the apartment he again saw the neighbor spying, but this time acted as if he hadn't noticed. Let the weirdoes have their little jollies, as long as they don't harm or endanger anyone.

While Harm was out of the room Loren had taken the opportunity to pack some of her more... er... intimate apparel.

Taking the suitcase out of the closet she opened it and set it on her bed even though it wasn't clean on the outside. She wouldn't be sleeping in that bed again for the rest of her life, so she didn't care if the sheets got dirty. She would even have to decide what to do with the linen, as they couldn't use it on Harm's bed. It was just too big. Pulling the correct drawer open she started packing her suitcase.

Loren was normally a very economical person, splurged only rarely and that mostly on sales. She was living on a Lieutenant's pay by herself in a very expensive city, so she had to be careful how she spent her money. With married couples one paycheck usually goes for expenses, leaving the other free for other things. Since she'd lived alone she hadn't had that luxury.

The other area where she liked to splurge was underwear.

She wasn't into racy stuff, okay she had a couple of those, but mostly she had nice lacy silky stuff. White, cream, blue and similar were her shades of choice, with a few black and red pieces.

This expensive underwear was for her own pleasure, not for men to see and take off of her.

Even though she was a shark in the courtroom and an incredibly ambitious officer she was also a moral woman when it came to sex and matters of the heart.

She didn't sleep around, one night stands or casual sexual relationships were not her style. These couplings are too empty, too irresponsible and, if engaged in serially and frequently, showed a lack of character or were to her a proof or an immoral, shallow person. Never having seen anything she liked in such affairs she stayed away from them. She gave her body to a man only in a committed relationship which was intended to last and had feelings involved. The only time she'd had a one night stand had been with Sergei and with him she had truly believed she'd had feelings for him. The irony was, that the only time she'd had a one night stand she was also paying heavy consequences, by having gotten pregnant.

She hadn't been a virgin until Sergei, but had had a couple of serious relationships, which had unfortunately failed when she'd found her man in bed with another woman and few others where her partners had turned out too immature or just not right for her.

She'd had to work extremely hard to get out of the social bottom where her parents had landed the entire family in due to their alcoholism and thus irrational spending of money and losing their jobs because of the booze.

She'd gotten where she was now on her own merit only, not through connections, not through favors, or holes in the system, much less by sleeping her way through and to anything.

The more erotic pieces of the collection she owned were for her own pleasure only and weren't meant to be seen or taken off by a man. Unless she'd somehow get lucky and found a great guy. But now it was impossible since she'd committed herself to Harm for life, having practically married him. Suddenly her inner voice reminded her that Harm was a great guy, one of the best, one of the dying breed of the best men and she had him now for life. Apart from wedding rings, marriage certificate and same last name they were now practically married. Why couldn't he be the one to see and take these nice, expensive, pieces of silk off her body, before making love to her?

She shook her head viciously, berating herself for the thought. How the hell had the thought even come to life in the first place? She didn't see Harm that way and he felt the same way about her, they were just together for the baby, nothing else.

Picking up a beautiful ice-blue bra, the color of her eyes, made of silk and with demi cups, which left her entire breasts from nipples upward exposed, she couldn't help but imagine Harm's reaction if he saw her in this. Poor man would probably have a heart attack. Especially if he saw the panties that came with the bra... high cut, showing off her legs in a really nice way.

The reason she owned expensive and seductive underwear was that because of the very unflattering uniforms she needed something underneath to make her feel like a woman and this was the only way. She wore sexy underwear under her uniform to work every day to not lose her femininity. That was as far as she was willing to go, not daring to dare the regs and luck with something like those extremely anti-regulation high heeled pumps, called "fuck-me heels", that LtCol MacKenzie so loved to wear to work. Loren wanted to be taken seriously by her peers, superiors, judges, etc, didn't want to get up the ladder by using her body and definitely didn't want to get in trouble because of non-regulation footware.

She put the underwear set in her suitcase and continued packing. Finally having packed all of her underwear she reached the back of the drawer where her two bathing suits were stored.

With her busy job she didn't have many chances to go swimming to a lake or the ocean or even a swimming pool, even though she loved swimming, so she owned just two for those rare occasions.

One was a black one-piece she'd bought years ago when she'd wanted to start training swimming, but had had to give up when it'd turned out her body wasn't streamline enough - her breasts were too big for her petite stature and presented too much of a water drag, slowing her down. This was the only time she'd gotten miffed over their size. The other bathing suit was a little black bikini, which had always gotten her a lot of attention. Unfortunately from men who's only goal in life was to bed as many women as possible, the kind of men that digusted her.

Hearing the front door opening she quickly stuffed the bikini into the suitcase and started packing her hoses, thigh highs, socks, T-shirts and the like.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she'd managed to hide her underwear under other clothes just in time for Harm to enter the room again.

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	28. Chapter 28

Loved the reviews, keep them up.

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Seeing she wasn't finished yet he grabbed one of the carton boxes they'd brought with them.

She could hear Harm open a door, but then nothing. When after a few more seconds there was no movement she turned around and saw him frozen in place.

"Harm?" she moved to him to see what was going on when she saw it. "Oh."

"Loren? What's this?" he asked with a shocked voice and gestured to the closet's contents.

She felt herself blush and cursed her pale skin. "Um."

Slowly Harm turned to her. "These are..."

"Yeah, I.. uh..."

"There's at least a hundred handbags and purses in here." he was still awe-struck.

Loren blushed harder and looked down to hide her red-hot cheeks. Harm had just discovered her guilty pleasure.

"Not hundred. 62."

He closed the closet and turned around, dazed. "Wow."

Loren could feel her cheeks burning and again cursed her pale complexion. It always gave away any embarrassement or anger she was feeling, which was especially annoying when she was trying to hide her emotions.

Harm, still in a daze, stepped away from the closet stuttering. "I... ah... I don't think you need all these right away, so today we better concentrate on the important stuff only. You keep on packing here while I go tackle the kitchen. Do you have special particulars you want me to pack?"

She waved her hand in negative, relieved for the change of subject. Everyone has their own little quirks and passions, but after having to hide the real Loren from everyone for so long she was still unaccustomed to revealing that much of herself.

Still, she knew she would have to get used to it, after all they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. And they _would _stay together for the rest of their lives, even after the baby would leave and make it's own life, for it was something she had asked Harm about. She would take only a life-long arrangement with Harm, one that was not based solely on the baby, because that way she would've ended up alone as soon as the baby would've left for College and didn't need them to be together anymore. She didn't want to suddenly become single, alone and lonely at 50-something and she'd needed to find out just how did he envision their deal.

After she'd gotten herself together and they'd left the bathroom, the day she'd called Harm and accepted his offer, she had asked him specifically about it.

She was a lawyer after all and thus it was in her nature to demand specifics and the fine print of deals. Especially of deals that would have such a huge impact on her life.

His answer to her question for how long they would be together had settled the last of her worry and doubt.

_FLASHBACK_

_Harm looked at her with serious eyes, understanding the weight of the question and especially why she needed to know. "This is a 'forever' deal, Loren. This isn't just for the time until the child leaves our home and then we would go apart. No, this is for the rest of our lives. Just as you, I don't want to suddenly become single and alone, lonely, at 60 after at least 18 years of being a part of a family. If you're really serious about this, then know that you won't ever get rid of me and you won't lose me to anything or anyone if I have anything to say about it. If you still accept my, erm, proposal of sorts, then this is a lifetime commitment, not just to the baby and for the baby, but also to each other and for the other. We won't be together just because of the baby, but we'll be together because of each other as well. To me this will be like marriage and I will be completely devoted to you and the baby."_

_END FLASHBACK_

And what else could one lonely woman, craving stability, friendship, love and the ideal family, say to that but 'yes'?

Loren hadn't needed to think about her decision, because she'd made her choice immediately upon hearing how Harm viewed this arrangement and that he would be faithful to her just as if she was his wife and would never abandon her or their baby. She herself needed the stability of a longterm committed relationship.

She was also fully aware she'd never again in her life get a better offer from a better man and as an expectant mother her baby's best interests came first. And she was one of the few extraordinarily lucky parents in the way that the best father for her child was also the best possible life-partner for her.

And if to attain this security and happiness for her child and herself meant she had to get used to being more open and forthcoming then that was a truly small price to pay.

Even if it was about the number of handbags and purses she owned.

Quickly pulling up the mental list of her dishes and pans and other stuff she realized she didn't have any preferences. She didn't posses any family-heirloom china or anything sentimentally valuable enough to stick out. The decision was easy. "I have no special requests. Just take what you think we still need and we'll either put the rest in storage or sell it. Or even donate it."

Neither of them could hide the effect her casual use of 'we' had on them and they avoided each other's eyes in order to keep their delight over being a part of a lifeterm couple hidden.

"Okay." Harm nodded obediently and, turning on his heel, left the room. Soon the sounds of kitchen implements being sorted were heard.

After a small thoughtful sigh Loren checked her suitcase to see if she had all she needed and then headed for the bathroom.

There she gathered together her toiletries, shampoo, conditioners, bubble bath, perfumes,... everything she'd need and then put it all in the cosmetics case, which she would carry down to the car herself.

When she was done she called Harm, who answered the call quickly. "Can you take the suitcase to the car while I sort the dishes, please?"

He nodded and grabbed the luggage, then headed for the door.

As soon as he disappeared through the portal, Loren got to the business of packing up dishes.

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	29. Chapter 29

When he came back she already had a box ready for him to carry down to the car.

Obediently, knowing full well that his only true value here was the strength of his muscles, he grabbed it and headed back down.

Once they'd packed all they could take that day Loren stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around with slight sadness.

This apartment had been her home for over 3 years, her only refuge.

Though she knew she was making a good change in her life, was moving on to something more, something better, fuller, she still felt a slight tug on her heart strings at the thought that she'd given up her independence.

She'd been self-sufficient for so long, having only herself to consider when making decisions, and she knew there would be a lot of adjustment needed for this new great adventure she was embarking on.

But when her gaze drifted down to her slightly swollen stomach she realized that she'd already lost her independence months ago. Even had she not taken Harm's offer she still wouldn't have it, because all of her decisions from now would have to be made in her child's best interests. And she realized that it was actually better that she was no longer independent, for she didn't have to rely solely on herself for everything anymore.

She no longer had to carry the entire burden by herself, would no longer have to make all the decisions, take all the risks and the responsibility.

Now she had someone to share it with, the good and the bad, someone to come home to every evening, to cuddle up on the couch with, hug when she was feeling down, laugh with when she was feeling up, talk to about everything and nothing, do things together, and just spend quiet evenings together. Her slim, tired shoulders already felt lighter with the loss of the load that now rested on Harm's broad, strong ones.

Seeing how they'd ended up together in the end after all, together forever, Loren rued the fact that she hadn't snapped him up immediately after getting transferred to the HQ. Had she known then how things would turn out, she would've. So much pain, so much heartache, so much agony, fears, danger and regret would've been avoided.

Neither of them wouldn't have been hurt by other people, he wouldn't have hurt due to Mac, she wouldn't have hurt due to Mark, the jerk of a serial Santa, he wouldn't have had to eject over a storm-ridden ice cold Atlantic and almost die, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant by the wrong man,... So much could've been avoided.

This would've been their second or even third child they'd be having and again Loren felt a brief stab of sadness for him that his firstborn wouldn't be his completely. Seeing as how they'd committed themselves to each other and to the baby she wished for the child she was carrying to be truly his.

Even though they weren't in love Loren still felt an overwhelmingly strong feeling of belonging to him, with him.

Suddenly she felt him enter the room before she heard him, he was moving silently, not wanting to intrude on her nostalgic moment, yet wanting to be there for her in case she'd need him.

She cherished that and it meant more to her than any word possible.

She'd learned that about Harm. When it came to feelings, to support, friendship, caring, he was not a man of words, he was a man of actions.

Even though he was a lawyer and the best one in the armed forces at that, when it came to personal stuff his talent disappeared and revealed a shy man, a man who did not really know how to express his feelings verbally. Some might call him "emotionally unintelligent" or "emotionally immature", but he was not. He was aware of his emotions and he was able to share them, he just couldn't express them with words.

And he gave the best hugs Loren had ever known.

The best part of it all was that he knew just when she needed to be held, when she needed space, when she needed to talk and when she just needed someone to take her mind off of her problems by going on about meaningless trivia.

The sight of the now abandoned, yet still full with furniture, space made her shiver and feel alone. Seconds later strong arms wound around her from behind, hands linking with hers on her belly, and drawing her back into the warm, large body behind her.

Immediately warmth suffused her, an emotional and physical warmth. Then a chin was settled on top of her head and the large male body wrapped itself even more securely around her, enveloping her in it.

"Believe it or not, I had the moment you're having just earlier today in my own apartment." she'd felt the words rumble from deep in his chest and through her own body before she'd heard them. "It's okay to feel sad. A chapter of our lives is closing and another is opening, it's normal we feel a bit nostalgic, even if that old chapter wasn't a nice one. Neither of us has ever lived with someone else and neither of us has ever started our own family with anyone. It's natural we're a little scared of the change. But we have to look forward, to the times still coming and I firmly believe they will be much better than anything in the past. In fact, I _know_ the years, the decades, yet to come will be the best of our lives. Because, no matter what hardships we'll have to go through, we won't be alone, we'll go through them together, side by side forever, we'll be there for each other and last, but not least, we'll have each other and our baby, we'll have our family."

His words brought on the now familiar prickling sensation in her eyes and this time she didn't fight it. Turning in his arms, she buried her face in his strong chest and let a few tears of overwhelming emotions slip. He didn't say anything, just held her in his arms and rocked her gently.

After a minute he pulled away just enough to raise her chin with his finger. Looking into her eyes he asked seriously, the question having a wealth of different meanings to it. "Are you ready?"

Loren pulled back, ignoring the protest of her body against losing his warmth, while his arms suddenly felt empty, and squared her shoulders. Then, with a look with which she'd faced every important change and challenge in her life, she nodded. "I'm ready."

She took Harm's outstretched hand and bravely stepped into her new life.

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	30. Chapter 30

You didn't honestly think I've forgotten about them, huh? Someone had asked for me to write about what happened to them, so here it is.

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The trip back _home_, _their_ home, was silent, the air contemplative.

Loren had a lot on her mind and Harm didn't interrupt her musings out of respect and caring for her.

When they arrived to their building Loren moved to grab a case, but Harm stopped her quickly, not being willing to let her carry anything heavy. She glared irritatedly at him for his overprotective bearing, ready to argue her point, but subsided when Harm shot a meaningful look at her swollen middle.

That shut her up quite effectively since she knew he was right, but still she didn't like it.

Huffing indignantly she took the garment bags he handed over, turned and strode over to the entrance of the building letting herself in with her key. On the inside she was still trying to process the fact that she had the key to Harmon Rabb's apartment, this being so unfathomable since the last man she'd ever expected to get together for life with. Even more, it wasn't just Harmon Rabb's apartment anymore, it was hers as well, it was _their_ apartment.

Harm watched her storm away amused.

A scene from a sci-fi show Farscape Bud loved to watch and had once convinced Harm to give it a chance came back to him. After having watched the show once he'd had to admit the acting had been top notch, just as the scripts, the special effects and everything else. It had pained him to admit to it, but he'd really loved the show. The finale, Peace Keeper Wars, had in his opinion been a true masterpiece.

Anyway, in that episode the male lead called after his lady love, when she stormed away throwing a temper tantrum. "_Aeryn, do not walk away. Much as I love it when you walk away... Aeryn_!"

While watching Loren move away Harm had to admit, the view was nice. Very nice. She had a finely shaped derriere, so tight a quarter would bounce off, and even her pregnancy had not taken it away. But as much as he appreciated the sight (he was only a man after all) she was still storming away from him.

Yet he understood.

Normally he found it irritating when someone threw a tantrum, but here he had to admit Loren had the right to throw one. He knew he would've done it in her place. He had no idea what pregnancy was like, so he could only guess it meant changes of epic proportions even this early in. And now other people, okay let's be truthful here, _Harm_ was stopping her from doing things she'd done without problem or reservations just months ago. True, it was for her own good, and that of her child, but he was still in a way taking away some of her freedom, even though it was because he cared. Therefore Harm understood why she was angry at him and didn't hold it against her.

As he observed her walk he also noticed a subtle change from her previous graceful gait. It took him but a second before her realized the difference and he smiled when it dawned on him. She was already slightly waddling.

He found it very cute, but valued his life enough to resolve to not mention his discovery to Loren.

Grabbing the nearest box Harm headed for the building. Inside he had to chuckle when he realized the elevator was still on the apartment's floor.

Entering the apartment Harm sound found Loren in the bedroom, hanging up her uniforms. He took a minute to really appreciate the harmony in their closet, the way their uniforms complimented each other, same colours, same styles. Out of nowhere came the thought that Mac's uniforms would've clashed terribly with his, especially with those awful drab colours. He was taking this as a sign. A sign that he and Mac had never been meant to be and a sign that he and Loren were meant to be. It was his way of dealing with those annoying "what if" thoughts and he was sticking to it.

Putting down his load he headed back to the car.

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When she was looking for the drawers Harm'd cleared out for her Loren accidentally opened the one in which he held his underwear.

She was just about to close the drawer, after having made a mental note to later on confiscate one of his boxers for sleeping and lounging around in, when she spotted something black in the corner.

She looked closer and discovered a pair of panties and a bra, the stuff she'd thrown into his washing machine that Saturday. My god, it seemed like a millenium ago now.

Cautiously checking them she noticed they'd been washed.

'Awww, he washed my underwear.' she thought and tears began sliding down her pale cheeks. She couldn't help but be affected by this small gesture, which had her heart melting against her will. 'Damn hormones' she thought as she wiped the tears away 'I cry for every silly little thing now.'

Still, she had to admit this wasn't everything. The fact that Harm had washed her undies before she'd agreed to his idea was quite significant and in character for the man. Even though she'd rejected him he still cared for her and wanted to help her, even if it was by washing them.

But still... it seemed so intimate to have him wash them, handle them, touch them... She didn't know whether to feel disturbed or aroused by it.

It was something lovers did for each other, what married couples did. Right then she decided that was the wrong direction her thoughts were taking.

But what were they doing here? Okay, so he couldn't have just returned them to her in the middle of the bullpen, like Cary Grant had done in "I was a male war bride", but she could still have a little fun...

With a saucy smile she grabbed her underthings, which were admittedly pretty erotic with the lace and almost transparent crotch, and headed for the living room.

She stopped in the doorway and addressed Harm who was working on giving her space for her knick-nacks. He'd long since brought her stuff up. "Harm?"

"Yeah?" he asked, still with his back to her, concentrating on his task.

"Should I know something about you?" she grinned harder.

"Like what?"

"Are you into cross-dressing?"

"What!?" he whirled around startled by the question.

She whirled her bra and panties on her finger. "Because I found these in your drawer. Since when do you have female underwear in your drawer?"

He immediately recognized the underclothes and to Loren's immense satisfaction his ears reddened fiercely. "Since I'm living with a woman. I found those in my washing machine 2 weeks ago after I'd driven you back to your car. I couldn't have just given them to you in the middle of the bullpen, right?" he smiled mischeviously, unknowingly echoing Loren's earlier thoughts. "Imagine the rumors that would spring up if I were to do that..."

Loren grimaced. "You're right."

But Harm had turned the tables on her. "But perhaps I _could_ bring them to work and give them to you there..."

Her eyes widened and mouth fell open. "Don't you dare." threatened Loren when she regained her composure.

But Harm was too amused by now to take her seriously. Big mistake. "Or else what? What will you do?" then shut up, realizing only too late that he was now living with this woman, had committed himself to her for life, and she thus had many, many ways to get back at him, including banning him to the couch. His back sent a sympathetic jolt of pain at just the thought of sleeping there again.

There were times he should really think before speaking and now he was seriously dreading Loren's response which, if her growing evil smile was anything to go by, would be a doozy.

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	31. Chapter 31

Sorry, for this one being so short, but felt this was a very good line to end it with. It also gives it more impact. You'll see what I mean.

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

**Jeff:** hey, congrats to you and the Mrs, man! Looking forward to the update.

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Loren grinned evilly. "You remember that Saturday morning when you woke up with a small problem?"

Then, deciding that making him uncomfortable by expressing honest female appreciation of his body was preferrable to making a dig at the area every man is touchy about, she ammended her question

"I mean, BIG problem?" she deliberately licked her lips, knowing it would revive his problem, and grinned wickedly when she saw him shift.

"Yeah?" Harm was red from embarrassement, still remembering how humiliated he'd been. He could distinctly remember feeling someone rubbing against his crotch as he was waking up, so he gathered Loren wasn't faking her appreciation. He'd never thought he'd be embarrassed of having a large body, but here he was.

"If you think I was a tease then, I can assure you it can't compare to how I'll be if you do that." she tapped her finger on her chin thoughtfully and Harm eyed her warily. "I really have to wonder how you'd deal with your... ahem... problem at work." she cut her eyes towards the mentioned part of his anatomy tellingly and Harm's eyes widened at the implication of what she'd do. "Especially if I'd take care to insure things stay on the 'up and up' and would be running interference to prevent you from taking things into your own hands." she grinned at the puns and the smile widened even further when she saw Harm's horrified expression. "How long would it take for you to start regretting having done that and beg me to stop your suffering? Or perhaps I would even taken care of it personally if you'd be remorseful enough... I think you would like that."

Alarms were beginning to go off in her head, she was entering forbidden territory without a flak jacket. They weren't lovers, have already had one example of how sexual tension can rise between them when they let it, and thus talking about sex, much less imply she'd service him like _that_, was at best unwise and at worst stupid.

But it was just so much fun teasing him!

And she hadn't had a chance to just relax and kid around for so long that she couldn't even remember when the last time had been. The last few years of her life, more than a decade, had been completely focused on her career and then a couple of months ago her life had been turned completely upside down.

And definitely not in a good way.

Just a few weeks ago her future had been looking dark, grim and terrifying, but now because of this amazing man who had taken his brother's child as his own and committed himself to her and the baby, her future was looking decidedly bright and, most of all, happy and safe.

Only now that they were moving her into his apartment it was finally starting to sink in that it was really happening, they were really going to do this together, that she'd never again be alone or have to bear her fears by herself, because of which she was feeling very giddy.

And giddiness sometimes made her feel intoxicated, out of control of her own tongue and thoughts.

Harm, on the other hand, was struggling to reconcile the words spoken with the person who'd spoken them. But then looking at Loren's evil grin he sighed in relief, she was just teasing him.

He'd learned long ago that when she let her guard down enough Loren could have a very wicked sense of humor. However he'd never been blind, much less immune, to the fact that Loren Singer was a very attractive woman. He'd only been hung up on Mac and not dead. Loren had always been beautiful, a fact, and she was still.

Proof of his body finding her as attractive as his brain did was the afore-mentioned incident of 2 weeks ago. He could blame it on not having held a woman close to his body in 2 years, but the truth was the reason had been Loren. Still, he'd never reacted to her this way.

Okay, so he'd never before held her close to his body, much less woken up with her in the same bed (wouldn't Mac finding them like that be an interesting situation?), but he'd never been attracted to pregnant women. He'd never tried to figure out why, because he'd never wanted to be attractive to them because pregnancy meant there was an important man in that woman's life and Harm had _never _been one to poach on another guy's territory.

Which is also the reason why he'd stayed away from Mac while she'd been with Dalton and Brumby, no matter how much she'd tried to get him to act, either by trying to make him jealous or flash that damn ring in his face. She was with someone else then, by her own choice, and he'd never go against the unwritten codex that regulates relations and interactions between men. Between honorable men.

Now he was moving on, letting go of Mac, giving himself the chance for happiness. He'd never begrudged Mac happiness or wanted/tried to prevent her from finding it with another man. No matter how hurt he was with her choosing another man over him he'd never said anything against any of her choices, even though they'd been so obviously wrong even a blind person had been able to see it, much less had tried to break her up with that man.

The only person whom he'd prevented being happy was himself.

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	32. Chapter 32

Just to reassure everyone, this fic isn't over by a longshot.

Also, Jen is at this time still on the Seahawk and Mattie will not play a role here. Contrary to the show, Mattie's mother won't die, her dad won't become a drunk, etc. Harm will also stay with the Navy, there won't be a Paraguay for him, so he won't resign, so he won't meet Mattie and so on. 

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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With the realization she'd just been teasing him and had not meant anything serious, they'd gone back to what they'd been doing with no thought to her words. It had been only a joke anyway.

When he entered the bathroom an hour later Harm was welcomed by a most unexpected sight. His apartment had until now never seen a woman's touch, no woman had ever lived here with him, not even Renee. The women he'd been involved with had only spent the night there and thus not enough time to have had the opportunity to add the feminine touch to the abode.

So it was quite understandable that he was completely unaccustomed and therefore caught off guard by the sight of the multitude of small plastic and glass bottles, lining his counters and cabinet. There was everything from women shampoos, to conditioners, perfumes,...

It was plainly obvious to anyone a woman was now, finally, for the first time ever, living in this apartment. The building had once been a warehouse and thus no-one had lived there. Immediately upon renovation into an apartment building this living space had been bought by Harm, who had had to turn into in an apartment himself, and thus no woman had truly ever lived there. Which is why Loren was the first ever and the first to live there with Harm. He wasn't sure if he should tell her that, because it might make her head swell.

The knowledge that he was from now on living with a woman was further battered in when he opened the cabinet and found her pink razor laying next to his shaving kit and her toothbrush next to his in the same glass.

There were perfume bottles lined up among his Old Spice Lagoon deo-stick and aftersha... Hold on!

Something wasn't right with the picture.

He stepped closer, examining the details, when he figured it out.

"Loren!" he called puzzled and headed out of the room. He found her in the living room. "Loren."

"Yeah?" she looked up from decorating the couch with some throw pillows and an afghan over the back of it.

"Loren, where is _my _aftershave and why is in it's place one with neutral-scent written on the label?" he crossed his arms over his chest.

Loren straightened up. "I removed it and put that one in it's place for you to use."

"I know that. What I want to know is 'why'?"

She crossed her own arms under her breasts, which pushed them upwards distracting Harm, and lifted her chin defiantly. "The smell bothers me now, it makes me nauseous. So I bought a special one at the drug store, one that's without a scent. Use that one instead."

He mulled that over. Even though her method had been wrong, she was still right. If it bothered her that much she was well in the right to do something about it. While Harm thought about it, Loren was standing there, anxious of his reaction.

The tension suddenly evaporated when Harm shook his head and chuckled. He couldn't seriously expect her to change completely and that even over night, right?

Anyway, that was so much like Loren. To do something, completely convinced in it being the right thing and then stand behind it 100 percent. She hadn't looked even the slightest bit apologetic or guilty. She knew she'd been right, but he also knew that, no matter how much it would hurt her pride, she would apologize if she was wrong. It was this strength of character and conviction that had made Harm admire her years ago. She'd earned herself much respect and admiration in Harm's eyes the night she'd come to his office, told him she planned to be the first female JAG and then explained she hadn't been the one to place the folders in Mac's car. He'd believed her then and he still believed her now. And he believed her as well when she'd said that she wasn't a thief nor a liar.

He'd believed her mostly because she hadn't tried to convince him nor had she begged him to believe her. She'd said it matter of factly and not in any kind of persuading way. The other reason why he'd believed her was because lying and stealing are sure ways of destroying your own career and Loren wanted just the opposite.

With her blunt and honest straightforwardness she had in just under a minute earned herself more respect for her than she'd ever know. 

Harm'd once heard a description on the television, a description that fit Loren to the T. 

A man, in this case an English Lord, had in a TV-show called "The lost world" described a lady with following words: "A woman of fire and steel."

And Harm could not possibly find any better description of Loren than that.

"Okay." Harm conceded. "But, Loren, next time just tell me. I don't like surprises and I'm not an irrational person. If there's something bothering you, come to me and we'll work it out. We're gonna have to establish a really good communication between us to make this work."

Her face softened. "Okay, I will."

"Good." he nodded. "I'm gonna head on over and get the next load."

"Okay." she nodded, already deep into her work again.

Harm headed over to the door, looked back at her again and smiled briefly, then left the apartment.

When she was done with the couch she went into the bedroom, stripped down the bed and loaded the laundry into the machine, remaking the bed with the linens from the cabinet.

That done she started cleaning the apartment the best she could.

Loren recognized the fact that what she was doing was in fact nesting and making sure there was really no trace of another woman left in her nest (which was futile, since Harm hadn't been with someone in years and thus any trace had long since been removed), but for some reason didn't really care.

Harm had not only told her directly that he wanted them to live together to raise the baby, which she knew cause of the type of man Harm was meant a lifetime commitment, but he had also shown her he wanted her there, so she didn't have any fears he would be upset with her or anything like that.

She was just nesting, preparing a home for herself and her partner, making sure the nest would be ready for the baby.

When Harm came back an hour later he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the apartment. 

He could barely recognize it, so much had it been changed by Loren's little touches.

No longer did it look like a single man's dwelling, now it looked like a home. A home of a family. A family home.

And it was the first time since his father had been shot down that Harm felt true contentment.

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	33. Chapter 33

Has you heard the news of the new "Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill" that some segments want to push through in the british parliament?

I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that there are people who have no qualms about experimenting on live human-animal hybrids or the mere fact that animal-human hybrids actually EXIST. 

When I read the news I suddenly remembered what Hrushchev said in his last major interview. When he came into the room he collapsed completely shaken into a chair and said to the japanese journalist: "We must fear what is hiding in the folders of scientists." That was his last public interview, after that the party prevented him to give any more and soon cut him out.

Amazing just how prophetic his words were..

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Loved the reviews, please keep them up!

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"Sturgis?" Harm knocked on his friend's office door the next day. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course, buddy. Come on in." the other Commander put his pen down and leaned back in his seat. "What's up?"

"You doing anything after work?" 

Sturgis quickly mentally reviewed his schedule for today, all the while watching Harm curiously. "No, nothing for today. Varese is out of town..quot;

Harm smiled. "How's that coming anyway?"

The wide grin Sturgis was wearing said it all. "Very well, thanks."

"That's good, old man. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."

"So, can you come around my place at 1800? And wear something you won't be sorry about if you ruin it." 

"Sure, no problem. What's this all about anyway?" Sturgis was completely serious by now.

"I need help with some physical work. Won't take long. This is not the best place to talk about it..quot; Harm said meaningfully, meaningfully glancing through the blinds where several curious heads were turned towards them ".I'll tell you all about it tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Turner nodded and Harm got up, relieved.

"Thanks, buddy. See you there." he added as he walked towards the door and Sturgis nodded at Harm's back.

"No problem."

As the door closed behind Harm, Sturgis couldn't help but wonder what this was all about.

Physical work?

Harm was being awfully secretive. What was he hiding?

In the end he decided it didn't matter right then, he namely had a lot of paperwork to do.

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At 1800 sharp Sturgis was staring surprised at the large Uhaul truck parked in front of Harm's apartment building.

Already feeling sympathetic twinges from his back, shoulders and arms Sturgis surmissed Harm had moving in mind.

But why? Where? Who?

Catching sight of the man himself coming out of the building he resolved not to attack his friend with questions. Besides, he was a patient person, all would be revealed with time. But, most of all, he knew Harm would tell him when he'd be ready to. After knowing his friend for 20 years he knew that for certain.

Carrying a big smile Harm shook his hand. "Hey, man, thanks for coming."

Sturgis smiled back. "Anytime, buddy, you know that."

A retrospective look came into Harm's eyes and his words held 20 years of friendship. "Yeah. I know."

Then he shook off the severity of the moment and extended a hand towards the truck. "Ready?"

Sturgis smiled and climbed into the vehicle. "Let's haul ass, man."

Laughing at the pun Harm put the hauler in gear and pulled away.

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Stopping in front of a red brick apartment building Harm turned off the engine and got out. Sturgis followed him, looking around curiously. Didn't Mac live in a red-brick building? Was she moving in with Harm?

Harm said nothing as he let them into the building with a key, then led the way to the first floor. While they walked Sturgis took the time to asses the situation and sighed with relief. The stairwell was wide enough for them to carry even large pieces of furniture down with no problem. He'd seen the elevator and knew Harm had taken him by stairs to let him check it out himself.

Harm was procrastinating and he damn well knew it. Still, he couldn't help it. He was afraid of how his oldest friend would react.

Entering the apartment Sturgis was truthfully disapointed to find no-one inside. Though he'd still received a confirmation for at least part of his theory. This was obviously a woman's apartment. It was not as frilly as some, more neutral, but with still enough female touches to make it obvious. It was also the first time Sturgis was beginning to doubt it was Mac who was moving in with Harm.

It was the scent in there more than anything else. Mac wore specific, easily recognizable perfumes. They were always heady, spicy perfumes, the kind which makes a man breathe in deeply and his head spin with lust. Spicy, that's a good description of Mac and truly an appropriate scent for her. 

The perfume lingering in the air was different. It was not spicy and it was not floral, it was something else. Something the submariner couldn't pinpoint and something he was sure he'd smelled before, but could not remember.

Looking around the living room at the bare furniture he turned back to Harm. "This all going to your's?"

The pilot smiled, glad his friend was his usual quick self. It made Harm's job easier. "Only a small part of it. The rest goes into a storage unit nearby."

"Then let's get to work." Sturgis clapped his hands in the timeless gesture of wanting to do something, while Harm turned on a small portable stereo to provide them with background noise. Soon they were hard at work, dismantling the furniture and talking lively.

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	34. Chapter 34

Barbara B u s h, 18th March 2003 on ABC's Good Morning America, on casualties among US military personnel: "Why should we hear about body bags and deaths, and how many, what day it's gonna happen, and how many this or that or what do you suppose? Oh, I mean, _it's not relevant_. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"

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Several hours later, just before 2300 they finally pulled up outside of Harm's building again.

Getting out, Sturgis stretched his tired muscles. "Man, five years ago I would still be able to go play basketball after this. Now I feel every ache. We're getting old, buddy."

"Yeah, I know." Harm said as he joined him at the back of the vehicle, stretching also. "I've been getting aware of just how old we are for a while now."

"Which is why you've decided not to waste time with this woman you're with, right?" Sturgis inquired hesitantly. It was a delicate question, one which could be taken with an offence, so Sturgis hoped it wouldn't be.

"Yeah." Harm confirmed, not offended. He was well aware he'd wasted a lot of time _in _and _with _his past relationships. "I'll be 40 in October, Sturgis, and I had nothing to show for my entire life, until just recently. No wife, no kids,... Just a bunch of meaningless medals, coloured ribbons and an empty, lonely life."

Sturgis nodded in confirmation. "I've always known how much you wanted a family, ever since I've met you, decades before you got together with Annie because of the instant family factor. Maybe, you yourself weren't aware your old wish for family, namely your father returning, had morphed into a wish for a family you'd create with a woman yourself, but it was there nonetheless, so early on. Hell, everyone knew it, it's always been plainly obvious. It's one of the things which made Diane fall in love with you and stick with you for so long. You know we all believed for a long time you and Di would eventually get married and have a large family, 3 or 4 kids. You were both single kids and both wanted a large family. And you probably would've if Holbarth..." the words got stuck in his throat and he went quiet. Both men silently remembered the amazing young woman they'd known and loved, each in their own way.

Sturgis felt her loss just as much as Harm, though in a different manner, Harm as a man in love and Sturgis as a long-time friend. It had been Sturgis who had introduced the two future lovers to each other, as his and Diane's family had lived next door to each other for as long as he could remember.

"Did you tell her about Di?" Sturgis asked with a low voice, the pain still noticable. It was clear he meant Harm's significant other, the one who had moved in with Harm.

"Yeah. It would've been hard not to when she noticed Di's picture and assumed it was Mac, but was confused over the Navy uniform. She said it explained a lot about mine and Mac's relationship and why we never got together." Harm reminisced. It'd been 7 years and the loss was still fresh and the wound still open to some degree. Losing the woman you're in love with marks you for life and you never completely heal, much less forget her.

"It's strange, isn't it?" mused Sturgis.

"What is?"

"They were completely identical physically, but personality-wise they couldn't be different. They were as night and day. With Di being the day." he interjected and Harm chuckled. "No, really. Di has always been that bright, happy, warm, fun-loving girl you knew. Every since I've known her. She was open to everyone to come for help or advice to, I've met only a few people as compassionate as she in my life, everyone loved her, she literally exuded warmth and caring."

"And when she loved, she loved with a passion. You knew she loved you. I always knew she loved me, I never had any doubts about it." continued Harm, lost in the memories of the woman he'd loved, the first woman he'd considered a lifetime with, and of the love she'd given him so freely and generously. It had never been about sex with her, with them, their relationship wasn't one of mere lust or physical attraction, it had been been about unconditional, pure love. "She made no qualms about it, didn't try to hide it or run away from it. She faced it head-on, I've never known a stronger woman than she. Personality-wise she was like the sun on a cloudless sky." he finished, receiving an agreeing nod from his friend.

"And Mac is like a dark, ominous storm cloud." concluded Sturgis and Harm laughed. "No, seriously, even when she's trying to be open, and she _is _trying sometimes, you can tell she's still holding back, still reserved and unreachable. By now it's an automatic reaction, it's an integral part of her, she can't help it and she doesn't do it intentionally. Contrary to Diane, the junior staff, the ordinary Sea(wo)men and junior officers don't come to Mac with their problems, or fears, they don't come to her for advice or help, she just doesn't give off the warmth and caring Di did. She's more of a brooding type, closed-off and cold to everyone but Harriet, Bud and little AJ. It's only them she shows genuine, unguarded or unfaked affection. Even if she loves a man, she doesn't show it with her behaviour, it's as if she's uncomfortable with either the emotion or with showing it."

Harm remembered how awkward, uncomfortable and downright cold Mac sometimes behaved towards Brumby after he returned to the US, especially when the man showed her affection in public. Only when she was putting on an act for someone else, either for their friends or for Harm, she was openly affectionate, but Harm had never bought that act. There had always been a tightness around her eyes, in her mouth and in her posture that gave her away. Sturgis on the other hand, not having been there, had Mac's slip-up and her behaviour patterns towards Harm, Sturgis himself had carefully observed and analyzed, in mind.

"She's had a tough life, Sturgis, no-one to rely on but herself."

His friend looked at him like he was crazy. "That's complete rubbish and you know it, Harm. She's had nothing but support, friends and people who care about her for the past 7 years around her, ready to offer her support at any time. Hell, you yourself had stood by her through everything, even when she pushed you away. If after so long she still can't realize this fact then I feel sorry for her and for everyone who's tried to give support, friendship and caring to her and if 7 years aren't enough for her to get used to it, adapt and make herself sometimes take the offered help and support then she never will."

"Sturg, you're being way too hard on her, she's not like that."

Sturgis shook his head sadly. "Yes, she is, Harm, but you're too close and too involved into it to see it. And I hope you won't let it taint or ruin this new relationship of yours, because I can clearly see how happy it's making you. I'm glad you're finally getting what you've always wanted, man, if anyone deserves happines it's you. Just don't let what-ifs and past unrequited love destroy it." he cautioned, worry for his friend obvious in his voice.

Harm had waited so long for this and losing it because of what-ifs would be tragic. Sturgis knew Harm would never recover from the blow if that happened. To finally have what he'd spent his lifetime dreaming about, only to be taken away from him... The man's heart and ego were much more fragile than anyone else knew and every failed relationship had beaten him down into the ground more. This possible failure could be the one to deliver the final blows. What would be left after that would be only the broken shell of Harmon Rabb, Jr., drowning in despair, hopelessness and regrets. Death would be an act of mercy for Harm then.

"Thanks." smiled Harm. "So. Ready?" he asked changing the subject before anything could be revealed ahead of time and unwilling to discuss Mac and their relationship any further. He'd worked a long time on himself to finally be able to move on and now that he did, he didn't want to talk about the past anymore. He also didn't want to tell Sturgis who the woman was, he wanted the man to see it for himself. And secretly Harm wanted to see the expression on Sturgis' face when the other man realized who exactly it was that Harm wanted a family with.

Opening the hatch of the cargo compartment Sturgis inquired puzzled. "That's all she's taking from her old apartment?" Of everything they'd taken from Loren's apartment only a couch was still there. Everything else Loren had decided to put in storage.

"Nah. Everything I could dismantle and carry by myself I did yesterday. She wanted a few end tables, a coffee table, a few wardrobes and smaller closets, mine don't have enough room for both of us, and an armchair. Everything else, except for the couch, will either be sold or kept in storage."

By this time they'd taken it out of the truck and locked the vehicle up. Each grabbing one end they made their way inside the building. Yet again, for the hundredth time, was Harm happy his building had once been a warehouse. The elevator, though old and prone to malfunction, was a freight elevator and was thus big and strong enough to haul furniture. A trip UP the stairs, instead of down, carrying a couch would've been a torture considering how tired they both were by now.

The apartment's door unlocked and opened when they got to it, making both men sigh with relief. One less thing to bother with. But it revealed Loren had been keeping a look-out for them and the mere fact that there was someone was waiting for him at home sent a flood of warmth and happiness through Harm's body. It was something completely new, something he looked forward to each day for the rest of his life. It was great not being alone anymore.

Through the open portal smells of a delicious meal wafted, making both their stomachs grumble. Getting the sofa through the doorway was easy enough and they were both too busy navigating to the for-the-sofa-selected spot to look at who had let them inside the abode.

Thankfully they were already lowering it to the floor when Sturgis caught sight of the woman observing them. This way the couch fell only a short distance when they were released from his numb fingers.

"Lieutenant." Sturgis' voice broke in shock and Harm barely stiffled a laugh at Sturgis' expression. Yep, it had been definitely worth stalling for.

"Commander." Loren greeted pleasantly. "Thank you for your help, sir." she thanked, true sincerity coming off of her in waves. Which surprised Turner even more than her being there.

"Uhhh... No problem."

"I've got to check on dinner now." she said and moved away, unaware of Sturgis' baffled eyes following her.

Though she'd dressed more reservedly than usual at home, due to knowing Sturgis would come around, her clothes were still form-fitting, as everything else she owned except for her uniform, and thus couldn't hide the fact that she was pregnant. She'd debated with herself over this issue, but since she knew Sturgis already knew of her condition she'd decided on not hiding. But not even these clothes could hide just the right curves to her body the way her uniform could. For now. They'd be switching over to summer whites in a couple of weeks and then her secret would be out. Especially since she would have to get a maternity uniform.

Sturgis turned to face Harm, his face questioning.

"Let's sit down and I'll explain." Harm gestured.

"Okay, but tell me right now, are you her baby's father?"

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Will Harm take the opportunity to give the baby legitimacy and claim the baby as his, leading the world to believe he was the father, starting with his best friend? Or will he tell the truth? Or will he say that aliens had taken Loren and she's pregnant with an alien baby? (Don't you just love cliffies?)

Read and REVIEW to find out on the next episode of "One Normal Evening"!!

And I mean it,

REVIEW!


	35. Chapter 35

Wow, thanks for your kind reviews, you literally blew me away. Thank you all. Please continue reviewing, it means a lot to me.

I have to admit, it was a tough decision as to what Harm should tell Sturgis. I had Harm telling the truth already written, but became hesitant as you all had good arguments for every side (well, except for you, Jeff, we don't want Sturgis to have a stroke, right?). In the end I decided to let it be. I agree that _Harm_ is the baby's father, but Sturgis asked who the biological one is. Since Harm doesn't lie, I couldn't have him lie either.

Though I have to admit I'm still thinking of writing an alternate chapter for you all to decide which one you like best and which one will stand for you. Let me know in a review.

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Harm looked at Loren, who'd heard the question, for permission and received it in her gaze. Still, he hesitated. Should he tell the truth? Or should he say what was in his heart? In the end he decided to tell the truth, no matter how much he wanted to claim the baby as his. He knew Sturgis would never spill the secret, the man was as talkative as Lurch from the Adams Family. Besides, lying to his oldest friend would just feel too wrong.

"No." Harm shook his head. "Sergei is."

"Sergei?"

"Look, Sturgis, I'm not comfortable telling you about this, even with Loren's permission. So, that's the only thing I'm going to..."

"It's okay, Harm." interrupted suddenly a gentle voice, and Sturgis turned surprised eyes at it's owner, who was gazing tenderly at Harm.

Sturgis stared surprised at the caring and affection he saw in Loren's eyes, he'd never before thought her be capable of feeling, much less showing this kind of emotions. As everyone else he too had never seen through the armor and was now surprised at how different she was from the LT Singer he knew. But, obviously, Harm had seen AND broken through that armor to the woman inside. It didn't surprise him that it was Harm who'd done that in the least, since the man in question had always been great at seeing through people. Well, unless he was too emotionally involved. "It's my story to tell, after all. I shouldn't have put you in this position."

Harm nodded relieved and Loren sat down next to him, automatically cuddling into his large body as he put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her near, giving her strength. Sturgis observed them avidly. It occured to him that even though Harm wasn't the baby's biological father they were still it's parents, together. They acted like a normal married couple, welcoming their first baby into the world. It didn't matter that Harm wasn't the gene donor, any asshole can impregnate a woman, but it takes someone truly special to be a father. And Harm _was _that someone special. Being a father isn't about genetics, it's about love, it's about responsibility, it's about caring, it's about staying up at night when the child's sick, cleaning up vomit off the floor and changing a dirty diaper. It's about lending support and belief when the child experiences a defeat or a drawback. It's about being there for the child from start to finish. And Harm would do all that and would be there for the child until his last breath.

Loren gave a quick, but detailed, explanation and, with his own knowledge of his best friend, Sturgis understood more than he'd anticipated. Though, one thing puzzled him: they claimed they were together for the sake of the baby, that they weren't in a romantic relationship.

Observing them closely he wondered whether they were aware of just how much like a couple they looked and acted, even though they insisted they weren't lovers. They drew and gave silent, automatic support to each other, they cuddled up together as if it was the most normal thing in the world and they looked so comfortable and at ease with each other, with touching each other that it had Sturgis wondering whether they were fully honest with him. He suspected they were sleeping with each other. Well, they were, which was the main reason for the ease and comfort, but not in the way Sturgis suspected.

It did slightly surprise him that Loren didn't want Sergei to know about the baby, though. On the other hand he could understand her reasoning. Even with what he'd lived through Sergei was still young and immature and would've been more an additional problem and a drain of effort, time, energy and health, than any kind of real helpful help for her and with the baby coming that was the last thing she needed. Knowing Harm, it didn't surprise Sturgis that the other man had volunteered for the role of Loren's partner and father to her baby. Not only were she and the baby his family now, but as he'd told Harm just 10 minutes earlier, it had been clear for a long time he wanted children, and not just that, but a family, meaning the woman to go along with the babies. Harm had wasted a lot of time on relationships that didn't work out and, looking at it from this perspective, too much of it on his volatile relationship with Mac.

Still, the two colleagues had been involved in that sick parody of a dance, a dance which would never yield positive results, for too long to simply walk away as if it had never existed. There would have to be some kind of resolution, some kind of closing of the chapter of their lives.

Thus there was only one question remaining. "Does Mac know?"

"No." Harm shook his head. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her until I find a way to do it myself."

"Alright." agreed Turner.

Further conversation was cut short when Loren announced that dinner was ready.

The meal was delicious and Sturgis complimented the cook. Harm quickly hid a grin while Loren smiled mischeviously at Sturgis, who suddenly had the feeling as if it was an inside joke. It still took him by surprise that Harm and Loren could, and probably did, have private jokes.

"Thank you, Commander, yes, I can order with the best of them." she replied cheekily. The first to let out a guffaw was Harm and Turner quickly followed him. When they calmed down she explained. "I'm not that good a cook, I'm still learning, and since it was late I had the food delivered from a restaurant nearby and then just kept it warm."

The rest of the meal went quickly and Sturgis was surprised what a pleasant company Loren could be away from the office.

But he could not stay longer since his yawns had become too frequent. He had to go if he didn't want to fall asleep at the wheel.

Loren made her goodbyes at the door, the overprotective Harm not letting her go out at this time of the night in such a neighborhood, while the man himself followed Sturgis to his car. Unbeknown to Loren, he'd taken the gun with him, since he was all too aware of just how dangerous the neighborhood could be at night.

"Thanks, Sturgis, for lending me a hand and for accepting this so easily."

Sturgis shook Harm's hand and shrugged. "She makes you happy, Harm. I guess I now have my answer why you've been so upbeat these last few days, huh? I'm happy for you man, you deserve this chance at family and happiness. I'm sad to say I was among those who fell for her Ice Queen act these last few years. She seems like a really good person and you two are great together."

"Thanks." Harm's voice was serious. Even though Sturgis' disapproval wouldn't have changed anything, his approval still meant a lot to Harm.

"But why do you act at the office like nothing's going on?"

It was a valid question. "Loren wants to wait until we tell everyone, until it's impossible to hide. Do me a favor, Sturg, don't tell anyone about this and about who the father is."

"No problem. Why though?"

Harm looked at him strangely. "They were in a relationship and realized they weren't right only after they got physical. It's nothing unusual, Sturgis, many couples realize they're better as friends than as lovers after they had sex. But just because it's Loren Singer people would not apply this standard to her too, because it's her they would use a double standard, instantly marking her for a slut, a scarlet woman even. But contrary to what most people believe Loren isn't a slut, she doesn't go from one man to another. I don't want people spreading even more lies about her. As far as they're concerned, I am the baby's father and Loren and me have been involved for a while now. I don't want her bashed and I don't want the stigma of an illegitimate, one-night-stand-consequence for the child. That's not the kind of thing you can shake off easily, it follows you."

"I see what you mean." replied Sturgis subdued and he did. No matter how far society had come there were still many obsolete and hideous facets to it. He knew full well what the gossips and mean tongues at work would say with the info that Loren had gotten pregnat and then got together, even if it's just because of the baby, with the man's brother. "Don't worry about it, buddy, I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks." Harm smiled gratefully and shook his friend's hand. Saying goodnight he stepped back as Sturgis go into his car and pulled away.

Checking the Uhaul truck over once more, making sure it was secure, Harm made his way back to his family.

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	36. Chapter 36

What the hell are the ff. net support doing? They've messed up the system once again and ALL the scene-separator lines have disappeared. Have mailed them THREE times, received no answer, and lastly I received a notification from my mail provider that is an invalid address... So, in all of my 116 fics scenes are from now on merged together. gggrrrrr. Now I have to use this site's system.

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It was only a few days after Loren had moved in with Harm and they were finally faced with the chore most people hate... going grocery shopping.

Now, since he and Loren were living together it was only logical that they would go about it together.

Harm honestly didn't know what to expect from the experience, never having gone grocery shopping with a woman other than his mother and Diane before in his life, but he was sure it would be a completely new experience.

It started out all right, they found a parking space near the entrance and were soon making their way into the large complex.

The first sign of trouble was the way Loren perked up as soon as they entered the mall, becoming almost hyperactive and looking around with the excitement of a child and he couldn't keep his gaze and thoughts off of her.

What was it about this woman that had him so fascinated?

Okay, she was beautiful, make that incredibly beautiful, was extremely intelligent and smart, with a quick tongue and witty repartee, was his first time of witnessing a pregnancy from up close and finally giving him the family he'd always wanted, the constantly thrilling knowledge that there was a human growing inside her, a child who was to join their little family in just a few short months.

This woman, the one he had never expected to do it, had given him the greatest gift in the world.

She had given him a family.

And now she was about to give him the experience of shopping with a woman.

He was honestly shaking in his shoes.

* * *

Okay, so it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be, as bad as his married friends had told him it was.

He still remembered the 'advice' a few of the married guys he knew liked to give out to the younger men considering marriage and family.

It was simple: DON'T.

That had always made him suspicious. Why would something that was the core of the society be that bad?

As years went on he had become convinced that the guys with such opinion were the ones that were either not the marrying type or had made the wrong choice in their lifepartner or both.

His brief shared life with Loren had shown him that it wasn't bad at all.

Okay, so he and Loren weren't married and hadn't been living together long enough to have some major fights, but things were looking pretty good.

Thankfully Loren was still Loren and insisted on doing many things herself. Had she suddenly become clingy he would've been freaking out, convinced aliens had replaced her with a pod person or the CIA had subjected her to one of their experiments (which was more probable). He would've then been hunting down Webb if it had.

She went methodically through the aisles, sometimes disappearing for a few minutes, while Harm was pushing the cart, and when she came back she occasionally put something into it.

Everything went smoothly, except for the time when she almost caused him to have a heart attack.

The dress she was wearing wasn't a maternity dress (she was still convinced she didn't need one), but a regular one and it showed off her baby bulge, which was something Loren was no longer ashamed or afraid to show. Probably because this was not JAG and she didn't know these people.

Then suddenly, while walking ahead of him, she bent over slightly to pick something up from a shelf and Harm almost swallowed his tongue.

Obviously, in her condition and in that dress she wasn't able to crouch, so she'd just bent over, and presented Harm a fantastic view of her butt through the thin fabric. Harm thought his heart had stopped because all of the blood was heading south. While they weren't in a sexual relationship, Harm was still a red-blooded man and a view like this had a very specific effect on him. Especially when he remembered how rock solid that little butt had felt when it had been pressing and wriggling against his groin that memorable morning a few weeks back.

The next second he was absolutely sure he would die of lack of blood in his heart, since every single drop had decided to gather down south when he'd realized...

The prim and proper LT Loren Singer was going commando!

He was close enough to see that there was no line in the fabric of the dress and he was damn glad she'd worn a long dress which reached her ankles because otherwise she would be showing everything.

What the hell was she doing!? Trying to get arrested for indecency? Trying to get HIM arrested for public indecency?

Like from a fog a memory of a caught grumbling came to him. Earlier that day, while preparing for work, Loren had been grumbling about 'the damn things being too tight' and putting painful pressure on her belly. At the time he was wisely silent and had pretended he hadn't heard anything, but now it was making sense.

She'd been complaining about her panties' elastic being too tight and that was why she'd obviously decided not to wear them to the store.

He was sincerely hoping she was wearing at least _something _under her skirt for work because he was sure people would get curious as to why he'd locked himself inside his office for days on end and why he was blushing and avoiding Loren as much as possible.

The knowledge that she wasn't wearing anything under her skirt would've had him constantly hard around her. Either that or he would've complicated their relationship very much by just ravishing her in her office. From the heated glances she sent him occasionally he had the feeling she wouldn't protest.

Even he had heard about some women's sex drive receiving a boost during their second trimester.

Maybe he should finally start reading some of those 'what to expect...' books...

There were many books for women about pregnancy and labor, but were there any written for men to help them through this difficult and sometimes-dangerous-to-men's-sanity-and-health era?

He made a mental note to check out the nearest bookstore when he had a little time to himself.

But for now he had to make sure Loren's state of dress wouldn't become public knowledge.

He looked around to see if anyone was looking at Loren and was gratified they weren't. The people in the aisle consisted of two women not really interested in Loren. Unfortunately they _were _giving _him_ the googly eyes.

He stepped closer to Loren, who had by then chosen the item she'd wanted and he turned to her in a manner revealing he was there with her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the women's disappointed looks and felt bad, but he still wasn't on the market anymore. One of the benefits of his new position as a father and Loren's partner.

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	37. Chapter 37

Okay, this is a little bit of introspection and a bit of Harm putting his foot in (if he thought talking to Mac was like navigating a mine field - and he had actually navigated a mine field - then he's gonna realize talking to a pregnant, hormonal Loren makes talking to Mac look like a five o'clock tea with sweet little old polite and nice ladies).

Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming!

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True, he and Loren weren't in a romantic relationship, but they _were_ going to raise a child together and that meant that, when it comes to the possibility of a relationship with someone else, they were effectively committed to each other, excluding everyone else.

He had known he would be killing the chance of finding someone he could fall in love with when he'd proposed the idea to Loren, but family always comes first.

Besides, he was no longer willing to risk having his heart broken again as had happened too many times in his life already, with the woman either dying like Gym and Diane, or leaving him like Annie, Jordie and Renee or playing games like Mac, who'd been the main source of emotional pain for him since Diane's death.

To a small extent it would've been completely just had Harm himself or Diane's parents, the people who'd been most hurt by Diane's death, had the pleasure of ending her murderer's life.

Diane had been family to Harm, the woman he loved for more than 2 decades now (who says you can't love a person, just cause they're dead? The heart still remembers them, still loves them.), the woman he'd intended to marry, and every religious book, even the Bible and the Old Testament, demand an eye for an eye.

And this baby Loren was carrying was Harm's family, just as was Loren his family from now until eternity. Before he and Loren had gotten together they'd been his relatives, but now they were his real, his immediate family, his own child, not that of his brother, and the mother of his child, not the one time sex partner of his brother's.

And for his family Harm had always been willing to give up anything, even his own life, and the chance that someday in the murky, vague future he would meet the woman he'd fall in love with and who'd fall in love with him for who he was, everything he was, not just a part of him, and would want to just be with him and not play some head games with him, try to make him jealous; this chance was so small and miniscule that he had no problem giving up on it.

Which also meant he would have to show every woman who was interested that he wasn't on the market.

--

"I saw a maternity store earlier." he mentioned and then, at Loren's confused look, explained hesitantly, instinctively knowing it was a dangerous thing to talk to a pregnant woman about the fact that her clothes aren't fitting her anymore. "You can get some maternity clothes there."

"Are you saying I'm getting fat?" she asked archly, hands on her hips, eyebrow cocked warningly.

"No! No." he hastened to difuse the situation. Man, talking to a pregnant woman (or was it just pregnant Loren?) was worse than navigating through a minefield. He could attest to that, since he'd done it. "I'm just saying that in the three and a half years I've known you, I've never seen you wear something that was too big on you, your clothes always fit you very well, showing off your figure."

"So, you're saying I'm easy and dress like a sl..." she demanded, getting angry, but was quickly cut off by Harm, who knew they were starting to attract attention. Mentally Harm groaned, the hormones really were a bitch, making Loren into some highly sensitive and explosive barrel of gunpowder. Or dynamite.

"You're not _that_, never would be, and you're far from easy." Harm pleaded. "I'm just trying to say that you've always dressed with style and you were always slim and fit, but you're pregnant now and you won't be able to wear those clothes for long. Besides, I've heard you saying something about something being too tight the other day."

She settled down, conceding his point.

Her clothes _were_ getting tight, the fact that she could still wear them was because she rarely wore pants, and never jeans, so her dresses were still able to stretch enough to accomodate for her growing belly. However she knew she had to get new clothes and, something she dreaded, a maternity uniform.

She'd taken her current uniform to the tailor and had had it tailored for her new figure. No-one, except for 4 members of the senior staff, knew her secret yet, but the second she'd step out of the car in the parking lot wearing a maternity uniform the whole damn base would know. If not sooner, becase after all those Marine guards at the gates _were_ worse gossips than stereotypical women... She could just imagine what everyone at the office would say when they'd find out.

Sleeping her way up the ladder would probably be the nicest assumption they'd make. True, she wasn't the best person in the world, and she was still trying to figure out what she'd done to deserve a guy like Harm caring for her and want to stay with her for the rest of their lives and raise the baby with her, but she'd never use her body to climb the ladder.

She wanted to get up there on her own merit, with her skills as a lawyer and officer, not with how good she was in bed. Only if she was in some cheap, dwindling from low ratings and low quality writing, soap opera and the producers would've replaced her with a pod person just to assassinate her character would Lieutenant Loren Singer do something like that, no other way.

And she knew no-one at the office would believe the truth.

Could she use Harm, have everyone believe it was his baby? She'd have to seriously talk about that with him later. Besides, he had clearly said that he wanted to be this baby's Daddy, with everything it entails, he would be the one to raise the baby with her, so biologics don't matter.

After all, it never matters who is the father, what matters is who is the Daddy.

--

Then his last words came and she raised wide eyes at him. 'He didn't mean it the way it sounded.' she tried to convince herself. 'He hasn't noticed it.'

But then she caught his eyes darting downwards swiftly and then back and she knew he'd noticed her lack of underwear. Cursing the fact that she no longer felt comfortable in her own underwear, much less her constantly changing body, she blushed deep crimson and was at least somewhat gratified to see him blush too.

"Before we get arrested for public indecency." he mumbled quietly to himself, but Loren still heard him.

She was baffled, why would _he_ be the one arrested? Make that, why would any of them be arrested? Okay, so she wasn't wearing any underwear (thankfully the dress had an in-built bra, otherwise her lack of one would've been pretty noticeable), but the dress was still ankle-length, not showing anything. How could he have noticed? She immediately shook off the thought that Harm had been checking out her ass closely enough to notice the lack of pantylines as ludicrous. Harm didn't see her as an attractive woman, she was sure.

And why would _he _get arrested? Then she noticed the way his body was stiff, the way he was tensing his muscles as if fighting a battle against his own body and she glanced down, quickly raising an impressed eyebrow.

Something was definitely wanting to wake up down there and even with the added shield of his jacket it would've been noticable were it to awaken fully.

And, from what she had felt just a couple of weeks ago, it would've been impossible to hide it. He would've been sure to attract numerous attention from the women they'd encounter and she would have to do some really blatant and aggressive marking of her territory, of Harm, if she wouldn't want him dragged off against his will and ravaged by some woman.

And Loren wasn't in the mood for fights right now.

However the knowledge that she had such effect on him, so much power over him, that she could arouse him by doing practically nothing, was intoxicating and empowering.

She was already trying to figure out how to best take advantage of this.

She could use it in court, when they'd go against each other. With them living together she could easily make sure he'd know she was going commando or make it known to him in court. If his reaction would be anything like it was now she would win without a problem.

But that would've been impossible as the Admiral knew about their new relationship and living arrangements and would thus never let them have the same case again.

Nonetheless, she had to agree with this arrangement.

Not only would their relationship endanger the sentence, but the trial itself could cause problems in their domestic life as it would definitely create tension between them, as they would either be opposing each other or have different ideas on how they should defende/prosecute the defendant if they were on the same side. Harm would then probably have to spend the night, or a few of them, on the couch, which would've made Chegwidden angry at her, because Harm would've been unable to get up, much less go to work and continue on the case from the damage the couch would've done to his back.

This way it was a win-win arrangement.

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	38. Chapter 38

Well, I'm back with another part. Have decided to write T-at-most rated fics only from now on, no more smut fics and am scrapping the smutty WIPs I have. It's just not worth the bother. Non-M rated fics are much more redeeming besides the fact that the smut draws away from the plot.

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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Still, the idea of having so much power over him wouldn't leave her mind even as she replied. "You're right, it might be a good idea to check it out after we're done here. I need some new clothes and as loathe as I am to admit it, I'm gonna get much bigger all too soon and I'm gonna need real maternity clothes. Most of what I have is already too tight, only the dresses are still somewhat comfortable."

Harm nodded affirmatively, eager to get out of the minefield. "Okay then. When we're done here, I'll take the stuff to the car and meet you there."

She nodded agreeing, and as Harm turned back to the shelves since the matter was decided upon, something caught her eye and she wondered off.

A minute later, Harm, who had been in the meantime trying to decide between several brands of spaghetti, turned around and was startled not to see her around.

Whipping around fully he surveyed the store with worried eyes, when he finally found her. She was in the sweets aisle, reaching, if he wasn't mistaking, for a big jar of Nutella.

Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw a man come down the main aisle, which separated the aisle in which Loren was from the one where Harm was, and did a sharp 90 degree turn when he caught sight of Loren.

Harm cocked his head, honestly intrigued. The man looked like he was about to come on to her and Harm definitely wanted to know how she'd react. Not that he was jealous or possessive (okay, so he was starting to become a little possessive - however not jealous -, but it was a job requirement being her life-partner), but he really wanted to know how Loren reacted to male attention. She was an attractive woman with an air of strong personality, which drew men like flies. Or should he say 'moths'. For that's how it ended for them.

The phrase 'crash and burn' came to mind, only revised. 'Burned and crashed' was a much better fitting term for what happened to the young man, seemingly 5 years younger than Loren, blond haired, medium build, with a suave smile, the one indicating the guy had no problem picking up women. Except for this time. When he made his move he didn't get batting eyebrows, smokey eyes, out-thrust breasts, purry voice or any kind of flirting.

The answer Loren gave him was a glare so icy it had the ice-cold-water-effect even on Harm, who had nothing to do with it, making his own particular parts of the anatomy shrivel up. No doubt it was much worse for the other guy. From the man's proximity to the glare and the sole fact he was it's target, Harm was sure the man had just been literally castrated by that single look. His recovery would probably take a while.

Burned and then crashed, splattering on the ground like a water melon.

The man literally stumbled over his feet as he hurried away and, even though it was plain the man was... er... HAD BEEN a womanizer (Harm doubted he still was one after the lesson he'd just been taught), Harm couldn't help but feel just a tiny, itty-bitty, miniscule shred of sympathy for him. Well, okay, that moment of sympathy left him immediately.

'Well, now this is interesting.' thought Harm when he recovered. He'd known immediately Loren would reject the man, knowing how seriously she held their commitment to each other and how she didn't want to get involved in another relationship, seeing as she and Harm were together now, but he had not expected such a vehement reaction.

Grabbing her prize she stalked over to him, mumbling under her breath. He distinctly heard something about pigs, womanizers, rusty knives and several methods of torture he hadn't even known she knew about.

Noticing his surprised look she snapped, hurt, thinking he'd believed she was going to take the guy up on his offer. "I wasn't going to sleep with him, some guy I just met!"

Harm's response was a soft, soothing voice. "I knew you wouldn't. Not before and not now that we're... I guess..." he hesitated not sure whether to say it, but then he remembered their agreement: _no secrets._ "I guess I was just surprised at the strength of your reaction."

Loren looked at him sharply, instinctively expecting ridicule or hostility, the attitude she received from everyone else, but was surprised to see genuine concern shining there. Harm thought she looked like she was going to say something, but then turned away, put her jar in the cart and moved off. Harm hurried to catch up with her and they spent the next few minutes in a silence, but not tense silence, browsing through food items. She completely surprised him with her answer, because from her silence he had thought the matter closed to her.

"I don't sleep around and especially not with his type, not after..." she broke off and was silent again, chastising herself for saying too much.

Spying Harm's gaze from the corner of her eye she didn't see the curious expression of someone dying for gossip, but a caring expression of someone who actually _cared_ about her. It was a completely new feeling for her, knowing she was that important to someone.

* * *

Sure, she and Sergei had been working towards friendship, but Sergei was a cautious person, due to his experience in war, and didn't allow himself to get attached that soon. Harm, on the other hand, had not had any such prejudice towards establishing an emotional bond early on, knowing that in a way Loren was a sure thing, a safe bet, that she wouldn't leave him now that they'd decided to get together. It was much easier to entrust your heart to someone you were in a business-deal-like-relationship with, than in a all-emotions-only-relationship, because emotions can fade, they can burn away, disappear, while a business contract is a lasting thing, one a person will hold to forever. Well, unless they are a crook. And since their relationship was more like a business deal, because of which Harm knew Loren would never leave, never break the deal off, he found it much easier to entrust her with a piece of his heart, because she'd never break it, than to another woman in a normal relationship, let's say Mac.

His relationship with Mac had always been very volatile, they had "broken up" many times and part of the reason why Harm had never completely opened up to her, risked his heart...okay, next to the fact that Mac had never done the same, had never really risked anything, had always had a safety net either in the form of a relationship or by careful phrasing of her attempt that left him guessing what was it she actually wanted. And then she got pissed at him when he couldn't read her mind or when he misunderstood her. What he'd always desperately wanted from her was a user's manual, the one owners get when they buy a new car or a computer. He wasn't a mind reader and his ability to guess intentions had always spectacularly failed him when it came to Mac. She also never seemed receptive to a relationship with him when they were both free, just made hit-and-run charges when one of them was with someone else (when they'd been in Sydney, for example, Harm had already been involved with Renee) and thus knew there was no way for them to get together.

Which made Harm think Mac was, when conducting her probes, hiding behind her relationships with other men or his relationships with other women, and it'd made him wonder whether she had ever really wanted a relationship with him or just wanted to string him along, keep him interested to make herself feel better with the knowledge she was still attractive. Or was it something else, perhaps she was afraid of being happy or perhaps afraid of delving into an unknown territory by having a healthy, adult, equal relationship, something she didn't have any experience in, as her role models had been the lousiest possible and because all of her previous relationships had been the complete opposite of healthy, adult equal relationships, with her willingly giving the man the reigns to her life and letting him make all of her decisions? Lowne had been the type to want control, Brumby had been even more obvious in being a control freak.

But the main reason Harm had not trusted Mac with his heart was because there had always been a niggling doubt at the back of his mind whether she'd wouldn't leave him or even be unfaithful to him. Had they gotten together in Sydney, would she be happy with him or would she be unhappy, perhaps even cheat on him wth another man? The last time they'd met it had been pretty obvious Farrow still wanted her... Perhaps she would again go to Farrow, like she had done while she'd been married to Chris (ep What If).

In the relationships she'd had since he'd known her she'd never committed herself to the man fully, had kept her options open. Why should he believe she would be different with him? And with the relationships she'd had before they'd met, Mac had been cheating on her husband.

And this is the reason why he had never given his heart to her, he'd never be sure whether she wouldn't leave him by either dying, losing interest in him, losing love for him or wasn't completely faithful to him, not having forsaken all others for him, as she'd promised, by still keeping her options open for someone "better" to come along and then she'd leave Harm for that man. She'd done that to Brumby for Harm, what's to stop her from doing that to Harm?

What it all came down to were Harm's fears of Mac abandoning him, leaving him if they'd ever enter a relationship.

And he _was_ truthful with himself that he had serious abandonment issues. With almost every person he'd ever truly loved in his life having either died or left him, who could blame him?

On the other hand he knew he didn't have to fear abandonment from Loren. Their relationship was a business deal, a contract, there were no such a messy and fragile thing as emotions being the tie between them. Loren was a true business woman and thus Harm knew she'd never renege their contract, go back on it. Which is why Harm had allowed himself to form an emotional attachment, to openly care for her (okay, so only when they were alone) without prejudice, wasn't afraid of letting her see what she now meant to him.

And because of this openly and honestly caring look Loren decided to break her wall down a little and let him in just a couple of feet. Completely unaware along the way that she'd just made a giant leap towards healing from her previous disastrous relationships and getting herself to be first time in decades capable of having a happy romantic relationship, capable of giving herself to a man fully, trusting him, trusting him with her heart, her soul, her mind and her body, knowing it went both ways.

Unaware, Loren had just taken the first step down the path towards she and Harm having a true relationship, real family, true marriage, trust and love.

Looking around, she checked there was no-one around, before whispering. "My first time was with that type. I was young and naive back then. He courted me at first and was so charming, but after he got what he was after he left and I never saw him again. He was also selfish and didn't even make sure I..." she shut up, realizing she'd said too much, especially when she saw Harm look uncomfortable.

She'd known for a time he was a private and even shy man when it came to sex and it frankly surprised her, considering how much praise had one of his former girlfriends had for his sexual prowess. Loren hadn't been at the HQ then yet, but she'd heard LCDR Imes and LTJG Sims talking.

"Anyway, that's when I swore I wasn't going to give in to this type of men anymore. I wasn't gonna let myself be used anymore."

She turned sad eyes to the floor and Harm tantatively reached out and put one hand on her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do.

This relationship was like no other he had ever known. It was so complex, had so many layers and contradictions he sometimes didn't know where the boundaries were. They'd been coworkers with a civil relationship before and slowly becoming friends, and now they were together to raise a child, yet they weren't involved in that way, they weren't lovers. They were still awkward and hesitant with giving and seeking comfort, even if it was just an innocent hug, not knowing what was acceptable in this relationship they had and what was out of bounds.

He wanted to give her a hug, a kind of comfort, but wasn't sure how it would be received in the middle of a store, when it would no doubt draw attention.

So he just gave her time and space, while making sure she knew he was there for her. Soon, she lifted stormy blue eyes at him and smiled tremulously, quickly wiping away a lonely tear. "I'm okay, it's just these hormones, they make everything worse."

This time he gave in to his urge and took her briefly into his arms. Rubbing her back once he released her in case she had any protests.

Loren parted from him, somewhat unwillingly it seemed, and looked around embarrassed.

Harm, wanting to avoid another tense moment, grabbed the cart again. "Ready to move on?"

She looked up and her eyes showed she'd caught on to the double meaning in his words. Slowly she smiled. "Yeah, I'm ready. Can't wait to see what's waiting for us out there."

With just a few steps they reached the area of the store Harm dreaded. When he'd still been in his 20's he'd liked it, but in his 30's, particularly the last few years, he'd come to dread it.

The produce section.

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	39. Chapter 39

I'm not from the US, I'm from Europe and what is said in the next 2 sentences is something I've gleaned from hundreds of fics from several different fandoms, some either expressly stating it and others just hinting or even taking it as a proven fact. If I've got it wrong, then please just pretend it's like this, cause this is an important element of the plot. Thank you.

Loved the reviews, keep them coming!

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For some unknown reason it was always here he was the most hit on by women.

It was as if this wasn't a vegetable/fruit market, but a singles market where single people came to meet a potential partner.

There was never a shortage of women who'd suddenly pop up right next to him, try to pick up a conversation (and try to pick up Harm along the way) or try recommending him a particular fruit or a vegetable, all the while batting their lashes, purring with husky voices, thrusting their breasts (or their other best assets) at him and try to get to him as close as possible without plastering themselves over him. He'd also noticed on several occasions other men doing a similar thing there, namely showing off their stuff and strutting, trying to catch themselves the subject of their interest.

As a young guy he'd liked this sort of attention, but now as a wiser, more mature man he dreaded it somewhat. Not only had for a long time a brown-eyed brunette have the keys to his heart, first Diane, then Mac, but the main condition for a potential partner now was to have things in common with the woman. Career, interests, hobbies, tastes,... not just mere sexual attraction. Which in a twiste way also meant Mac had never been a good option as a partner, for they had almost nothing in common, except for both being military lawyers. Diane and he had had the Navy in common, both didn't like meat, they'd both been at the Academy, had studied together, had helped each other out, by the time Diane had been killed their bond had been 14 years of a romantic relationship and friendship.

Thus the requirements for a potential partner were things one can't find out with a conversation in some store, but with a continuous contact and something that Harm was able to find out at work, where it was immediately obvious what the woman's job was, which was why all of the women he'd been involved with had either been military or had been involved with the military for a time.

But now it was different.

For the better, thank god.

The women here wouldn't see him as an attractive single guy, a free game, but as a married guy, out shopping with his pregnant wife.

Loren was his protection, his shield from all those women out to take advantage of him.

She was...

Crap! Where the heck was she going!?

"I'll be right back, you go ahead. For some reason I'd really like to eat some peanuts tonight. Not the ones in the can, but the ones still in their shells. You just pick what vegetable and fruit we need." she said and disappeared down an aisle to the left.

'Oh my, the cravings are here.' he thought to himself and looked after her pleadingly, trying to will her to come back and not have him go into the lion's den by himself.

But then he reminded himself that he was a grown man and not a shy scared virgin, a very decorated pilot in fact, a famous lawyer, a brave soldier and then groaned at the realization of just how much more molested he would be if the women here knew all that.

He took a deep breath, released it and stepped into Hell.

--

Well, he had to admit it wasn't as bad as he had feared.

For the first five minutes he was left in peace, giving him a sense of security.

Which, true to his luck, turned out to be pretty much false...

Then the old scenario repeated.

He was just picking out oranges as a good looking woman, a few years younger, suddenly appeared next to him.

At first she did nothing overt, minding her own business, but then he could feel her glance over at him occasionally. When he looked to check she sent him a flirtatious smile.

He smiled politely, not wanting to encourage her, but still not wanting to be rude, which she unfortunately took as an encouragement.

He had to admit, she was a very beautiful woman, tall and looked quite similar to Jeri Ryan, the 7/9 from Star Trek (and he cursed Bud silently for being the sole reason why Harm even knew anything about Star Trek), even facial-features-wise. Plainly and crudely put, she was a knockout, the kind Harm would've truly appreciated interest from before he and Diane had begun their relationship, but, unfortunately for her, she was too late. Not only was he taking his commitment to Loren and the baby seriously, but it had been more than a decade since he'd been drawn to a woman by her looks alone.

Then the woman suddenly took the orange he was holding from his hands and put another there, claiming that this one was better.

Harm was pretty uncomfortable by now, she hadn't done or said anything overt, so he couldn't have just come right out and tell her that he wasn't interested. Neither could he just thank politely and leave this section of the store as he was yet to collect everything he needed.

"Thank you, I'll just take this one and... this one." he finally managed to get in, gesturing first to the orange he was holding, who's virtue the woman had been expounding upon, and grabbing another one from the pile.

The famous Rabb (un)luck held true and suddenly before Harm's horrified eyes the carefully put-together mountain of oranges disintegrated with it's former members rolling around the floor of the store.

He didn't know where from, but suddenly other female customers flocked from everywhere, retrieving the ball-y fruit and flirting with him. For the first time in his life Harm had no clue how to react and just stood there, looking around helplessly.

'Where's Loren!?' was his only thought.

Well, more of a mental scream.

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	40. Chapter 40

Just recently found out about Bill H.R.1955/S. 1959 and it sent chills down my back. The definition is so vague it can encompass even political election campaign as terorism. Even thinking of participating in peaceful, non-violent protests can be terorism according to it. It was passed by the House with 404 to 6 and is waiting to be passed by the Senate. There's a petition action on-line to convince Senate not to pass it( www. petitiononline. com/S1959/petition. html - without the spaces).

My mind is with the Greenpeace motto: "Why surf when you can make waves?" Wonder how long before they and other humane organisations are classified as terrorist organizations just because they fight against pollution, oil barons, for protection of human rights,...

Okay, enough with the depressing topics, it's time to bury our heads in the sand again and get back into the wonderful world of fiction where nothing really bad happens. Well, at least not in my fics.

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Loren turned the corner, the bag of peanuts safely in her hand when she suddenly caught sight of a most unexpected scene.

There, in the middle of the produce section, was standing Harm, an orange in each of his hands and a lost, baffled look on his face, while women from seemingly all reaches of life, from ages 22 to 45, were around him picking oranges up off the floor and flirting with him.

Loren chuckled to herself as she started slowly making her way towards him carefully so she wouldn't fall on of one of the oranges and hurt herself and the baby. She was trying to keep her amusement to herself, but a small smile was still showing.

It seemed as if every woman in the store was currently there (Loren was even having suspicions as to the single status of a few of them) and Loren could've sworn that some of them had unbuttoned a few buttons on their blouses, were thrusting their breasts at him, batting their eyelashes and purring, if Harm's pained look had anything to say about it.

All in all, Loren found Harm's situation hillarious, especially since he seemed less than impressed.

While she and Harm had gotten together in the sense of raising the baby she wouldn't have begrudged him a little stress-relief on the side. As long as he'd do everything to protect himself against STD's and unwanted pregnancies, of course. She herself wouldn't be looking for any such adventures.

She'd had enough of them for the rest of her life and the last one had cost her, not only her way of life and her spot in the fast lane, but also the remainder of her life.

Besides, she knew Harm had committed himself to her and the baby fully and she knew full well what his promise meant. He'd do anything in his power, even move mountains, to fulfill a promise of his and as such there was no way some other woman might steal him away. He was an honorable man, the best one she knew.

He was also a very attractive one, which was why Loren understood the women who had decided to make a try for the without-a-doubt-best-looking guy in the store.

Because of his commitment and promise to be there for her and the baby and help her raise the child, she knew she had no reason to worry about him abandoning them for one of these women.

No, no woman in this, or any other store could ever be a danger. The true danger was at work, a chocolate-eyed brunette with a tongue as sharp, if not sharper than Loren. Still, Loren realized, Harm was something of a glutton for punishment when it came to Mac and was drawn in, like a moth to the flame, and like that moth he always got burnt. Almost literally, for Mac truly was la femme fatale. And Loren fully intended on breaking him of this fixation, this masochistic behaviour, not only for his own good, but also for the good of herself and the baby, before he ended up like a moth. This baby neded a father and not an empty shell of a once-great man and Loren intended to make sure the baby'd get the father she knew Harm could be.

So, these women weren't any danger, they gave her no reason to be jealous. Possessive, that she freely admitted to herself she was over Harm, of course, but not jealous.

Finally she stood next to him and put the bag of peanuts in the cart, then turned towards Harm, put one hand on her hip, to her annoyance finding out that the once-seductive curve of her waist had almost disappeared and she wouldn't have space to put her hand there anymore, and one eyebrow arching towards her hairline. The fact that she was having fun at his expense was quite clear and Harm groaned on the inside.

"Always have to create a stir where-ever you go, don't you, Harm?"

Upon hearing the female voice say these words with affection and familiarity the women slowly stopped what they'd been doing and turned to see a petite, but gorgeous blonde standing close to the hunk and looking up at him with the expression of familiarity and exasperation. The kind that wives usually have with their recaltricant husbands.

From the confident and not at all worried expression and manner of the blonde the women quickly understood that they had no chance with the man. The woman's obvious pregnancy and the slightly put-out look the man was sending her further reassured them.

One by one they finished retrieving the oranges and put them back, disappearing quickly.

The ones who had remained were able to see the woman reach for her obvious husband's hand and gently tow him away.

On the inside they were fuming. ' The hunk should really wear his ring, it's not fair of him to give honest girls like us false hopes. She obviously has his brass ones in her purse, so it should be just fair to the rest of us women to have it made known that he's taken.'

With glances, admiring Loren for having caught the hottie, their eyes followed the couple as they left the section, with Harm pushing the cart.

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	41. Chapter 41

The following part is too long to post it in one piece, so I post this part as a prelude. It also has a significant progress in their relationship, which you'll find out if you read it carefully. This one was a long time coming because I have 3 papers to write this month and am also busily working on another H&L fic that I've been putting off for more than a year. If not two.

Loved the reviews, please keep them up.

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When they were out of earshot Loren could no longer contain herself. Giggling she raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, what do you know... The big, bad Naval Aviator needed a woman, and a pregnant one at that, to rescue him from other women... If your buddies find out about this... Aren't you supposed to... you know... use those gold wings, charm their panties and bras off of them and take them to bed?"

Harm smiled widely, secretly pleased at the teasing side that was slowly coming out in Loren.

--

For so long she'd reminded him of a wounded, scared small animal, backed into a corner and snarling at everything that came close to keep herself safe, to keep from perishing, and to keep up the facade of being strong and dangerous, of being healthy and not wounded, of being invulnerable and invincible. And that was all it had been: a facade. Because, at the core beat a soft, vulnerable heart of a lonely woman, who was craving for the love, acceptance and support of a man who would never leave or hurt her. A soft heart of a woman who'd been disappointed, hurt and used too many times to ever trust that easily again and because of having been hurt so many times she had developed thick, strong walls to protect her from feeling pain again.

But recently, ever since she'd sailed into and dropped her anchor in the safe harbor of this quasi marriage, Loren was slowly dropping her defensive shields and the me-against-the-world stance, which had unfortunately been true as she had truly been alone against the world, and was opening herself up to him more and more.

Harm was beginning to get solid glimpses at the real woman, of the woman who had been hiding beneath that facade for longer than he could imagine. A woman who only wanted to love and be loved back, who wanted to entrust her heart, mind and body to a man and not be hurt again, to not have her heart shattered, her body taken advantage of. The woman hiding behind the facade was much different from the LT Singer he'd come to know over the past three and a half years and, to his surprise, actually quite likeable.

Not that he would ever dare to take the credit for Loren's transformation into a socially-completely adjusted and acceptable person and, even more shockingly, into such a likeable one, an innerly attractive and interesting woman. It was all Loren's work, she was doing all the labor in tearing down those walls, letting her mask drop and to slowly start trusting other people again, he was just there, supporting her, giving her strength to do what she needed on her own time and thus slowly helping her regain faith into other people.

The woman that was starting to be revealed, that was emerging out of the shell of LT Witch like a phoenix out of the ashes, was so intriguing, attractive and seductive, not just in the commonly-accepted term of sexual seduction, but mainly as a person, that every alarm Harm possessed was wailing out proximity alert at the clear and present danger of falling in love with her.

Little did Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. know they were already too late and he had already started falling in love with one charming Loren Singer, the woman.

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	42. Chapter 42

Well, this is the continuation of the scene, I hope it justifies your expactations.

Loving the reviews, please keep them coming!

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With a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips Harm flirted back. "Well, ma'am, that would be a problem."

'Ma'am?' Loren repeated in her mind and snickered. If she wasn't mistaking Harm was flirting with her. Seeing nothing bad in it she decided to play along.

"A problem, you say, sir?" Deepening her southern drawl, imitating a southern lady of the 19th century, she batted her eyelashes. The 'sir' was no intimation of their professional relationship, but an imitation of a southern gentleman and lady flirting.

Normally she wouldn't be caught dead behaving like this, yet the good humor of the previous few minutes was still singing in her veins and she couldn't help but flirt a little. She hoped she still knew how, because all of her relationships 'till now had had one thing in common: they hadn't been light, fun, playful relationships, she and her partner had never been playful or just having fun goofing off. They'd been either serious or just passionate, but never playful.

Yet, this relationship with Harm was already indicating it would be everything her previous ones hadn't been: playful, serious, passionate (well, in all matters but sex, since they weren't having it), dreamy, supportive, strong, warm, friendly, dedicated, committed, loyal,... and above all permanent.

It would require a completely new mindset and, even though it would take a lot of work on herself before she'd completely adjust her mindset and attitude, she already knew, after just a couple of weeks, that it was worth it.

Since it's always best to start something immediately upon deciding on it, she resolved to give playful a shot right now.

"Indeed." Harm intoned deeply.

"And what is the problem?" she purred huskily and moved so close to him she could feel the heat of his body seeping into hers, surprising Harm immensely. It took him a second to recover from his surprise and he did so with glee.

"I left the wings at home." he gestured at his casual attire. Loren barely kept a straight face.

"Is that all?" she snorted derisively. "I've never met a pilot who would be stopped by such a small obstacle."

"And just how many _have_ you met? How many have tried to use their wings on you?" he demanded to know. Harm's voice grew deeper and he never noticed how he was beginning to lean closer to her.

"Wouldn't you like to know..." Loren whispered intimately and ran one finger teasingly, flirtatiously down his broad strong chest, drawing designs as an excuse to feel the muscles beneath the cloth flutter, before it hit them just how close they were standing. Physically backing off slightly they still continued the pleasing game.

"Well, that's just the beginning of it." Harm shrugged. "Me forgetting my wings at home isn't the only reason."

"There's more?" cue in a mock-surprised raised eyebrow.

"Indeed." Harm nodded seriously and continued in a bad impersonation of John Wayne. "You see, little lady, I've already caught myself a woman."

"You have?" asked Loren with a skeptical tone, yet the twitch of her lips betrayed her.

"Indeed." Harm responded.

Loren wrinkled her nose cutely and complained. "Is that all you can say? 'Indeed'?"

Harm grinned mischeviously and Loren groaned, already knowing what was coming.

"Indeed."

She thumped him gently on his strong chest and thought of dropping the subject, but the devil on her shoulder wouldn't let her. She dared to ask. "And just who is this lady you've caught yourself?"

"Well, I wouldn't call her a lady..." Harm pretended to muse about it and barely hid a smile at Loren's scandalized reaction. "She is rather short and pregnant, but a firecracker of a woman and is the fastest draw in the East."

Loren pushed down hard the emotion that flooded her when he said it was she and tried to ignore how her heart skipped a beat. There was no way she could be starting to feel this way for him.

Nearly breathless she fired back. "You make her sound like a gun-slinger."

"Well, she's definitely as feisty as one." Harm agreed. "But, no, she's on the right side of the law."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it is." he nodded. "Because now that I have her I won't be using those gold wings on no other woman anymore. My wild days are over, such as they were, I've been caught, tied down and domesticated. The only woman to have the right to them from now on is she."

Loren was again hard pressed to ignore the shiver that went down her spine at Harm's little revelation, that only she from now on was to have access to certain private parts of him, parts that until just recently she didn't have the right to, parts only a brunette at work had had the right to, but had never used that right. The exact wording of Loren's arrangement with Harm had been more of a business deal and truthfully Loren had by that time already given up on ever having a sexual relationship with a man again, even before then, especially having a stable, successful one, even more so as she was pregnant with another man's child. But now with Harm's declaration some new, terribly wicked and deliciously sinful ideas had been awakened, bombarding her mind and her hormone-weakened-resistance-to-Harm with tempting images.

She'd always been aware that Harm was a devilishly handsome man, she'd never been neither dead nor a lesbian, but had always managed to ignore his appeal and professionally worked alongside him, with no sexual tension coming to life. But now, with their new living arrangements, their new relationship and the fact that she was in her 4th month by now, the famous second trimester, when some fun new hormones had driven up her lybido, her resistance to him was weakening.

Harm's declaration also marked a significant step forward in their relationship, it was the first time either of them had clearly and outloud admitted that they were in a relationship, not in a business deal, and that they were exclusive and committed, devoted to each other. Harm had outloud declared that if he had sex ever again in his life it would only be Loren he'd have it with, no other woman ever again. This was the second reason why it was a significant step: it was the first time either of them had aloud admitted they had thoughts of deepening their relationship, taking it to the next level, the physical level, and he had thus also admitted he wasn't opposed to the idea of making love to Loren and, perhaps even more important to her, he found her sexually attractive. At the time her waistline was disappearing and her belly was growing she was feeling increasingly more unattractive and so Harm's confession had done wonders for her bruised self-esteem, ego and confidence.

Her eyes shimmered as she fought back tears of many, overwhelming emotions and she decided he really deserved to know what she thought of the idea, even though she considered it too early in their relationship to take that next step and was too insecure and afraid of getting hurt again.

And so it was with a husky voice that Loren leaned in, her eyes dark smokey blue from black irises enlargened fully, and whispered. "And don't you forget it."

Then she turned and sauntered away, leaving Harm in her wake shaking with adrenalin and arousal.

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REVIEW!


	43. Chapter 43

Loved the reviews, please keep them up!

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After grabbing a few bottles of mineral water they were done with grocery shopping and Harm secretly sighed in relief.

During the wait in the line at the cashier's station Loren flipped through a woman magazine while Harm amused himself with observing her. When she'd first picked it up Harm had watched her with trepidation. These things had destroyed and were still destroying more relationships than alcohol and/or one of the partners doing something else stupid. His worry cleared away when he realized she wasn't flipping through it with the reverence of an adoring fan, but with a distant and annoyed air of someone who had nothing else to do and was lowering herself to the magazine's level with disgruntlement.

He saw a slightly interested look which then turned into a disappointed one when she glanced down at her belly and he guessed she'd probably seen some fashion tips or an ad with some nice clothes. True, the baby somewhat hampered normal expressions of fashion, but Harm was certain that there was fashion for pregnant ladies as well. Would've been stupid from the big clothes companies to pass up an opportunity like that, seeing that most women are pregnant at least once for several months in their lives.

He and Loren would be heading into the maternity store next and Harm would make sure she'd get some nice things to wear. Just because she thought that having a growing baby mound prevented her from looking good didn't mean Harm did and that he wouldn't try to prove her wrong. It was probably some residue of Loren's hormones floating in the air and the emotions involved with seeing a woman pregnant with your child, but to Harm she was perhaps more beautiful than she'd been.

He wondered what she'd be like at 8 months...

The sudden quick glance at him and the fierce blush that had taken over her cheeks baffled him. What could've caused that?

Then the light-bulb switched on. Oh! The requisite sex tips article, at least he thought so. Then the realization that she had automatically thought of him when coming across that article struck and he floundered for a second before reminding himself that it was perfectly natural that the first person she would think of doing that with would be the man she was living with, sharing her life with and sleeping in the same bed with. He was completely truthful with the fact that when he nowadays occasionally had an erotic thought it always included Loren as his partner. Neither was it unknown he had a brief erotic dream about Loren, cause after all he did sleep with Loren snuggled safely into his arms and her behind tucked into his groin. Thank god she hadn't found that out, imagine how embarrassing that would be! Or she had found that out and was feeling merciful.

Or just waiting for the right moment to use that knowledge..

Like in the middle of the bullpen...

That thought made him gulp.

Right that second he was infinitely grateful they didn't have a sexual relationship, for she would probably want to try that sex tip with him. Harm still distinctly remembered the time when Bud had come to work barely capable of walking. Harriet's guilty look was a very good clue and when he'd cross-interrogated... erm... _asked _Bud about the reason for his weird walking, the younger man had admitted to have gone along with Harriet's idea to enact a sex tip about how to please a man she'd found in a woman magazine. The fun had ended when Bud had suddenly been convulsing in pain from his private regions when Harriet had almost done an irrepairable damage to him. From what Bud had told him the trip to the ER had been the most humiliating experience of his life. Even though Harriet had religiously followed the magazine's instructions she had almost not only castrated Bud, but also mutilated that vital part of him.

Harm wondered just how many men had become eunichs because of that and similar articles.

When several months later Renee had wanted to try out another such tip from yet another magazine she'd been surprised by the forceful and fearful rejection of the idea. So vehement had Harm's reaction been she had never tried to suggest re-enacting a sex tip again. To his great relief.

Then suddenly Loren's blush turned into disgust and she hurriedly changed the page. He deduced she'd probably happened upon an article in the sense of the legendary "10 ways to find out if your man is a pig" or is it "Is your man a pig"? Were the writers of these articles and/or editors of these magazines man-hating feminists and/or lesbians? Whatever it was, Loren was disgusted by it. There _was _a chance he was just transplanting his own feelings on this type of articles onto Loren, but he sincerely doubted it. Loren was a no-nonsense woman and therefore didn't tolerate such crap. Just the fact that she'd picked that collection of glossed-up written crap up spoke of the level of her boredom.

He was infinitely relieved when his room-mate returned the magazine to it's stand with an expression of fierce revulsion. It was just as well, as they were just being rung up.

It shouldn't have surprised Harm when Loren dismissed the assistance of the bag-filler and packed the bags herself. She _had_ always been willful and thick... er... _strong_headed. But Harm knew that with care and subtle handling Loren would get off the me-against-the-world kick and let other people help occasionally. Unfortunately until now she'd had all the right to that philosophy. After all, until now she had had no-one there for her and the ones who should've been had only disappointed and abandoned her. When she realized he was and would be there to stay she would ease up. He was sure there were also things about him that needed working on and things that needed re-adjustment and he was also sure they would be fixed. Loren would make damn sure of that...

But the thing is, they wouldn't be changing each other, transforming them into someone else, but they themselves would work on becoming better persons because they _wanted_ to be better, for themselves and for each other, yet they'd still remain who they'd been. There was a world of a difference between these two terms and bitterly he remembered how Mac had tried to change him into a person she'd wanted him to be and not let him be who he was. What was that proverb? "Love not who they are, but who you can make them into"? Or had he just come up with that himself?

But the point is that he wouldn't risk making the mistakes Mac had done and would thus be very careful of avoiding trying to change Loren. They had a whole life together ahead of them and he would do everything possible to make it as happy and problem-free as possible.

When the cashier told the price he gave over his credit card before Loren could and received an indignant glare in response. He mentally rolled his eyes as he signed the receipt. Why must every gesture of gentlemanly behaviour, something two _women _had taught him, his mother and his grandmother, be seen as some chauvinist thing? Why can't a woman just accept his paying for stuff without taking it as a hint that she can't pay for herself or something like that?

Something he had been thinking about before briefly crystalized then. They would have to open a joint account for household expenses and while Loren may find it offensive that she would contribute considerably less money, they would decide on a set percentage of their monthly incomes to put into the account. It would be much fairer because at his rank and years in service he earned 30,000 USD a year more than Loren. He knew agreeing on that way of contributing to the account, namely percentage-wise and not both transferring the same amount, could be a battle, but it would be a battle he was determined to win.

His mother and grandmother had raised him to be a fair and honest man, besides being a gentleman, and it would go against the grain to do otherwise.

Once the cart was full with their stuff again Harm pulled it into the main corridor and slowly headed to the exit with it. Loren went with him until Harm showed her the maternity store he'd meant and said. "I'll just take this to the car and meet you inside."

She nodded in agreement. "See you soon."

As she moved away Harm barely stopped himself from slapping her on her tight butt as a form of see-you-soon, tempted badly by that lovely posterior, but stopped himself just in time, knowing that had he done it, then Loren would've torn his arm off and beaten him to death with it.

How could such a petite woman do that to a guy almost double her weight and who was packing some very serious muscle?

Simple.

Pregnancy hormones aka mood swings.

If Harm had learnt anything it was that mood swings could make Loren more dangerous and trigger-happy than an armed junkie involuntarily going cold turkey.

Deciding to play it cooler in the future Harm started pushing his trolley towards the car, anxious to be back soon.

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REVIEW!


	44. Chapter 44

AN: You know, something baffles me. Mac is the one with the recorded history in cheating, yet people write HARM being the one to cheat and destroy their marriage/relationship with it...

Will never understand the way some people's mind work.

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**Les:** yeah, I know, I had the same feelings on that store too. The thing is, my muse had me write so much. And I'm not just using a metaphor. Usually I already have sentences and at least a rough picture of the scene/fic formed in my mind before I write it, I just write it down and polish it, unless I have to force my self to write something. And unfortunately (well, depends on how you look at it), my muse came up with such a long scene in that store.

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**LucyofJAG, Lynnp, DD2, Rittanicus, Michelle UK:** Thanks!

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I'm loving your reviews, please keep them coming!

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As Harm pushed the cart down the corridor towards the exit he, for the first time in his life, paid attention to young families, more precisely, how the kids acted, to get a clue what he had to expect in the coming years.

He quickly gave up on it because, if he continued, then what he saw would've definitely made him change his mind about fatherhood. Some kids were evil demons in disquise. 'Nuff said.

Loading the stuff into the car took little time. Harm had a good system going, which is why there were always a couple of sturdy carton boxes sitting in his trunk, the kind of boxes apples are transported in.

He was on his way to the maternity store when something in a brightly lit display caught his attention.

As he had walked on by he quickly stopped and retraced his steps, then taking the time to look at it better.

It was a lovely thing, sparkling in the way it caught light, neither gaudy, neither flashy, neither cheap. Just perfect for Loren, the woman in his life.

Making his mind up he entered the jewelry store, leaving it a few minutes later richer for something in a small jewelry box and with a lighter bank account.

But it was worth it, he just hoped she would like it.

Now the only thing to do was to find the right time to give it to her...

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Arriving into the store he looked around for Loren, but saw her nowhere.

Catching a saleslady eyeing him curiously he made his way to her, figuring she could help him out. Whether it was intentionally or not, Loren was a woman who got noticed and he was sure the saleslady had seen his roommate.

Giving a charming smile he inquired.

"Excuse me, ma'am, did you happen to see a blonde, petite, only slightly pregnant, spitfire?"

The saleswoman looked at the large man before her and quickly assessed whether it was safe to reveal the tiny woman's location or not.

You can never know what kind of sicko he could be. Yet, looking at this one, she knew there was no worry. He didn't have that crazed look in his eyes and with the very amusing, yet down-to-Earth description of the woman in question he had proven he was no stalker or someone else obssessed with the lady in question. He had not painted Loren as a perfect person, nor had he spoken with reverence, but his tone had been amused, yet caring. And with the fondness he'd delivered the word 'spitfire' it was obvious he knew her very well to not only be able to describe her as a spitfire, but to also inject that genuine, yet not-over-the-top affection into his words.

Had he deifyed her or just issued compliments, or even had a crazed or dazed look in his eyes, Martha would've quietly alerted security and had them on standby while escorting the man to the woman in question. She could've just said 'no', but what if she was wrong in her assesment? Lying to a customer could cost her her job and by alerting the security she could still insure the woman's safety if her asesment proved right.

"Yes, sir, she went into the changing room area just minutes ago." she pointed subtly in the direction and Harm smiled, thanked her and left to seek out Loren.

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Harm arrived quickly at his destination and stopped at a discrete distance and angle.

"Loren?" he called out softly.

While he had not received a response he could've sworn he'd heard low muttering by a voice very similar to Loren's. Therefore he repeated with a raised voice.

"Loren!?"

"What!?" she snapped immediately, quite obviously highly irritated. She was in a cabin two doors down.

Harm adjusted his position so they could speak more privately, without the whole store listening to them.

"You alright?"

She huffed irritably "No."

"Okaayy..." he drawled, he was still trying to figure out the mystery that was Woman and Loren especially. And a pregnant Loren, with her mood swings, many times didn't make sense at all. This was like navigating a minefield.

But he had plenty of experience with them, with real minefields and those of figurative persuasion.

Deciding that change of topic was best he requested. "How's it going with the clothes? May I see how they look on you?"

"No!" the tone was sharp and defensive and Harm frowned.

"Why not?"

'That couldn't have been a growl, could it have?' wondered Harm, referring to the weird sound that had come out of the cabin at his question.

"Because I look ridiculous. And I look fat." she finally answered and Harm couldn't help but smile.

"No, you don't." he assured her. "You're not fat and you don't even look like it."

"How would you know? You're standing on the other side of the door and can't see me." she retorted.

"Because I saw you just 15 minutes ago and you looked great, as you always do." a little flattery always helps and if Loren was in a sour mood, it would hopefully make her feel better.

"Then what's this airbag sticking to my abdomen then?"

Harm shook his head at her stubornness and sighed. He discretely tried the door and found it locked. "That's just the baby, Loren. You forget that I slept with my arms around you and my hands on your belly tonight..." his ears reddened at the admission and such a public one at that. "... and there was not an ounce of fat anywhere. The bulge you're talking about is just the baby growing and stretching out your womb."

Okay, he had definitely not meant to get that descriptive, especially in such a public place, but Loren sounded like she was in a really bad funk. And from what he could already tell, Loren's negative moods were always pretty bad these days.

He had the need to see her to make her believe it and, when he tried the door and found it unlocked, he guessed she must've needed to believe it herself.

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REVIEW!


	45. Chapter 45

Was literally blown away by your reviews, I loved them, thank you!

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I need your help on a future chapter, guys. How does a check up at an ob/gyn look like? What is the procedure?

On another note, was very surprised when no-one reacted to Harm buying something small in a jewelry store in the prev. chapter

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Also, what do you guys think about a couple naming their kids after one of the couples' ex-s? I've been reading Pretender fanfic recently and there are a LOT of fics where Jarod and Parker's kids are named after Thomas Gates. When I was still reading HM fics I even found fics where they named their kid after Brumby!!

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**Les:** great minds think alike :)

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Leyte put forth a good question: will there be Paraguay? Honestly I don't know, it wasn't written into this fic. If I decide to write it (taking your votes on this one), then Harm will NOT go after Mac - because he has a family now and Loren and the baby come first to him. Any thoughts on this and how to get her back alive, with Chegwidden being in character for that episode?

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Thanks for the reviews, keep them up!

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Entering the small cubicle he came face to face with the biggest pout he had seen in his life. Loren's eyes were impossibly wide and blue and she was looking at him with a heartbreaking sadness, while her full lower lip, even more swollen by her biting on it, stuck out like the forward mast of a sail ship. Or a battering ram on one of those ancient Roman galleas.

Then his eyes wandered down to the reason for this latest drama, the reason why Loren looked like a puppy someone had kicked.

He barely held in a grimace.

The dress was truly hideous.

No wonder it had brought the tough Loren Singer to tears.

For a second he wondered whether Loren had subconsciously sabotaged herself by trying this dress on as some kind of consequence of issues over losing her figure to the pregnancy, figure Harm himself had to admit had been lovely.

Without hesitation Harm stepped forward and pulled her into a deep, strong embrace. At the first contact Loren stiffened, but after a second she melted into him with a grateful sigh.

While brushing his hand down her blond tresses and murmuring soothing words into her ear Harm marveled how could such a tough, fiery, mostly-intentionally-unpleasant while-not-so-by-nature woman be so soft. Body-wise, because she seemed to have melted and now fit every nook, cranny and plane of his body so well that not even a sliver of gossamer could fit between them; and emotionally wise, with how she readily accepted his comfort, once she'd dropped her shields around him, and was now snuggling in his embrace.

Just as you cannot judge the insides of a house by the facade (just look at his dilapidated-looking apartment building and then at his nice, comfy apartment inside) one could obviously not judge one Loren Singer by the mask she projected for others. And that was all it was: a mask.

A hostile, angry, unscrupulous, cold-hearted woman on the outside; while on the inside she was warm, insecure, pathetically grateful for any kind word or action by the person who had proven to be reliable and honorable, she was vulnerable, soft and kind-hearted, with an amazing potential for love and just wanting someone to love and who would love her, someone who would never betray her. The mask she wore was only to protect herself from the people who had and who could hurt her and for the people who didn't care to look deeper for who she was.

Harm had always suspected there was more to this woman, ever since she had told him, while looking into his eyes, that she was neither a liar nor a thief. He had believed her then and never doubted her again. No matter how hard and relentless she was in the office she was always forthright and honest. If she didn't like you, she let you know.

And now, holding her in his arms as she just silently soaked up his presence, his strength, support and caring, Harm was damn glad he had gotten the chance to get to know the real Loren.

For, had he not gotten the chance, he was sure this amazing woman would've been lost to the world, trapped in her own prison made of fears and insecurity, with the impostor at large, and would've remained in that prison for the rest of her life and the world would never have gotten the chance to know her.

Eventually Loren broke away from him and looked down shyly, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"You know, Loren, this dress really is hideous, but it's that way already by design, it's not your fault. No woman could pull it off. Wait here and I'll be back with some nice clothes in a jippy."

He could've laughed at the sudden fear in her eyes, but he restrained himself. It was obvious she was afraid what he would find for her, but he was determined not to let her down. He lived with her after all and getting on her bad side was the last thing he wanted. Besides, he didn't want to see her this down over some clothes again.

Lightly squeezing her hand and smiling gently at her he made his way outside.

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He was back within minutes and he had to admit, even as unlikely as it was, that looking for clothes for Loren had not been as spirit-killing as escorting his previous girlfriends shopping had been. Possibly because he was running the show at the moment.

But all in all, he believed he'd made the correct choices.

He'd brought her a nice selection of clothes, ones she could wear for the next two months as well as ones she would wear until the end of her pregnancy.

He didn't know what had possessed him, but he had also selected a few things that were fashion-neutral, that Loren could wear during her next pregnancies as well.

He tried not to think about what that meant, especially because he was not yet ready to acknowledge that the thought of having a full relationship with Loren and having more kids with her, but this time kids HE got her pregnant with, was becoming quite appealing.

The selection he had brought consisted of three styles: ones that showcased and emphasized the pregnancy (since he by now knew Loren he made sure this section was the smallest), ones that masked a pregnancy as best as possible, and a couple of very stretchy pants/sweat pants/yoga pants/whatever-pants (he himself didn't know just how to classify them) and stretchy T-shirts that he thought would look nice on her within about two months and which were by design form-fitting.

Even though she wasn't as tall as Mac, for example, she was very well proportioned for her height and he was certain she wouldn't be all-belly even during the last days of her pregnancy. He knew she would be able to pull those pants/T-shirt combinations off.

Loren was finally starting to let go of the insecurites and fears connected to her pregnancy, among them the urge to hide her condition. He hoped she would soon be far enough to not only accept her pregnancy, but to also be willing to not be afraid of letting it show. Someday, Harm wished, she would be happy about it and, as other happy pregnant women, would display it proudly with the right clothes. For this reason he had chosen these casual, form fitting, stretchy clothes.

He had seen many other women wear them and while it had done nothing for him, the mental of Loren wearing them a month or two from now, DID do things to him. Things he had not expected.

At first he had been afraid he'd become one of those weirdoes who get off on pregnant women only, no matter which woman it was, but when he'd noticed only Loren did that to him he'd relaxed. Loren... well, he could explain and rationalize that: she was carrying the baby he had claimed for his own and was already loving it as it was his and therefore that affection had naturally spread to include Loren as well, with her being the yet-unborn child's mother.

Loren looked dubiously at him as he presented her with his choices.

She had already changed into her own clothes and returned the gruesome dress back to where she'd found it. She was waiting for him in front of the cabins by the time he returned.

Giving her a mute plea he was gratified when she huffed only slightly, grabbed a couple and entered the cubicle.

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REVIEW!


	46. Chapter 46

If you want to read the fic just skip to the actual story in this update, but if you're interested in a monologue about today's state of society on matters "sex vs killing on TV", keep on reading.

Thanks for the reviews, please keep them up!

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Imagine my surprise when I read on the internet that there was a big humbug about one of my fav video games: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, specifically the Hot Coffee Mod, which btw. must be specifically ADDITIONALLY downloaded off fan sites (it's not on the original site nor on the games' DVD) and additionally installed into the game. It's not a part of the game and you have to mod the game to get access to it.

Hell, imagine my surprise when I saw on youtube a session of the CONGRESS discussing a damn video game, instead of doing something better, like running the country (and not into the ground). And of course Hillary just HAD to use the opportunity to get herself some publicity and political points... I doubt she and all the others have EVER played the game and actually know what they're talking about.

Yes, there's profanity in the game and violence, which is why it's rated M, but if they'd just try to look deeper, they would find quite a cynical and hot critique on today's society, on corruption (like the C.R.A.S.H. and Rampart Scandal plotline in the game), gangs, gang philosophy way of thinking and life, on police brutality, hypocricy, Church and sex, double standards, secret agencies, police, military,... Or they did play the game and realize it actually has a powerful critical statement on today's state of society and that's why they persecute it.

I have no love for hypocrits and politicians, whether professional or amateur, I don't know any of them that isn't a self-serving "I'll turn around and forget all my promises as soon as I get elected" bstard.

The critics of this game are forgetting one thing: the game is rated M (from 17 years onward) and by the age of 17 a large percentage of kids, if not most, aren't even virgins anymore... So, they've experienced that mod themselves in real life already, it's nothing new for them. Most of the players of this game are adults, btw...

Which makes the "You have to be at least 17 to watch sex" quite unlifelike and unrealistic... and it makes a under-17-year-old ask him/herself: "Why do I have to be at least 17 to WATCH something I did just yesterday/today with my bf/gf? And why then can I watch people get beaten, shot, slaughtered, their guts cut out, their blood spilled and their body parts flying around if I'm supposedly too young to watch sex? Smells of hypocricy."

So, the "good intending" public servants are raising hell over something that just depicts a completely natural act between two consenting **adults**, an act that most if not all the players of the game have already indulged in personally. And those who haven't, are forbidden to play anyway, cause they're younger than the rating of the game permits...

And if they are younger and they still played then I would ask the PARENTS why did they buy their kid a game (or allow the kid to buy/play it) that is rated too high for him/her in the first place.

But what most pisses me off, not just about this humbug around the game, but the double standards on american and other nations' TVs, is that they have no problem showing people with their limbs or heads or other parts of their bodies blown off or otherwise severed (Friday 13 and other assorted horror movies, that to me personally are just exuses for producers/scriptwriters to vent their sadistic and many times sick imaginations (if I'd have the authority I'd send them all for psych evals, cause a normal person can't come up with such brutal and sick ways of not only kiling someone, but also doing it in the most grusome bloody way), or the regular action movies with all the violence (beatings, shootings,...) and profanities and the killing, but they have a problem with the most natural act there is, the act that is the sole reason why the species is even existing anymore.

When did humanity change so much that violence is completely acceptable, while sex is something to persecute and hide away and be ashamed of? How did we get to the point where violence as acceptable anyway? And why do we not find this a cause for worry?

And how did we get to the point of everyone being more concerned if an under-17 sees even a second of a sexual scene (I'm not talking about hard-core porn, but have scenes from movies, like Top Gun, in mind), but they don't care and are not concerned by the prospect of kids seeing people get killed and brutalized in the most horrible ways?

And for my last words: I'm absolutely certain most of you don't agree with what I said, but before you blast me please remember the difference in our ages, cultural background, gender, different life experiences,...

What I wrote was not to provoke anyone, it was just to get it off my chest, cause this topic (the differences between how sex and how violence is treated) is something that's been bothering me for a long time.

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She seemed satisfied with the blue and yellow summer dresses, if her expression when she came out to show him was anything to go by.

When they'd made plans for this trip he'd secretly sneaked a peak at the sizes of her clothes (but he did NOT do the same for her underwear, that would be invading her privacy, not to mention be lecherous and dirty) so he knew what sizes to pick out. Actually, he'd looked for at least a size larger than her clothes at home were...

Harm had to admit the colors and the style suited her.

The blue dress emphasized her ice blue eyes, while the yellow one emphasized the beautifully golden color of her hair.

The two dresses were from the group that made no secret of Loren's new title and Harm gave his approval with a wide grin since he was sure Loren wouldn't approve whistling. While pants are great for showing off a woman's butt and her legs Harm had always preferred skirts and dresses on the women he was in a relationship with. Loren seemed to prefer skirts and dresses as well as that was what most of her wardrobe consisted of.

She blushed at his obvious appreciation and pretended to look down at dress, while in reality trying to hide her pleased smile.

Loren was not vain in any respect, but she did groom herself carefully, partly because of the military regulations concerning appropriate looks and partly out of a normal need to look good, to not look messy, neglected. And, as any other being, she wasn't unaffected by other's approval and appreciation of how she looked, especially if that person was a handsome man. And since they were now living together, Harm's approval meant more than anyone else's.

She went back into the cabin with a little spring to her walk and as he watched her move away, her hips swaying magnetically, Harm was almost struck down off the chair by the sudden revelation that he was having fun.

This was a first... before he'd always loathed shopping with women, especially for clothes and shoes, and tried to avoid being dragged along, but this time he actually wasn't bored to tears. He speculated whether it was because this time he had an active role and actually felt helpful in the whole process, by picking out try-outs for her, instead of just sitting there and watching as the woman picked stuff out and then spent an eternity in the cabin, before modelling it for him for just a few seconds. It took him a minute to recover from the shock of that realization and he was himself again, though more thoughtful, by the time Loren came back.

This time she was wearing one of those stretchy sweat pants/T-shirt combinations and Harm's jaw dropped. For a second, while staring at her mutely, he wondered whether his heart was still beating or not, cause he was sure it had stopped. She looked gorgeous, to put it plainly.

The pants were loose enough not to be too revealing, the stretchy part of the material was mostly in the waist area. The leggings were loose in a sweat-pants kinda way, but the material was softer and thinner. They were made for being worn in the summer, after all. It was the upper part of the pants that contributed to his lack of oxygen however. The front part clung to her growing belly, making Harm remember once again that this was really happening, that they would really have a baby in just a few months, but was not tight enough to cause any kind of discomfort; while the rear hugged her derriere lovingly, like a caress of a lover. The view was glorious and tight. The T-shirt did the same as the pants, it was like second skin, but did not cause discomfort, emphasizing Loren's growing belly and generous breasts. The neckline was modest and the sleeves short.

The color of the pants was that popular very pale blue while the T-shirt was white.

This time he couldn't stop himself in time and a whistle escaped. Loren blushed dark crimson and glared at him, but couldn't make a good show of it.

Nonetheless Harm donned a chastised expression while still subtly checking her out. Which Loren noticed of course.

Haughtily she tossed her hair back, turned around and stalked back into the cabin. Her pissed-off demeanor was belied by the slightly exaggerated sway to her hips, which immediately drew Harm's eyes.

As soon as all the hormones were vented out of his brain Harm shook his head, exasperated at himself.

'God, what is wrong with you?' he chastised himself. 'Play it cool, man, remember? You're acting like a hormonal 16 year old, tongue on the ground just cause she wore something tighter than a burlap sack.'

--

But he knew what was the reason for his strong physical response to Loren... it had been 2 years since he had last made love to a woman and he'd been in the state of constant sexual tension, partly from his UST relationship with Mac and partly from complete lack of 'action'. Not that he wanted it, had he wanted to get physical gratification it wouldn't have been a problem finding a willing woman. But he was not Mac, he was capable of waiting to get what he wanted and, unlike Mac, he wasn't capable of taking what he wanted from anyone else, but the person he wanted it with.

Or was the difference between them in that that to Harm the partner he'd share sex, intimacy and family with, was more important to him, while to Mac the sex and kids were more important than who she shared it with, the identity of her sexual partner/father of her kids not being important, just as long as they could service her needs?

Some would argue that he'd done exactly that with Renee, but they would have to be reminded that he and Renee had started dating soon after he'd returned from flying, during those first days of Mac freezing him out and pulling her new rank on him, and by the time Mac had had a sudden and unpredictable change of heart in Sydney and wanted a quick affair with him while they were still down there, he'd been with Renee for months. Mac had in fact knowingly came onto a taken man, tried to get him to cheat on his girlfriend and over the next several years she had tried to force him to leave the aforementioned girlfriend for her (thus being unfaithful and untrue to her fiancee behind his back), without even giving Harm ANY insurance at all that he wouldn't do that in vain.

He had started dating Renee during the time Mac had been single and available, well, as much as she had always made herself available to him...

Which means he had not settled for Renee, to try to get from her what he'd wanted from Mac, but he got together with Renee becaushe he wanted _Renee_, and was not settling for her. He thus got from Renee what he'd wanted from Renee alone and no-one else.

What it all came down to was the fact that he had remained celibate after breaking up with Renee, no matter how many offers he received from women, and there had always been many interested women, because if he had sex, he'd wanted it with Mac only.

With the recent letting go of Mac and of dreams of future with her Harm had begun a slow readjustment of attitude that would culminate in him being open to a sexual relationship with a woman other than Mac.

And since he had committed himself to Loren for life, was living with her, the only woman his mind and body were starting to regard as a potential sexual/romantic partner was one Loren Singer.

Which is also the reason for his increasingly frequent and increasingly stronger reaction to Loren.

Sexual frustration of a healthy male in his prime who was not 'getting any' and was beginning to see Loren as the only possible sexual partner was making Harm intensely sensitive to Loren.

To her presence, her body heat, her scent, her touch, her voice. But it went beyond just physical. Loren's intelligence, wit, charisma, the force of her personality and the strength of her will, her true personality as he was uncovering it daily, her little quirks, her strengths, her flaws, the way her eyes blazed and her cheeks flushed when she was angry (which made her so gorgeous Harm caught himself once almost subconsciously provoking a fight just to see her like that) and the way they softened when she was emotional,...

All this conspired to leaving Harm extremely sensitive to Loren and he was slowly starting to fall for her.

The only thing left was for him to realize it.

Well, apart from him getting up the courage to do anything about it...

Which, considering how gunshy he'd become it would be a miracle if that happened before the baby was born. Or in this millenium...

And... there was Loren to consider, her feelings on the matter, and who knew how she'd react to him showing her affections of a decidedly romantic nature and how she'd feel about such a change of their relationship.

She was already stressed-out and overwhelmed by the changes she was experiencing, from pregnancy and single motherhood to moving in and sharing her life and parenthood with probably the most unexpected man, she didn't need his confusion on top of all that too.

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REVIEW!


	47. Chapter 47

I need your help on something for a fic I'm writing: what is THE lamest pick-up line a guy can use? But the pick-up line shouldn't be dirty, sleazy or sexual.

Also, what is _the _corniest line, but one that works?

And finally, please give an example of both these categories that you yourselves had been subject to or used yourself, if you're a man.

Thanks for the help!

Thanks also for the reviews and please keep them up!

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Loren rejected about half of the stuff Harm had picked out, which he termed a success, having believed she'd reject everything.

The rest of the visit was spent looking at various paraphernalia babies and mothers need.

As they walked among the cribs and changing tables Loren's features turned tender and without thought her hand transferred to her belly, rubbing the small bulge tenderly.

Harm had never seen anything more heart-tugging than Loren walking among the aisles and rubbing the spot where their baby lay growing.

He had never really thought about what getting a woman pregnant, going with her through the pregnancy and then raising their children together would be like, therefore he'd been unprepared for the overwhelming feelings threatening to swallow him.

He'd wanted a family for a long time, but after Diane's death had never really believed he'd ever have it. Somehow all the plans he'd ever made for life had always failed, leaving him standing there alone and with nothing.

And now, when he finally had it all he was deathly afraid of something happening that would take it all away from him.

In a feat of courage he moved in closer to Loren and slipped his arm around her slim shoulders, drawing her into his body.

He felt her startled blue orbs whip around and settle on his face, but studiously ignored them, looking around the products with fake fascination, while being finely tuned to the messages Loren's body was sending him.

She was surprised, but not repulsed by being held by him so close and, when she turned her attention back to the crib she'd been watching, he relaxed. He had to admit, he was loving this - walking along with Loren and having an arm around her, feeling her warm body close to his. Just too bad he would have to let go of her at some point.

In the end they decided only on one piece of baby clothing, namely a blue-black-white camo-patterned one-piece, stearing clear of the olive ones. If their baby was to follow them into the military, and they both secretly hoped she wouldn't, she would be Navy, like her parents, and not a Jarhead or a Zoomie or a Grunt.

Loren's selection was waiting for them at the cash register and, when they were rung up, Loren gave her credit card over before Harm could. And was surprised when she realized he hadn't even gone for his wallet.

She smirked, he knew boundaries already. These were her clothes, not something they'd both use, like the groceries, so she should pay for them. Yet, she couldn't help the thought that if they were married they would be paying for everything with the same credit card. Then wondered where had the thought of her and Harm in connection to marriage come from.

Finally she dismissed it as the work of her hormones tugging on her romantic strings, where the baby came only to a woman and man bound together for life by a legal paper and a couple of rings. She dismissed that silly notion, since when would Harm want to marry her anyway - what they had was just an agreement to raise the baby, not any love connection or agreement to love, honor, respect, cherish and be faithful to each other for life.

The idea was probably just a remnant of the dreams she'd had as a young girl of a prince or a knight in shining armor coming for her and taking her away to his castle where they'd have a large family and live happily ever after. 10 years later she'd hated Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen for making her believe in the idea of a happily ever after, when it was clear she'd never get one.

But she couldn't quiet the little voice inside her that kept insisting that those fairy tales were all true and she was right now experiencing the beginning of her own happily ever after. With Harm.

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Harm was carrying the bags containing Loren's clothes, with the woman herself walking alongside him, looking at the shops while walking, when he suddenly heard an extremely girly squeal of delight.

He continued walking when he realized that the squeal he'd heard had been Loren, and not some teenager as he had believed, and he was surprised by her doing something so utterly... girly. Then he noticed that she wasn't with him anymore and he looked around.

The first thing he saw was the big red sign with the white block letters saying SALE! 50 PERCENT OFF!. With dread he then noticed what the shop was selling: hand bags, purses and the like. Hell, to make it a complete disaster, they were selling shoes too!

He groaned, having had enough experience with women to know that there was no way she'd be out of there soon.

Or even in the next hour...

Not wanting to look weird hanging around in the middle of the corridor he decided to take action. He sent Loren an SMS telling her he was going to put their purchases in the car, receiving no confirmation.

Not that he'd expected any.

From what he could see through the windows of the shop there was a full-scale battle raging inside, claws and all. Not that any of the women had a chance against Loren. Loren was a force of nature on a normal, good even, day already, but with those "wondeful" pregnancy mood swings she was dangerous as hell. What's the saying about not messing with pregnant women?

Well, it went double for a pregnant Loren.

Shrugging he set off towards the parking lot.

20 minutes later he was back, not having received a call from Loren nor an SMS, thus guessing she was still inside.

He admitted to himself that he wasn't brave aka foolish enough to brave a store full of sale-enthused women so he looked around for a bench.

Spotting one he set off towards it with a resigned sigh and took a seat. There was another guy, around his age, already sitting there who sent him a commiserating look. "Yours too?"

"Yeah." Harm nodded resignedly.

The man then pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket, showing them to Harm in a question and, upon receiving an affirmative, started shuffling them.

Soon the two men were deep into the game, not noticing the time fly. Thankfully.

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REVIEW!


	48. Chapter 48

For the last couple of days I've been playing what is without a doubt THE best video game of all times: HALF LIFE 2 and both of it's sequels Episode One and Episode Two (Valve, get off your fat asses and finish Episode Three already).

Not only are the graphics some of the best I've ever seen, together with the physics engine and the mental challenges, a totally immersive and epic plot, but there is actually a suble, yet extremely powerful and masterfully written love story going on in the background between the main character Dr. Gordon Freeman and the female support character Alyx Vance. She's gorgeous but not in the plastic Playboy playmate kind of way with breast implants, but in a more natural sort of way, in the the pretty-nerdy-girl(without glasses)-next-door-who-kicks--big-bullie's-ass way, but she's definitely gorgeous, has brains the size of Texas - is a hacker, an engineer, knows her thing about guns and combat, she kicks ass, and she slowly develops a thing for Gordon aka YOU.

I may be weird, but I think I've fallen in love with a computer game character. Oy!

Fortunately, I'm not the only one. From what I found I'm in a very good and very numerous company, lol, hehe.

But she's still realistic, she's affected by seeing what the enemy (aliens) do to humans, she gets tired and weary, she is weak after the Vorts heal her and save her from death, during which they interweave her life with Gordon's..., she cries, she cheers, she yells, she's happy, sad, depressed,... and best of all, she lets Gordon see it. Which in my mind makes her only stronger and not weak.

Valve created a character engine that gives all characters 40!! facials muscles with which they create a whole spectrum of facial expression that express feelings and emotions. And it's a 4!! year old game.

Alyx even blushes and becomes embarrassed when her dad suggests she does her part for the humanity after the suppression field is down (the humanity is almost extinct because aliens have invaded Earth, killed and enslaved humans, putting a suppression field that prevents children being conceived anywhere on the planet) and has kids with Gordon, but not before immediately glancing at Gordon at her dad's suggestion as if the idea really isn't that bad, then playfully hits her father on his arm, rolls her eyes and hides her face in her hands.

Then there are the scenes where she and Gordon part ways when you have to fulfill a mission and she takes a moment and gently, lovingly asks you to take care of yourself and come back (the 'to her' is practically heard). She even shuffles her foot as she blushes and looks down, saying that!

And of course the flirty times when you're in a totally dark underground section, and she suddenly makes zombie noises or when she asks Gordon if he has any spare room in his Hazardous Environment suit when they come upon a radiactive section. Hell, she even calls out "Hey, boyfriend, wait up!" teasingly when you get too ahead of her.

Or the way she happily jumps into her father's embrace when they're reunited after the Citadel exploded and she and Gordon travelled across the country to him. And then there's the heartbreaking scene at the end of Episode Two.

And with the masterful way the game is written, the gamer actually becomes Gordon. There are no lines Gordon says, he's mute, therefore he doesn't say how he feels about anything, the only thing you see of him are his hands and since he's mute you actually feel instead of him about things.

Man, when Alyx got stabbed through (she survived) and I couldn't get to her I felt so helpless and angry.

Then there's the Resistance movement that resembles the Rebels from Star Wars and the Combine as the Empire...

Oh, hell, why am I just yabbing about it? Go out, borrow the game and play it! You'll see for yourselves what I mean.

--

I'm gonna let you go back to the fic and in this part is the end of their advanture of going shopping as a family for the first time.

And as soon as I post this I'm going to go play the game again.

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An hour later the two men were startled out of their game by four frighteningly similar feminine throat clearings.

Looking up, they noticed four females staring them down with their hands on their hips.

There stood Loren and beside her a middle aged woman with two teenaged daughters, all glaring down at them in an identical manner.

That glare, that stance and that attitude towards their men who get bored while they women do their women-thing must be something women are born with, cause there was no way they could've been copying each other intentionally.

And they all had shopping bags with them. Several each.

Oh, happy day...

"So... how did it go?" Harm asked to break the glare.

"_It _went well." retorted Loren and from the corner of his eye Harm could was able to see his card-mate trying to deal with his own pack.

But the guy was obviously an old hand in handling women in such situations, since he'd been married for 20 years and besides had also two daughters (Harm's heart squeazed painfully at the thought that the guy was the same age as he and had such old daughters, it made him aware of how much of his life he'd wasted on his career, the Navy and dead-end relationships - except for his relationship with Diane which had shown great promise until her young life had been so cruelly cut short), tallying up the count of females in the household to an unfair advantage.

He returned the guy's wave goodbye as they parted, each family going their own way.

"What did you get?" asked Harm curiously as he tried to take the bags from Loren to carry them, but was thwarted in his plans. Whatever it was, Loren was protecting it with jealous possessiveness, not trusting him with the contents.

Loren peered at him suspiciously, to check if he was about to make fun of her, but then showed him the contents of the shopping bag.

"Another handbag?" exclaimed Harm exasperated, on the verge of rolling his eyes. "Aren't the other thousand you have enough?"

She glared at him. "There are never enough handbags. And I do not have that many!"

He scoffed. "Yeah, right. You're forgetting that I'm the one who packed them all up and then got them to our apartment when you were moving in." And didn't it feel good to him to say OUR apartment... "I distinctly remember spending at least an hour on getting all of your handbags and purses moved. It took two drives to get them all. So, tell me, what makes this one so different from the others that you have already?"

After a lifetime of living alone to permanently share living space and life with someone felt damn good to Harm. He'd wished for the domestic bliss a committed partnership and family brings for a long time now and now that he had it his only plans were to bask in it and never, ever let go of it.

"It goes with my shoes." mumbled Loren.

He cocked an eyebrow curiously. "Which shoes? I don't remember you having any in that color."

"And I should know." he quickly put in, which made Loren roll her eyes. He would never let her live it down.

But, honestly, she didn't mind much. Loren was enjoying their bickering and their banter and the sole fact that she could even bicker about domestic quirks with someone.

For so long she'd been so lonely and then so terrified of being a single mother, that now that she was no longer alone nor lonely and was living with the man who had committed himself to her and to her baby for life, who also happened to be the best man, scratch that, the best person she knew and a damn handsome one at that, she was practically giddy.

Not that she would show it, of course...

At his words Loren opened the other bag and there were some new high heeled shoes in there. Harm had to admit they would look damn good on her and he couldn't wait to see her wear them.

Perhaps he would take her out to a fancy dinner to give her a chance to enjoy herself, dress up and wear them...

But he still rolled his eyes skywards.

Women!

Then it hit him. High heels?

"Loren?"

"Hmmm?" she looked towards him, thinking about something.

"High heels?"

She raised an eyebrow, which he already recognized as her silent demand to explain. And sometimes as a warning that he was pissing her off.

"Cause I know for a fact that you're not wearing high heels because of the pregnancy, with your lower back aching and swelling ankles." The eyebrow received a sharp arch, which meant he was starting to piss her off.

Obviously the wrong thing to say.

Talking to a woman about female stuff and feelings was sometimes like navigating a mine field. But talking to a pregnant Loren about the fact that her ankles are swelling, in connection to high heels or not, is like playing Russian Roulette with 4 bullets in the chamber instead of only 1. "I'm just sayin'..." he defended himself.

"So, what's the question?" she snapped.

"Why would you buy high heels if you can't wear them and won't be able to for another 5 months at least?"

"The price was reduced by half. I just had to have them."

Which made some strange sort of sense.

And it definitely scared him that he could understand Loren's logic...

Then before he could've stopped himself Harm did the stupidest thing he had ever done, in his present and past lives combined. Namely said the following words. "So, do you have shoes and a handbag to go with this dress?" Gesturing to the dress she was wearing.

Loren stopped in her tracks abruptly, her eyes going comically wide.

It took Harm a second to realize that she wasn't walking alongside him anymore and when he turned and saw her expression a cold feeling of dread settled into his stomach.

Her sparkling ice blue eyes zeroed in on his and she launched herself at him, grabbed him for a quick kiss on his lips and exclaimed. "I knew I forgot something! Thank you, Harm, you're a genius!"

With that she shoved the bags into his hands and ran back towards the store.

He'd never known a pregnant woman could move so fast until he saw Loren running back to the store.

Harm stood staring mutely after her, the bags in his hands and stunned speechless.

What had just happened? Had Loren really kissed him? Why?

Oh, yeah, that's why. He remembered now and the magnitude of his mistake made him completely forget all about the kiss. It was bigger than a mere contact of lips, bigger than the slight course of direction their relationship had taken, albeit at a very slow speed.

Now he was stading there, the bags in his hands and cursing himself blue.

In his own opinion he was no genius, contrary to what Loren had claimed.

In his own opinion he was an idiot.

The biggest idiot to have ever walked upon this planet.

He'd just HAD to ask her that question, hadn't he? He'd just had to send her right back into that store to not surface for at least another hour...

A young man, 21 tops, walked by him then and Harm grabbed him by the shoulders. The youth looked up terrified at the 6 feet 4 inches tall heavily muscled man who was holding him in a steel-like grip and looking at him with frightening intensity.

Harm moved his head closer to the guy and looked him seriously in the eyes. "Kid, let me give you a piece of advice for life. Never, EVER ask your girlfriend or wife if she needs shoes. You'll regret it, trust me."

Then he let go of the boy and, sighing deeply, he resumed his walk in the direction of the parking lot, resolved to never again go with Loren to a mall.

Then when he realized just how unrealistic that decision was he amended it to at least thinking over very carefully what he'd say while they were there.

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REVIEW!


	49. Chapter 49

Hey, I'm back from my vacation, loved it, except for the pre-last 2 days when there were storms and a filthy sea because of them. Well, at least I got to stay one more day because of them since I was with my bike :)

It was great. The sun, the sea, the swimming and snorkeling, the beautiful women in nothing but bikinis during the day and really nicely dressed at night, many great bikes... What more can a man want?

Realized only too late I could've posted this before I left, so accept my apologies.

I KNOW it's criminally short, but I'll update sooner than this one (reviews always motivate me to write faster).

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On another note, I would also like to point out that we've been recently joined by a new writer who is a Harm/Meg fan, a Cliff Robinson. Chek out his fantastic fic "You were meant for me" on this site, it's rated M, so adjust your browser accordingly.

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Harm gazed with heartbreaking sadness at his beloved, his eyes skimming her beautiful full curves. His heart was literally breaking in half from the pain, this was namely the last time he'd see her. If he'd see her again she would be someone else's. And he loved her so... He didn't know how he'd deal with seeing her with some other guy.

Letting his hand caress her firm side he whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm gonna miss you. You've been so good to me these past few years, treating me like no other. I'll never be able to replace you and even if I tried I know I wouldn't find one that could compare to you. You'll always have a piece of my heart, where-ever you go, no matter how long it's been since you left me. Take good care of yourself. I love you."

Then he pressed a kiss on his fingers, which he then touched to her dear features.

Sniffing quietly he turned to the man standing a few meters behind him and gave a nod.

The man's eyes shone in understanding and compassion, he knew how Harm felt. "Don't you worry, Mr Rabb, I'll take good care of her."

Harm nodded and glanced back at his beloved. "You do that."

The man got in the car and drove away, quickly disappearing behind the bend of the street.

Harm stood there for a long time, staring at the spot he'd last seen his Rally-red Corvette, feeling the pain of his heart breaking, yet knowing sacrifices had to be made for happiness, for example for having a family. And selling a dangerous vehicle was one of these sacrifices, he couldn't risk leaving Loren and the baby behind, couldn't risk been just one more person to abandon Loren, by getting dying in a car crash. The Corvette was too low, light, unsafe and thus dangerous to keep it, plus they'd need the money. He knew he was doing the right thing, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

As he turned around to walk back inside the building he brushed one hand over his face, wiping away the lone tear.

He was going to miss her.

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REVIEW!


	50. Chapter 50

During my vacation I had access to satellite TV. Amazing technology. 626 channels, most of them unfortunately encoded. I watched everything from CNN, BBC World, to Korean TV, Maroccan TV, Al Jazeera (both english and arabic), Al Masriya, etc. Was most impressed by Al Jazeera because the propaganda we are subjected to in my country portrays the picture of an extremist TV station, led by bearded and hooded terrorists with AKs in their hands while on air, filming in caves. The truth couldn't be farther from this propaganda, the main anchor is a beautiful young middle-eastern woman, impeccably professionally dressed in a western style suit (no trace of hijab anywhere), obviously very intelligent and educated, with an accent that shows she received her education at a british university of high calibre, other anchors are mostly Caucasian, with british accents (either born Brits or only schooled there), also quite intelligent and highly educated. The expertise of the anchors and support staff and the quality of the programme itself is on par with the best western TV stations. Most of the anchors are Brits, or Brit-schooled (heavy Brit accents, not faked, but learned by living there) and they even have a British noble working for them, Sir David Frost with his show Frost Over The World.

The world truly is but a small village. If that is good or bad is on you to decide.

--

Loved all your reviews, please keep them up.

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The next day he made good on his promise to himself about looking for some books about pregnancy written for the fathers-to-be.

Thinking it would be easier to just ask the person manning (or is it womanning) the register he did just that.

The blank look he received in return had definitely not been what he'd expected.

He'd expected some kind of help and certainly not that incredulous look that just demanded 'Why the hell would there be books about pregnancy for men?'

He'd barely stopped himself from snapping at the woman that, yes, men ARE usually fully involved in pregnancy when their women are pregnant, are not just sperm donors who's job ends when the woman is impregnated, but most of them are full-time fathers, being there from the first vomitting into the toilet to their kids going to college and thus they need some kind of manual for it.

Pissed off he went to look for the book himself.

Getting there he saw he was right, the books were written with the mothers in mind, couples at best, but no books for fathers only, fathers being only on the fringe of the writer's awareness.

He wanted and needed a book that was about the father's POV, that explained in plain terms what was and what would be going on with Loren and how he could help, what he shouldn't do/say and an honest and straightforward explanation of what kind of behaviour a man has to expect from his pregnant wife/girlfriend.

After much looking he finally found it.

Hidden in the corner, as if ashamed of it's own existence (or because of the cashier's belief that men don't have anything to do with the pregnancy beyond donating genes), was the book he'd been looking for, the only of it's kind.

Harm gratefully grabbed the volume titled "A man's guide to pregnancy: How to live with a pregnant person and get out of it alive." by John Zakour.

It was exactly what he'd been looking for, the answer to every expectant father's prayers and the end to his search for help.

Written by a man for other men, written by a guy who's already gone through it for those who were about to go through it or were going through it already. As he later got to find out the added qualifications of the writer were a Ph.D. in Human Behaviour.

Gratefully he grabbed it and headed for the register, glaring defiantly and triumphantly as he handed the book over to the cashier.

With a relieved grin he paid for his purchase, ignoring the woman's glare, and left the shop with a satisfied gait.

In the following months he would be worshipping the writer of the book as a god for writing it, for it would get him through many a scrape alive and prevent him from doing mistakes or saying something that would result in him getting a clothes-iron to his head, which was what had happened to Chegwidden during Marcela's pregnancy.

Later, when Loren was already asleep, he retreated to the living room, leaving only a small lamp to create light for him so he could read in peace.

From what he read in there he was damned glad he and Loren had gotten together while she was already in her second trimester and not sooner or later because it seemed to be the least dangerous to his physical and mental well-being of the three semesters.

Besides getting informed and educated he also got very much amused by the writer's wicked sense of humor, to the point that he decided to reschedule the reading because of the danger of waking Loren up with his laughter.

It was not a thick book, like some other pregnancy books are, but it was more informative and helpful than any he'd ever seen. It was well worth what he'd paid for it, he would've bought it even had the price been ten times bigger than it had been, it still would've been worth it.

Harm namely loved living, especially since this enigmatic woman had entered his life, and he had the feeling that this book would insure his continued existence.

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REVIEW!


	51. Chapter 51

I can take absolutely no credit for the title of the book mentioned in the previous part. The book actually exists in real life, with this exact title, so does it's author.

Loved the reviews, please keep them up!

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Loren stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind herself, locking it and then taking off her shoes. Tiredly she hung up her coat and her cover, then stretched and yawned mightily. The work was tiring and the farther along she was the more she got exhausted. Not to mention sooner.

Gratefully stepping further into the warm abode she looked around sleepily, happy to finally be home.

Home.

It'd been her home for many moths now, her home with Harm and their child. The first home she really loved in her life.

But it wasn't the living space that was home to her.

It was the people that lived here with her.

The man who'd taken her into his apartment and then into his heart.

The man who'd put her down as a co-owner of this small piece of heaven.

The man who'd confessed to possessing feelings of a decidedly romantic nature for her, after 2 months of living together, when he couldn't keep them in any longer.

The man she'd come to love after he had given her a fresh new start at life and more trust, freedom, support and love than any other person in her life.

The man who had taken another man's child for his own and rescued her from the bottomless pit of despair and terror she'd fallen into at the thought of being a single parent.

The man who was presently curiously absent, considering the last couple of months he had made it a tradition to welcome her home with a warm kiss.

Suddenly she felt a swift kick against the side of her full, over-stretched womb and she smiled, reaching down to tenderly caress her very large rock-hard belly, soothing the child within. Being eight months pregnant she looked like she had one of those inflatable large beach balls stuck beneath her uniform and she couldn't wait to get out of her clothes. Preferrably naked under the bed covers with an equally naked and amorous Harm.

Looking around she noticed the apartment was empty and called out softly. "Harm?"

Nothing.

Stepping forward she intended to go on a search for the man of her life when something rustled under her feet.

Looking down she saw a path of dried red-rose petals leading from the front door.

Curious, she put down her briefcase and followed the path into the bedroom. She noticed the impeccably made bed, but it wasn't where the path was leading her. No, the path was leading into the bathroom.

A little excited by now she undid her tie, her jacket, blouse and skirt. Dressed only in her maternity underwear she pushed open the bathroom door only to gasp in surprised delight.

The bathroom lights were off, but the room still glowed.

There were candles positioned on every surface in the room, even on the floor, the bathtub had candles all around it's edge and many candles were positioned so they were reflected in the mirrors. Next to the tub stood a small metallic round table, on top of which sat a bucket full of ice with her favorite non-alcoholic (because she was pregnant) wine cooling in it, next to a basket of strawberries looking so delicious Loren's mouth watered. They were large, blood red and absolutely tempting.

Also on the table was a folded paper, which Loren picked up and read.

_Enjoy your soak._

_H._

Short and to the point. Peering into the bathtub she saw it was filled with water and scented bubbles and upon checking the water she discovered it was still warm. Harm had obviously left the apartment just before she'd entered. It was obviously a very meticulously planned thing.

This was one of the very few things she regretted about being pregnant: her inability to soak herself in steaming hot water, because it would be harmful to their baby.

Interesting how one man can change the world, for example for one lonely, scared woman: before she'd entwined her life with Harm's forever she could not imagine even one positive thing about being pregnant, but because of him her whole outlook on life had changed and she now couldn't imagine anything better than being pregnant with their child and enjoyed her condition thoroughly. _He_ made it pleasurable. She wondered what he thought about having more kids...

Quickly pulling off her functional undergarments she sank into the tub, moaning erotically with pleasure. Not as good as makinglove with Harm, nor as good as his foot- and back-rubs, but magnificent nonetheless.

It was almost an hour and two warm-water-refills later that she heard the bathroom door open and, turning her head lazily, saw the man of her heart standing on the thresh-hold.

Her irises widened and darkened to black at the sight of this magnificent specimen of the human race.

Slowly, sensually he neared her.

When he was next to the tub he reached over and took shampoo from the shelf. Pouring the fragrant liquid into his hands he warmed it up a bit then began spreading it in her lush hair, now dark blond from the water.

Mellowed by the wine, strawberries and her love for him Loren moaned and groaned as he massaged her scalp with a skill she'd experienced only by the hands of a professional masseur. She heard herself only from far away, too deep into this exquisite pleasure. The sighs, moans and whimpers that were leaving her throat were so erotic they were almost pornographic and they had a solid effect on Harm.

She could feel her own body responding to the ministrations as well, as if it was about to be made love to, making her more responsive and sensitive to his touch and having all the needed regions lubricating to ease Harm's passage into her. She didn't know how he could still find her attractive, with her being as big as the Goodyear blimp, but he never failed to daily prove her she was the sexiest woman alive to him.

After he'd rinsed her hair he repeated the whole process. When Loren's hair was so clean it squaked when he ran his hand down it he finally stopped. Bending down to first press a loving kiss on Loren's lips, followed by a kiss on each of her swollen large nipples, standing fully erect and darkened to dark brown by her pregnancy, he concluded his journey at her burgeoning belly, where their hope for the future was still growing.

Finally he stuck his hand into the water, uncaring that he was getting his shirt wet, his hand brushing, as it passed, her large belly, then her blond curls and finally her womanhood, blood-swollen and yearning for him, before he grabbed the plug and let the water drain out of the tub.

--

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	52. Chapter 52

Thanks for the reviews, loved them, please keep them up!

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As the water began draining he put his strong arms around Loren and helped her into a standing position. As she was standing before him naked, wet and shivering from her intense arousal and sudden draft, which had her large nipples standing at attention, for a second drawing his hungry gaze, he claimed the large towel and dried his beloved. He did not towel her carefully, because with what they were both planning, looking forward to, it would be a waste. Their next destination would namely be the bed and after they'd made love time after time they would both be in a very urgent need for a shower again. When he was done he took a smaller towel gently and towel-dried her hair.

Once he was done he swiftly picked her up in his strong arms and carried her out of the bathroom and to the bed, where he laid her out in the middle of the matress.

Lowering his lips to hers he showed her yet again just how love can be shown through a mere contact of lips. After a few minutes he shifted lower to worship her swollen, heavy breasts. Moving down he bestowed a gentle kiss on her stomach before sending her into orbit as he claimed his prize in the nest between her shapely thighs. Just before she was about to explode he broke off and quickly disrobed himself.

Propping her hips up with a couple of pillows, because with her heavy load she couldn't do it herself, he rubbed the helmet of his tumescent sword of love to her weeping flower of womanhood.

Then with a gentle motion he joined their souls and began anew the dance as old as time. His stamina was magnificent and he brought her to the edge many times over the next hour, just to stop and let her cool down. Just as this intense pleasure was turning into pain he went for the final stretch.

Loren could feel the fireworks starting in her womb, spreading through her body like tendrils of fire, preparing to consume her in a conflagration of exquisite pleasure.

Just a second longer and she would be there.

Just a second.

Just a little longer.

Yes, she was...

Awake.

Loren bolted upright in the bed, wide-eyed, her silk nightgown soaked with sweat. She was breathing shallowly and quickly, her body so flushed she felt as if she was stuck in an oven.

Her arousal was raised higher than it had ever been in her life and it took her a couple of moments before she realized she'd only dreamt the whole thing.

It had not happened.

Still positively humming with unreleased arousal she threw herself back down on the matrees with a frustrated whimper.

She'd been so close...

So close to having the best orgasm of her life and that only from having a dream about Harm.

A dream with HARM making love to her...

Okay, so he was her roommate, the father to her child and her partner in life. Partner in life... she still didn't know how to call him exactly. They weren't in love (and she deliberately ignored the pang in her heart and the small voice at the back of her mind laughing hysterically), so she couldn't call him her boyfriend. They weren't physically intimate, so he wasn't her lover. They were committed to each other for life, but they weren't married.

But now it seemed it wasn't bad enough they had a relationship she couldn't even define, but she was even starting to have highly erotic, almost pornographic, dreams of him.

She turned her head and looked at him as he lay sleeping peacefully next to her and barely restrained the urge to hit him.

She didn't know whether because he was sleeping peacefully while she'd been interrupted in her dream, or for what he'd done to her, making her have such dreams about him or because he hadn't been making love to her, because he wasn't making love to her and she had to resort to dreaming of making love with him, instead of in real life as she was starting to realize she wanted. She reluctantly realized she wanted to hit him because he wasn't making love to her for real and that admission cost her.

He was sleeping there peacefully, like a baby, while she was laying here as hot and bothered as she'd never been before. And it was all his fault!

It was his fault she was dreaming of stuff romance was made of, warm baths, wine (even in her dream it had been non-alcoholic because of the pregnancy), strawberries, him washing her hair lovingly, making love to her weeping flower of womanhood with his tumescent sword of love,...

'Weeping flower of womanhood? Tumescent sword of love? How the hell did I come up with _that_?' she wondered.

Remembering her guilty pleasure, bodice-ripper type novels, hidden beneath her matress she had her answer.

Involuntarily checking out how tall and big his body was she couldn't help but contemplate how big he was in certain other areas. Then mentally slapped herself for thinking like that when laying in bed next to him, hot, sweaty and aroused as hell, when she could easily wake him up and seduce him. She was just too close to him for her peace of mind, too close for her self-control to sustain if she'd continue thinking of that.

They weren't ready for that step yet, she knew _she_ wasn't ready for it yet.

Softly groaning with frustration she hauled her 4 months pregnant body up and ambled for the bathroom where she'd shuck her nightgown among the dirty laundry, take a shower and maybe manage to temporarily soothe the hunger that had been awakened between her thighs by her dream. She admitted that she'd think of Harm while relieving the tension and for some weird reason she felt proud of herself for being able to admit that to herself.

Maybe she could sleep then.

And if not she had half a mind to wake Harm up and re-enact the last part of her dream, but this time with them going the entire way.

Which she honestly didn't think was such a bad idea after all...

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PS: sorry, guys, but with this fic I'm trying to stick to realistic and non-corny, which means I can't just have them suddenly proclaiming love for each other. It has to lead to it and this part, Loren having sex dreams about herself and Harm, is an important step towards them becoming real partners and finally tying the knot. And to of course work on more babies, these ones with Harm's genes...

Besides, skipping 4 months, love confessions, marriage proposals, a wedding and them coming out of the closet with the JAG crew wouldn't be really fair to you, now would it?

REVIEW!


	53. Chapter 53

Finally the part you've all (some more patiently, some less) been waiting for.

I've thanked all others over PM's already, but since I couldn't I'm taking this chance to thank you both, **camile**__and **JL**, for your continued support and reviews. They mean a lot to me.

And to answer a question you've, camile, put forth in one of your earlier reviews, that I in my absetmindedness completely forgot to answer, I do understand everything you're trying to say, so there's no problem there. But if you're either from a German-speaking country or write in German better, you can also leave your comments in German. Anyway, thank you and take care of yourself.

Thank you all for your reviews, please keep them up!

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Mac knocked on the door determinedly, impatiently awaiting an answer.

She'd tried calling him, but kept getting the wrong signal so she'd decided to drop by in person.

She was about to knock again when the door was opened suddenly, revealing Harm. He was dressed in casual clothes, a tank top and sweat pants, causing Mac to lick her lips lightly in appreciation.

She noticed with smug satisfaction that he checked her out too. She'd chosen wisely, a tight pair of pants to emphasize her long legs and high, tight ass; and a figure-hugging stretchy T-shirt that did the same to her very large breasts and flat stomach, features of her body she was most proud of. She knew she was hot, the scorching gazes of the men she met in the streets stroked her ego daily, but it didn't hurt if she occasionally reminded Harm of that fact.

Suddenly a fabulous smell reached her nostrils, making her ever-empty stomach growl and she invited herself inside, sweeping past him into his apartment.

"So, what are you making for dinner?" she asked as she turned around, noticing he was still clutching the door with a slightly panicky look in his eyes.

She canted her head at him, confused as to why he was reacting this way to her presence.

Then she became aware of the sound of the shower going and she stammered.

"Sorry, didn't mean to keep you from your shower." Upon saying that she blushed at the thought of how he must look under it, then blushed even further at the idea of joining him there and letting nature take it's course. She was after all a very beautiful woman with a body many women would kill for with a strong sex drive and she was sure he wouldn't be able to say 'no' if she got naked into the shower with him.

Harm had no clue just what the hell to say to her, this being the worst case scenario he'd had imagined.

He hadn't yet explained to Mac about his new domestic situation, partly from fear of her reaction and partly from fear she would take it so badly, it thus further endangering and undermining their always-shaky friendship.

Sometimes he thought that they were less friends and more two people with a strong sexual attraction who just made themselves believe they were great friends. The state their bond was in after BugMe (what an appropriate name...) and Renee further gave credence to his theory, because a bond between two friends would never be threatened, much less damaged, by involvement of the two protagonists with other people. What Mac and her relationship with BugMe had done to their friendship, nearly destroying it completely, was just further proof for the sexually-attracted theory.

He also had no clue about how Mac would take the fact he was pulling out of their deal, since it was null and void due to him taking on the full-time job of being the Daddy to Loren's baby.

True, Mac hadn't given him even a little hint since the deal's conception of still wanting the deal, a baby, with him, actually with her relationship with BugMe she'd made it clear that she didn't want it with him anymore, much less was prepared to wait for it, but he still didn't know how she'd react.

Harm had always been aware of just how possessive Mac was of him, which she was not in the right to be like because they'd never been in a romantic relationship in the first place, much less had she had the right to be like that while she was with other men, and these facts had never stopped her, so he believed he had enough reasons to believe she wouldn't take it easily. She sometimes seemed to subscribe to the way of thinking that until she'd decide she wanted him no other woman could have him.

He had to admit to being a coward for not just having told Mac and was seriously starting to regret that hesitation.

Because, unless his gut feeling was misleading him, and it never had before, Mac was about to get a brutally clear update on her partner's private life and he also knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Just to assure him that the universe was having immense fun at his expense and that his gut feeling had been right again, it was at that moment that the shower cut off, followed by the sound of a person bustling around in there.

Mac's head snapped to the wall of the bathroom so fast that for a second Harm had expected to hear the sound of her vertebrae snapping. She'd expected to see the glass brick wall, but instead there were normal bricks, ones Harm had put in there a few weeks back in order to give the person inside the bathroom privacy.

Then her lasers were trained upon him again and Harm flinched at the anger he saw in there. This was quickly reminding him of the times she'd met Annie and Jordan and Renee...

Oh yeah, Mac was definitely pissed, but unfortunately Harm knew it would just get worse once she found out just who had just gotten out of the shower.

The sound of a door opening drifted over to them and a few seconds later a towel clad familiar form appeared in the doorway of the bedroom.

--

Mac was a well of emotions inside. She was confused ('Since when is he with someone?), angry at not having been told about it and jealous and hurt that yet again it wasn't she sharing his bed, instead of some bimbo. Who was probaly blond.

She knew she was just standing there, but she was having a hard time processing the fact that Harm was with someone else.

She had expected him to stay single until she'd finally decide she wanted him. True, she hadn't given him even a little hint these past few years that she still wanted him, but he was supposed to know he should've waited for her!

No matter how long it took.

Then, as if that hadn't been enough, she got another shock.

A strangely familiar, slightly raised, female voice could be heard then, as it's owner neared the doorway.

"Harm, we're running out of..."

Mac couldn't stop herself from gaping when LT Loren Singer, the woman she hated, the woman she'd named LT Witch, the last woman's she'd ever expected to encounter in Harm's apartment, stopped in the doorway, naked except for a big towel wrapped around her body, still slightly wet from her shower.

She now had an inkling into how Harm had felt at the airport in Sydney when she'd performed tonsillectomy on Brumby with the sole intention of hurting Harm for his rejection. But it must've been so much more hurtful to him than it was now to her because she had done it intentionally.

It was obvious Harm hadn't planned this (the panicky look on his face said it all) and she knew Harm would never deliberatelly hurt her. Yes, he had hurt her a few times in the past, always for just having stuck a foot into his mouth or retaliated to her first hurtful strike with his own, but he had never intentionally hurt her, nor had he ever struck first.

Even through everything they'd done to each other and, perhaps more appropriately said, everything she'd done to him, he had still retained that main trait of a true friend: the desire to protect her. While she'd lost this trait of a friend when he'd left for flying and never having regained it, this enabling her to intentionally hurt him in Sydney and to later publicly question his integrity, endangering his career, and on other occasions. In the meantime Harm still had this drive to protect her, even from himself. And because of this drive Mac knew, even through the blood pounding in her ears and the bile in her throat, that this wasn't his planned nor desired way to have her find out.

Yet, it still hurt and from Harm's expression she knew he knew and regretted it.

The question was, was it enough?

--

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	54. Chapter 54

Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming!

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Mac's gaze was drawn from Loren's surprised and shocked look down to the other woman's barely covered body, stopping at her now quite obviously pregnant belly, and then over to Harm's guilty expression.

Wordlessly she took in the information, trying furiously to make heads and tails of it.

She came up with nothing. Her brain had shut down from shock.

She couldn't come up with anything other than the fact that Loren was walking around Harm's apartment naked, after just having taken a shower.

She was incapable of thinking, even of wondering what was Loren doing there in the first place, what her relationship with Harm actually was, when had it taken on such a drastic change, what did it all mean and, finally, what did it all mean for her, Mac.

While her brain was shocked into numbness her heart was not.

She was feeling a range of emotions, all of them negative.

Anger, jealousy, disappointment, hurt at him being with someone else, hate, resentment, rejection, hurt at not having been told,... all these emotions were swirling inside her, creating a maelstrom, threatening to drown her.

"Oh.. I... I didn't know you had a guest over." stammered Mac, glaring at him. He clearly read the hidden meaning and accusation in the sentence. 'I didn't know you are sleeping with someone and that she's here and that because YOU didn't tell me. And that it's LT Singer!'

Harm saw Loren flare up at the designation Mac had used for her and just winced, having a good idea what would follow. There was no way in hell he could prevent the fallout from Mac's term for Loren.

"Guest?" snorted Loren, crossing her arms under her chest, partly out of the need to make sure she wouldn't lose her towel and partly out of being put on the defensive, and gave Mac a challenging stare. "I'm no guest. I live here."

It was obvious even to Harm, who was normally pretty oblivious to the exact meanings of woman-to-woman silent communication, that Loren was marking her territory. Which, to his silent amazement, included him.

It frankly surprised him.

Since they'd sealed their deal Loren hadn't felt threatened in her place in his life by some other woman, even by women who'd blatantly flirted with him and had come on to him, she was never possessive, territorial or jealous; but now that Mac was here she was as prickly as a cactus.

Loren knew he'd never abandon her and the baby, she knew what his promise meant, so why was she suddenly feeling so threatened by Mac?

He gave up on trying to uncover the mystery that is Woman, for no-one can understand a woman, only another woman. He knew, he'd been trying to understand them for almost 40 years and was yet to figure them out.

Then he was looking into another of Mac's glares. 'So, you have her living with you too? How... convenient.' She didn't say the words, he saw the message in her eyes. She was hurting, so he knew she wasn't acting this way intentionally. She couldn't help her instinctual reaction and would regret it once the confrontation was over and she'd had a chance to calm down.

The meaning was clear... he was having Loren live with him just for sex, so that he wouldn't have to either drive all the way over to Loren's or wouldn't have to go looking for sex elsewhere. It was obvious Mac believed that they shared nothing more but simply sex. No feelings, no strings, no commitment, no future,...

Mac knew she was acting bitchy, but hell, she had reason to. She'd just found out that the guy whom she considered her safe bet, her fallback guy, her perpetual second choice, had moved on without her... had moved on from her... and she'd been left behind.

Something that definitely left her ego smarting.

Which was even worse was that he'd chosen LT Loren Singer of all people! The only woman she truly hated. The irony of the whole situation was that Harm had once been in this spot, seeing her with the man he'd hated.

Loren thought it was about time to raise the stakes and inform Mac of the way it was going to be from now on. She was feeling catty, yet it was the only way she knew to defend what was hers. She eyed Harm, standing there, looking as if he wished the ground would open up and swallow him. "Are you coming, Harm?" she asked him sweetly and at his confused look explained. "I got the water just right for our shower together. Tepid, because the heat will be generated by us..."

Harm gaped at her disbelievingly, while she just smiled seductively. What the hell was she playing at? They weren't lovers and they hadn't intended on having a shower together, either. Was she trying to get him killed?

In response Mac growled under her breath and stalked towards the door, giving Harm a wide berth and evading his attempts at stopping her. "Hormone!" she spat at him, mutilating Harm's name with the sting of humiliation and hurt still boiling her blood.

"And good riddance to you." murmured Loren with satisfaction as she watched the door slam behind Mac and at Harm's admonishing "Loren!" she looked questioningly at him.

Rolling her eyes she explained impatiently. "Harm, I know I'm a cold bitch, I never pretended to be something else. But I hate bitches who pretend they are not and also think they are better than everyone else."

With that she turned gracefully and went back into the bedroom to put some clothes on, leaving Harm to contemplate the eternal hostility and hatred between the two women.

His situation was far from being enviable. He was caught between two women, one a former best friend of his and the other woman being the one to whom he had committed himself for life.

He knew there would come a time when he'd have to choose a side, choose one of them, and in the process would burn the bridges with the other. Someone would inevitably get hurt and Harm already mourned the loss of what had once been and what could've been because he knew who he would choose.

--

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	55. Chapter 55

Damn Putin and his bloodthirsty mob. Why can't at least he be smart?

What's this? Only 100 hits for "Time for a change"? And only 1 review? Shame on you guys who read, but did not review.

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The next morning dawned bright and sunny.

It was impossible to be moody in the face of the warm sun shining into the apartment, it's golden rays caressing Harm's face and urging him to wake up and face the day.

Nor was it possible to be in a bad mood at waking up to another kind golden rays on his face, Loren's thick, long strands having spread around her head, creating a halo of gold.

Even though he'd woken up to her hair in his mouth he wasn't complaining. There are worse ways to wake up. Like alone. So, a little hair (which he knew she'd washed the previous night) wouldn't kill him.

No matter that they'd fallen asleep on different sides of the huge bed, they'd still woken up in each other's arms, Harm on his back and Loren snuggled into his side.

She was pleasantly warm, not too much, just right, she was soft and hard in all the right places, she smelled really nice, that body lotion apparently worked wonders, considering how soft and supple her skin was, her hair smelled of roses, she was a very pleasant package to have in his arms in general. The soft, warm, large cushions of her breasts pressed harder against the side of his ribcage with every breath she took, one slim leg was slipped between his legs and one arm was possessively stretched over his chest, holding him tightly, as if afraid he'd try to leave.

With a content sigh Harm settled back and decided to just enjoy the experience until it was time to get up. One of his hands was holding hers, while the other one was settled on her firm hip.

Even in her silk nightgown the curves and planes of Loren's body were quite obvious and he delighted in knowing she was sharing _his _bed, holding _him _in her sleep.

It was extremely nice was to wake up to _someone_ and not wake up alone, yet again. The past two years had been so lonely he had stopped believing he'd ever have this kind of happines.

To prove the point he felt a sharp jab against his side, where Loren's belly was pressing against his. Chuckling lowly he slipped his hand forward, from her hip to her belly, and tenderly caressed the bulge. "Let mommy sleep for a few more minutes, kid." he whispered lowly and was gratified when the baby stilled.

"She recognizes your voice, you know?" Loren's sleepy, husky voice revealed she wasn't as asleep as he would've wanted. She needed all the sleep she could get in one round, otherwise he'd find her asleep in her office yet again.

"She does?" he wondered.

"Yes." Loren confirmed, nodding against his chest, enjoying the feel of hard muscles beneath her cheek. "She settles down as soon as she hears your voice. Already recognizes her Daddy."

Unexpectedly a sheen covered his eyes and he needed a few seconds to settle down his emotions upon hearing Loren referring to him as the baby's Daddy. "Yeah, I guess she does."

At the moment he couldn't be mad at Loren over how she'd behaved towards Mac, but he promised himself that he would be later. There was no way this woman would make him into a weepy pussy, crying when his emotions awakened.

Pushing down his emotions with years of practice he ignored them and just luxuriated in the feel of warm rays on his face and the heat of Loren's body pressed so tightly into his, halfway over him.

A few minutes later Loren stretched her back while still in his arms and Harm tried to ignore the way her breasts and belly pressed into him. To top it off, the smooth muscular leg she had thrown over him and was bent at the knee so it could be slipped between his legs, started rubbing up and down against his. He couldn't stop the small shiver that went through his body. As she pressed her lips, curved into a smile, against his breastbone to deeply inhale his scent, while her hand played with the sparse hair on his chest, Harm knew it had been done intentionally.

It just took him a minute to realize it hadn't been done just to torment him either. Having read his new pregnancy book he had the answer for Loren's actions.

Plainly put, she was horny.

Loren was in her second trimester and was experiencing a rush of hormones, that had put her sex drive on overtime.

And if he wasn't mistaken she was grinding herself lightly against his hip...

While he was still in shock by the revelation he felt his body respond.

His pulse picked up and blood slowly inflating a vital part of his anatomy. While Loren just kept going, nothing overt, just very tiny, occasional motions, during which she was completely silent, not giving even a hint of what she was doing or of feeling pleasure.

And if that continued Harm would probably either lose his control and give their bodies what they both wanted or just humiliate himself badly.

Deciding it was time to bail out, one of his engines already on fire, half of his left wing missing, bingo fuel and the plane's spin going out of control, Harm mentally pulled the ejection seat release.

Moving his hip away from her he carefully extracted himself from Loren and got out of bed, studiously ignoring her dismayed and bitterly disappointed expression. But, more than that, he was ignoring her smoky dark-blue orbs, glittering in desire and lust.

Thankfully, before he would have to find an excuse for his action, the alarm clock started beeping. Shutting it off Harm declared. "Come on, up and at 'em!"

Then he nearly sprinted to the bathroom, where he took his problem in hand. Literally.

Cold showers don't work, but manual labor does. Cold showers just decrese the physical problem, but they do not settle down the tension, nor calm down the hormones, nor slow the pulse. They just shrink the trouble-maker in question. But manual labor does take care of all the symptoms and it's a much quicker way to getting results than anything else, especially than sex.

10 minutes later he was showered, his teeth had been brushed, his body still humming pleasantly from the release, and was now applying the shaving cream to his face, wearing only white boxers. He would've been done much earlier had he not had to take care of his problem, because he was normally showered and fully cleaned in less than three minutes. Even with the technique designed to hurry up the process the taking care of his problem had required more time.

This was their routine now, he showered first, with Loren second because she took three times more to get ready.

Just then a knock sounded and surprised he raised his eyebrows, but nonetheless instructed Loren to come in.

--

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	56. Chapter 56

Thanks for the reviews, keep them up!

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She entered slowly, a sheepish expression on her lovely face, as she held out a coffee cup. He surmissed this was her apology for using him for a sex toy a few minutes earlier so he ignored her unauthorized appropriation of his Naval Academy T-shirt. Somehow, together with the mussed hair and flaming cheeks, it made her as sexy as hell.

Besides, he wasn't blaming her for her earlier actions and if she'd do that a few months in the future he would, considering which direction their relationship seemed to be taking, take her up on it and they'd probably spend a lovely time sharing a shower, so they wouldn't be late for work. But now was still too early for involving sex into their already confused relationship, as they'd only been together for a few weeks and weren't even _together_ together yet.

"Thanks." he said and sipped from the cup, grimacing slightly as the aftertaste of the toothpaste mixed with the bitter liquid.

Putting it down he resumed his work, peripherally aware of Loren standing just a foot away from him, observing him with interest.

He was about to take the first swipe with the razor when the feeling of being observed was too much. Deciding it was better to deal with the situation than let himself be distracted, which could result in cuts, he put down the razor and turned to Loren.

Raising his eyebrow curiously he inquired. "Yes?"

Taking a second to gather the courage she finally asked. "I want to do that for you."

'She can't mean... Can she?'

"Do what?" he asked suspiciously.

"Shave you."

Me must not have heard right. Had she just told him she wanted to shave him?

"You want to do the shaving?" he tried to confirm.

Half eagerly and half nervously she nodded. "Yes."

He looked at her dubiously. Loren and a sharp blade? Sooooo not a good idea...

And he still quite distinctly remembered stopping her fun just a short time ago, no doubt pissing her off with it...

But it was too late, Loren had taken his silence for permission and, settling herself on the commode, she took the razor and beckoned him closer.

Harm approached her hesistantly, then decided she really couldn't do much damage with one of these modern razors. Thank god he didn't have the old-fashioned straight razor, otherwise he'd really be in danger...

Stepping closer he jumped in surprised as Loren suddenly wrapped her legs around him and hooked them behind his thighs, drawing him closer in order to keep him from moving too much during the shaving. Both gasped at the contact of their groins pressing tightly together, just the thin cloth of their underpants standing in the way, and after a short gritting of teeth to retain control they decided to ignore their position.

Seeing the worry still clearly etched on his brow she rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Harm, I shave my legs constantly and never cut myself. See?"

He followed her line of sight and took a moment to admire her legs, or what he could see of them, namely her thighs. As she'd said, her thighs were smooth. Not to mention very nicely toned. These were not the thighs of a starved out model, nor the thighs of women who eat and live unhealthily, these were two magnificent examples of smooth, toned thighs with just the right muscle tone to make them strong and make them look beautiful, even seductive. All in all hey were magnificent thighs.

And they were wrapped around him in a very intimate way. Good thing Loren hadn't mentioned where else she shaved with equal competency cause that way their control over themselves would quickly go... out of control. Namely mentioning that specific part of the anatomy while pressing the said part against his own private part was, together with the hormones awakening in both of them, the surest way of pushing them into something they weren't ready yet.

But what she'd meant was that hers were two almost-professionally-shaved thighs.

Maybe he could really let her do this. When he looked up he felt a small hand grasp his chin and position him, holding him in place. Then the razor touched his throat and began moving in precise, measured strokes.

The warmth of Loren's strong legs around his, the heat of her core against his groin through their clothes changed for a second as she changed position slightly and he couldn't help the instinctive reaction as his hips flexed forward, rubbing the shaft of his awakening desire against her sensitive region, her panties helping in the effort with their own friction as they scraped lightly against the ultra-sensitive skin. He heard a hiss from her as she momentarily took the razor away from his face in order to avoid injuring him.

He felt her body stiffen as she fought against it's demands to take it further and his gaze was drawn to her breasts as they were heaving with quick, shallow breaths, nipples tenting the worn fabric so much they almost poked his eyes out. A flush that reached down well past the wide collar of the T-shirt had taken over her neck and face. Harm cursed himself for the lack of his self control as he watched his partner fight for them both.

After a minute she'd regained her presence and resumed what she'd been doing. The warm, soft hands doing their work soon lulled him into a state of a light doze.

He put his hands on her hips as she worked and dimly he realized that had they both been naked, then his thick member probably would've been kept warm inside her body as she worked, so tightly were their groins pressing against each other. Thankfully, for his sanity, this time she kept still and he just enjoyed the almost-forgotten feel of holding a woman in an intimate, almost sexual manner. It had been too long.

With their deepening feelings, their increasingly relaxed manner around each other and the easy, natural way they came into a contact with sexual undertones, he'd already realized it was just a matter of time before they crossed the last divide, making their relationship real by making it sexual, so the scenario of being inside her while she shaved him was looking quite realistic.

And he admitted to himself that he didn't mind the prospect of making love to Loren, hell, he was anticipating it.

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REVIEW!


	57. Chapter 57

I'm glad you're still liking this fic and I very much appreciate all your reviews.

This one is so much longer to make up for the shortness of the previous one.

Had a very nice time on the Istrian coast. Beautiful weather (well, mostly), nice sea (except for those idiots boaters who drove their boats 20 meters away from the beach, two morons almost ran me over, one intentionally - the prick kept turning his zodiac towards me as I tried to get away after surfacing from snorkeling!. Next time I'm taking a scuba diver knife with me - I'm also a certified scuba diver - and slashing the next such idiot's zodiac), great bikes and little bikinis on some very beautifully shaped women (some of those bikinis were even little black bikinis). What more could a bachelor want?

Well, except for the fact that I took the wrong bike for a 400 km ride (one way). 250cc is just too small a bike (physically and displacement-wise) and uncomfortable for such a long ride besides the fact that it's slower than our cat when she's strolling around the apartment.. I should've taken the Goldwing, but was afraid it was too heavy for a camp and would tip over in the soft soil. Turns out I was wrong. Figures...

Anyway, thanks for your reviews and please keep them up!

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Her soft voice just added to the peacefulness of the moment, as the razor cut away his stubble. "When I was still a child, before my parents screwed up our life, I used to love to watch my father shave. He was the straight-razor kind of guy and the shaving was a ritual in itself. I would sit there through it all and just observe as he prepped the cream, sharpened the razor on the leather belt and then began. Once I asked him why he didn't just buy a new razor, it would've made it easier and much faster, and he told me that that straight razor had been his father's and it was a way of keeping a connection with him. I never knew my grandfather, he died in Korea, was shot down over MiG Alley. Then the times got bad for us and I no longer watched my father. He was drunk most of the time and rarely shaved anymore anyway. Soon after, I left the house and stayed with a friend's family, working small jobs to support myself, so I depended on them for only a place to sleep, until I graduated from High School among the top 10. Then I joined up. I didn't have money for College and all the stipends went to those stupid football jocks and to the kids of prominent townfolk. There was just no money for the daughter of two drunks, even if she was among the top 10 of the whole High School. I had no other choice so I joined up and later went to Law School. So here I am now. But those nice times when I watched my father do his morning ritual still stayed with me. With none of the guys I've been involved with I felt this sense of wonder when they shaved, but with you I just needed to do this." she went quiet then, embarrassed by how much she'd revealed.

Harm was touched by what she'd shared with him and couldn't find anything to say, so he stayed silent.

A few years back he'd said Loren Singer was like an onion... when you peeled one layer away you were faced with another. In the course of their cohabitation she'd already inadvertantly revealed so much of the reason why she was the way she was. Her youth was so similar to Mac's, with her parents' alcoholism, but in this case the daughter was the one who'd run away. Loren had not been a weakling, a coward, and had not given in to alcohol herself, like Mac had done; but had been strong, had run away before it had the chance to destroy her, had found help and not been too proud or too foolish to insist she could take care of herself completely, had worked to support herself, had graduated High School and then entered the service. She had started as an enlisted and then become an officer and entered Law School, NJS and OCS on her own credit.

She had a lot of fortitude and tenacity and she had risen from the bottom of the social and military ladder on only her own merit. She hadn't succeeded by hanging on to someone, nor had she slept her way to anything. It was then no wonder that she had become the way she was, hard, tenacious, closed-off and determined to get all the way to the top. She had experienced life at the bottom.

But along the way there were moments during which her soft side would shine through, moments that put to lie her hard-ass image. And unfortunately her hard-ass image also put in question the existence of a possible soft side. The woman was plainly put an Enigma and Harm knew he would spend many months, if not years, trying to figure her out. Somehow, he didn't mind the prospect.

She finished shaving him during his musings and observed her handy work with smug satisfaction. "See? All done and not one nick."

Harm ran a hand over his jaw and nodded in agreement. "You did a great job, indeed, couldn't have done it myself. Thank you, Loren."

Then, because she'd earned it, he bestowed a tender kiss upon her cheek.

Wide eyed, Loren touched her burning skin and slipped off the commode, walking out of the bathroom in a daze.

Harm looked after her, glad at the proof that he wasn't the only one affected by the other. Then he put the finishing touches to his daily grooming: rinsed off his face, toweled it dry, applied deodorant and after-shave, and cleaned and put away the shaving kit.

Then he left the bathroom to let Loren have her turn. While she was in there he put his uniform on and went on foot to the bakery a few blocks away.

By the time he returned a half hour later Loren was just finishing up in the bathroom.

Harm packed the leftovers from last night's dinner to be used for lunch that day and just as he was done Loren appeared in the bedroom door, salivating at the smell of delicious croissants.

Looking at him, standing there, resplendent in his dress blues, she couldn't help but drool for a different reason.

Crossing over to him she took the croissant he held out to her when his name tag caught her eye again.

"Harm?"

"Hm?"

"What origin does the name Rabb have? I've been wondering for a while, since I've never heard it before. A few people at work speculated it's scottish, but I'm not sure I agree."

Harm had stiffened at her querry, but after a short deliberation he decided she had the right to know. Pulling at his ear he explained uncomfortably, not sure how it'd be received. "It's not scottish." at her patient, curious look he sighed and gave in "It's a muslim name."

Loren couldn't hold in the gasp of surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's Allah's fourth name. The full name is _Allah _(God) _Al-Rahman _(the All-Merciful) _Al-Rahim _(the Ever-Merciful) _Rabb_. Rabb means 'The Lord of all creation', 'Master of the universe', 'The most compassionate', 'The comforter', 'The Nourisher of the universe', etc."

Loren was looking at him with wide blue eyes. "Are you an Arab?"

"Mostly no. The Rabbs that came to the US some 140 years ago _were _Arabs, though. Since then the Arab Rabb blood has been dilluted by breeding with other nationalities."

"Are you then a Muslim?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm an Atheist, but my father did teach me about Islam before he was killed, though. He was an Atheist as well. Which was what my grandfather was, who had told my father about our family's history. The women in my family were all either Catholic or Protestant, except for the first few generations of Rabbs in the US who were all Arab and Muslim couples. Islam is not our present, it is our past."

"But you haven't formally broken away from it?"

"No, but neither does anyone know of my lineage. Everyone knows I'm an Atheist, so there was no need to break away from anything. All public and secret records on me have the religion bracket empty."

Harm sighed deeply. He had never anticipated this topic to come up and, frankly, he had always feared a friend of his would start asking questions. In this day and age it is a dangerous heritage to have, especially in the US military. The look in Loren's eyes said she'd caught the hidden meaning and understood his reasons. After all, he didn't want to disappear either in Guantanamo or in one of those secret, torture prisons, where he'd be just a number, not a person, not a human, just a number without any rights, in a place where the jailors disregard all human rights and laws, international or domestic, just because of who his ancestors were. But isn't their treatment of prisoners making them into exactly those whom they supposedly fight, by commiting exact same horrors?

He decided to clear things up for her. "Look, Loren, yes, my family has an Arabic and Muslim past, but, no, I myself am not a Muslim, I am an Atheist. You will never be treated nor will you live like the wife of a religious Muslim, nor will our children as Muslim children. Nor will I try to indoctrinate you or the kids with Islam. You will never hear me demand you wear an abaya in your life and if anyone would ever make a suggestion that you should I would take them apart with my bare hands. Well, except if you have to go on an investigation in such a country where our military demands of it's members to abide by the local laws, that is."

Looking into his eyes Loren saw his sincerity and it calmed her down. She knew the man who was Harmon Rabb Jr. and thus she knew he would never betray the country, nor the service, nor the people he had sworn to protect. She knew the officer and she knew the man. Thus doubt in him and the thought of reporting him had not even tried to come to existence in her mind. Not that she would ever report the father of her child, unless he had done something terrible. Neither would she tell it to any of their friends.

It was just another facet of the man she had come to care a great deal about and after that no word was ever spoken on the matter, not once in all the decades to come. Her question had been answered and that was that. For good.

In the whirlwing of that tense situation neither had noticed Harm's slip in talking about their children. Plural.

Which was unfortunate since it would've forced them to face some facts and not let them continue to live in denial.

They ate their croissants on the way to the car and wiped their hands on the paper tissues Harm had brought with.

With a glance at Loren to check if she was buckled up Harm started the engine and pulled away.

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AN: I googled the name Rabb and that's what really turned up. It was an interesting find so I decided to use it to give more dimension to Harm. You can find the whole thing here:

http / www. islamonline. net/English/family/2005/06/article01. shtml

Also, the opportunity to give more dimension to Loren had presented itself for the during-shaving-talk. I hope I did it justice with what I think is a credible scenario.

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REVIEW!


	58. Chapter 58

**Daniel Saldivias** has made some good points, points I believe should be answered publicly, cause others no doubt wondered.

Btw., it's gonna be a long explanation so anyone not inclined to read it should just skip this and immediately go to the story.

Btw. #2, I apologize in advance if the sentences come out aggressive, cause they weren't meant that way. The thing is I get extremely passionate about things I'm explaining and that transfers into my speech. I loved your review, Daniel, so please don't think I'm angry at you or took it offensively. I'm actually touched and grateful you took the time and made the effort to write such a well thought out review, cause I know writing reviews of this length can take up a lot of time. Anyway, thanks.

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_Point of contention one_: Rabb has no translation in German. Raven in German is "der Rabe", with one B and an E. It's also not spoken similarily. And let's be honest, most of the explanations on dedicated name sites are ridiculous and try to to make connections to foreign words where there are no connections. I googled Rabb and took the exact hit, from a site which was not about names.

The other reason is that I wanted to give Harm some additional facets and dimensions. Ask yourselves: if it was suddenly said on the show that Harm had Arabic background wouldn't you go back through his interactions with Middle Eastern people and look at his behaviour, words, actions in a different way than you did originally?

As Harm also said, only the Rabbs that came to the US 140 years ago were full Arabs. That's 6 to 7 generations ago... As he also said, the genes had been dilluted since then by breeding with other nationalities. That's why he doesn't look Arabic. But it also doesn't mean he doesn't have Arab genes.

DJE is a Canadian, which means he either has French or Anglo-Saxon heritage, that's why he looks European. I'm not an expert, but to me American Caucassians and Western/Eastern/Middle European Caucassians look pretty much the same, except for extreme representatives of their nationalities.

Example: I don't look like a Turk or an Italian or a Croat or an Aryan and I'm sure I have at least some of their genes. Not only were Turks many times raiding my country during the middle ages, but they were also besieging, and that Suleyman I. The Magnificent himself (unsuccessfully, btw.), my small home town in 1532, on their way to and from Vienna. Their path back to their territories ran through the area from which one branch of my ancestors come (which was where were also pockets of Aryan colonists that colonised the country in 14th and 15th century in a planned effort by landlords to germanize the country, therefore one of my ancestors could've been an Aryan as well). It's a proven historic fact that Turks raped many women they ran across, so there's a chance one of my distant ancestors was a Turk. Another branch of my family is from an area where there were sparse populations of Italians present (that was 3 generations ago). Yet another branch comes from Istria (again three generations ago). Yet I look like neither like a Turk, nor a German, nor an Italian and nor like an Istrian. Yet I have their genes (the Croat genes in my blood are a confirmed fact)...

Genetics is an amazing thing and extremely unpredictable.

_Harm being a poster boy for the Aryan race_: No dice, cause Harm is not blond. Neither is he a pure-blooded German. Remember, Hitler and his co-sociopaths insisted that model Aryans are blue-eyed blond pureblooded Aryans. Harm is dark with green eyes and an American, with at least his mother not being German (even if his grandfather and grandmother were).

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_Point of contention two__:_ to know something about religion(-s) one does not have to be religious himself. I am an Atheist and yet I know enough about Christianity (Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox), Buddhism (Zen and Confucianism) and Islam (Sunni and Shiite) to hold a conversation. And even though I'm an Atheist I was there as a spectator for Catholic services and once even for Orthodox and Muslim.

My point is: backgrounds mean nothing.

_Harm's possible Christian background on the show:_ is really unimportant because he's not a practicing religious person (is there a better word for that?). He may as well had Muslim or Buddhist or even one of those a-space-ship-is-coming-for-us-so-we'll-take-poison background and that would be unimportant as well. The background is always unimportant, the only thing important is the actual, current belief system of the person itself. _It doesn't matter what a person's parents were like, the only thing that matters is what the person in question is like_. While Harm has strong moral values I can't see him being religious, especially not with what he's done in his life.

_X-Mas services_: well, I'm an Atheist and most of the people I know are and yet I (and they) still go to have our bikes blessed when such biker events occur... And even when I was a kid I still went with my extended family (relatives) to X-mas services, _because they all went._ It's all and only about **socializing and not wanting to stick out**. That would be Harm's reason for going which is also one you already mentioned when presenting your German-descent theory. The services was where all his friends were for X-mas and unless he wanted to be alone and lonely he had to go there. Besides, if he didn't go to the services he would've most definitely gotten black marks in Chegwidden's (and others') eyes.

_Another reason_: the thing about the military is that such events are obligatory, even if they don't seem like that. Oh, you don't get the direct order to attend (well, not most of the time), but if you don't go then your career will suffer. And from then on you will have black marks with your CO. Military is all about uniformity, conformity, about no-one sticking out, no-one being different. Those who are different suffer for that.

_The cross on the Wall next to Harm Sr.'s name:_ the cross means that the person is dead. The Wall has MIAs and KIAs. Until Season 4 Harm's father was KIA and when Harm and Mac went to Russia they found out he was dead and that's when he got the cross.

_Mac translating:_ Farsi is not the same as Arabic. Farsi is Persian (Iranian). Iranians are not Arabs. Calling an Iranian an Arab is one of the worst insults you could come up with. Iranians are first Iranians and only after that Muslims. Farsi also among other things has more letters than Arabic and different words. As much as Harm values family there's a chance that somewhere in the 140 years one generation didn't learn the language and thus didn't give it to the next.

_For example_, Vukovic's family has come to the US in either the 50's or in the time between the two wars, yet he didn't know that his real last name is Vukovich, not Vukovic (if the show was real, then this error could've been made by an immigration officer who had no clue about Slavic alphabet that has more letters). Therefore he doesn't know he really can't use that beloved nickname of his, Vic. Vukovich (Vuković in it's true form - I don't know if you see the last letter correctly, but it's a C with half of a small V on top of the C, tell me in a review if you could read the letter correctly) is Serbian and even Gregory (Gregor in original) is a name a Serb could have. Hell, he may have been born still in Yugoslavia and then his parents moved to the US, where they modified his name to make it more suitable to his new surroundings.

_Other possible reasons_: Mac was so proud of that ability of hers that he didn't want to rain on her parade by telling her he knew Arabic or a good one, one that Harm would definitely employ. I can't imagine Harm NOT having read Sun Tzu (it's a fantastic read, btw.) and hiding one's true knowledge, skills and intelligence to have an advantage over one's opponents is Sun Tzu-ish. Not to mention Machiavelli-ish.

Besides, it's not something that could ever really come up in a conversation and when they were in Afghanistan making people think you don't understand them is a fantastic strategic advantage, cause they'll speak more freely around you.

If Harm doesn't speak Arabic: _A very good reason for why not: _I know of my fellow countrymen who live in the US and they intentionally didn't teach their kids, who grew up there, their mother tongue because they didn't want them to stick out from the rest of the kids and be tormented for that difference.

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Okay, I think that is all. I apologize for the explanation taking up half of the update, but I thought it merited it.

Loved your reviews and looking forward to more!

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After finally having had _the talk_ with Loren over how she'd behaved the previous evening on the way to work Harm had made her promise to be nicer to Mac in the future. No matter what had happened over the past few years he still counted Mac among his friends and wanted it to stay that way. More than that, he wanted two of the five most important women in his life (the other three being his and Loren's unborn baby, his mother and his grandmother) to at least get along, if they couldn't find a common ground. He knew he was walking on thin edge with trying to keep his friendship with Mac, while having committed himself to another woman for life, but he'd decided it was worth it.

Harm knocked on Mac's office door determinedly, knowing that they had to talk as soon as possible before Mac once again shoved it too deep inside, refusing to deal with it and let the resentment fester and grow.

She'd been shut inside her office the whole morning long, door and blinds shut, so he was relying on them to, alongside changing the way he knocked, be let in.

At her terse command to enter he did just that, closing the door behind him.

"We need to talk, Mac." he stated calmly.

"No, we don't, Commander!" she retorted, sorting through the papers with angry, violent movements.

"Yes we do."

That comment made Mac's head snap up and he flinched back at the anger lingering there. He'd known he'd have to pay for uniting his life with Loren's, but he hadn't expected that kind of anger and hurt for the fact from Mac.

"Does the Admiral know?" she demanded.

"He knows. I told him immediately and he gave his permission" Harm told her, the guilt over not having told her all too clear on his face.

"Oh." she deflated. The anger in her eyes disappeared and hurt took it's place. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how." he bowed his head and that was the crux of the matter. He hadn't known how to tell her without either making her angry or hurting her. So, in an unprecedented show of cowardice, he'd said nothing, kept pushing it off and hoping that it wouldn't be needed.

"Well, you could've simply said: 'Mac, I fell in love with LT Witch and we're moving in together." she retorted sarcastically.

"Yeah, about that." Harm hedged. "We're not in love, we just moved in together 'cause we think it's for the best."

"'We'?" Mac fairly growled the word, making Harm flinch. "Then why did you move in together?" Then her eyes widened in realization.

"It's the baby isn't!?" she accused. "You're doing this because of the baby! What, Rabb, has there been a lack of weak, helpless females in need of your protection lately?

"Loren's far from a weak, helpless female, Mac." Harm retorted then winced when he noticed his faux pas.

"'Loren', is it?" she fairly growled. "So, you'd shack up with every single pregnant woman? Age getting to you? Hearing that alarm clock ringing? Wanting a family that badly? Every other woman has run away screaming from you before you've managed to knock her up, so you're settling for an instant family now?" she regretted the biting words the second they'd left her mouth, but her remorse was quickly drowned out by the anger and the rejection she was feeling from having another woman snatch Harm before she'd managed to sink her own claws into him.

Harm was slowly losing patience with his obstinate partner, her words having cut him deeply. He knew that in the interest of keeping this conversation from becoming a full blow-out he had to ignore her biting words, no matter how much he wanted to set her straight. "That's not fair, Mac. That's a Rabb baby growing inside her and I will not let another Rabb grow up without a father, I'd rather give up anything and anyone else before doing that. Come hell or high water I will be there for every moment of that baby's life."

"So... What?" irritated, Mac threw up her hands. "That's it? Whatever was between us is over?"

"We both know whatever was between us has been dead for a long time now, Mac." Harm said sadly. "We're both to blame, I take my part of the responsibility, but I'm not trying to shift some of it on you when I say that ever since your first visit to Patrick Henry I never received any vibe from you telling me that you still wanted anything with me, let alone the baby. Then came Sydney, that one-night-stand proposition, your taking Bugme's ring when I asked for more time, your engagement, USS Guadalcanal and then a year of you ignoring every romantic overture I made. In the end I just gave in to the fact that you don't want me anymore and became open to other possibilities." He gathered his thoughts and sighed, continuing resignedly, but with no accusation in his voice, only stating facts. "I'm gonna be 40 in less than 6 months Mac, I can't wait any longer, especially not when the woman I wanted it with clearly showed me she wanted nothing to do with me. So I opened myself to other possibilities and was lucky enough to have struck gold. I'm sorry you don't like Loren or the fact that I'm with her or that I'm going to raise this child with her, but I'm afraid you have no say in this matter."

"Are you then gonna marry her? Why haven't you already? The Harmon Rabb I know would do the honorable thing and married the woman as soon as he'd gotten her pregnant." she shut up then, only now acknowledging what she'd always known.

Harm had not only promised her a baby, but he had also promised her a lifetime commitment, he had promised her to give her everything she'd ever wanted, a marriage and a family. He would've given her all of that once the 5 years would've been up. But she had not been willing to wait for it and then she had so carelessly thrown it away by going to another man to get it from, throwing that other man in Harm's face ever chance she'd had. Which revelead an ugly facet of her in showing that to her it didn't matter who the father of her children was, just that she had them.

To her men were not equal partners in life, fully sentient beings, but they were just mobile sperm-producing balls and a penis to give her pleasure and children, nothing more. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so capable of so easily and unhesitatingly going from one man to another, of going from propositioning one man to jumping into another's bed in the space of 24 hours. Only a woman with that sort of lookout on men was capable of that.

She wasn't just a sexist and shallow, she was also a hypocrit, because she had railed so hard against sexist men before, even though she was the same. Her denial and hypocricy was so great that she'd once even overstepped her jurisdictions of a judge just to lash a defendant verbally to death because he'd been a chauvinist. While his charges had been something else... And all that while she was exactly the same. This revelation rocked her world and she did her best to ignore it, tuck it under the rug, because it proved she wasn't perfect, she had flaws, many, big flaws. And Sarah MacKenzie was perfect in her own eyes, even if that meant ignoring and not admitting huge character flaws.

Harm, unaware of her realizations, shook his head.

"I've thought of it, but she's not ready yet. Loren would say no if I ask. For now. Anyway, I gotta get back to work before the Admiral does his checks."

He crossed over to the door, opened it and, still holding it, turned around with a sad expression, then left wordlessly.

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REVIEW!


	59. Chapter 59

Have received 4 PMs from different readers, commenting a problem with reading/reviewing this chapter so I'm reposting it. Hope it works okay now.

Thanks for the reviews, please keep them up!

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Mac looked after him in dismay as Harm hurried off.

'What the hell has just happened? He couldn't be serious.'

But a sinking feeling appeared in her stomach nonetheless. There was nothing Harm valued more than family and he would've done everything in his power to protect it, kill for it, die for it. He had already proven in his past that family meant more to him than his career, something that Mac could never understand as her career meant everything to her and she wouldn't have risked much less thrown it away for no-one and nothing; if he'd been willing to resign to go after a man who was only supposedly his brother and follow him into a war-torn country by himself with no knowledge of the language; what would he then be prepared to do for that man's child, the child who was his blood relative?

Mac stopped at that thought.

Was Loren's unborn child even Sergei Junior in the first place?

She'd immediately thought of that possibility, but why should it be Sergei's?

Mac knew Loren had visited the Rabbs quite a few times and Harm was after all a human. A single, hetero, unclaimed male. And Loren was admittedly a very attractive young, single woman. Was it possible Loren had been the one to have the so-desired-by-many-women-including-Mac privilege and honor to conceive and carry Harmon Rabb Jr.'s baby?

Harm hadn't said clearly that the baby was Sergei's... He'd said that it was a 'Rabb baby' growing inside Loren.

That could've also very easily meant that Loren was carrying, protecting and nurturing HARM's baby inside her body.

Mac paled at that thought and felt sick.

Was she too late? Had she pussy-footed around for too long, ignoring the blindingly clear messages behind all those romantic dinners Harm had prepared for her so many times during the last year?

She knew that during the past few years she'd been going from hot to cold on him. One second hinting interest, the other pushing him away and turning to other men. Or trying to force him into action by flashing that ring by intentionally trying to make him jealous and demand he be there for her wedding, while being in a relationship with the ring's giver.

Then when Harm had extended an olive branch, when he'd screwed up his courage, travelled to the other side of the world after her, and finally risked his heart and his fragile ego she'd demanded unfair sacrifices from him, then again done a runner before he could even answer and ignored him for the rest of his stay, not even going to say goodbye when he'd left for home.

There were so many other examples of irrational, contradictory and even hostile behaviour, actions and decision Mac regretted having done ever since he'd left for flying. Hindsight is 20/20, but would she have done anything else had she gotten the chance to do it all over again?

One of the things she most despised was apologizing, admitting that she was not perfect, that she wasn't always right, that she made mistakes. Doing things differently than she had the first time around would admit that she'd been wrong that first time, that she wasn't perfect, that she did make mistakes, that she was in a weird way apologizing for them, which was something Mac knew she would never do, something she wouldn't tolerate of herself. Like she'd told Harm "Don't apologize, it's a sign of weakness." And she held to that, she never apologized to him when she hurt him, while he ALWAYS apologized to her.

Had thus Harm finally taken the clue and moved on, choosing another woman, the woman Mac hated and despised, to give him the family he had always so obviously wanted?

And it _had _always been obvious to everyone Harm wanted a family.

There couldn't have been any other reason for his relationship with Annie, for the woman had come with an instant family, something that guys tend to avoid, and then there was also his deal with Mac, a deal to have a child together.

Never before that day had she taken serious consideration of the possibility that not only women, but men too want kids, want their own family. The paradox with the modern times is that proportionally more men want to settle down and have families at a younger age than women. Around 30 years of age, when most modern women don't even want to think about starting a family and setting down, men are already expressing the desire to do just that, either vocally or with actions. Harm was 33 when he'd first publicly expressed the desire for a family he'd helped create.

Now with this new realization she was able to look back and finally crack a few mysteries of Harm's momentary preoccupations, sadness or just strange looks from over the years. She had noticed him so many times gazing at young families and pregnant women with an indecipherable look in his eyes, only now becoming obvious to her that he'd envied those men what they had, a good woman to love and who loved them back and a child(-ren) with her.

Mac had not even fathomed that his yearning for a family had been so great. She could see now where he'd gotten the impression from that there would never be that kind of future with her for him, making him think he had to go look elsewhere for a woman willing to give it to him. What else _could _he have understood by her engagement and her 'damn the torpedoes full speed ahead' stubbornness to marry another man anyway? And she _would've _married Brumby had Brumby not called it off. After that she'd called the single, innocent kiss she and Harm had shared an 'awkward moment number 310'. What had possessed her to say something as stupid as that? There's no better way to tell a man that you don't see him as a romantic potential than call your kiss an awkward moment. You may just tell him you only see him as a brother, nothing else!

Then came those romantic dinners that had never been acknowledged as that.

So, no, it wasn't strange that Harm had finally given up and moved on.

Shaking her head she sighed and decided to keep quiet about what she knew, for what she and Harm had once had, the friendship they'd once shared, for a fragment of the friendship they could perhaps still share in the future. Harm and Loren would let the others know when they were ready to, not before, and Mac would not be the one to betray them.

Unknowingly, Mac had just then done the first step towards rebuilding her and Harm's friendship and becoming a better person.

--

Harm froze in his tracks as he entered his office. Suddenly what he'd said, or had not said, came back to him.

He hadn't denied that he was the father of Singer's baby, nor had he specifically told her Sergei was the father.

And he suddenly had a pretty good idea just what conclusions Mac, and what any other woman in her position, would be drawing right about now...

"Crap." he groaned and closed his eyes in resignation.

He was so screwed.

He'd thought that saying that it was a Rabb baby would be enough, that she would know him and trust him enough to connect the dots. But Mac was angry and jealous now and Mac had never made rational, much less smart conclusions and decision while angry and jealous. He still remembered Sydney and her foolish rushed jump into bed with Brumby and then her run to the USS Guadalcanal. He just hoped she would break out of her modus operandi this time and not do anything stupid, if for no-one else, than at least for herself.

His life was about to get so much more complicated it wasn't even a little funny.

But, when looking out into the bullpen at Loren walking by and knowing she was pregnant and was to stay with him forever, he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

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	60. Chapter 60

Things heat up again a little, just to make life interesting. After all, with a woman living with a man platonically it's bound to happen, right?

Review!

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A little over 3 weeks had passed since she'd turned his life upside down and moved into his apartment when she came to him with a question.

She'd been acting strange for the entire day, fiddling, silent, sullen and nervous. She'd remained awake for a long time the previous night, which was why she'd overslept slightly, this only adding to her already-messed up emotional state. Loren hated with a passion to be late.

She was so concentrated on getting ready for work on time that she'd completely forgotten about modesty and had thus made it the first time Harm had ever seen her in just her underwear as she was flitting around the bedroom and bathroom getting dressed. Had she known that, she might've, after a thought about their situation, just shrug carelessly and lament that there was no way he'd never see her undressed or even naked in their coming 30 - 40 years together (if they were lucky). She could definitely not imagine him not wanting to be there when she'd be giving birth to their child and he would definitely see A LOT of her then. And she definitely won't be in a flattering condition, what with her being bloated, sweaty, red in the face, smelly, bloody, in pain, screaming, cursing and dilated enough to squeeze out a human. No normal man would find that arousing. So, if she'd known he was seeing an eye-ful she'd just probably be grateful he'd get to see her while she still considered herself attractive and thus his first impression of her assets wouldn't be negative.

And the impression definitely wasn't negative.

Harm had seen many a beautiful woman in his life, some of them even naked and in the throws of ecstasy which was when a woman was at her most beautiful, but it was very rare that a woman would make him catch his breath and the sight of who's not-completely-naked body would affect him so much. Loren was definitely breathtaking.

The delicate, lacy, silky panties and demi-cup bra that was barely holding in her growing breasts, were definite eye-catchers and that small-yet-quickly-growing bulge in her belly somehow weirdly accentuated her beauty, even though it clashed with the rest of Loren's so slim frame. She wasn't as bronzed as Mac, but was also not pale. Her skin had a light golden tan and was firm, supple, strong and soft; evidence of her healthy lifestyle and no gram of unnecessary fat, considering the way it stretched tightly across her belly, her abs still in evidence. The high cut panties made her shapely legs look a mile long.

She didn't notice his appreciation and proceeded to get dressed. However, these few moments would be etched into Harm's memory for the rest of his life; it being the first time he'd seen almost all of Loren's body exposed. This vision of beauty before him would fuel many a fantasy, not to mention wet dreams and lonely sessions with his hand.

Loren was exquisite, putting every other woman to shame. In Harm's eyes even Aphrodite de Milos could not compete.

A feeling rose in his chest, one he hadn't known before in his entire life, and it was one of possessiveness and fierce protectiveness over this precious member of his new family and over the baby she carried. The fact that he felt so about the baby was not new to him, but the fact that he felt that way about Loren, and even so fiercely, took him by complete surprise.

The slow change of their relationship that Loren had started at the mall by kissing him on the lips had just received a new boost and it was, though slowly, gaining speed to what would become the next great change in their relationship and feelings, one which would turn them into a true family, not just two friends raising a baby.

That was the moment he'd committed what could've been the worst mistake of his life, saying something that could've had Loren make sure he'd never be capable of getting a woman pregnant or even making love ever again. His mouth namely got away from him.

"Your breasts are bigger, fuller." he blurted out without thinking and when he realized he'd said it he paled and his eyes widened in mortification.

Loren's head snapped towards him so quickly she almost got whiplash.

"What!?"

Harm stuttered "Um... er... Nothing." and he started backing out of the doorway from where he'd been admiring her.

"Hold it!" she ordered. Even though it had been said in an even, calm voice it stopped Harm in his tracks immediately. He'd learned a long time ago that people were the most dangerous when they got quiet.

'Oh, crap.' he swallowd 'I'm dead.'

She marched over to him, unheeding of the fact she was still practically half-naked, not even having had the chance to do-up her bra, and Harm's eyes were against his will rivetted to Loren's full breasts and the upper edge of areolas he could see peeking over the lace of the demi-cups. The areolas that were dark brown now, he guessed from her pregnancy. The areolas that were now being revealed almost to the nipples as she walked.

Oh god, there was no way he could from now on look at Loren at work without getting hard, because his mind would immediately provide the image of what was under that demure, unflattering uniform. Thank god they wouldn't be working on cases together anymore because there was no way he would be capable of stringing together a coherent sentence if she was the opposition, since he couldn't help but imagine her sitting there in only the underwear she had on. And because of their living arrangements he'd know EXACTLY what she had on underneath. He was so screwed.

Loren stopped in front of him which made Harm groan desperately as the sudden halt of movement caused one large nipple to reveal itself for a fraction of a second since she hand't closed the hook of the bra on her back yet. He barely held in the urge to slide that bra down and take the tempting peak into his mouth, to see if it was as rubbery and delicious as it looked.

"Just when did you see my breasts?" she asked sharply.

Harm tore his gaze away from her chest with great difficulty and looked into her eyes, noticing the fury in them.

He was a healthy, adult male who hadn't had sex in over two years and was now living with a very attractive woman, whom he had just seen in her underwear, and who was obviously fertile, a knowledge which was important to his primal self, the primal self which chose mates according to which would give him the strongest children. And because of this utter lack of sex life for the last few years he was especially vulnerable to the sight and the extreme proximity of an adult, attractive, half-naked female with whom he was somehow emotionally involved. And this utterly desirable and magnetic woman was standing before him wearing only a blue underwear set, made up of high cut panties and a racy bra with demi cups, showing off her abundant breasts almost to her nipples. How could he NOT react to this?

"A year and a half ago." he managed to reply, while keeping his eyes focused on her face, out of respect, self-preservation and a desperate grip on his sanity.

"When?" the word cut through the air like a whip.

Harm's ear-tips reddened and he looked away from her. "Christmas 2001." he mumbled.

"Christmas 2001." Loren repeated to herself and after a few seconds a fond, wistful smile pulled on her lips. "That was some dress." she mused aloud, while mournfully musing over the fact that she couldn't wear it anymore, at least not for another eight months, until she got her figure back.

"Yeah, it was." agreed Harm softly, deep in the memories. "And that dress made it perfectly clear just what was under it."

"You checked me out." was delivered in a flat tone. A statement, not a question.

"Of course I did." he exclaimed defensively. "How could I not? You had this stunning deep red silk dress on that clung to you like a second skin, emphasizing your best assets, but not showing even a little of cleavage. That was true art. You knocked the breath out of me. Of course I checked you out..." mentally he added 'several times' before continuing"... every guy at the party was checking you out. Even Bud. Harriet looked about ready to castrate him."

At her incredulous expression he grew even more defensive. "And don't tell me that wasn't your intention. You don't dress like that without trying to get attention from men."

A smug grin of female satisfaction appeared. "It was some subconscious seeking for confirmation that I was still attractive to men after I discovered the guy I was with was cheating on me. I was on a rebound." she quickly changed the subject, not wanting to dwelve on it. "So, you thought I was attractive?"

Harm stuttered to a halt, he hadn't meant to reveal that. Even though he'd still been stuck on Mac like a tick to skin back then, he hadn't been blind enough not to notice a certain gorgeous blonde. He'd liked what he saw, but just hadn't been interested back then. He had never known his appreciation of her good looks would eventually come out and especially not that it would be important and now he had no choice.

Either he'd tell her the truth, possibly making them uncomfortable, or take the coward's way out, deny it and thus hurt her, damage her self-esteem and ego, and destroy all the progress they'd made since they'd met, sending them back to square one.

It was a no brainer.

"Of course I did." he said, surprised by her surprise at the fact. It was like the thought of him checking her out, liking what he saw, was something new to her.

"And now?" she whispered timidly, with a shaking voice, obviously afraid of the answer, of a rejection.

"I still do." he said lowly, looking into her eyes, willing her to believe him.

Even though this would not mean an immediate change in their relationship, he still wanted her to know she was attractive to him, if only to make her happy for at least a few minutes. Until the last few weeks he had never, in almost 4 years of knowing her, seen her happy. Triumphant, yes, smug, yes, sad, yes, melancholy, yes, but happy, no. Besides, what they had now was too important to screw up due to cowardice, both of their futures, THEIR future, was hanging on what he would say. "You're a gorgeous, attractive woman, Loren." He hoped she understood he hadn't complimented only on her physical looks, but also on her true personality, Harm observed Loren anxiously.

Upon hearing the flattering words Loren smiled brilliantly and nodded, happy with his answer, dropping the topic with that. The fact that he'd shared that much, that she'd gotten him to say this much, was a triumph by itself and Loren knew when not to push anymore. She'd gotten more than she'd ever expected, or hoped for, the confirmation that the man she respected and liked not only respected and liked her (well, unless she pulled a stunt), but also found her gorgeous. And not just gorgeous as in nice looking, but also attractive as a person. The latter was to her even more important than her looks. Still, the fact that he thought she was physically beautiful even pregnant, reached her heart and resounded in it for quite a while.

'And he thinks I'm beautiful even now, when pregnant. Two years ago he thought I was just attractive, now he thinks I'm gorgeous.'

Suddenly becoming aware of her state of undress she blushed and hurried back into the bedroom to finish getting ready.

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	61. Chapter 61

I updated my personal profile if anyone's interested. Nothing big, just added a list of my favorite books, if anyone's looking for ideas for reading something that's doesn't require internet access. Most of those books are either in English originally or have been translated into English.

Thanks for the reviews for the previous part, please keep them coming!

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Harm retreated then, satisfied he'd saved their family and their relationship, whatever it was.

Unknown to him Loren's worry, which had occupied her before their showdown, returned when real life, in the form of work, intruded on her happy glow.

When she came back out Harm was surprised to see her troubled and quiet again. Her behaviour then continued at work and again at home and he tried to read a book, but was constantly distracted by her nervous movements.

At last she seemed to have decided something and approached him where he was sitting on the couch with a book in his hands. It was an interesting book. Or at least he assumed so. He hadn't read even a line in the last half hour because of the female diversion.

She sat next to him on the couch and turned around to look into his eyes, curling her legs beneath her. It was getting increasingly harder for her to execute maneuvers she'd found simple and easy just weeks ago and it frustrated her.

Harm put the book down and looked into her earnest gaze, lifting his eyebrow questioningly, giving her his full attention.

"I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, for my check-up and I wanted to ask if you'd like to come with me." she wrung her hands from nerves. "It's my first sonogram." she finally revealed and realization dawned upon Harm.

This was big.

This was very big and serious. No wonder she'd been so nervous. Couples do that. Expecting parents do that. It would be their first public statement that they were really doing this together, really living together, really intending to raise this baby together and that HE would be this baby's father.

"I'd like that." he answered softly and Loren's anxious expression vanished, turning into a relieved smile. "When's the appointment?"

"Oh. 1300 at Bethesda."

"What do you say I talk to the Admiral first thing tomorrow morning and then we take one car there?"

Loren was still insisting on driving to work in separate cars, not wanting to advertise their new relationship to everyone at work. Harm thought it a waste of gas and superflous, as their coworkers would still find out about them eventually. Something like that can't be hidden forever, sooner or later one of them would slip up or someone from work would see them somewhere together, perhaps in a grocery store buying food together, aka doing long-term couply stuff, or in a mall or just having a tender moment with Harm's hand on her belly, both of them caught up in their small miracle. But Loren wanted it that way, was adamant, so he was going along with it. For now.

Which is why he wasn't surprised to see her frown. "Loren, it's dumb driving there with both cars when we can go in one. It's easier to find parking for one car than for two, not to mention the gas and the money we'll save."

He knew he was playing on the right instrument by reminding her of the costs. Loren spent each penny carefully, something that comes with being only a LT living on a LT's pay in DC and avoided throwing away money as much as possible.

Well, except for when she noticed a SALE sign of a store that was selling either clothes or shoes or both... but that's a completely different matter. One he was careful not to mention in front of her. The woman knew where he kept his service weapon and ammo (and had access to kitchen knives and his private parts when he was asleep) afer all...

He could see her struggling to decline and was quietly celebrating when she was quite obviously calculating exactly how much they would spare by going in one car. He would use this later on to get her to agree to take only one car to work from now on. Having a family with her was not something he was ashamed of, hell, he was even proud.

'Let them know, who cares!'

Harm decided to give it one last nudge.

"Besides, if we go with one car you'll be able to look at the sonogram picture all you'll want on the way back, since you won't have to drive."

Even though Loren was still very much apprehensive about the baby she'd settled down in the last weeks a lot, something he was tentatively taking credit for, and he was beginning to suspect she was starting to want it, anticipate it and was looking forward to being a mother.

He suspected that she'd secretly always wanted to be a mother, have children, but not a single mother, without anyone to share it with, the burdens, the obligations, the joy and happiness, the costs, the moments of crisis of faith and the moments when her insecurities would attack,... Now that she was no longer alone in this she was finally beginning to flourish, blossom in her new role, getting accustomed to it, starting to like it, want it and anticipate it with eagerness.

She never said as much, but it was the impression Harm got from observing her. At the beginning she'd always been so haunted and scared when talking about the baby, worrying her lower lip and wringing her hands; but now there was a light in her eyes, the constant small smile curving her full lips and anticipation and desire for it to be here soon in her voice.

Now that she'd asked him to go with her to the doctor's appointment he also knew the reason for her being on pines and needles the last couple of days and he had the feeling she'd be completely taken by the sonogram picture of her unborn child and would want to look at it at every chance possible.

His motives for wanting to take one car were purely selfish. He was anxious too and if he had Loren with him on the drive over he was sure to lose some of his nerves. Anxiety loves company. A tender female touch soothes the savagest of beasts.

Besides, with her sitting right there next to him he'd know where she was and that she wouldn't have a traffic accident. She was stressed as it was, exhausted from the pregnancy, and he wasn't that sure that she should be driving. That was the main cause for why he'd tried to convince her to car pool to the office in the first place, he'd seen with his own eyes how shaky she was from puking in the morning and thus didn't believe she should be operating a vehicle. But Loren had shot down his idea everytime he presented it, probably because of a need to retain what independence she could, which was something he could understand, but it still didn't make him worry any less.

At least if they took one car to the hospital he wouldn't have to worry about her and how she was doing and he was sure that deep down she herself wanted to be around someone else. Perhaps that way she would become more receptive to the idea of driving to the office together.

In all honesty saving gas wasn't Harm's motivation, though it was a contributing factor, the main reason was the one previously stated, but the symbolic meaning that went with it was important too. They lived together, shared their lives, planned to spend the rest of their lives together, were intending to raise a human together and had even opened a joint bank account, but they were still hiding it all.

It was beginning to wear on him and he just wanted to come out of the closet with it.

He didn't care what people would say, his friends would understand and if they wouldn't then that was just too bad for them. Frankly, Harm was proud of what he'd accomplished. Even though he himself hadn't fathered the child, finding a suitable mate with a certain shared life-long future together, was something that increasingly less people of his class and age were managing to accomplish.

Increasingly more 30-something successful career-oriented people were ending up alone and lonely, partly because they or their prospective partners had simply become too selfish in their hunt for the next success and next promotion to be willing to compromise (the trend of one night stands and casual sexual relationship is a clear manifestation of egotism) and not just demand things to be on their terms as they are prone to do. Since compromising, communication and selflessness, giving not taking, are what makes a relationship successful in the long term it's no wonder people like that end up alone.

But Harm wouldn't end up alone. He'd grown out of that, had evolved into a person capable of lifeterm relationships, and had now found himself a woman who wanted to raise her child with him and spend the rest of her life with him.

Harm was proud of himself and of Loren and it grated on him that he had to keep their relationship and new status quiet.

He was waiting anxiously as the lines on Loren's lovely face cleared and her frown disappeared.

"Okay, you win. We'll take your car."

He carefully kept his face serious, certain that a grin would've sparked anger in Loren, yet nonetheless happy to have established a precedent on which he would lean in the future.

Loren was now as volatile as nitro-glicerin in it's liquid form and he wanted to live to see this baby grow up after all...

--

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	62. Chapter 62

Revised and rewritten.

Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming, the last batch blew me away in it's quantity!

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The next day, at the beginning of the lunch hour, Loren showed up in his office and mutely extended a hand.

He'd been just finishing writing something and blinked up at her confused.

"Yes?"

"The keys." she still held her hand extended, palm up.

"What keys?"

Eyeroll and the beginning of irritation on her lovely face. With her pale skin every time her face flushed it was very noticeable, something she cursed (if she blushed) and was thankful for (if she was angry, because it helped intimidate the causer). And when she got angry he got secretly turned on, she was hot with her cheeks flushed, her eyes spitting fire, her chest heaving and the low primal growls coming from low in her throat. Maybe he was weird, but a very pissed off Loren was becoming a definite turn on for him.

"Your car keys, please." that had been said in just too sweet a tone to be believable. Having gotten to know her, Harm knew she was on her last shred of patience. "I'll be waiting for you in it."

Harm sighed deeply. She was still persisting in nobody knowing about them. Without a comment he fished out his keys and handed them over.

Wordlessly she closed her fingers around them and turned on her heel, sauntering out of his office.

He followed her with his eyes, watching as she entered her own office, gathered her things, then secured the office and left the bullpen.

He sighed again, hoping she'd come around soon. This hiding was tiring to him and he hated hiding things from his friends.

Quickly he turned his computer off and secured his own work space, then made his way out of the building.

Arriving at the parking lot he was surprised not to see Loren in the car, but as he ambled his way to the metal behemoth he spied a tuff of dark blond hair barely peeking out, visible only if you were close to the car, looking under a specific angle. He shook his head exasperated, Loren had even scooted down in the seat to avoid being seen. If she kept that up he was gonna get some serious self-esteem issues cause what she was doing could also be misconstrued as if she was embarrassed of _him_, of being involved in a lifeterm relationship with _him._

When he got to his car he opened the driver's door and got in. He glanced at her and was, not for the first time, struck with the thought of how right she looked there, sitting next to him in his car, pregnant. It was like she belonged there, she and the baby, in his car, but most especially in his life.

He sighed mentally, he was really getting soft and more emotional the older he got. He just hoped that didn't indicate any cardio problems, as it normally did. He'd have to get checked out soon. "Ready?"

She just nodded so he started the car and pulled out, putting them on the course towards Bethesda.

They'd been driving for five minutes when Loren demanded he stop the car. Harm, who had been thinking about the exam, failed to connect the dots immediately. "What? Why?"

"Because unless you want me to throw up allover this expensive Lexus' plush interior, you'd better do as I say!" she gritted out, barely holding in her breakfast.

That clinched it and the SUV pulled to a stop on the shoulder with a screeching of tires, clouds of dust and stones flying everywhere. The moment it was at a complete stop Loren was bolting out of it and to the nearby shrubbery.

Harm followed her quickly, but could do nothing more than hold her and rub her back as she heaved, not even hold her hair away from her face, since she had it in a bun, as she normally did for work. He really felt inadequate and helpless.

When she was done he used a moisturised tissue to wipe her face of her tears and around her mouth of the bitter stuff. Then he passed her a bottle of water and she rinsed her mouth of the remains. Taking the chewing gum he passed her, unaware of the fact he carried them with him specially for her, she popped it into her mouth and sighed in pleasure as it dispelled the foul taste.

Loren silently let him tend to her, raising no objections. Truth be told, she liked it, she liked him taking care of her. Before, she'd always endured illness and even pregnancy as she'd done every other aspect of her life. Alone. It felt good to have someone take care of her for a change, to care about her, even if that someone was Harm. Especially if that someone was Harm, probably the best and most honorable man she knew, if sometimes oblivious and not as observant as he should've been. The best looking one too. And the best part of it all was that he was now here, with her, not tending to some other pregnant woman in that way, but _hers._ Even though she didn't admit to herself she'd mentally put her claim on him.

When Loren was strong enough they returned to the car, where she mutely allowed him to seat her and fasten her seatbelt, with him being careful that the belts weren't across her growing belly, but above and beneath it.

She could've done that and take care of herself after vomitting by herself, but she was making concessions for him, knowing how helpless he was feeling most of the time when it came to side-effects of her pregnancy and how much he wanted to help her. Letting him do that for her was the least she could do and she knew it meant a lot to him.

What she didn't know was that she was learning and had learnt a lot about successful longterm relationships already, namely: she was willing to compromise, was letting him become even more involved in her life and was not trying to assert an independence against him.

This is where many modern couples fail: one or both parties of those couples don't understand that once you tie your life with another's you are no longer independent, but your every action and decision affects the other, either just your partner, or also kids; and for every decision you make you have to consider how it would affect them.

For the rest of the drive Loren was largely silent, which of itself was nothing new or strange for her. Soon after she'd transferred to the HQ Harm had noticed that she usually kept to herself, spoke little to other people and even then her comments were sharp and sarcastic, known defences of someone who is afraid of being hurt again and thus hides their heart behind an indifferent, sarcastic mask, guarding their heart jealously.

Now, as they were living together things were starting to look up, she'd begun to slowly open up, speak of some inconsequential things without her biting wit. They still had a long way to go, but Harm was confident that Loren would some day let him in fully. He was fully prepared to win her trust on her own terms, on her own time, no matter how long it took. He just wished she'd believe that he'd never intentionally or consciously hurt her, because that was the last thing he'd ever want to do.

All too soon he was parking the car in the parking lot of the hospital. After turning off the engine he turned his head and just looked at her. Noticing lack of movement she turned towards him and rose one elegant eyebrow questioningly. The small trembling of her chin and the rapid inflating of her lungs and nostrils told the story of how nervous she was.

Harm just smiled and gently took her small hand in his, squeezing it tenderly in support. Getting out of the car, he was by her side instantly before she even knew what was happening.

With his usual show of good manners he opened the car's door for her and helped her down from her high perch.

She was not a tall person and getting out of the Lexus would've required a slight jump even in her normal condition, though she'd still slightly resent anyone pointing that out by helping her out of it.

But now that she was pregnant she avoided anything that would put unnecessary stress on her body and so appreciated Harm's help and attentiveness. He closed the door and engaged the locks with his remote. Pocketing the small device Harm smiled at Loren, who'd been waiting at his side while he did that, and put his hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the entrance. Quite frankly he was surprised she was letting him do that, as some women had in his past found that gesture to be condescending and chauvinistic, even though it wasn't meant to be.

As they walked together she glanced up at him and noticed his stiff spine and squared shoulders, as if he was walking into battle.

'So, he must be nervous too. Good to see I'm not the only one.'

They'd been together for only a few short weeks, but already she was learning that she didn't have to do everything by herself, that it's a good thing if one leans on other people occasionally. Harm was a good teacher, a rock when she needed it, making her know he was there for her without any unnecessary talk, talk that would probably make her shy away by having her weakness pointed out aloud.

He was a good match for her, knew when to talk, when not to talk and when to just hold her. She was incredibly lucky to have him.

When she processed that, a question crossed her mind. ' But who is there for _him_, who does _he_ lean on? '

Quickly thinking over the years of his life that she'd personally witnessed she realized that while he'd always been there for others, he had never had anyone there for him, not even his once-best friend.

Ever since Loren had joined JAG, Mac had never been there for Harm, certainly not the way Harm had always been there for her.

But Mac wasn't the only one. Everyone else, from Chegwidden to Bud, Harriet and Sturgis, had always expected of him to fix their problems, to be there for them without question, yet they never did the same for him in return. They just took and never gave anything back. Harm was definitely not perfect, he had flaws, but he had always been too good and too generous and self-sacrificing for his own good and thus the people he felt closest to had always exploited him. He had never let anyone support him because he had never had anyone to support him.

Harm was long since overdue for a true friend, for a person who would let him lean on them, hold _him _ instead of Harm holding them, be a rock for _him _ instead of expecting Harm to be a rock for them.

It was then that LT Loren Singer, formerly a self-involved and solitary, unliked member of the human pack, decided she would be that person for him.

She slipped her hand into his in mutual support and smiled tenderly up at him when his eyes shot down to her. She squeezed his hand gently and got an answering squeeze in return. She was pleased to see his shoulders and back relax at that and his step become lighter, getting a slight bounce to it.

Together they entered the hospital and a new stage in their relationship.

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REVIEW!


	63. Chapter 63

Wow, your reviews and their number really blew me away and definitely made my week. Thank you all! Please keep up with the reviews.

Btw., I rewrote and changed the second half of the previous chapter in case you read it before it was last reposted.

Big thanks for the help for this chapter go to **Les** and **Lynn** and to American Pregnancy Association's website (americanpregnancy. org), who had a very good and detailed explanation of how OB/GYN visits for expectant mothers go. But even this leaves room for error. As you all know I've never been part of such a doctor's appointment, either as a patient (since I'm not a woman), neither as the patient's partner and neither as the doctor.

But, considering my penmanship skills I should really get a medical degree, they are namely on-par with every other doctor. Think if I write to John Hopkins' and send them proof of my scrawl they'll send me a medical degree?

Some trivia to make it more educational: Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Haley's Comet came into view. When He died in 1910, Haley's Comet came into view again.

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They'd been drawing strength from each other when the nurse appeared and called out "Singer!".

Loren stood up and, when Harm stood up as well, looked at him with an amused expression. "You planning on witnessing my gynecological exam too?"

Horror came to Harm's face, having heard of what those exams can be like, what with metal rods being stuck where they really don't belong, and his face blanched, then turned green.

"Ah, you don't need me for that, I think I'll stay out here, out of your hair." he tried to bow out graciously.

She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself. "Really? I was hoping you'd be in there, I need you in there, I mean you did say you'll support me and stand by my side through everything." For added effect she stuck her lower lip out and made a sad expression, those big blue eyes staring up at him, a wet sheen coming to them. "Okay, then, just wait here, it'll be over soon. I hope." She sighed in pain and disappointment, which Harm didn't know was fake. Then she turned around and entered the exam room.

She didn't know what the hell had she thought he'd do, but she should've expected what happened next. As soon as she'd entered the room the door opened again and a deeply green Harmon Rabb Jr. stood there. Though it was obvious to anyone looking that he was greatly disturbed by something and was on the verge of vomiting, or running for the hills, his determination and the sheer strength of will to go through with it were obvious with his straight back, squared shoulder and a determined line of his jaw. He looked ready and willing to go through with it even if it meant passing out during the middle of it, or puking up, which by his color seemed pretty probable.

"Harm." Loren was about to explain that she'd just been kidding when she was cut off by the door opening yet again and the nurse, a middle-aged woman, entered.

Then it was too late to say anything as Loren was ordered to put on a paper gown and when she came back the nurse started taking all important information, like Loren's medical history, which Harm followed carefully, memorising it, for when he was called upon to know it.

Then came the taking of her weight (which Loren didn't allow the nurse to repeat aloud, so Harm wouldn't overhear), her height, bloodpressure, any medication she was taking,... Next Loren was being ushered into an adjoining bathroom to pee into a cup. When she came back the disgust on her lovely face was amusing.

Then, as quickly as she'd come the nurse also left, leaving the two standing in an awkward silence. Just as Loren opened her mouth to tell Harm he could wait for the sonogram in the waiting room the door opened again, cutting her off again, and she couldn't help but let out a growl of irritation.

This time it was her doctor, who greeted her pleasantly and then stopped in surprise at seeing Harm there. "Oh. Hello..." She glanced from one very obviously uncomfortable Harm to an as-well-uncomfortable Loren. "I'm Ellen Bolsworth and you must be the father..." She approached Harm, extending her hand to shake it, which he did.

Ellen was one of the few civilian doctors Bethesda employed and thus wasn't big on protocol and ranks, always calling her patients by their name to put them at ease. And to make things less awkward, since after all a part of her job was to get intimately acquainted with a certain part of their anatomy.

"Uh... yeah... I'm Harmon Rabb. The father." Ellen hadn't caught the way Harm'd said the word, nor the look in his eyes. It was a mixture of feelings, like surprised, honored, flattered and joyous. Not to mention proud.

This was the first time he'd introduced himself as that and the first time anyone had referred to him in that way and it had tremendous effect on him.

Meanwhile, Loren shook her head in exasperation when she saw his chest puff out in pride, before deflating when he remembered he wasn't the one to have gotten her pregnant. It was probably some male thing, to be proud of the fact that he'd proven his virility by knocking up a girl. She was sure had he really been the one to have gotten her pregnant he would've been strutting around like a peacock by now.

"Great to finally be meeting you, Harm. Normally men aren't present for the gynecological exam and come in only for the good part, but since Loren obviously wants you here I guess you can stay. Loren, you can go ahead and lay down on the table."

Loren looked apprehensively from Ellen to Harm, which Ellen misinterpreted. With a grin she remarked. "Don't worry, you can trust me with him even though he _is_ quite a stunning specimen."

Harm's ears turned dark red, but he remained silent, his eyes evading her gaze.

Knowing she wasn't able to prevent this from happening without humiliating them both and blowing their cover Loren nodded and turned her back on them.

When she got on the table and put her legs into the stirrups Harm quickly positioned himself near the head of the bed with his back turned towards the business end of it, while Ellen covered her with a sheet to preserve her patient's modesty. Mostly it had to do with the surveillance camera in the corner rather than with Harm. Meanwhile, Loren was flooded with relief at having gotten such a considerate man, who was trying to make the situation as easy as possibly for her. Many other men would've doubtlessly taken advantage of the situation to take a peek at what she had.

Harm was standing by the head of the bed and took Loren's hand in his own, squeezing it gently in support. Loren looked up at him and smiled gratefully.

Whenever she felt discomfort due to the examination Harm's face echoed the feeling, whenever she felt pain she could see Harm wince sympathetically and felt him squeeze her hand gently in support. Soon, she focused on him completely, forgetting everything else.

She was surprised when Ellen suddenly announced the exam was finished and left the room, but not before telling Loren she should get dressed and go into the room nextdoor for the sonogram. Wide eyed Loren realized it was Harm's presence which had made it seem so short.

Her eyes then softened when she looked at the man in question. "Harm, I'm grateful that you're keeping your word about standing by my side through it all, but there are some things it's just better I do alone, for both of us. I was making a joke out in the waiting room, I just didn't expect you to take it this seriously. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

Harm looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry for embarrassing you too. I guess I really was too tense and nervous, that's why I took it so seriously. But I meant it when I promised to be there for everything and that's why you'll have to tell me when you'll need to do something by yourself. Now let's go to the other room, I can't wait to see our baby."

Their gazes were steady as the meaning of his words sank in. They were both (in)famous for their skill in interpersonal communication, of telling someone they needed something or just speaking their heart. It would mean a lot of adjustment and growth for them both to be able to communicate and their willingness to change, to better for the sake of each other, their relationship, their baby and their future together had immense ramifications.

She continued looking at him for a few seconds longer then quickly slinked behind the screen and changed back into her clothes. Then they moved to leave the room, Harm's hand again finding the small of her back, something she was slowly getting used to and was even beginning to like.

With a small smile over her shoulder she stepped through the portal.

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REVIEW!


	64. Chapter 64

Okay, here's the new part!

Wow, I absolutely ADORE new ff. net features, like seeing not just the number of hits to the stories, but also the number of visitors and their locations (they are probably recording and tracking IP's). I rather look at visitor stats than hit stats, so I'll be giving you the visitor stats.

This month the US is of course on the first spot with 2560 visitors, then Germany - 337, UK - 307, Nederlands - 200, Canada - 242 , Australia - 144, Slovakia - 69, Poland - 89, France - 90, Czech - 37, Spain - 56, Austria - 33, Denmark - 24, Norway - 37, New Zealand - 27, Japan - 27, Sweeden 19, Italy - 22, Switzerland - 20, Hungary - 22, Ireland - 15, Mexico - 8, Portugal - 11, Belgium - 10.

Then less than 10 visitors per country this month, mostly from more or less exotic places: Malaysia - 7, Singapore - 8, UAE - 6, Finland - 8, Brazil - 8, Slovenia - 7, Puerto Rico - 5, South Africa -3, N/A - 5, Croatia - 5, Colombia - 2, Romania - 6, Luxemburg - 2, Israel - 4, Europe - 5 (Huh? Why is Europe as a standalone when the countries from Europe are listed separately?), Honduras - 3, South Korea - 5, Hong Kong - 1, Lithuania - 1, Phillipines - 4, Estonia - 3, Malta - 2, Jamaica - 1, Indonesia - 2, Saudi Arabia - 2, Jordan, Sri Lanka - 2, Argentina - 1, China - 1, Venezuela - 1, India - 1, Iceland - 1, Oman - 1, Guadeloupe -1 and Russia - 1.

Wow, definitely didn't know I have readers from so many different nationalities. I have to say it makes me truly humble to know people from truly allover the world are reading what I write. More than that, it gives me an incredible, mind-numbing performance anxiety. How can I hope to give so many people from so many different backgrounds what they want...

Okay, people, please do me a favor and each one of you to read this chapter, please send me a hello in your native language! You can't imagine how much that'll mean to me.

Nothing more needed, just a hello. It'll just take 5 seconds or so of your time. I have anonymous reviewing turned on at all times so there's no problem.

Ethnology has always been one of my passions and it would really mean a lot to me if you did me this favor. Thank you kindly! :)

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They stepped inside the sonogram room to see Ellen sitting next to a machine.

Getting on the exam table Loren pulled her blouse up and skirt down, to reveal her small baby bump.

First, Ellen measured her abdomen. "You're mostly on target for 23 weeks."

"What does that mean? Am I too fat?" asked Loren, fearful for her figure.

"No, don't worry, you're not." Ellen shook her head and took a tube into her hands, unscrewing the cap

"Okay, this is gonna be cold, but it's actually at room's temperature." warned Ellen before she squeezed a clear gel onto Loren's tummy, making her gasp in temperature shock.

Then Ellen stirred the gel with a wand, all the while looking at a monitor where there was suddenly a grainy, black-white image of... something.

No matter how he strained his eyes Harm just couldn't make out what the hell they were looking at. Glancing down at his life partner and seeing the confused pinch to her brow he realized she was feeling the same.

"Okay, everything looks okay, size of the baby is on-target for 23 weeks of gestation age. Ah, here's the reason for the larger abdomen circumference. You're carrying a bit more amniotic fluid than average, but not enough to be worried."

Ellen sent a warm glance at Loren, who HAD been worried about it. Harm was thankful she hadn't seen him smirk at her obvious relief. He knew what that meant, Loren would grow bigger sooner and privately he couldn't wait to see her waddle around like a cute little duck, he would definitely get hours of amusement from it. He just hoped he'd survive his duck jokes, which were just a normal part of pregnancy.

Ellen went back to reading the mysterious image and began pointing out various body parts to awe-struck Harm and Loren. Their hands had meanwhile reached for each other's without conscious thought and now they were holding them tightly. Loren's face was bathed with tears and not even Harm had escaped having a sheen to his eyes.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she then turned to the couple. Harm and Loren looked at each other uncertainly and seemed to have a conversation with only their eyes. Finally they looked back at Ellen and, their throats clogged with emotion, just nodded.

"Congratulations, you're having a girl!" she beamed. Loren sent a watery full-toothed grin at Harm, who smiled back in return and impulsively kissed her on the forehead.

They both froze at the contact, then slowly parted, looking deeply into each other's eyes. The moment was broken when Ellen flipped a switch and a deep lub-dub sound was heard, the sound of the baby's heartbeat.

Her eyes shooting to the monitor Loren faced the astounding truth that she no longer feared the future or motherhood, but looked forward to it. She no longer saw the baby as a mistake that would ruin her life, but loved it as fiercely as only a mother can love her child, not knowing that she felt another love, just as fierce, but different, for the man standing next to her. Her hand unconsciously moving to her belly to caress it, her eyes were fixed on the frozen picture of the tiny life she was carrying inside herself.

Harm, seeing Loren's attention was on the monitor, had always known a good opportunity when he saw one and this was it.

He took the small black, jeweler's box out of his pocket and came even closer to his elected, who was gazing entranced at the image of the life inside her.

Ellen, seeing the box, her eyes widening when she realized his intent, quietly but quickly removed herself from the room, earning herself a thankful nod from the man, who then turned to the owner of his heart.

"Loren." he murmured and was surprised at how husky his voice was.

"Yes?" with effort she tore her gaze away from the monitor and turned her head to look at him.

She cocked her head at the determination in his stance and when she caught the sight of the box in his hand she gasped. Her heart fluttered for a second, then started beating three times faster.

As Harm finally closed the distance to mere inches she began to tremble from nerves and love.

'Oh my god. He's going to propose!' she thought frantically. Even though it was way too soon in their relationship she found she didn't mind the prospect. From what she'd seen, being married to Harmon Rabb would be the best thing that could ever happen to her. She'd have all she had now, with the addition of more liberties and privileges. Nice, pleasant liberties and privileges. Sexy and hot. Delicious and extremely pleasurable. Liberties that her second trimester hormones would definitely welcome wholeheartedly. As in squealing and bouncing in excitement.

Ok, yeah, so she was horny most of the time when around Harm now. What you gonna do about it?

She was a healthy woman in her sexual peak who was living with a very handsome man and she had a whole bunch of very fun hormones running amok in her body.

But the hormone running through her at this second was of a different kind. Adrenalin.

She was alternately scared and excited.

There was also the thing about him being a good man, the man who had committed himself to her and their baby for life and, something she'd learned during the past few weeks, he was a great roommate, always courteous and attentive. And he cooked, was actually a fantastic chef, thus was already domesticated. Don't forget he ALWAYS put the toilet seat down... All in all, great references for the position of a husband.

When Harm reached over to open the box Loren's heartbeat increased tenfold and she knew with absolute certainty what her answer would be.

Simultaneously with the box popping open Loren uttered a "Yes." even though Harm hadn't said anything yet.

Harm's shoulders sagged in relief as he exhaled. "Good. I was worried you wouldn't want it."

Then he reached into the box, pulled out the piece of jewelry and went around the bed, putting it around her neck.

Loren looked in bemusement at the golden necklace shining brightly in the light, trying to reconcile what had just happened.

The proposal she hadn't known she wanted hadn't happened. There hadn't been a ring in the small box, but a necklace. Granted, a very lovely necklace, but no matter how lovely it still wasn't an engagement ring.

As Harm came back around she decided to analyze her sudden revelation about wanting to be married to Harm at a later date.

Harm stood in front of her and lightly fingered the piece of jewelry where it lay on her breastbone, both of them ignoring the fact his fingers were actually touching her breasts. "Like it?" he asked huskily and for the first time Loren took a good look at it.

The necklace was high quality gold, as was the small rectangle hanging from it. There on that plate of gold were three letters, made of sparkling silver and written in cursive script. 'MOM'

Loren felt her lower lip suddenly start trembling from the onslaught of emotions and tears tore down her cheeks as if they were rapids in a river.

With a sob she threw herself into Harm's arms just as they closed around her. There she proceeded to her eternal embarrassment bawl her eyes out.

Harm just held her, holding her deep in his strong arms, soothingly running a hand down her golden curls.

After a minute the door opened quietly and Ellen stepped in, stopping when she saw the couple in their position. Meeting Harm's gaze she nodded understandingly and quietly left the room again, leaving them to collect themselves, fully familiar with those pregnant crying-at-the-drop-of-the-hat jags.

And if a JAG couldn't afford herself a crying jag in privacy, who could?

Honestly now, how many of you had forgotten Harm had gone to the jewelry store during that long trip to the mall? More honestly, how many of you had actually paid enough attention to notice him raiding the store and coming out with a small, black jewelry box?

Tell me in a REVIEW! ;-)


	65. Chapter 65

First off, I'd like to thank you all for your Hello's, they definitely made my day, it's great to hear from people from so many different countries and backgrounds. Internet really is just a small village. So, thank you!

Next order of business:I'm thinking of making important changes to this fic, I forwarded the suggestions to Lynn, and depending on what she thinks of them I'll decide whether to implement them or throw them away.

Thanks for the reviews and please keep them up!

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It was a few days later and Harm was looking at the clock, worried. Sitting on the couch by the large windows that spanned the length of the living area he'd spent the last hour alternatively looking from the clock to the world outside and back again.

"Where the hell is she?" he muttered to himself, glancing again at the storm raging outside. She'd promised him she'd come home soon and that had been 2 hours ago.

_She was writing furiously into a case file when he'd opened the door, everyone else already having gone home, so he wasn't hiding the fact they would be going to the same home. It took him calling out her name several times before she registered he was in the room._

_"Loren, I'm about to leave, are you ready to go too?"_

_"Not yet, I have to finish this brief first."_

_"Loren..." Harm started, knowing what was to come and trying to nip it in the bud. _

_She was even more obssessive and more of a workaholic than even he was. In fact, he'd noticed that lately work didn't interest him that much anymore and that he looked forward to going home now, something he had never felt until just months before. He'd been going home to an empty, cold apartment back then, now he was coming home to his woman and their child, his family. He wondered what his father would think if he'd see him now, settling into family life, especially at such a late age, he had namely been born while his father had still been only 21... Harm was now 39... Almost twice the age his father had been when his only child had been born. Then Harm cringed remembering he still hadn't told his mother and Frank of his new familial situation. He'd have to rectify that soon._

_The weather forecast was looking back, almost dark at 1800 due to the storm approaching, and he wanted to get Loren home as fast as possible, but she interrupted him before he could even finish his sentence._

_"Harm, I really have to finish this first. I'll see you back home."_

_He sighed, knowing there would be no changing her mind now. He'd known even before they'd moved in together that she was a stubborn, strong woman, and now that they were living together he'd gotten to know the whole magnitude of it. He now also knew that whenever she used that tone of voice there would be no changing her mind, no negotiations. The only way he could take her home would've been against her will, with her kicking and screaming. Since some staff was still in the building that would've meant announcing their little secret to the world. Besides, with her being pregnant he wasn't willing to risk the baby by carrying Loren in a fireman's carry as her entire weight would've pressed down on her belly. On the other hand, if he'd carry her bride-over-the-threshold style, she could do much damage to him._

_"Okay, but don't work too late." he finally gave in, but she was already deep into her work. Or just ignoring him, not wanting to concede on the "not too late" stipulation._

Looking back at it now he was sure she'd just been ignoring him, unwilling to commit herself to not working too late.

Now he was damn sorry he hadn't insisted she come with him. More than that, he was sorry he had given up to her wish to keep their new relationship a secret for a while. Had they been in the open they would've driven in one car to work. And if they had driven to work in one car then Loren would've had to leave at the same time as he had.

And he wouldn't be here now going sick with worry.

'What will I do if something happened to her?' he asked himself, aware he was behaving quite inappropriately without any proof of anything bad having happened to Loren, but not being able to stop himself. 'What will I do if I lose _them_?' he quickly amended, not sure he was ready to acknowledge just how much she'd come to mean to him in such a short time. 'What will I do if lose her and the baby?'

Forcing himself into action, to occupy himself with something, so he wouldn't constantly go over worst-case scenarios, he tried calling her again and received only a busy-dial-tone, which didn't help matters in the least. Huffing in distress, worry and annoyance he decided to give her no more time. He would drive to the HQ and drag her, kicking and screaming to his car, leaving hers there, and drive her home. He'd already shrugged into his jacket and was grabbing the keys to the Lexus when he heard the rumble of the elevator. Anger, born from fear and anxiety, rushed through his veins as he threw the keys and the coat back down, rushing out of his apartment and into the corridor. He was there waiting when it finally came to a halt and he quickly opened the grates.

"Where the hell have you been!?" he exploded, still remembering his terror at the thought that something had happened to her, then swallowed the rest of his anger when he took in her appearance.

She looked like a drowned rat.

Her cover was soaked through as well as her uniform and she had only gone from the HQ building to her car in the parking lot and then from her car into their building. Her uniform clung to her body, bringing attention to her full, luscious breasts, but more to her pregnant belly, which was now quite obvious. The change to summer whites was only 3 days away and Loren's wardrobe situation was getting desperate. She would need to get maternity uniform in the next few days.

But it wasn't the soaked fabric clinging to his... er, what was she to him anyway? Room-mate? Nah, she was more than that. Girlfriend? Nuh uh. There was an archaic and quite possessive phrase that fit Loren perfectly. _His woman._ Just as he was _her man_. The phrase did not describe partners in romantic relationship only, but it also fit couples who were together, but weren't having a sexual relationship, who were committed to each other, but not romantically involved. And this was the perfect description of their relationship: they were committed and devoted to each other, but weren't _together_ together.

Anyway, what had drawn his attention more than her attractive curves was the extreme exhaustion plainly obvious in her pale face, together with the bruised skin under her eyes. She was shaking and it wasn't just from the cold and the rain.

In Harm's opinion, she looked at the point of a complete collapse.

It took him but a moment to realize all this and he swore "Shit."

The next moment he swept her up into his arms and guided her into the warm, dry apartment.

Closing and locking the door he then ushured her into the bedroom, where he proceeded to unbutton her dark blue uniform jacket, black now, gently batting away her hands when she tried to interfere.

There was no time for modesty now, she was completely wet and cold and in danger of catching at least a cold, if not flue or pneumonia. They would spend the rest of their lives together and at some point one of them _would _fall ill, with the other taking care of them, so she should get used to it ASAP. But because of her condition the matter was even more urgent.

He'd heard from Bud that during pregnancy the woman's immune system is repressed, because half the baby's DNA is foreign and if her immune system wasn't repressed the body would mistake the fetus for a parasite and destroy it. And because the immune system is repressed a pregnant woman is more succeptible to illnesses and their consequences are harsher.

Loren had to get out of her clothes immediately, because the longer she was in them the bigger the threat of catching a cold. Since she was obviously tired, no doubt working herself into the ground again, he would do it for her. Along he also made a mental note to have a stern talk with her about taking a better care of herself. She was pregnant now and anything she did to herself she also did to her, to _their_, baby. Her career would just have to take a backseat to her health and to the baby. Besides, she wasn't a single woman without any obligations anymore, she had someone waiting at home for her, worrying out of his mind as to where she was and what she was doing; so she had to take Harm into equation too. He was already fully emotionally invested in her and if anything happened to her he would be affected as well.

He made quick work of taking off her uniform, ignoring her feeble attempts at fighting him off, while feeling the slow burn of anger at her carelessness. He let this anger feed his determination and efficiency, but did not allow it to overwhelm him. Now was not the time, she would hear what she had coming later.

The fact that he was stripping a beautiful woman down to her undergarments, didn't even manage to break through the haze of anger, worry and determination to his brain, he was completely focused on his task, doing his work with a clinical detachment any doctor would envy, and the fact that he was seeing a LOT of skin from up-close didn't even register with him. At any other time he would've been at least embarrassed, and turned on, at seeing so much of Loren up close and personal, but now he in his mind only saw the goal of getting her into the shower to avoid an illness and not the beautiful, hot and increasingly-undressed woman before him..

When she was at last standing in the bathroom, wearing only her slip, under which her bra and panties were hidden, he put her uniform to dry. Seeing she hadn't made a step towards the shower he grabbed her shoulders and leaned closer so she would look into his eyes. "Either you get into that shower right now without complaint or protest, or I'll take the rest of your clothes off, strip myself and get you under there and heated up myself."

Her blue eyes grew impossibly wide and only at that, much too late, did Harm realize his words could've been taken with a sexual undertone as well. While his intended way of heating her up included warm water and vigorous application of shower gel and shampoo only, heating her up can also be achieved with a certain very pleasurable full-contact-sport type physical activity as well.

He held back a grin, the fact that even exhausted to the point of collapse she still had a dirty mind to immediately think of sex was proof of that second trimester symptome kicking in: increased sex drive. Now he understood why Bud had worn that dopey, I-got-lucky-last-night grin every day for those few months during both of Harriet's earlier pregnancies.

To Harm's surprise Loren actually seemed to give considerate thought to her decision and his surprise was slowly turning into shock when it seemed like she was about to challenge him to get naked and get under the shower with her. In the end though she turned with a regretful sigh and started stripping down. Harm quickly turned his back to her and exited the room to get her some clothes to wear.

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REVIEW!


	66. Chapter 66

Sorry for no update in a REALLY long time, but I was working at what was practically a construction site as a physical force the past few weeks after waking up at 6 AM and then putting in 9 hour workdays in the cold (it's around minus degrees here) and the wind I was too exhausted when I came home to write anything.

So, here is a long chapter to make up for it.

I hope I haven't lost any of you wonderful readers with this long hiatus and I look forward to hearing from you, so please review!

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Knowing some women like (their) men's clothing for lounging around in better than their own, since they're bigger and thus warmer and more comfortable, Harm fished out a pair of clean underwear, warm socks and an old, warm sweat suit of his. Quickly he put the bundle of clothes into the bathroom for Loren to use, while the woman herself was taking her shower behind the shower curtain. A quick flash of regret over not being able to see her naked body, either to be reminded of how a naked woman even looked like, since it'd been so long since he'd last seen one, or to see how Loren in her condition looked like, was immediately ruthlessly beaten down and stuffed back into that small steel footlocker where only any more-than-friends feelings, desires and attraction were locked in. It was getting damned crowded in there...

Then he headed to the kitchen to start a new pot of tea. The shower cut off before the water managed to boil and Harm quickly moved into his bedroom, grabbing a thick blanket along the way.

When Loren finally exited the bathroom, all warm and cozy in Harm's large clothes he was already waiting for her and immediately tucked her into the blanket, then gathered her into a tight embrace.

She could feel his heart beating a mile a minute and his body still shivering from fear for her, knowing it was her fault, or better, the lack of her being around for the past few hours, that had made him so concerned, so terrified; and she tentatively slipped her own hands around him. They stood like that for a while, both enjoying this contact and the comfort it provided.

It had been a long, long, LOOONG time since either of them had had anyone to just hold and get comfort from, a long time since they'd had the chance to cherish the feeling of holding a willing warm body, another person in their arms, their lives having been so empty and lonely for the longest time.

As she basked in the heat of Harm's body, in the strength of his arms around her, his firm waist under her hands and his hard chiseled chest under her cheek, Loren mused over how not once in their short, awkward and unsuccessful relationship had she and Sergei developed such level of intimacy, emotional bond and affection, as she had in such a short time of a platonic relationship with Harm.

The one night she'd spent with Sergei.... er, scratch that, it was probably much less considering how drunk they'd been. They'd been so drunk Sergei not even remembered the act, while Loren only remembered short flashes of straddling a strong male form, riding him through an intoxicated haze to a sloppy, alcohol-dulled climax. One thing she'd never reveal to Harm, because of how ashamed she was, was that she and Sergei had had sex in the dark in Harm's bed while Harm had been out for the night. She just hoped Sergei had changed the sheets after she'd bailed out in panic over what they'd done and awkward atmosphere and done the Walk of Shame after they'd woken up in the morning. That single act of sexual pleasure had done the opposite of what it should've done... instead of the sex creating a bond between the two people in question it had pushed them apart and showed them that they just weren't compatible, weren't meant for each other.

Testament to that was the fact that she barely remembered having sex with Sergei, she'd just woken up with him in the apartment Harm had shared with his brother, in Harm's bed (she still felt guilty over having had sex in Harm's bed without permission and definitely awkward and embarrassed over the mere fact that she'd had sex in a stranger's bed) and she and Sergei had immediately become awkward around each other, not even capable of meeting their eyes. She'd stayed just long enough for both to voice it had been a mistake and that they were better off as friends and then she'd literally ran home in embarrassement. Soon after Sergei had had to leave the country due to no DNA evidence he was Harm Sr.'s son.

The thing was, she and Sergei hadn't tried to be friends, they'd immediately shifted into boyfriend and girlfriend and as such there had been no chance to develop this kind of a close, comfort bond between them due to both having designs of a sexual nature and thus the sexual tension had stiffled any development of anything deeper.

While on the other hand, she and Harm had, after a rough start in their professional relationship, become friendly coworkers years ago, with a much better friendship than Harm had shared with Mac most of the time, so it had not been hard to become admitted friends with the start of their co-habitation and because there had been no sexual tension and no plans for sex in the immediate future, their bond and emotional connection had had the chance to develop in peace and thus had soon blossomed.

And yet, lately when she woke up in his arms she felt a warmth in her heart, one that would not be caused by mere friendship and even a pleasant, lazy kind of heaviness in her lower regions. When she'd first identified it as arousal she had been taken aback by the fact she felt it because of Harm and then, when reflecting more on it, she'd been surprised that the thought of becoming not just emotionally, but also sexually intimate with the man not only didn't seem awkward or weird, but also inviting and most definitely appealing.

While Loren was pondering the differences in her relationships with the two brothers Harm was deliberately not thinking of anything, just letting himself drink in the feel of her warm, agreeable body in his arms, the scent of her shampoo, shower gel, body lotion and of what he could only classify as _she_, a heady combination, filling his nostrils. Deliberately keeping away any memory of the previous hours he just let the feel of her and her presence comfort and calm him down.

The past few minutes he'd only had goals in mind, missions to fulfill, but now that he had stopped for a minute he'd gotten overwhelmed by his emotions of worry and relief.

After he calmed down sufficiently he let one of his arms detach from her body, but left the other one around her shoulders. He quickly bundled her into the living room and onto the couch, seriously regretting the lack of a fireplace so he could sit her down in front of a nice, cozy fire and let it warm her up. He left her sitting there, wrapped in the blanket and went to take care of her tea and to put the water for spaghetti to boil.

Minutes later he pressed a hot mug into her hands and she took it with a whispered murmur of thanks.

He only watched her for a few minutes, taking a cautious sip of the beverage, before he spoke up.

"We need to set some ground rules, Loren. Ah! That's not negotiable." he said when she wanted to protest. "It's for your own and for our baby's and even for _my _own good. First off, there will be no more late nights at work, working yourself into exhaustion. Either do what you can during official hours or request a lighter case load. If your workload is too big and you won't request a lighter one, then _I _ will. I'm sure Ellen would back me up if she knew what was going on..." he went silent for a minute, before he looked up and the solemn, haunted look in his aquamarine orbs brought a clog into her throat, stopping what she'd meant to say "I was terrified something had happened to you when you wouldn't pick up the phone, nor return my calls and seeing how dead tired you were when you came home..." he stopped because the anxiety of before was returning and he had to take a couple deep breaths to be able to continue.

"You could've so easily had an accident when driving home this tired. There's no way I'm allowing you to get yourself this drained again. If it even appears it'll happen again, I'll start driving you home myself when it's closing time, even if it means you won't have your car, cause it'll be in JAG's parking lot." Seeing the defiant look on her face he tightened his own in determination. There was no way she would win this one. This was a battle of wills and while Loren was stubborn, she had no chance against Harm. He wasn't about to let her win on this. There was too much at stake.

"Either you cooperate or I'll talk to the Admiral and Ellen and you'll be put on sick leave, perhaps even bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy." he finally delivered the bomb.

Now a fierce glare was added, a glare that would've burnt to crisp any lesser man, but he was one of the strongest men she knew and it didn't even faze him.

"No, Loren, if you can't take care of yourself then I will! You obviously don't understand just how lucky you were tonight. You could've been killed! And where would've I been then?" Realizing he was giving away just how important she had become to him, something he didn't even know himself, much less acknowledged, he quickly added. "Without you two."

That couldn't have been a look of disappointment mixed with hurt that had been quickly concealed, could it have?

He gathered her back into his embrace, with Loren protesting out of anger and spite, but soon giving in. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her shampoo. Into her ear he murmured. "You're no longer a single, independent woman without any responsibility, with no-one depending on you and no-one worrying about you, Loren. Your actions and decisions no longer affect only you. You've got a baby to think of, your every action directly affects her, and it affects me too."

With that she gave in, slumping against him and letting him hold her. She knew he was right, it had been extremely irresponsible and foolish of her to not only go without eating for so long, but to also work late into the night, turning off her phone so nobody could interrupt her and then, while on the verge of a full collapse, drive all the way from Falls Church to Union Station. Harm was right, it was a miracle she hadn't had an accident and killed herself and their baby and even perhaps someone else. It had apparently not completely sunk in yet that she wasn't single anymore, she now had someone waiting for her at home, caring about her, worrying about her, wanting her healthy and alive, and concerned about her when she didn't answer the phone or didn't come home at a reasonable time.

She also knew he was fully capable of making good on his threats and if she was completely truthful with herself, he had every right to, since she had manifested an amazing lack of common sense and concern for herself and the baby. It was his baby too now, not just hers, so he had the rights and obligations to protect it and care for it, no matter how.

It would take a lot of work to adjust her way of thinking and views on her job. For over a decade her career had been her entire life, with nothing to mess with it, nothing to paint her boundaries as to how late into the night she could work, no-one she had to make allowances for and no-one who would hold her back from sinking herself into work and reel her back in if she managed to throw herself into work ignoring everything and everyone else. Now there were two people in her life who demanded she change her life style.

And she would, she knew she would, it'd finally sunk in it wasn't just her anymore, she was a part of a family now, of a unit consisting of several members who are tightly connected and dependent on each other, she was even growing a part of that family in her own body, which was giving her even more responsibility. Her family, her child and her life partner, should take first place in front of her career and everything else, just as she and the baby had taken first place for Harm.

Unfortunately not all women realize or acknowledge that and some pay for it, many times with the lives of their unborn children, who's miscarriages could've been avoided by the mothers setting their priorities straight and adjusting their life-styles according to the fact that they were pregnant and could no longer do some of the things they did before.

Privately, seeing Harm so commanding and fierce gave Loren a little thrill. In her subconscious she had been searching for a strong man, but not a controlling one, a man who would take care of her when she was tired, who would not let her do anything harmful to herself, or plainly stupid, a man who would make her get rid of her self-destructive tendencies, but only because he cared for her.

After the brutality that had always been her life she craved for a strong man to whom she could temporarily give over the control, so she could rest her weary, tired shoulders. Swallowing her pride she acknowledged that with today's stunt she'd proven she wasn't really grown up to the task and responsibilities of impending motherhood. At least, not being a single parent. Which was one of the reasons why she'd taken Harm's offer and they were going to raise the baby together.

She didn't need a keeper, nor a babysitter, she just needed someone to care for her, to remind her when she forgot to take care of herself and consequently of the baby, and reel her in, righting her, when she screwed up; and let her do all these same things in return.

Sharing her mental and emotional burden, together with the responsibility, was a very attractive prospect and one of the reasons for why she was with Harm now.

It wouldn't be that bad to open up, to tear down that wall, and for the first time in years let a man inside. Let _anyone at all _ inside.

And, if past experience had told her anything, letting Harm in could be the most rewarding thing she had ever done.

When Harm was already sure she wasn't going to answer Loren looked up her deep blue eyes enchanting him as she whispered her agreement. "Okay."

Not willing to seem as if he was gloating over her surrender Harm nodded firmly and took her into his arms again.

When she returned his embrace he pressed her into himself tight enough to feel every curve of her body and pressed a light kiss on her hair.

'From now on,' he decided 'things will be great.'

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	67. Chapter 67

I'm noticing that the shorter the chapters are, the more reviews they generate and the longer they are, the less reviews they get. I mean, for 3000 words of "A christmas surprise" I got 3 reviews, while for the first part, 750 words, I got 8 reviews... I have to say, this math is twisted. Anyone getting what I'm getting at?

I've noticed that I've been emasculating Harm in my fics, thus writing him too much out of character, like he was the "90's guy", basically a cry baby with highlights in his air, an ear-ring and a feminine side - the complete opposite of who he is, and thus doing him a huge disfavor, for that I apologize. From now on I'll be careful to write him properly and if anyone notices that I've left that path, please send me an alert and tell me I did it so I can fix it.

So, review.

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When Harm came into the bedroom the next morning, already dressed, he was faced with the sight of Loren twisting and rolling on the bed.

He stopped in his tracks and canted his head, his brow furrowing in confusion before smoothing out in revelation when Loren finally landed on her back and, with her feet wide apart to provide balance, lifted her pelvis and tried to shimmy into her uniform skirt.

When he'd been younger he had spent all the time they had with Diane, lived with her those precious days they'd had together every few months, and had thus been a very amused audience to Diane's rituals before they'd gone out on dates. As much as Harm had liked to watch her do that Diane had hated it, but there was no other way to put on pants (or skirts) that are too small to put on without the assistance of gravity that flattens the stomach.

And while they'd looked _fantastic_ on Diane and Harm had had fun watching her put them on, he had hated them when he'd tried to pull them _off _of her. Pulling wet leather riding boots off is easier.

He shook off the melancholy that always took him over when he thought of the woman he'd loved for 14 years and had been an official couple with for 10 of those years, the woman he had intended to propose to the night her life-thread had been so brutally cut. The pain had lessened over time, he no longer felt as if his heart had been ripped out and just wanted to end his misery as quickly as possible, as he had wanted for the first two years, but she'd always hold a place in his heart and he wouldn't forget. He'd remember her until they day he died.

Banishing away the ghost of the woman he'd loved Harm turned to the one who'd been living with him long enough for him to make a commitment to.

Watching her struggle with her uniform skirt and letting out a victorious grunt he came to a decision. Stepping to her and extending a hand to help her up, ignoring her embarrassed expression at having been seen, he declared.

"This is getting ridiculous, Loren, and it stops now. We're going out to get you maternity summer whites today after work."

He saw the fear in her eyes, the fear of the inevitable, of her coworkers finding out about her condition.

"You won't be able to hide it forever, Loren." he whispered, leaning down to look into her eyes. "It's becoming more visible every single day" he put both his hands on the sides of her growing belly and just held them there. Loren secretly loved it when he put his hands there, it looked like he was craddling their unborn child in them "...it's just a matter of time before others discover it, no matter how much you try to camouflage it."

When she looked away Harm, desperate for her to finally stop running, used a dirty trick, no matter how guilty he felt. But this desperate situation required desperate tactics. "Or is it not that you're worried about? Maybe you're just ashamed of being with me?" Harm dropped his hands and walked out of her personal space, stopping 6 feet away.

Her wide eyes shot back up to him, full of shock and disbelief. Even a little hurt was there, hurt that he was thinking that low of her, that he didn't trust her and her belief in her own decision. Hurt that he doubted her, doubted that she was smart enough to know what was good for her and what she wanted. Doubted that she wanted _this_, what they had together.. "Is that what you think this is about?" she asked when she finally got her mouth to work and not just gape uselessly.

Harm kept his face blank. Most of it was a bluff, but even he couldn't claim that he had not had doubts of this nature bug him for the last several weeks.

If someone insists on keeping their involvement with you a secret from others, sooner or later insecurities will pop up and you will inevitably start questioning yourself whether the reason is you and no matter how much you try to tell yourself it's not, the doubt will always stay, gnawing away at you.

"How can I not?" he shot back bitterly and his hurt eyes caused a shiver to go through her body as she saw the extent of the hurt she'd caused him, the damage she'd dealt to him and _them _and she hated herself for possibly damaging their budding relationship, something that indicated could become something truly wonderful, hated herself for making her own fears make him feel that way, hated herself for making him feel worthless. No, worse than just worthless, an embarrassement. And making the person who means everything to you, the person you... love, and she decided to ignore what that little voice in her head had whispered, to feel that way is the greatest crime you can ever commit. What pained her the most was that it was true and that he had every right to feel that way considering that was how she'd been treating him.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, her voice thick with tears that escaped down her pale cheek when she hung her head in shame.

Before she'd met Harm all those years ago Loren had been ruthless in her determination to dig herself out of the social bottom her parents had sunk her family into, sometimes going over bodies. She had a rule of not apologizing because that would only give too much power to her conscience that was already always too close behind, hounding her for her every action with Loren barely being able to ignore it and justify those actions to herself, and it also just added to the enormous load of guilt she was carrying around, guilt that was slowly tearing her to pieces.

But when she'd met Harm she had slowly started changing into a better person, less ruthless, less unscrupulous, less determined to do anything to achieve her goal. This man had always had more influence on her and her life than anyone was even aware of or even wanted to admit to, from the start on. Not even Harm had known about that and due to him she had healed, matured, evolved and was now capable of apologizing when needed and always tried to avoid hurting people.

"It's okay." he immediately soothed, incapable of seeing her cry "You're..."

"No, it's not okay." she cried out tearfully, interrupting him. "My insecurities hurt you. They hurt _us. _ I can't allow that to go on."

She took a deep, steadying breath, visibly gathering strength. "Okay, we go buy me knew clothes after work. And tomorrow...." she paused, letting out a shuddering breath "... tomorrow we drive to work in one car."

Harm was astounded, speechless at what she'd said and it took him a few seconds to collect himself. Hesitantly he put his hand on her forearm and asked her softly, compassion and understanding clear in his voice. "Are you sure? Cause if you're not then we don't have to."

"I'm sure." she assured him, but the tremble of her voice betrayed her nervousness. Still, Harm immediately recognized she'd set her mind on it and asking her if she was sure would be pointless.

"Okay then." he nodded and left the room to let her finish getting ready.

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	68. Chapter 68

This is the part where they buy clothes, along with making a lot of progress in their relationship. Next part will be longer, cause it will be a different scene taking place the next day.

I don't know if I said it already, but this fic is about the journey and not the arrival. It's more focused on how two people who had never seen each other romantically suddenly decide to make the biggest commitment of them all and raise a family together. No matter how much I try I just don't see them jumping into bed with each other within weeks, cause they never thought of each other in that way before. It's about how they get used to living together, how their romantic feelings are born, and not how they end up. Even after they're married (for real), openly in love and the kid has been born I will still be adding new chapters, telling the story of their life together. This fic will end only after I have nothing more to say. Harm and Loren are already involved, they are practically married, they are committed to each other and they are in love.

I know this has been dragging on for a LOOOONG time, but we had to first get through the first few months that are filled with new adjustments to their new living situation, new feelings emerging, etc. and after they get settled into their relationship things will go fast, we'll be skipping months.

This fic is about family, how a family comes to life.

True, I don't have kids and was never married, but I am a member of a very tight-knit family and the product of an extremely successful marriage and pairing. My parents will celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary next year and what I learned from their example as very compatible partners, how to lead a successful relationship, I'm using to shape Harm and Loren into it.

My goal and intention for H&L is to have them have a successful relationship that would lead into a successful marriage in which more than one child would be born. And that can only happen if the two takes things slow, get used to each other and to this this new relationship, and not immediately jump into bed. No relationship based on sex has ever survived. My goal is to write the evolution of their relationship as realistically as possible. And that unfortunately takes time.

But fear not. After the chapter after the next (when they come to work together and become a public couple) things will progress quicker because with them coming out of the closet the last step of evolution has been made and they've settled into this new relationship, no more adjustment will be needed - a routine has been established.

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And that was that. Later in the day they went to pick up the uniform and after Harm had realized Loren was actually hiding in the dressing cubicle he managed to convince her to come out and model for him. He couldn't exactly say that maternity uniforms were the height of fashion, much less that they complimented a woman, but he could imagine worse things. Though only very few.

When they came home Harm saw Loren was clearly nervous about the next day, the day she'd be wearing her maternity uniform for the first time. Still, he didn't want to cause her anymore anxiety than there already was. Since she couldn't find peace they went to bed early and just when he was about to fall asleep Harm was roused by a soft voice.

"Harm?"

"Hmmm?" Harm turned around sleepily. "What is it, Loren?"

"I've been meaning to ask you something." she started and even in the dark could he see her biting her lower lip. He had to wait a second before she continued "Would you mind if we let everyone believe you were my baby's father? I know I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm also not one to go from one bed to another. I don't sleep around. And that's what everyone will assume if they know you're not the real father. I never cared what people thought about me personally...."

With a gentle smile Harm agreed silently. Loren was the last person to whom the opinion of other people mattered. It was a level of self-confidence and security in oneself that few people possessed and definitely a positive trait, one of many things that attracted him to her. Too many people are insecure enough to need other people's approval.

"...but I don't want that kind of stigma, that kind of a mark, for my child. Society still has many preconceptions and prejudice against illegitimate children and I don't want my baby to suffer in life because it was created by two drunk, irresponsible people in a moment of passion that never should've taken place between _them._ I love my baby and don't regret that she exists, that I'm pregnant, but I do regret the way she was made. She wasn't created with the right man, in the right circumstances, in the right relationship." she paused thoughtfully.

After a moment's silence Harm finally managed to fight down the frog clogging his throat and assured her with a husky voice.

"I'd be honored to, Loren."

Knowing that a simple 'thank you' would never be enough Loren silently stretched up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering there much longer than necessary.

A few minutes later it was Harm who interrupted their attempts at sleep, feeble in the light of the earlier discussion.

"Loren."

"Hm?" she inquired absentmindedly.

"You said earlier that the baby wasn't created with the right man. What did you mean by that?"

Harm was sure just before sleep wasn't the time for such a heavy discussion, but it was something that wouldn't let him rest until he knew for sure.

She was silent for so long he thought she would never answer and was just about to take his question back and apologize when her voice sounded so soft he could barely hear.

"Sergei was a mistake, yet it still happened, but now that I've come to know you and see for myself just what kind of a wonderful father and partner you're going to make, I can't help but wish..."

She trailed off, her courage deserting her and moved away from him. But it didn't matter, her message had still come through loud and clear. It was a prospect he found delightfully appealing.

He had always been aware of the fact that he sucked at talking about feelings and relationship, so he again reached for what had always served him with excellence. Well, with the only exception being Mac.

Extending a hand he slipped his arm under her disappearing waist and gently hauled her against his body, encouraging her to got into her usual sleep position. After a moment's hesitation she did so and soon Loren's head was resting on his chest, her ear pressed over his heart to listen to it's beat, her leg hooked between his own and one hand hooked behind his waist. In case that hadn't gotten his point across he grabbed her hand where she was keeping it at his waist, brought it to his lips for a quick kiss and then put it on his chest, his own still holding it, and went to sleep.

He knew she'd understood his message when he felt her lips curve upward and press briefly against his bare chest.

They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

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AN: heh, when I joined up, our 'trying on' to get the proper sizes looked this way: a large open hall with several stations around it - a different clothing article (pants, jacket, boots) at each station with a Sergeant with a clipboard writing down the size into our files -, we came in still wearing our civilian clothes and for each article we took off our civilian one in front of everyone and tried it on until we found the right size and then moved to the next station. No-one was embarrassed and no-one made a fuss about it. Now that our military is accepting women, I sincerely doubt this process still looks like that, cause I can't imagine any woman dropping her pants or prancing around in her bra and underwear in front of 500 guys.

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	69. Chapter 69

One of these days it'll be exactly... uh... right... I'm not supposed to reveal how old I am. Well, let's just say, it'll be exactly several decades since as a 7-year old I swore a solemn oath, together with every other 7-year old at the time. It was still the time of our dear old SFRJ, the time many a Slovenian (and every former Yugoslav) is now thinking off longingly, since our social security was several times better back then (everyone who wanted a job had it, a job was waiting for you when you finished school, and until you did something really bad or really stupid you didn't lose it), true we didn't have much money, but at least we knew we would still have our jobs the next month. And we had a leader that the entire population adored, with the exception of now that our leaders are creating one scandal after another, are involved in international corruption affairs, disgracing our country, etc.. And we were all brothers back then, worked together and most Serbs could not even imagine the idea of killing Bosnians or Croats and vice versa. It was a great, peaceful time back then. One of few peaceful periods on the Balkans.

Anyway, to get back on track. All first year classes in elementary school had solemn ceremonies where we swore an oath to be good people. We said the oath and each received a blue hat with a red star on it's front side (quite similar in shape to the US Navy overseas hat that Harm occasionally wore with his flight suit), we call it TITOVKA, and a red throat-scarf. When we pledged the oath we've become pioneers, before that were were a 'ciciban' (pronounced: tsee-tsee-bun). Needless to say we were damn proud of those hats and scarfs wore it nearly everywhere, until our parents made us stop wearing them so we wouldn't lose them. My older sister stored hers and mine hats and scarves. We can't find them now...

Here it is, in original, with the english translation following immediately afterwards:

Danes, ko postajam pionir,

dajem častno pionirsko besedo:

Da se bom pridno učil in delal,

spoštoval starše in učitelje,

da bom zvest in iskren tovariš,

ki drži svojo obljubo;

Da se bom ravnal po zgledu najboljših pionirjev,

da bom spoštoval slavna dejanja partizanov

in napredne ljudi sveta,

ki žele svobodo in mir;

Da bom ljubil svojo domovino,

samoupravno Socialistično Federativno Republiko Jugoslavijo,

njene bratske narode in narodnosti,

da bom razvijal bratstvo in enotnost

ter ideje, za katere se je boril Tito;

in gradil novo življenje, polno sreče in radosti.

-

_ENGLISH TRANSLATION: _

Today, as I become a pioneer,

I give my honorable pioneer's word:

To study and work diligently,

to respect my parents and teachers,

to be a loyal and sincere/honest comrade,

who keeps his promises;

To follow the example of the best pioneers,

to respect famous acts of partisans

and progressive people of the world,

who want freedom and peace;

To love my country,

the independent Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia,

her brother nations and nationalities,

to develop brotherhood and unity

and the ideas Tito fought for

and build a new life, full of happiness and joy.

-

This was what a socialist regime (not the same as communist) taught it's people to be like.

Am really interested as to how the western world viewed Yugoslavia from 1960-1991 before it fell apart into war.

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The next day dawned cloudy and humid, the clouds matching Loren's mood perfectly.

Tomorrow was the final date on which they were still allowed to wear dress blues, but Loren had finally decided to stop putting off the inevitable and just do it.

At least it wasn't all bad, waking up in Harm's arms, something they'd both gotten used to by now and always let themselves enjoy, was always a treat and a great mood-uplifter.

They got ready for work to the established routine, but this time Loren surprised Harm.

Harm, still expecting her to drag it out for as long as possible, was astounded when Loren stepped out of the bedroom wearing her new maternity summer whites, terribly self-conscious and constantly smoothing out her skirt and blouse.

Harm let out an impressed whistle, making Loren blush prettily.

Then scowl at him, thinking he was mocking her.

"Wow, you look great." Harm commented, still checking her out.

While the skirt was too long for his taste it did show off some great calves and the distance the blouse hung away from the body revealed the generous size of Loren's slightly growing chest. While he'd never considered himself a man who preferred any body part over another, he saw the woman as a whole and not a collection of parts and thus she had to appeal to him as a whole, but he did have to admit Loren had a pretty good rack on her small frame, if he was allowed to use the infamous sailor crass talk. Even with the growing baby bulge and a rounder face she was still stunning.

Harm suspected the pregnancy had even enhanced her physical beauty, she was literally glowing, her cheeks were healthy and rosy, her lustrious hair was full and thick and had received a bright golden tone, her breasts were fuller and she was generously giving off pheromones that were driving Harm's sex drive through the wall.

He wondered whether the scientists' claims of there being an infinite number of alternate realities was true and if they were together in them as well. Maybe they weren't named the same in those AU's. Maybe they were already married by May 2003 and had a couple of kids of their own... He couldn't help it, but now that he'd finally settled down the only way he could still think of getting involved with a woman, even in AU's, was by seeking out only those who were good longterm-relationship material.

"Right." she snorted "I look like a hippo."

"True..." Harm smirked "...but like a cute baby hippo."

He quickly stepped aside to avoid the punch coming his arm's way, but he'd achieved his goal and most of Loren's apprehension had evaporated.

"Hippoes are deadly dangerous animals." she reminded him with a warning glint in her eyes.

Shrugging good-naturedly he shot back. "But they're still cute." The words hung heavy between them, the meaning clear. Loren blushed, embarrassed and flattered.

Quickly making up his mind he instructed her "I'll be back in a minute, wait for me." and went back into the bedroom.

Curious, Loren followed and was slightly surprised to see him set out his own summer whites and start taking off the dress blues he was wearing. Even though he'd been exasperated over Loren's stalling regarding the transition to the summer whites and the fact that the public didn't know they were a couple, he hadn't wanted them to be wearing different style uniforms, he'd wanted them to match. Silly, he knew, but for some reason it was important to him that they both wore the same style. After taking his jacket off he transferred the fruit salad, his gold wings and all the badges with practiced fingers, working expediently.

Once done he pulled his shirt off and took off his black leather shoes and as he was about to pull off his uniform pants he noticed Loren standing in the doorway, with a strange look in her eyes. Almost as if she was enjoying the view...

"Didn't I tell you to wait for me?" his sharp words were belied by the smile he sent her.

"You did, but I didn't want to miss the show." she replied and sent an appreciative stare at his butt.

Harm chuckled and went back to dressing, not in the least self-conscious. He knew he looked good, he put enough effort into shaping his body, and didn't mind his attractive roommate oggling him. If he was honest with himself he would have to admit he was actually puffing up a bit, making his muscles bunch and pulling in his washboard abs. Catching Loren's appreciative mutter "Yummy." definitely didn't hurt his ego. It was interesting, the woman he'd been in love with for so long had been a killer to his ego and self-esteem, sometimes destroying it deliberately, while the woman he'd never considered for a romantic partner until just recently, had been better for his ego in just a few short weeks than almost anyone he'd ever known.

However when she let out a wolf whistle and he looked back only to see her grinning broadly, he tried glaring at her, but failed. It was just too nice to see her in a happy mood to try to ruin it.

Loren watched enviously as it took Harm less than two minutes to get fully changed and completely presentable. It was something she'd always envied men, the ability to look good without much effort. Just a shower, a shave, a brushing of teeth and putting on clean clothes. She thought back to all the times she'd seen him in mess dress or dress whites, looking so delicious her hormones had nearly overwhelmed her iron control of them, even years before she'd gotten pregnant, and she knew it had taken him 5 minutes tops to make himself look like that, while it had taken her several hours to make herself look that good.

' A woman making herself look good,' she mused ' is sometimes like launching a new ship.'

Her musings were interrupted when Harm was suddenly standing next to her, fully dressed and ready to leave.

Once again looking her up and down with approval he observed. "You know, even though white wasn't the best decision the Navy ever made, I must say we look damn good."

She tried to objectively consider them both and had to agree, they truly did look stunning (if she ignored the feeling of looking like she'd swallowed a beach ball and feeling frumpy next to her tall, muscular and devilishly handsome guy - even though she in reality didn't look frumpy, neither did Harm think she looked frumpy). They were both in clean, crisp white uniforms, so white it hurt the eyes, with colorful ribbons on their chests and golden buttons on their shirts, and the entire effect was so pleasing it almost took her breath away.

"Oh yeah." she muttered, then shook her head and moved to leave the apartment.

Walking in front of him she waited for him to lock the doors, then boarded the old freight elevator.

When they stepped into the street Loren surprised him again, this time much more by disregarding her own car and making her way determinedly towards the passenger side of the Lexus, waiting patiently for him to unlock it.

Harm just quirked his eyebrow, but decided against commenting. He'd thought she would just let everyone know she was pregnant, but Loren had obviously decided to go the whole nine yards and come out of the closet regarding their new relationship as well. When she decided on something she went through with it, come hell or high water and since she'd obviously decided to let the world in on her growing secret and the fact that they were together, she was proceeding in her usual direct, straightfoward manner. Harm, deliriously glad the hiding had stopped, followed her lead.

The drive to work was silent, each preoccupied with their own thoughts, only with Eric Clapton for company to their thoughts.

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	70. Chapter 70

Sorry for the long wait, but I'm sure with all of us being busy with holidays you had other things to do. Just like I had.

And now we've finally come to the part you've all been waiting for, the coming out of the closet. I hope I justified your belief in me and that this part is good enough.

As always, loving your reviews!

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The open-mouthed incredulous stare on the Marine guard's face, standing at the entrance check-point, had no way of evading their sharp stares. The 18-year-old child carrying a deadly weapon was baffled to see the so-well-liked Commander coming to work with the not-so-well-liked Lieutenant in the same car, after having spent the night together. There were even more incriminating facts, the biggest of them being the LT's obvious pregnancy, which indicated more than just a night of passion. The maternity uniform was like a beacon and the young man couldn't stop his eyes from darting from the growing belly he saw under the cloth to the CDR and back again. He just couldn't comprehend the CDR being in a relationship, a serious relationship at that, with the LT.

The glare Harm was giving him sobered him up pretty quickly, though, and from that second he hurried to complete all the necessary checks just to get away from that glare.

The astounded looks followed them as they got out of the car, on their way to the building, at the check-in, the elevator and in corridors.

Harm supposed it couldn't have been any other way. Loren was namely wearing a maternity uniform and since no-one had known before that she was even pregnant the effect was bigger than it would've been had they known. There was also the little matter of them coming to work together, walking together, Harm a step behind instead of 2 steps in front of Loren as a higher ranking officer should've been - mostly when men walk behind women they are in some kind of a personal relationship with them, either platonic or romantic. Harm also supposed the one time he had caught Loren's hand to give it a supporting squeeze and received a finger-numbing one of terror in return and they'd been seen hadn't helped matters either.

People just did the math:

Pregnant Loren

PLUS Harm coming to work with her

EQUALS they are in a relationship and expecting their first baby

The weird thing about it all was that the baby was actually saving their reputations. Had there been no baby everyone would've just assumed a fling, but since they all knew CDR Rabb, while being a little less sure about LT Singer, they also knew that if a baby had been created then this must be IT for the man, a relationship, not a fling, and a full-fledged committed exclusive longterm one at that. Unknown to Harm and Loren many a broken heart was left in their wake as they made their way to their bullpen.

Ever the gentleman Harm opened the door for Loren and let her go in before him. She acknowledged the gesture with a small 'thank you' accompanied by a tense smile and stepped inside, bracing herself for the reaction.

Nobody acknowledged her entrance in any way, which she was used to, but that changed when Harm stepped into the room immediately after Loren, walking closely behind her. Had he come in alone his welcome wouldn't have been any different from Loren's, but he wasn't alone. He and Loren were obviously coming to work together, as a package, and that was that turned people's heads.

The entire staff froze in their work and watched with gaping mouths Harm and Loren take leave of each other. The bullpen was so silent one could hear a pin drop, not even the telephones were ringing.

Standing well within the other's personal space and even leaning into each other to attain a semblance of privacy, Loren put a gentle hand on Harm's forearm and looked up into his eyes "See you at the staff call."

Harm nodded and murmured back a reply, and Loren entered her office, while Harm aimed his steps at his own. There was a discontented murmur coming from those overly-optimistic souls who'd expected some kind of PDA, preferrably a lip-lock, even though doing so in uniforms at the HQ would've been very foolish. But still, with their work being so boring, who could begrudge them a little entertainment?

Well, at least there was that betting pool...

Petty Officer Richards was already pulling out his little book and tryin to think of specific bets, as others flocked to him.

Harm hadn't been in his own office 10 minutes before he was interrupted by knocking. Looking up he saw Bud waiting nervously at the door and bid him to enter and take a seat.

After 5 minutes of listening to Bud ramble about inconsequential things he finally had enough. "Okay, Bud, this is not why you're here" he didn't even wait for the speechless younger man to regain composure "You're here to get information on Loren and I for the report to your Commander-In-Chief." The fact that there actually was a 'Loren and Harm' sent Bud back into silence. "You can go tell Harriet, who sent you, that yes, Loren and I are in a relationship and are having a baby. Harriet doesn't need any more details and tell her not to bother Loren digging for more." Bud stood up stuttering and tried to leave the office. When he was almost out Harm called after him."Oh and, Bud? The next time she wants something have her ask herself, not be sending you. Grow a pair of balls one of these days, man."

Now heavily blushing in embarrassement Bud backed out of the office, turned around and promptly tripped over his own feet, flattening against the floor in sight of the entire staff. Harm just shook his head and mused that even with marriage and three pregnancies under his belt Bud hadn't changed much. Through the open door Harm could see Harriet interrogating her husband even while he was still on the floor, not even offering to help him to his feet first. Her priorities were different than Bud's...

Several minutes later he received another visit and this time he was thankful it was someone who already knew of the situation. "So, you two have finally come out, huh?" asked Sturgis from his comfortable slouch in the hard wooden chair.

"Yep." Harm answered.

" ' Bout time. Took you long enough." at that Harm shrugged in agreement "From her reaction I'm guessing Mac already knows?"

Harm glanced through the blinds separating his office from Mac's and noticed she was glaring at her computer, striking the keys fiercely. He couldn't blame her, he'd done the same the first day she'd come to work wearing Bugme's ring. Only time would be able to make her come to terms with what was most definitely a permanent arrangement, even if she was perhaps still hoping it wouldn't, as his past relationships, work out.

As much as what-ifs and hurting Mac hurt Harm, he knew someone would've had to eventually break them out of their destructive dance that would've under no circumstances lead to anything positive, much less born a successful relationship between them, and the one who'd do it would be better off. Selfishly he was glad to be the one to have done it, because he didn't want to pine and bemoan what-could've-beens.

"Yeah, she knows. Ambushed me at home one night, barged into the apartment and was promptly met with the sight of Loren coming out of the bathroom wearing just a towel."

"Ouch." winced Turner sympathetically.

Harm nodded in agreement. That wasn't the way he'd wanted Mac to find out about the fact that he'd bailed out of their mutually-destructive limbo and found someone else, someone to spend the rest of his life with. "Yeah, ouch. It wasn't pretty, but I talked to her the next day and even though she's still not fully okay with the situation at least this time she won't turn to vengeance."

"That's good." the submariner nodded "And how's married life treating you?" he then asked with a cheeky grin.

Harm's head shot up, but when he noticed his friend joking he just rolled his eyes and answered. "It's great. I must say I've never imagined it could be this nice with Loren. Should've done it a long time ago."

"You're serious!?" Sturgis' eyes bulged out in shock.

"Definitely." Harm nodded "I can honestly say that this is one of the best things to have ever happened to me. Had I known three and a half years ago what I know now I would've asked Loren out on a date immediately after she got transferred here."

Sturgis was just shaking his head in disbelief over his friend and wanted to comment, but was prevented by his wrist-watch beeping. "I'd love to chat some more, but we've got the staff meeting in 2 minutes."

Harm nodded, started shutting down the computer and secured the office, fully aware of the staff's eyes borring into his back. At the staff meeting Chegwidden looked mildly surprised upon seeing Loren in a maternity uniform, as if he'd forgotten she was even pregnant, and that she and Harm were sitting together, but said nothing.

The rest of the day went well, even though both officers were well aware their every action, gesture and look was being constantly observed and analyzed by their observers and that there were numerous theories flying around the office, but didn't really care.

This was just the risk of working there.

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	71. Chapter 71

Okay, I'm once again posting on Friday, which is not my modus operandi. If you want to get updates from me three times a week, then just leave reviews, they will give me the motivation to keep up such a fast pace.

Btw., I'd really love to read what you think about this chapter, in it Mac becomes a better person, there's a warming-up in the Mac-Harm-Loren triangle and Loren's cravings make a first appearance.

So, leave a review.

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It'd been two weeks since their coming out of the closet, yet they were still targets of an occasional odd and baffled look. Harm knew their news was something no-one had even dreamed of, so he gave them a little slack and ignored the gawkers.

Each person had accepted the news differently: to some it didn't matter and they paid no increased attention to them. Those were the ones Harm was happy about, cause they didn't make him feel like a circus attraction. Then there were others who stared, be it overtly or covertly, and who thought it somehow affected them. Those Harm wasn't happy about. And then there were his friends.

Bud and Harriet had been surprised, more like blind-sided, and Harm had clearly seen Harriet looking confusedly and disappointedly between him and Loren. It had always been clear to Harm that Harriet wanted him and Mac together, so the poor woman must've been disappointed severely and was definitely reeling from the turn of events. Bud had taken the news in stride, but had obviously been caught unprepared as well.

They had expressed their dissatisfaction and hurt over not having been told sooner. The thing was, however, that they hadn't been told the whole truth about the matter at hand. They had the same information as Mac, Sturgis and others, except for Chegwidden: they were told Harm and Loren had fallen in love, become a couple and were expecting their first child. Harm hated lying to his friends, but it was better this way. Better for Loren and the baby. Had Harriet and Bud found out the truth, there was no doubt the rest of the office would've known in a matter of days. As much as he loved his friends, it was no secret Harriet was the worst gossip in the building.

Mac, Sturgis and the Admiral had all known, so it was no surprise to them.

The rest of the staff was a little more belligerent. After the whispers and the looks followed them everywhere they went Harm quickly got sick of it and just 4 days after their coming out of the closet he'd decided to do something about it.

_FLASHBACK_

_"Attention on deck!" Harm yelled, causing everyone in the bullpen to jump to comply._

_"At ease." they relaxed and a few others used the chance to slip into the bullpen to hear what this was about. It was a very rare opportunity for the friendly Commander to pull rank and berate everyone._

_"Because the speculations and pre-occupation with this matter has been interfering with the good working order and discipline of this office, I'm making a public announcement to banish all uncertainties and speculations, and after that I expect you to dedicate yourself back to your jobs and stop what you've been doing until now."_

_He knew he had their attention, even though he was being vague._

_"It hasn't escaped your attention that for the past few days LT Singer and I have been coming to work in the same car and it has sent your imaginations into orbit, letting your work suffer. This is not the school playground, people, these are the Navy JAG's Headquarters and only the highest performance is expected of us. To answer all your questions, yes, LT Singer and I are in a relationship, live together, and, yes, we are also expecting a baby together."_

_This caused a great hubbub and people rushed forth to congratulate him and Loren, who had come out of her office curious to see why Harm had called everyone to attention only to be almost trampled by the well-wishers._

_After a minute of congratulations, pats on the back for Harm, cooing over her belly for Loren and expressions of envy to both, Harm finally had enough._

_"Okay, people, thank you, but now go back to work and let only that be on your mind."_

_As Harm lead her back into her office, Loren didn't know whether to be angry at him for doing this without talking to her, or grateful he had done something about it, as it had been bothering her greatly. In the end she settled for a kiss on the cheek and a mild punch at his arm._

_END FLASHBACK_

Harm's way of doing things had worked and life went back to normal, with the bullpen crew leaving them alone. The only ones still oggling them and whispering about them were the staff of other departments, ones Harm couldn't do anything about. The only one buzzing around like a demented bee was Harriet who was through the roof with happiness over someone else being in the family way as well and, no matter how much Harm liked Harriet, she was beginning to wear on his nerves. And with how Harriet was fussing over Loren, having declared her her best female friend, obviously ecstatic over the sharp LT's imminent mellowing due to motherhood (the unrealism of this theory had Harm suppressing laughter) and Harm finally settling down and founding a family, Harm was counting down the days before Loren's fragile self-control snapped and she socked the other blonde.

Over the past few weeks Harm had also noticed a slow, but steady, build up of warmth in the triangle he/Loren/Mac. Mac was quite obviously trying to find a way to fix their broken friendship and Harm was coming her way at her speed. At his nudge (okay, nagging) Loren had given Mac a chance too.

And speaking of the devil... here she was coming with a tray, right towards his and Loren's little table beneath the lovely tree in the yard.

"Is this seat taken?" Mac smiled, tightly, but she was trying, Harm had to give her that.

Harm looked at Loren, who was looking undecided. Knowing that if they'd reject this olive branch it would be a major setback, he shook his head. "No, it's not, take a seat, Mac."

She smiled again, less forced this time and daintily sat down.

Taking the time to unpack her lunch Mac looked between them. "So, how are you dealing with coming out into the open?"

Since Loren was busy doing something with her pie Harm answered, sending a weird look at his room-mate's actions. "We're still getting used to it."

"People still staring?" Mac inquired sympathetically. She'd been a target of such rude behaviour many times in her life, so she had experience on how that felt.

"Staring, gawking, stalking, bothering, murmuring, gossiping, bothering,..." Loren counted off grumpily, yet making it clear her attitude was because of the way people behaved and not because of Mac. Harm secretly appreciated she was trying to be civil.

"It's like..." Harm started, but was distracted when Loren suddenly started scraping the coverings off her pie, replacing it with ketchup. Then he shook his head to get back on track. "They're behaving as if no-one at JAG had ever gotten pregnant before. I don't think they were like this when Bud and Harriet got pregnant the first time." he concluded, keeping Loren in his peripheral vision.

Mac asked Harm something else and he answered, while Loren obliviously continued doing what she'd been doing. After finally having removed all of the toppings, she added the ketchupand the mayonnaise and mixed it up with a fork. Just in time for Harm to look back at her.

Next, Loren pulled out a small container and Harm's eyes widened when he recognized the contents. His hand shot out and grasped the plastic before Loren could open it and he pulled it back to him. Loren scowled. "Hey! That's mine. Give it back!"

"No." Harm replied camly and pocketed the object of contention.

"Haaaaaaaarm!" she whined.

"Loren, I'm doing this for your own good. You'll be thankful to me after you give birth."

"But it's healthy, it's got milk in it."

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Loren, you're neither stupid nor naive. If this thing has any milk in it at all, it's good effects are overshadowed by the huge amounts of sugar and unhealthy chemicals, not to mention the fat and calories."

She glared at him wordlessly. "Loren. I'm just looking out for you. If you start to eat this crap, you'll put on much more weight than you would otherwise. And imagine how you'd feel if you had to lose 40 pounds of additional fat after you give birth..." his voice was soothing and Mac could see the effect it had on Loren. While talking to a woman about her weight is never a good idea, more like a death wish, especially if the woman is pregnant, this time Harm felt he had to take the risk.

The smaller woman's shoulders slumped in defeat. Harm exhaled in relief at her giving in and resolved to from now on monitor Loren's intake of Nutella and all sweets. They hadn't been together that long, but he already knew Loren was almost arrogantly proud of her unpregnant or early-pregnancy figure and would've been impossible to live with had she gotten fat during the pregnancy, and not the pregnancy-fat type, and then would have to work it all back off.

But his real reason for taking the sweet confection from her was that he was sure he would've thrown up had she added Nutella to ketchup. So it had been a mostly selfish gesture, yet still mixed with consideration for her. After all it would've been pretty damn embarrassing if the strong Commander, who had to be the role model for junior officers and enlisted, the man who never once puked on a ship or in a plane, no matter how bad the weather, would start upchucking just because of the food his pregnant girlfriend had mixed together... It would definitely hurt his reputation.

Still feeling breakfast coming up at the sight of her lunch he quickly averted his eyes, concentrating on his food and trying to find a topic to restart conversation.

He needn't have worried, for Mac was doing her own staring at Loren. Head cocked, a frown on her face and a wrinkled nose spoke of her starting to feel slight revulsion at Loren's choices.

Because he was looking down Harm failed to see the small hand before it was much too late. It suddenly appeared in his line of vision, grabbed his plate and disappeared with the tuna.

The protest died on his lips when he saw Loren adding tuna into the ketchup on the former pie and then stirring the mixture, so the tuna was evenly distributed.

In morbid fascination Harm was incapable of tearing his eyes away.

He'd seen a lot of stomach-turning stuff before, a lot of gore and blood, but since the first time he'd seen such a sight nothing had made him want to vomit as much as what Loren was intending to eat.

But then came the worst part: Loren decided the concoction was missing something and with a thoughtful look on her face added some of the pie's former, very sweet, covering.

Putting the stuff on top she finally noticed the horrified looks of Harm and Mac. Not knowing what she'd done to earn such glances she frowned. "What?"

Harm looked away, while Mac busied herself eating her own food. Loren shrugged and went back to building her.... something.

Harm decided there and then he would be doing all the cooking during her pregnancy from now on.

Finally satisfied she grabbed the concoction and brought it to her lips, biting off a healthy piece. "Perfect." she sighed, smiling blissfully, completely oblivious to Harm's uncomfortable and Mac's green faces.

An aghast Harm suddenly felt bile rise in his throat at what Loren was eating. "Just what the hell are you feeding our child?" he demanded.

Loren ignored him and was about to take another bite when Mac excused herself, running full pelt for the toilet to lose her breakfast.

Ignoring her superior officer's undignified exit the young blonde Lieutenant wolfed down the rest of the strange mixture, while a dumbfounded Harm just stared, having lost his apetite.

Meanwhile a female Ensign, the one Mac had almost mowed down in her haste to get to the porcelain bowl, was listening to the sound of LtCol MacKenzie's retching and whistled to herself. "Guess she's pregnant too. Happiness really _is _moving around..."

Quickly washing her hands she left the bathroom, eager to spread the latest piece of gossip. 'Wonder who the father is...'

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	72. Chapter 72

Okay, no more icky parts, smooth sailing from now on.

Thanks for the reviews and sorry for grossing you out with Loren's food choices. This part is for fun so no offense meant.

Sometimes living with a pregnant woman is like living with an unstable patient... you never know when she'll flip. Already not pregnant women are a risk, considering they have a different perception on things than men do, but when you add in those lovely hormones... Compared to a pregnancy, PMS is just small cakes.

Not having lived with a woman before and since during the times his girlfriends had had PMS he had done what any other sensible man does - avoid the rampaging rhino or at least lay low and try to upset the sleeping bear as little as possible, Harm really had no idea just how precarious the peace in the household truly was.

He was too content enjoying his new domestic and familial situation to really consider the fact that the peace and quiet had been lasting a long time, too long, and that in a normal relationship he and Loren would've already had a fight about something. They'd been living together for over a month and a half and were getting along great. Too great, if we are being realistic, but Harm was enjoying the gig too much to want to dwelve on negative thoughts.

That's why he was so taken by surprise one morning when Loren emerged fuming out of the bathroom, just spoiling for a fight.

Cautiously he recced "What's wrong?"

Whirling on him she growled "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you!"

Even though he was stunned speechless by Loren displaying stereotypical female histrionics Harm's survival instincts kicked in and he acted as if he hadn't noticed anything wrong.

They drove to work with Loren yelling insults at other drivers and snapping at him for not driving faster.

Loren's waspish behaviour continued at work as well and soon people were hiding from her. It didn't surprise him even a little when he was called into Chegwidden's office at around 1400 local time.

"What the hell did you do for LT Singer to be snapping at everyone, Commander!" the Admiral attacked immediately after Harm had entered the office.

"Um, sir?" Harm tried to buy time.

"Don't you dare say you haven't noticed the LT biting the head off of everyone that comes her way today. I will not tolerate this. In this office only I have the right to yell and terrorize people! Well, the LtCol doesn't have the right but still does it and we don't need two Macs."

"I _have _ noticed it, sir." admitted Harm "I don't know the cause for her mood, but when she woke up she was in a good mood and even pleasant, but then the next second she was like she is now. When I asked her what was wrong she just yelled at me."

"I honestly don't give a shit if you don't know why she's like that, just fix it, Commander, because she's even worse than LtCol Mackenzie! No matter how impossible that sounds. Junior staff is literally hiding from her! I even found Major Roxton hiding in the men's room, near tears!"

Okay, then this was much worse than Harm had thought. Harm knew Major Roxton, a Royal Corps of Signals  
exchange officer, on loan from the British Army to the cryptography department at HQ, and if the sharp-tongued, fiery, black-haired, large-eyed beauty was near tears he couldn't even imagine what Loren had said to her. It must've been bad, really bad. Still, wouldn't hurt to suggest to Marguerite's husband Lieutenant Colonel John Roxton, British Army Colonel of the Intelligence Corps, a liaison officer at Pentagon, to buy home pregnancy tests for her, cause otherwise he couldn't imagine Loren reducing Marguerite to hiding and crying, the woman wasn't that sensitive.

For a moment Harm was once again filled with awe at the other man's strength at being capable of handling such a head-strong, stubborn, mullish, moody and fierce woman, but then he remembered that he was involved with basically the same type of woman... Loren and Marguerite were damn equal in their strength, intelligence, bull-headedness and sharpness of their tongues.

True, he and Loren didn't wear rings nor had they signed a paper at a ceremony, but marriage is more than just a paper and a couple of rings, it's the determination to spend the rest of your life with one person, be devoted to them and raise a family with them.

Half an hour later, after having listened to the Admiral yell at him for five minutes and having had a talk with Roxton over the phone (the other man had naturally been stumped over his wife's new-found sensitivity, and had graciously accepted Harm's apology for Loren's behaviour and took surprisingly well the possibility of Marguerite being pregnant) Harm was sitting in his office, trying to figure out how to fix the whole situation.

He was getting nowhere fast, since he didn't know what the hell was wrong with Loren, when there was a knock on the door. He bid the person to enter and was surprised to see Bud, who had been rather scarce since the revelation of Harm's relationship with Loren.

After they exchanged pleasantries Bud got to the point (though, not without Harm's direct prodding).

"I heard you were called into the Admiral's office regarding the LT."

Harm just _knew _who'd blabbed... a certain bumbling male Petty Officer, who was in cahoots with Bud's wife, the worst gossip in the building (right next to the Marines, of course).

"Yeah." then deciding that as the experienced married man Bud could give him some advice, Harm shared more "I'm supposed to fix whatever's wrong with Loren."

Bud was quiet for a second then spoke up hesitantly. "If I may allow myself to give you an advice on women, sir."

Harm hid a satisfied smile, his schemings had worked. But there was no way he wouldn't play with the younger man for the way he'd phrased the sentence... Harm needing advice on women? Bah, humbug!

He raised an eyebrow. "Advice on women, Bud? Do I look like a bumbling virgin who doesn't know what to do with a woman? How else do you think Loren got herself into her condition? Or do you think some other man did it..."

He grinned evilly as Bud's eyes bulged and started shooting around in anxiety. "Ah... sir... I didn't mean... What I'm trying to say... Erm..."

Harm frowned darkly, then finally said quite reluctantly. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that, LT... This once."

"Thank you, sir!" The relief on poor Bud's face was comical and Harm had to put a lot of effort to stop himself from laughing. He knew it was cruel to play with Bud like that, but it sure was fun.

"So, what did you mean?" crossing his arms over his broad chest Harm leaned back in his chair.

"I just wanted to give you an advice on how to handle women once you married them." he blushed again. "I mean, not that you're married, sir, but your situation is quite similar."

"I'm listening, Bud, what do I do to fix whatever's wrong?"

Bud's face became serious and his eyes glowed in intensity. "Apologize, sir."

Harm frowned and rose both his eyebrows disbelievingly. "Apologize?"

"Yes, sir, apologize." the LT nodded vigorously "It's in your best interest, cause then you can move back into the bedroom and are getting laid again. Even if you didn't do anything or don't know you did anything you should still apologize. Trust me, sir, an apology can go a long way in smoothing things up. To us, men, because of the difference in the way we're wired women are many times irrational and overly-emotional, but even more so when they're pregnant."

"I'm listening." Harm urged Bud to continue. Sometimes the younger man had quite insightful observations and it paid off to listen to him.

"Just follow the FCJ rule: flowers, candy, jewelry. Depending on how upset she is and what you did, adjust apology accordingly, but start small so you don't raise the bar too high too soon. The thing about women is, when she's got you chained she's gonna fight differently than when you were just dating. Once she's got you tied to her, either you're married or having a child together, she'll fight more fiercely, harder, will stay mad longer and use those strange mind games all women seem to learn the minute they have you in their grasp."

"Why?"

"Because you're stuck and she knows it. Before, while you were still just dating, she didn't fight with everything she had because she knew that if you got too mad or too hurt you could always break up with her and she'd lose you, but after you're married you're stuck because the only way you can get free is with long, expensive legal procedures. While you and the LT are not married, I believe she knows you will never break up now that she's expecting your child, so to her it's as if you're married."

Harm nodded, there was a lot of weight to Bud's words and it was definitely something worth a pondering.

"I bet you don't know half the things you've apologized to Harriet for, Bud." Harm grinned wickedly and Bud blushed, shuffling his feet.

"Ummm." the younger man drawled, tugging at the collar of his uniform. Harm then took pity on him.

"Thanks, Bud, for your advice. If I ever get into a tight spot again I'll definitely look you up."

Bud literally glowed with the praise. "No problem, sir, was glad to help!"

With that he departed, leaving Harm to think. Now that he had a rough idea of what to do, a plan formed quickly.

When he and Loren were in the car on the drive home, Loren still fuming, Harm made a course correction. Loren, lost in her world, didn't notice anything amiss until Harm stopped and turned off the engine. "Come on." he said turning to her. She of course didn't follow his direction. Perhaps he should include the 'obey' part into her marriage wovs when they finally got married. But something told him she'd not only not obey, but also make him pay for that.

In the end he had to resort to grabbing her by her hand and dragging her after him.

Bewildered she followed him deeper into the park to a clearing where he spread out the blanket he'd taken with him.

Sitting on it he motioned for Loren to join him and, afer sending him a distrustful look and prompting him to invite her again, slowly got down on the blanket. She stiffened when Harm guided her so she was laying on the ground, with her head in his lap and his fingers running through her long tresses. They were quiet for a while and from the gentle caresses Loren soon fell into a light doze.

Seeing she was softened up Harm knew that the time had come and he tried to be as sincere as possible in his apology. "I'm sorry for what I did."

There was a long silence before Loren's electric blue eyes locked with his. "You don't have a clue why I was mad, do you?" she asked surely, already knowing the answer. Harm was gratified she was talking in past tense, it meant the storm had blown over.

"No." he shook his head and received a rolling of baby blues in return.

"You forgot to put the toilet seat back down."

Harm was stunned silent. Forgot to put the toilet seat back down? THAT's why she'd been so unbearable? For such a stupid little thing? He definitely agreed with Bud now that pregnant women were quite irrational.

"I'll try to remember next time." was the only thing he could offer.

She said nothing, but relaxed back and let his hands run soothingly through her hair. Soon she fell asleep in the warm late spring sun, leaving Harm to ponder the strange turn his life had taken.

It was an anti-climatic ending to a tense day, but Harm was glad for it.

They'd survived their first fight and Harm was feeling quite optimistic over their future together.

Maybe this relationship wasn't such a bad idea after all.

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	73. Chapter 73

I'll be introducing a couple of new characters with this and next chapter, returnees who will soon be returning into Harm's life for a longer period.

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The big man rapped on the door impatiently and waited, flinging his large heavy sack over his broad shoulders as if it weighed nothing.

The door opened, but to his immense surprise the person standing there was nothing like the one he'd expected.

"Um, hello, ma'am." looking around and at the apartment number again, his frown deepened "Do you perhaps know where the previous owner of this apartment moved to?"

The blonde shook her head, looking at him suspiciously "Sorry, moved in a couple of months ago, don't know anything about the previous owner."

The strong man's face fell "Oh. Okay, thanks anyway. Good day." turning around he mused "I'll just have to drop by JAG to see where Hammer moved to."

He was about to enter the stairwell when the old elevator rumbled to a stop and another tall man exited, who upon seeing the figure, called out

"Keeter!"

Keeter whirled around at the sound of his friend's voice "Hammer!"

The two men embraced manly, thumping each other on the back with a force that would make any lesser human whimper.

Letting each other go Harm started towards the apartment, Keeter following.

"What are you doing here, man?"

"Took leave of the Agency and am now waiting for my detailer to find me a billet, so I thought I'd look you up."

"What happened?"

Keeter grimaced "Let's just say that I thought it was about time, things were getting just too dangerous and Webb has been screwing up more and more. One of these days I wouldn't be returning from another of his FUBAR-ed ops, so I decided it was finally time I bail out and perhaps see if there's more to life than just the adrenalin of almost getting your ass shot off."

When Harm slid the key into the lock Keeter questioned him "But didn't you move elsewhere?"

"No." Harm frowned at his friend "Why?"

The door clicked open and Harm stepped inside, his friend trailing behind "Loren!"

Loren turned the corner from the bedroom and, smiling, came to greet Harm home. Raising on her tip-toes she gave him a kiss on the cheek "Welcome home, did you have a good day interviewing the witnesses?"

"No, none of them wanted to cooperate." noticing his friend's uncharacteristic silence he turned to Jack, who was looking between Harm and Loren, looking decidedly bewildered and lost.

"But... but..." Jack pointed between the couple.

"Oh." Harm realized Keeter's confusion "This is Loren Singer." there really wasn't anything more he needed to add, since Loren's status in his life was quite apparent with the fact that she lived with him "She's a lawyer at HQ. Loren, this is Jack Keeter, my roommate and classmate at both the Academy and flight school."

Jack nodded and offered his hand "Ma'am" unsure of her rank he fell back on the honorific.

"Commander." with him being Harm's age the rank was pretty much apparent.

"Ah, Ah, Ah!" Harm intercepted "There will be no ranks in this apartment. We're all friends here, so just use your names."

Loren smiled politely and Harm inwardly thrilled that she was making the effort of being nice to his friends. The Loren of a year ago wouldn't have done that.

Feeling movement inside, Loren reflexively rubbed her hand over her tummy, trying to soothe the baby inside.

Keeter's eyes caught the inconspicuous movement and he glanced down. His eyes widened in surprise and his wide gaze shot to Harm, then to Loren and back down to her belly.

"Wha...." he knew he looked like a fish on dry land, but couldn't help himself. His brain had correctly processed the information, but it just wouldn't sink in.

He looked at Harm with eyes imploring his friend to tell him he wasn't dreaming.

Harm smiled sheepishly "It's true."

Collapsing into the nearest chair his friend muttered "I need a drink. And a strong one."

Loren rolled her eyes at the man's theatrics and turned back to her man "Harriet and I are meeting in the mall." sighing exasperatedly she continued "Apparently she saw some baby stuff that I _absolutely must see"_ The mocking tone to her voice indicated she was quoting Harriet. It also revealed her feelings on this whole thing. Still, at least she was making the effort of making friends with the other blonde.... "Will be back home in a couple of hours."

Looking at a dazed Keeter she commented dryly "Have fun."

Harm grinned back "We will." escorting her to the door he helped her into her coat, pulling her hair out of the collar and then turned her around, kissing her cheek "Drive carefully, hon." The petname slipped out unnoticed by either of them.

"I will." she looked up at him earnestly "Don't worry."

"Keeter and I will probably go out for a couple of hours, so don't be concerned if I'm not here when you get back." again, neither noticed they were behaving like a married couple, two people together because they'd fallen in love, discussing their plans with each other and almost seeking permission from the other to follow through on those plans.

"Okay." Loren whispered and, taking his hand, squeezed it gently.

Keeter came back into the living world at just the right time to call out with a weak tone "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Loren remarked and left the apartment after exchanging last goodbyes with Harm, shaking her head. The weird friends Harm kept...

Harm locked the door and crossed over to the large bay window. He kept watch until he saw Loren get into her car safely and drive off.

Going to the refrigerator he pulled out two bottles of beer and returned to Keeter, handing him one. Keeter immediately pulled a long slug of the alcohol, to centre himself and then looked at his oldest friend.

"So... you... she..."

Unable to help himself, Harm chuckled "Yes, Keeter, Loren and I are expecting a baby, I'll be a father in a couple of months."

"Wow." muttered the pilot. "Just tell me one thing. Are you happy?"

Harm looked him seriously in the eyes "As much as I was when I got my wings."

Which was the highest level of happiness a pilot can ever achieve.

"Then I'm happy for you." decided Keeter and put his beer down "Come on, I'm taking you out, otherwise the next thing I know you'll be driving around in a mini-van and singing songs from cartoons."

Laughing, Harm complied.

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	74. Chapter 74

And here is the second character. I wanted to write this second pairing for a long time, ever since I read Sandra's fantastic "Die Granny Serie", which even though it's unfortunately a primarily HM fic, included this pairing that I immediately fell in love with. I know I'll never be able to do it justice, especially not in the way Sandra did, but then again, Sandra wrote 10 parts of this series, with each part of at least 100,000 words and had plenty of time and opportunity to build these characters up to perfection.

If you want to read Sandra's series you can find it here (without the empty spaces):

http://www. geocities. com/jag_europe/fiction/sandra/index. htm

Just observe the fact that it's in German, not English. Also, the part with this new pairing really starts only with part 7.

As said before, these two will have a major affect on Harm and Loren's future, starting with this chapter.

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They went to a bar nearby and had been there for 5 hours when a beautiful young woman entered.

Of course she immediately caught Keeter's eyes and it didn't take him long before he was making his way over to her.

Harm watched in amusement at the quick and merciless way his friend was shot down, the shock at being rejected clear on the handsome pilot's face. This was obviously the first time a woman had rejected him and Harm could understand his shock.

Still stunned he came back to the bar, which is when Harm decided to have a little fun with his friend.

"Watch." he told Keeter and before the other man could remind him of Loren, his long legs were eating the short distance between the brunette and the bar.

"Hello, sweet buns of steel." Harm drawled as he took a seat next to her, glancing at her small tight behind.

The brunette had a startled expression at Harm's greeting, but then her eyes followed his to Jack, who had followed his friend, trying to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life by cheating on Loren. Her expression changed to a sultry one and she returned his greeting. "Hello, there; tall, dark and handsome."

Harm smiled the smile that made women weak in the knees. Keeter could testify to it's effectiveness, because he'd seen it work plenty of times before "What you say I give you a lift to my bed?"

"Harm!" Keeter exclaimed horrified. He'd never thought Harm to be the one to cheat on the woman he was with. "What about Loren, you know, the woman you're having a baby with!?"

"Oh." the brunette brightened "Think she would be interested in a threesome? I've never done it with a pregnant woman before..."

"I dunno." replied Harm "I'll ask her."

"Harm!" Jack's yell was even louder this time.

Harm couldn't hold it in anymore, he chuckled and finally turned to Jack, slinging his arm over the small brunette's shoulders "Oh, grow up, Keeter. Allow me to introduce you to LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes, my RIO. Skates, this is CDR Jack Keeter, my classmate and roommate from the Academy and flight training."

Harm and Skates started laughing as Keeter's eyes bulged even more and he wordlessly started pointing between the two of them.

"Now, Hammer, what's this I hear about you expecting a baby?" she turned to Harm.

He grinned sheepishly. "Well, it's not _me _expecting a baby, but my... er... girlfriend. And I feel pretty stupid at saying 'girlfriend' at 40. Anyway, we're expecting a girl in 3 months."

Skates squealed and hugged her old pilot fiercely. "Congratulations, I'm so thrilled for you!" When she let go of him she frowned "She's not by any chance about my height, blond and blue-eyed?"

Harm's brow furrowed "Yes, she is. Why?"

Skates groaned "Then I did have the right apartment." turning to a surprised Harm she explained "I wanted to visit you today, but when I knocked a pregnant blond woman answered the door."

Harm didn't like this "Why didn't then Loren tell me?"

Beth quickly reassured him "It's not her fault, Harm, I didn't even say why I was there, I just saw her and apologised, then left."

"Oh." Harm nodded appeased.

"Now tell me, Hammer, why the hell haven't you married her yet? Knocking a woman up and not marrying her is not something I'd expect of you."

"Yeah, that's what I want to know too." Keeter joined.

"Well..." Harm hedged "I wasn't sure she was ready yet for that."

"Harm!" yelled Skates exasperated "The woman is having your baby! How much more ready for you popping the question do you think she can even be? And if she doesn't, then there's either something seriously wrong with her or with your relationship. Which means you need to have a long talk."

"Yeah." echoed the burly pilot "If you don't do it, you'll be sorry in the future, I guarantee you. Besides, your child deserves a real family with it's parents married. And I can't believe I'm actually trying to talk you into putting on a ball and chain!"

Squaring his shoulders Harm nodded firmly "You're right. I'll ask her."

"That's the spirit!" enthused Jack "Just go and pop the question to the woman."

Harm nodded and after paying for his tab, left the bar.

Keeter downed the rest of his drink and looked at the pretty woman next to him "I know this great restaurant nearby, wanna go get something to eat?"

Skates looked up at him piercingly "You gonna hit on me?"

Grinning, Keeter nodded "I can pretty much guarantee that."

Skates rolled her eyes, but nonetheless stood up "Just don't expect me to be putting out tonight or anytime soon. I'm not easy."

"Scout's honor." Keeter swore, helping Skates into her jacket.

"So, knowing him for so long, what do you think of Harm's new life?" Skates probed the waters.

Keeter was silent as they left the bar until they stopped under a streetlight. After Jack called for a taxi he turned back to her, having finally decided to answer her querry "I think I envy the man." he said lightly, yet Skates could see the sincerity in his eyes.

Even though that lifted some of her reservations the thought of getting involved with another man this soon after John was unthinkable.

As they waited for the cab, Keeter wondered what was about this woman that had chased any thoughts of scoring with her, out of his mind. Why did he for the first time in his life, want to get to _know _a beautiful woman, instead of just wanting to get into her panties?

Shrugging, he decided not to worry about it and just go with the flow.

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Harm stared devastated at Loren's stiff back as she left the living room in a huff. How could a simple proposal have gone this wrong?

Things had started out so well, until he'd lost his courage and instead of telling the truth, that he wanted her to be his wife, because he'd fallen in love with her and that he wanted them to be a family officially, he'd started babbling something about life insurance and about Loren and the baby being taken care off financially if something happened to him.

Sure, he'd turned into an idiot in one second flat, but that still didn't mean she had to slap him! Or leave the room, tears falling in torrents. The last thing he'd wanted to do was to hurt her.

His cheek stinging, Harm rose to his feet and followed her to their bedroom. He stopped in the doorway, undecided.

Finally, he crossed over to the bed and got on it with Loren, taking her into a tight embrace from behind.

He would never understand women, especially not why Loren started crying even more when he whispered "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked" into her ear.

As he spent the rest of the night wide awake, holding the woman of his heart in his arms, he asked himself how could he have screwed up something as simple as a proposal in such a way.

It would probably take them a while to recover from this, but, in the end, he knew they'd prevail over even this faux pas.

They had to.

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please REVIEW!


	75. Chapter 75

A very interesting article (without the spaces). The title isn't really a good one, since the article is about excessive individualism in adults and that kids are raised too much in this spirit and how society is affected by this way of thinking, than about parents putting themselves before their kids (though it's about that too).

http://uk. news. yahoo. com/21/20090202/tuk-selfish-adults-threat-to-children-6323e80. html

Please keep on reviewing!

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"You got everything ready?" Loren called out from the kitchen area.

"Yeah, just about!"

Grabbing the salted popcorn, foregoing putting butter on it (the something that makes it so fattening), and the bottles of mineral water, Loren headed into the living room where Harm had set up the movie they'd be watching tonight.

Harm could still barely believe he had the Satan aka a TV, in his home after years of getting along without it quite happily. But now it was no longer just him, Loren liked watching TV, so he had to adapt.

But _renting_ a movie _on his own_? He had quite possibly gone mad. Except for one little tid-bit: it was his way of getting them back on even keel, following his disastrous proposal. For the first few days after the incident he'd been honestly afraid he'd come home one day and find Loren and her stuff missing, that Loren would leave him. He wouldn't even have gotten a Dear John letter since they weren't lovers. It'd made him desperate, desperate enough to sacrifice himself by renting a movie and watching the Satan.

Making sure everything was ready he took a seat on the couch and covered his legs, since the last few nights had been cold because of the rain that'd been lasting for the last week.

Taking a seat on the couch next to his lifemate Loren set the popcorn bowl on the couch and the bottles on the coffee table, then took a seat. Harm was discouraged to notice she was sitting over a foot away from him, not close to him like he'd gotten used to always find her before _it_.

He hit the PLAY button and the credits started rolling.

Loren couldn't keep in the affected "Aww, how cute." when the fluffy creature appeared on the screen. Harm looked at her in surprise, he hadn't known the word 'cute' was even in Loren's vocabulary.

More agreeable noises followed when suddenly there were more fluffy little things.

Just as he was really getting into the film, the scene changed to something ugly and Loren's hand, filled with popcorn, stopped mid-motion.

"So, this is what happens if they eat after midnight." muttered Harm surprised.

Loren suppressed a whimper when suddenly a clawed hand emerged from the disgusting lump and reached out.

Thanking god she wasn't cuddled into Harm, which had been her first instinct when she'd sat down, but had suppressed because of the confusing emotions still zapping through her, since she wouldn't have been able to sink lower on the couch, with the fear growing inside her.

' As long as I don't see what's happening it'll be okay. Why the hell did he have to choose a scary movie?

This went on for another hour, Loren glanced at the screen only occasionally, when she felt it was safe, thus missing a large part of the plot; before she made a mistake. She looked at the TV just in time to see a slimy, green, bony, evil monster pop out at the screen. Her reaction was instantaneous and dramatic: letting out a loud, high-pitched blood-curling scream she jumped directly into Harm's lap, wrapped her arms around his body with a strength he'd never expected she was capable of, and buried her face in his chest, whimpering.

Reflexively closing his arms around her, Harm almost gave into his first impulse to laugh, of course only after he recovered from the heart attack she'd nearly given him with her shriek, when he noticed her body's frantic shivering.

Amusement immediately turned into concern and he automatically began running a soothing hand up and down her slim back. Still, he couldn't repress gratitude towards the movie for eliminating the distance between him and Loren, even though he hadn't known this would happen.

"Everything okay, Loren?" he only got a whimper in return "Don't be scared, it's just a movie, a kids' movie at that."

Quite reluctantly, she pulled back a little, but enough to still remain in his arms, and glared at him "I'm not scared!"

"Yeah?" he contested "Then what is this all about?"

"This... it just..." she tried, but could come up with nothing. "Okay, fine, so scary movies terrify me, always have. I'm also afraid of the dark." she finally confessed, ashamed of the weakness.

"That's why you don't like going into the basement and always wait with turning out the light until I get in bed?"

She couldn't meet his eyes, so she just nodded.

"It's okay, Loren, everyone has a weakness of their own." he soothed.

"Right." she snorted "Now you're gonna tell me you're afraid of something. As if I'm gonna believe you."

"Um." Harm paused, for a second not sure whether to continue "Actually, yes. I'm terrified of spiders, the big ones."

This time she did look at him, with an expression that clearly said she thought he was insane.

"I've never been afraid of them, until I was 16. If you had spent a summer in the jungles of Vietnam you would understand the reason. The spiders there are bigger than my fist."

At the image he portrayed Loren couldn't help but join his shudder.

Looking into his eyes she knew he was telling her the truth and it warmed her heart to have him confess such hidden parts of himself that no-one, absolutely no-one, knew about.

"Would you rather watch something else?"

After a second's thought she shook her head "No, it's okay. Just hold me?"

He didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms around her and leaned back, his heart dancing at how willing she was to get back to the way their relationship had been just 4 days ago.. To his surprise she continued her pressure on him until he was prone on the couch and after a moment's re-adjustment Loren found the right position and stilled on him.

He wouldn't admit it to her, especially since he felt guilty for being happy she had at least one weakness, but it felt damn good to play the protector to his lady. Like every other person he too wanted to feel, not just wanted, but also needed by the person he'd chosen to spend the rest of his life with. To his surprise it also felt good to have confided in her his own weakness and to have her know it, without making fun of him.

As he laid back on his couch with Loren curled up deeply within his arms, seeking and giving off heat, he thought back to the time before this multi-layered woman had moved into his apartment and, later, into his heart, within her body bringing along hope for the future.

Had she not, then by this time of the evening he would've been reading a book, while listening to the music, or playing his guitar. Perhaps he would've been nursing his solitary beer, trying to ignore the emptiness of his apartment. Basically he would've been bored. Not to mention alone and lonely.

Look how it turned out. Now he was spending his evenings in the presence of another person in his home, an adult person. A woman at that and even beautiful. And not just any woman, but an interesting and engaging woman, a woman who constantly intellectually challenged him, kept him on his toes and always had something interesting to say. Hell, even worrying about her was refreshing and nice, because he now HAD someone to worry about. He wasn't alone anymore, he was now a part of a couple, a part of _we_, he would never be alone again.

When he was enjoying these quiet, slow, cozy evenings at home the only thing he regretted was not having asked her out for a drink when she'd first transferred in. They would've had this all so much sooner had he asked her out at the beginning...

Not to mention he wouldn't have had to go through all crap Mac had put him through.

"Loren?" he whispered.

"Hm?" was her sleepy reply.

"If I had asked you out when you first transferred to HQ, would you have accepted?"

She raised her head, yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes, clearly annoyed with him bothering her with these questions when she was trying to nap. "Yes, but back then probably only as a way to advance my career."

"Hm." he grunted and let her sleep.

So she would've accepted...

Even though she'd qualified that it would've probably been only for her career he was sure it wouldn't have been true for long. They'd been together for only a short time and she'd changed dramatically.

But how much was he the cause for her evolution and how much was her pregnancy?

Yet, perhaps she'd unknowingly just been waiting for someone to believe in her and give her the support she needed to initiate the change?

Or Harm would've ended up like Sergei, a kind-of-a rebound from her previous personality, the person who was used to initiate the healing and was discarded in the process?

Whatever it was, Harm would never know. And while the regret of perhaps losing 3+ years that could've been spent on a functional relationship with a future instead of wasted on a dysfunctional emotional-tug-of-war dead-end with Mac, he Loren could've been married and had a couple of kids of truly their own by now; while this regret lay heavily on his heart, Harm knew wallowing never amounted to anything.

Enjoying the present and looking forward to the future was a much better prospect and Harm planned on doing just that, with Loren by his side.

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	76. Chapter 76

Oh, you've gotta see this:

http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=ohkwNBPE4tQ

But bewarned that I take no responsibility if anyone pees themself from laughter.

Yes, the movie in the prev. part was Gremlins (the first part, not the sequel which IMHO sucked).

Hey, **Starman800**, excellent grammar, just the part "Kako dolgo si na načrtovanje, tako da je" is a little unclear. Directly translated into English it means "How long are you on planning, so that it is". What is the actual intended meaning? Also, thank you for the compliment and, as you said, will hear from you later... Btw., WHEN for god's sake will you finally update "Favor"? It's been MONTHS! I've long passed cold turkey!

It's so lovely to have such lovely readers like you, I adore your reviews, so please write more of them.

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Mac was just taking a break from the crowd on one of the balconies when she heard two male voices approaching.

Upon identifying the topic of their discussion she decided to listen in as they were talking about who the attending penguins were. She didn't know these two men, but it seemed they knew everybody.

Once again the Surface Warfare Ball had rolled around and the whole JAG gang was there. It was June and the weather was hot, even at 2200.

Things were much different than they were 2 years ago. There would be no Brumby suddenly turning up to 'be close to the woman he loved' and there was no Renee, who had never been any real competition.

In a surprising and admittedly painful role-reversal this time it was MAC who wasn't competition to the woman firmly entrenched in Harm's life, this time it was Mac looking in from the outside, while regretting stupid choices she'd made that had ultimately pushed Harm away and into the arms of the one woman she really hated, one woman who was smarter than Mac and would thus never let him go.

She let her mind wander over how life at JAG had changed ever since Harm and Loren had announced they were together and expecting a baby.

This didn't stop people completely, however. Rumor mill is simply unbelievable. There were even some theories that this was their sixth child...

For some reason Mac suddenly tuned in just as one of the men, she dubbed him Man #2, asked the other. "Who is the brunette anyway?"

"Which one?" returned the Man #1 in a bored voice. "There are about a hundred brunettes here and a hundred thousand blondes... It's as if they are cloning blondes..."

"The fallen madonna with the..." there was a silence and she heard cloth moving. She could easily imagine #2 holding his hands away from his chest and was confirmed when she heard the other ask in an amused voice.

"Big boobies?" as a reference to the legend of comedy, an old british show 'Allo 'Allo.

"Well, yeah, but I meant more like, with the breast-job."

"Ah..." there was silence for 3 seconds. "Again, I ask, which one? There are about a hundred of them... Each one of these politicians has at least one surgically-enhanced 20-something brunette or blonde on their arm."

"Well, this one is much older. I mean the one in the red dress, hanging around Chegwidden."

Mac frowned when she realized he'd meant her with the 'much older' remark. As many other women she was sensitive about her age too.

'Hey, I'm not much older! I'm just.... erm... just....' she frowned when she remembered her age. 'just... 36.' She finished lamely and a horrified mental silence followed at the realization of just how the years had passed her by. 'Shit, he's right, I AM old!'

Then thinking back to the earlier remark she looked down at her boobs. 'Okay, so he was right, I had a breast-job done. So what? Lot's of women do it!'

Her attention was then drawn from admiring her breasts back to the conversation at hand as the full-of-information one answered. "Oh, that one? Her name's MacKenzie, she's a Marine."

#2 muttered thoughtfully as he tried to undig a memory. "MacKenzie... Marine... where did I hear that one before?"

It took him a few seconds to remember. "I've got it. You mean the one who slept with her CO, who then recommended her for Law School? They were then found out and tried for fraternization, right?"

The other hummed in confirmation. "That one. She's a looker, has a great body, but not worth throwing your career away for. Farrow was an idiot controlled by his dick."

"Wasn't she found guilty of adultery too? Then murdered her husband when being tried for another thing?"

"Yeah, she was. Found guilty. Got off, got promoted soon after. The trial you're talking about was when she was tried for perjury. She was found guilty of perjury, but ol' Cheggy saved her from the jail and disbarrment she should've received. Said he'd punish her himself with an Admiral's Mast. Instead she got away with no punishment at all, the old man didn't even notify the Lawyer Board as he shoud've. Even got promoted 6 months after, even though she should've come before the promotions board only over 5 years later. She probably did get to experience the Admirals' Mast, but not the one the court thought she'd get."

"Think he's sleeping with her?" mused the other one.

"Who? Chegster?" #1 then continued thoughtfully. "Perhaps. Or wants to. Otherwise I can't see why he would still have her on staff and that at HQ, the prime and most desired assignment with so many black marks on her record. Even her trial record isn't something to gawk about, more average, saw the stats with my own two eyes. Does her job competently enough, but doesn't stretch herself for her clients. Average win-loss ratio. Nothing special. So, I can't see any other reason for him to save her from jail, break the rules by not alerting the Lawyer Board of her breaking the rules by lying under oath, keep her at HQ even though her performance is average,... He's probably keeping her nearby for when he retires..."

"Wait a minute! Didn't they say that Rabb was the one doing her? Weren't they partners?"

"They're partners occasionally, yeah. As for sleeping with her... I don't know. Even though I never believed it because of the unreleased tension between them, everybody has always suspected them of it. One moron was even stupid enough to ask Rabb if it was true and that even in a crass manner. Rabb popped him one on the nose, can't say I blame the guy. The moron didn't press charges of course, cause with what he'd asked Rabb he'd brought it on himself."

"Or Rabb was just covering their affair up by blowing up at the man."

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because of the latest tid-bit I've heard of Rabb."

There was silence for 10 seconds before it became obvious he was trying for dramatic effect. Finally, his companion's patience ran out.

"Well, what is it? Speak up, man!"

"Rabb's married."

The silence was absolute this time, even Mac was dumbfounded. ' _What?_ '

Her thoughts were echoed by the Man #2. "What do you mean 'married'? Since when? To whom?"

Man #1 started slowly. "It's just a rumor, so it's unconfirmed. To one of the lawyers at HQ. Some say they've been married for years, even before she got reassigned there from Norfolk. But I don't know, Rabb always respected chain of command and never pulled strings even though he could've. My source at HQ says even the staff there doesn't know most of the details and circumstances of when and how it happened, they're just guessing. But according to my source it's an accepted fact that they're married even though they haven't come out and admitted it. They're even expecting a baby in the Fall."

"Well, who is she?" his friend was obviously impatient.

"Erm... You see the blonde in the sky-blue dress coming to the group from the toilet area?"

"Oh, you mean that petite little thing with the belly?"

Man #1 snorted. "She's not fat, dumbass. She's pregnant. And don't call her a 'petite little thing'. From what I've heard of her, she chews nails for breakfast, has barb-wire for lunch, pisses napalm and would tear you apart for that remark with no regret. Behind her back they call her The Shark, because she's like a shark in the courtroom. Smells blood from miles away, homes-in and tears the victim to pieces."

"Ouch." the wince was obvious in the man's voice.

"Yeah."

There was a contemplative silence when Man #2 spoke up. "Oh, look, the control freak is calling you. For the second time. In the last minute."

"Would you please stop calling my wife 'control freak'? She's not that bad."

"No." the other agreed. "She's just got control issues. Like, she needs to control every little thing you do or where you go or with whom or else she'll croak. She calls you all the time when you're out, she goes into rage mode if you even look at another woman, you can't spend any time with your friends anymore,..."

"Bill..." the warning was clear.

"Okay, okay, I give up, sorry!"

"Good." the married one agreed. The voices mode aways. "Let's go see what my master wants." followed by the other man's snicker.

"Man, you really need to grow some balls."

The last thing she heard of them was a sigh "Yeah, I know and I intend to."

Mac stayed in her place for 10 more minutes, contemplating the newest revelations. So, rumor had it she was sleeping with the Admiral. Nothing new and considering her past, her well-documented preference for older men, her track record in her relationships with her CO's and the fact that she HAD entertained the thought and HAD shared several sexually very charged moments with him, it was nothing strange. But they thought she'd been sleeping with Harm? Where did they get that from? Their relationship was the epitome of unreleased sexual frustration.

But the thing causing her most gray hair was the theory Harm was married to Loren. She could confidently say that Harm had not been married to anyone before she'd come back from USS Guadalcanal. He'd been with Renee before that and Harm would never use a woman or intentionally hurt one, that she knew with absolute certainty.

But it was the fact that she couldn't say anything about his personal life after Renee that made sad. They'd grown apart so much that she didn't even know what was going on in his private life and for the first time in her life she was accepting responsibility for her actions, by being truthful with herself in admitting that most of the blame lay on her shoulders. She was the one who'd been playing games with him the past 4 years, pushing him away and then pulling him back again when she'd pushed him too far and was afraid he'd lose interest. Somewhere along the line she had obviously pushed him away too hard and too far for too long and he had lost interest or broke off out of self-preservation, moved on and found someone more worthy of his time, loyalty, affections, love and, ultimately, the honor of conceiving and carrying his child and spending the rest of her life with him.

So, when had they gotten married?

But, in the end, did it matter? What mattered was that they were obviously together for the long haul, they were living together, they were expecting a baby together, with Harm behaving as the typical expecting father and their relationship was exclusive. The whole 2 hours the party had been going on Harm had been hovering only around Loren, but tried not to hover in a way that would make Loren lose her patience. Yet another proof of a longterm relationship: he knew her well enough to know just where the limits of that patience were. Still, his attention was focused almost solely on Loren. He'd been polite with their coworkers, but for the first time Mac could remember Harm was forming a smaller, exclusive, 2-person group within their JAG HQ family. An exclusive group Mac was not part of.

She didn't like it one bit.

But, for the sake of her friendship with Harm, she would take her new spot in his life, one she was sharing with everyone else and not one she held by herself, the spot Loren now occupied, and be supportive of him as much as she could.

Harm deserved happiness in his life and she wouldn't stand in his way.

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	77. Chapter 77

Hey **Camile**, nice to see you back!

I can't say anything about the length of this fic, **Starman**, BUT the parts where they admit they're in love and get engaged are already written and it won't be long before they're up. I hope to read that shower scene in Favor soon!

Thanks for all your lovely reviews, they always make my day, so please keep them up!

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"Yes, this will do just fine." mumbled Loren to herself as she finished rooting through Harm's stuff and held up one of his largest shirts, the flannel soft against her fingers.

"Did you say something?" asked Harm as he came in, wiping his hands on a handtowel. He'd been preparing dinner when he'd heard Loren's muttering and couldn't help but come investigate.

Loren didn't answer, too concentrated on her perusal of his shirt.

Harm leaned against the doorjamb and observed her with amusement.

"Isn't that a little too big for you? It's even large on me..."

She pressed the shirt againt her chest as if he'd take it from her, as she turned around, rolled her eyes and explained with a patient, patronizing tone, as if explaining to a very small child. "Harm, I'm pregnant."

"I've noticed." Harm replied, looking pointedly at her bulging belly, quite obviously evident with her only wearing a small tank top.

She was looting for tops after all and that meant she wasn't wearing one right now and because she never wore a bra at home. It was definitely messing with Harm's concentration and heart-beat. True, they'd gotten closer, but that didn't mean that they were anywhere to the point where she would have no qualms about prancing before him topless. The thought that he was going to see a LOT more than just her naked breasts when she would be giving birth was studiously ignored.

"And that means I'm gonna get bigger than I am now. By 9 months I'll be lucky if this shirt will still fit me."

"Really?" he asked mirthfully.

"Yes." Loren nodded solemnly, but her eyes twinkled. "By the end I'm gonna be as big as a shamoo, so I have to be prepared when the time comes, unless I want to wake up one day and realize that not only am I a beached whale that has suddenly sprouted legs, but also a whale that doesn't have anything to wear."

Harm burst into laughter and strode over to her, pulling her into his arms and kissing the top of her head. "And you'll be just as beautiful then as you are now, just as you were before your pregnancy, only that you'll be glowing with motherhood even more. And that whale thing you've got going... you'll look cute with that waddle."

He gave her one last squeeze before letting go and returned into the kitchen to finish preparing their meal, leaving her gaping in shock. ' Did he just say what I think he just said? Me, beautiful? At 9 months? Is he on some kind of drugs!? '

Then the shock deepend when she realized she felt positively gleeful at the knowledge that he not only thought her beautiful, but would think her just as beautiful when she'd be as big as a house, since she'd be housing an almost developed human inside. And yet, he would still think she was beautiful because she was carrying their child.

What was it about this man that made her feel so good about herself?

Just then she remembered everything he'd said and the waddle thing stuck out prominently. Her eyes narrowed. "If I hear any 'quack' you won't be able to make me pregnant with our next baby, cause you'll be shooting blanks!"

She heard Harm roar in laughter and couldn't help but smile herself.

The fact that she'd just hinted that it was a given they would have at least one more child, that they would make that child _together,_ that they would eventually have a physical relationship and that Harm would create a child in her, in her womb, at some point in the future, was a little startling, but she had to acknowledge that it was not a world-shaker considering the pact they'd made, having committed themselves to each other for the long haul.

True, the specific terms of their deal said they were together only to raise the child together, but she was an intelligent woman and she'd already realized that their feelings for each other and their relationship had already outgrown their deal. Besides, if nothing else, she knew that by the time their child would leave for College they would be too attached to each other, used to each other and living together, and plainly too old to separate and suddenly go back to being single with Harm being 58 and her 50.

They'd started their relationship not as a romantic couple that got too hasty and went too fast into the marriage and family thing, but as two friends who's decision, not one caused by raging hormones being swept away by the moment of passion but by thinking it through thoroughly, had been to get together with the purpose of raising a child and spend the rest of their lives together, with no expectations for anything romantic between them.

True, Harm's offer had been made soon after learning the paternity of the baby, but it wasn't a decision that he would ever regret, family meant everything to him and doing this was something he would never regret, besides having come to know Loren better and like her more every day. During the last couple of months he'd gotten more attached to her than any other woman before. He knew there would inevitably come moments when they would get on each other's nerves or be angry at each other, but he knew that even by now the bond they'd created, one forged with friendship, devotion, of caring for the baby, of caring for each other, of being a family, would withstand anything that anyone or anything could and would throw at them.

And in Loren's case that was even more true. She'd taken days to finally decide she wanted this, days during which she had also come to experience what her life would be like without Harm and his caring for her, and it'd made her realize that having Harm in her life forever was something she wanted more than anything, and having to live a life without him in it was something she could not even bear the thought of.

Oh, Harm was in no way perfect, sometimes he stuck his foot in his mouth or was oblivious to something (sometimes that was also a plus, like his being oblivious to the appreciative and interested gazes of other women, which spared Loren a lot of trouble in having to set those women straight), but he was perfect for _her_. It was by now obvious that he cared for her, for Loren, the woman, the friend, the Naval officer, the life partner, the mother of his child and the family she was to him; not just as his niece's incubator.

She also knew Harm never took commitments easy, that once he committed himself to a woman for the long haul, whether by marriage or by baby, he would stick with that woman for the rest of their lives. MacKenzie had once called him commitment-phobic and until Loren had really gotten to know him, she'd thought that was true since he'd never committed himself to Renee either formally or by having a child with her. When he had finally committed himself to someone, he had shocked the living daylights out of her by doing that with someone she had never expected him to do it to, namely to herself. He had committed himself to her with declaring the desire, intent and wish, for them to be together, to live together, to raise this baby together.

Because this relationship had been started rationally and platonically she knew with everything she was that they would work out long term and being who they were, how much they wanted the stable life that a family can provide, it was also a sure thing they would eventually have more of them.

Not only were they normal people, celibate had also been proven unhealthy, physically, mentally as well as emotionally; and since they were in this relationship for life, were both attractive people, attracted to each other, it was a sure thing that their relationship would some day become physical as well. There was no doubt they would eventually give in and make love for the first time of thousands.

She was fully aware of that, had probably been aware of it even when she'd agreed to do this, but had just been in denial.

His dilated pupils whenever he looked at her told her he definitely liked what he saw, even though she was pregnant and personally felt like a beached dolphin. She'd feel like a beached whale in a couple of months...

Coming out of her musings she was shocked to realize she was clutching the shirt to her chest and pressing a part of it to her face, breathing in his scent.

She quickly removed it, looking around embarrassed to check he hadn't seen her display of emotions. True, she'd been emotional as a result of her pregnancy, but she was sure she would get herself even more embarrassed had he caught her breathing in the scent of him that still lingered on his clothes, no matter how washed and clean they were.

His scent was just so male that it roused something completely primal, a cavewoman, inside her.

She herself wouldn't know how to explain it even to herself, but when she took a whiff of him, no matter if directly off him or off his clothes, it had her blood rush through her veins, she became dizy and flushed and just wanted him to tear her clothes off and take her time and time again until they were both raw and completely spent. Not only that, it also filled her with a sense of security, safety, that she got only from and with him.

Flushing with embarrassement and arousal she brought herself out of her daze and checked to make sure Harm hadn't come back in the meantime.

Satisfied that she was alone she delegated the pilfered shirt to her own drawer, took one of his old USN sweatshirts, slipped it onto her body, took in a deep breath of him and went back to looting his drawer.

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	78. Chapter 78

Hope you like this new update and thank you for all your reviews. Let me know what you think of this part.

**camile:** and thank _you_ for reviewing and for keeping with me for so long. I hope you like this new part.

**Nerida**: sorry to keep you waiting so long for this new part again, but I thought it best to push the other fic through the previous week, instead of dragging it on. It was meant as a standalone, but grew too long to post it in one go. Thank you and take care!

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Loren was in her sixth month now and showing quite clearly already.

Harm had caught himself several times since they'd moved in together captivated by the aformentioned belly, to his great embarrassement.

He didn't want to become like Tiner who had the hots for pregnant women, for crying out loud!

Still, he had to admit the thought that there was actually a living being, a HUMAN, _inside _ Loren, in Loren's abdomen, was taking up much of his attention and concentration. Of course he'd known pregnant women before, but none of them had ever lived with him, none of them had ever been, in effect, his wife, he had never bound his life with any of them, committed to spending the rest of it with her and raise that child with her. It was something completely new.

He couldn't get over just how amazingly brilliant Nature was when she'd created mammals. The male and female mate, which in itself is an amazingly pleasurable past-time (and this pleasure is probably the only reason why the human species still exists), and in the female's body they create a new life, their offspring, a new representative of their species that would carry on their genes long after they and it would be dead.

And that wasn't the most amazing thing. That offspring was actually in there, alive, living and growing inside the female's body. Okay, so it wasn't actually classified as a living, autonomonous being, it was actually a parasite in it's way of living, taking it's host's body's resources to survive, but still... Then, after it was born, the female was capable of providing their child with food made by her own body and that for years if needed.

Whenever they were just enjoying quiet time after work in the evening together his hands would somehow, of their own accord, end up on Loren's belly, feeling their daughter move inside.

When it'd first happened Loren had looked at him strangely, but had not stopped him.

Now, curled up on the couch together, each with a book of their own, his arm around her and the hand on her lower abdomen had become a routine.

So, when he came out of the shower one evening, having showered and brushed his teeth, he was enthralled by the sight of Loren on their bed.

Already having showered and taken care of other pre-sleep routines she was dressed in her usual night clothes, one of his T-shirts (they were big and because of that comfortable) and his boxers.

Living with Loren had taught him that living with a woman is like communism in a way when it comes to clothes. The man's clothes are public property and they both wear them. Eventually the man's clothes start disappearing from his closet and start appearing in hers. Until one day he finds out his casual clothes closet is practically empty and hers is full to bursting because she'd taken over his clothes and is wearing them, especially while she's pregnant. The casual clothes aren't the only thing in danger, however, dress shirts are also in danger because for some strange reason some women love to wear their men's shirts, especially if they were worn by their man that day. Women are strange creatures sometimes indeed...

Thankfully this... commandeering... of clothes lessens somewhat over the years and the guy doesn't have to either buy new stuff or steal his own clothes back. Erm, correction... he DOES have to steal his stuff back.

And it's just the guy's clothes that are in danger....

Because... you know... for some reason it would look weird if a guy went out wearing women's clothing. Unless he's a transvestite. And most men would rather throw themselves off a bridge than be transvestites.

Okay, so there's the fact that usually the man is larger than the woman (though there are exceptions) and he couldn't wear her clothes because of the smaller size in the first place. Not to mention the colors... pink... yuck.

Which leads to men waging a constant struggle with their significant others to keep their own clothes, lest they want to walk around naked. Or go broke buying new stuff every week. Unless they take back what is rightfully theirs... Reclaiming it can be quite a lot of fun too, especially if the offender in question is wearing those clothes right that moment...

Anyway, wearing Harm's clothes, Loren had propped herself up on the bed's headboard and pulled the T-shirt up, revealing her swollen belly. Harm definitely liked the sight, even with her weird cravings Loren was sticking to eating healthy and in the same quantities as before, she wasn't using the pregnancy as an excuse to let herself go, so there was no unneeded fat anywhere on her body. The supple skin stretched so tightly over her full womb it was shining in the light of the bedside lamp and he could clearly see bulges appearing where their child moved or struck out.

Loren smiled down at her belly and lovingly ran a hand over her daughter's shelter.

Then she took a plastic bottle off the night stand. Harm's curiosity had him speak just as she was intending to pour the contents into her palm.

"Loren?" she stopped her movements and looked up at him, blushing slightly at realizing just how intensely Harm had been observing her. She couldn't deny the unbidden thought that she wished Harm wouldn't just stare, but come to her, kiss her, take their clothes off and make love to her.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" he tilted his head questioningly.

"I'm going to rub this cocoa butter in."

Sure, he knew that women spent an awful lot of money, and time, on various body lotions, creams, face masks,... and so many other assorted little bottles, containers, bowls, etc that it makes a man's head hurt, but why cocoa butter? Except for the fact that it smelled really good, reminding him of the younger days on beaches, girls of summer, cocoa-suntan oil, moonlight walks, kissing and sex.

Loren recognized his confused face and rolling her eyes she explained. "Oh, right. Well, this cocoa cream is supposed to be rubbed into the skin of the belly to keep it supple, soft and stretchy to prevent stretch marks and to prevent the skin from drying out."

Usually she had this part done before Harm came out of the shower, but this time she'd been too caught up in contemplating the changes to her life and lost track of time.

During her explanation Harm had moved as if hypnotized to her side and when she moved again to pour the lotion into her hand he gently stopped her, taking the bottle from her.

She looked up at him confused and was just about to demand what did he think he was doing, when instead he poured the lotion into his own palm.

Uncertainly she looked on as he rubbed it between his hands to warm it up. His hands contacted with her warm skin and her muscles fluttered from his touch as her breath hitched.

Slowly he started spreading the lotion over her bulging stomach and Loren's world minimized to encompass only her and Harm. She only hoped she would be able to hide her physical reaction to his nearness, his scent and his touch. The second-trimester hormones were having fun with her and for the past few months she had been barely stopping herself from acting on them and attacking Harm. The only thing stopping her was the knowledge that their relationship wasn't ready for that step yet. Too bad, they'd have some major fun with how hornee she was all the time.

While Loren was concentrating on keeping her breathing even and pulse calm, their daughter predictably reacted to her father's touch and started moving again.

They both smiled and, locking their eyes, their smiles died out on their lips at what they saw in each other's eyes. Immediately they broke the eye contact, neither yet ready to go there, but knowing they wouldn't be able to keep it in for much longer.

Loren settled in and just enjoyed Harm's warm hands on her belly, equally spreading the lotion and massaging the skin. His circles widened and soon his hands were pushing hers, aka his, boxers down slightly so he could get the underside of the bump too.

Loren felt herself grow hot and wet as her hormones reawakened at his sensual touch so very close to her core that she actually felt him brush against her curls when he again brushed against the boxers' waist. Regretfully she stopped him, her hand caressing his own and a whispered 'thanks' aimed at him.

Had she not stopped him she knew she would've torn her clothes off in a second, with his following, and would've seduced him. Moving so fast would've been a great mistake, the biggest mistake they could've ever made, a mistake that could've cost them too much in their future, perhaps even destroyed their relationship and family. If there was something to happen between them, she was more than happy to wait for it to develop naturally, slowly to make sure it woud work in the long term and not force it, push it by involving sex.

Harm smiled at her and, holding eye contact for as long as possible, bent down to kiss the naked skin of her baby bulge, showing wordlessly he loved their child and in the meantime causing a powerful spark to arch from her toes up her spine to her hair. Dazed from the contact of his lips with her bare skin, she didn't know whether the spark was from pure arousal or from the intense feelings she was developing for this wonderful man. Even though she denied it to herself she felt a little disappointed that the kiss was meant only for their baby and not for her as well. Preoccupied with keeping in her own feelings she didn't know Harm had a few insecurities of his own and the fear of rejection and ruining what they had was the prominent one. For the time being he was satisfied with just being a family with her and was planning on enjoying this new life of his as much as possible.

Getting up he went into the bathroom to wash the lotion off his hands. When he came back he got into his side of the bed and turned off his own reading light, letting her decide on how she'd spend her night. But since experience had shown that it was now inevitable, he knew that in the morning he would wake up with Loren snuggled deeply into his embrace, sleeping like a log, with a small smile on her face.

As she herself settled down to sleep, turning off her own light, Loren had the feeling that this would become one of their favorite daily rituals in the coming months, one which she would enjoy greatly.

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	79. Chapter 79

Found this while surfing Youtube. They may sound crazy, but they give you something to think about:

http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=yisrt9c86qk

On a brighter note, thank you for your reviews, I love them. I hope you like this chapter, let me know!

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It was already dark outside and the apartment was lit by a single lamp, casting a warm light on the room, giving it a cozy, sleepy feeling. The room's temperature was warm and inviting.

They were sitting on the couch, Harm in the corner, leaning backwards, in the middle ground between prone and upright, with his arms around Loren and his chin on the golden crown of her hair where she had her head tucked under it and her face in his neck, breathing in his scent. Her own arms were around him, her legs curled beneath her and her growing belly resting against his own flat one.

Neither was saying anything, the atmosphere just so cozy and slow that neither felt like breaking it with talking.

The only thing missing to complete this serene picture was the crackling and light of a fire in a fireplace.

Harm was just being, not thinking about anything, he was just reclining there, enjoying the feel of holding the woman of his life in his arms and listening to her breathe deeply, almost dozing himself.

He wasn't sure if she was still completely awake, but he knew she wasn't asleep yet, for he could not hear the soft, gentle snoring he'd become so accustomed to over the last few months.

In the beginning he'd found her snoring quite amusing and many times when laying awake while she slept he had had to fight with himself to not start laughing.

Now he was used to it and wouldn't feel right nor complete if he couldn't listen to it for the rest of his life. The woman had become an integral part of him, a part he would not know how to be without any longer.

Because of the lack of that gentle snore he surmissed that she was just dozing in the lazy atmosphere.

He hated to break this silence, but what he had to ask was just too important to put off any longer. He'd been putting it off too long as it was.

"Loren?" he murmured.

"Mmmm?" she let out a sound he took as an acknowledgement. He'd been right, she was still somewhat awake.

"What do you say we buy a house? Or at least a bigger apartment? With more rooms. Oh, and it would have to have a fireplace."

Unbidden, the image of him making love to her on a soft, hairy rug in front of the fire, her body flushed, sweaty and contorted in exquisite pleasure while she called out his name in completion, came to life in his mind. He barely managed to beat it down before it illicited a physical response with him.

"Okay." she murmured, but he wasn't taking her words seriously for she was still sounding too out of it to make any sort responsible decisions.

Then it registered to her what he'd said. "Why?" However she was feeling to good to move from her spot to even look him in the eyes. And too afraid of what she'd see there. "Are you getting tired of me? I know I have some annoying habits, like draping myself all over you and now taking up the whole bed with how fat I am, but I thought it was working for us."

Harm heard the hurt in her voice even though she'd tried to hide it. He moved his chin back and with a finger under her own tilted her face up. Her eyes refused to meet his own and her gaze was skittering about the room.

Harm's heart twisted, before they'd gotten involved he never would've believed she could ever be or look as vulnerable as she was now. He hadn't meant to hurt her.

"God, no, Loren, I didn't mean that. I just thought that, with the baby on the way, we should look for something bigger. Yes, this apartment is big enough for both of us, but it won't be big enough for a family. The baby will need her own room too eventually. Especially when that baby grows up into a toddler who will need space for playing."

She finally met his eyes, hers a stormy, watery blue.

"Really?"

"Yeah." he nodded. "Besides, our arrangement is working out for me. Even if we buy some other place I won't want to change it. Will you?" he awaited her answer with trepidation. He was putting himself out on a limb here and a rejection would hurt horribly.

"No." she smiled tremulously and shook her head, prompting a small tear to escape. She wiped it away impatiently. "Damn hormones."

"Oh, Loren." Harm chuckled relieved and clutched her to himself. "It's okay to cry. I was almost doing some crying myself just seconds ago."

"You were?" she whispered skeptically into his neck as she hung on to him tightly.

"Okay, so I wasn't." he couldn't help but be truthful. This was what their relationship was all about... being honest and truthful with each other at all times "But I was still quite devastated at the prospect of what we have ending. You and the baby have come to mean everything to me and I don't know anymore what I would do if I lost you. If you for example decided to put distance between us. Besides, I'm enjoying sleeping in the same bed with you too much, I've gotten used to having you there, going to sleep with you laying next to me and waking with you in my arms. I know I'm no longer able to sleep alone, sleep without you there." he squeezed her reassuringly.

"You have?" Loren knew she was starting to sound stupid with the constant repeating of everything he'd said, but she couldn't help herself.

"Of course. I'm not the type of person to sleep with just anyone. I have to have some feelings for them," he hesitated for a second, but then added a safety net, too afraid of destroying what they had if she didn't feel the same "if just platonic."

Unseen by him a tear of disappointment broke through Loren's defences and trailed down her cheek to wet his T-shirt. Even against her best efforts not to start feeling something for him she was still disappointed that his only feelings for her were of the platonic nature. Even though she herself didn't know how she'd react if he were to declare his love for her she was still disappointed to find out that he didn't love her.

"So, what do you say we go house/aparment hunting tomorrow, huh?"

She pulled back to smile at him, successfully hiding her hurt with decades of practice. "Sure, just remember, the plumbing has to have good pressure."

"And a big bedroom so we can fit our bed in and all other closets." he added and Loren glowed at the qualifier 'our'.

Neither realized it, but both had the thought that they'd need to look for a big house, big enough for a family with more than one child. Both thought it, but neither was brave enough to voice it, neither to each other, nor to themselves.

"Okay." she made herself comfortable again.

"Good. Now, let's go to bed so tomorrow will come sooner."

He helped her off his lap and she batted his hand away from her derriere as soon as she was standing. He gave her a mischevious grin while she just rolled her eyes and hid a smile, departing swiftly so she was out of reach.

Later when they were in bed, Harm on his back with Loren pressed against his side, her large belly propped up on his hip so she could lay and breathe comfortably, he pressed his lips into her hair as she was starting to slip under. "Go to sleep."

"Mmmm." she murmured and a second later the soft snoring could be heard.

Harm felt a kick beneath his hand and he caressed her bare belly beneath her large T-shirt (formerly one of his T-shirts), whispering softly. "You too, kid."

He laid awake a while longer, tormented by how he'd chickened out when he'd had such an amazing opportunity to tell her he loved her. The truth was he was just plain scared, scared of being rejected, scared that the awkwardness that would've followed the rejection would've made her move out and leave him, terrified of losing the woman he loved and their child.

For over two hours he fought with himself and finally he succeeded pushing past the fear. "I love you." he managed to whisper down to the golden head of the slumbering beauty in his arms, angry at himself he only had the courage to say the words when she was sleeping. One day he'd find the courage and the strength to say them when she could hear him.

Turning off the light he settled down and, giving Loren one last tender squeeze and a kiss on her hair, he joined her in the dreamland.

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	80. Chapter 80

Here is another update of this saga, hope you like it.

Also, I have a poll going, please put in a vote. Thanks!

Thank you for your reviews, please keep them coming.

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When she woke up next day Loren found something was missing.

More like 'someone'. Contrary to how she'd woken up the last few weeks, this time she didn't wake up in Harm's arms, with her head on his chest.

Reaching her arm out she felt around, finding nothing. Even the sheets were cold.

Getting up on her elbow she looked around blearily. "Harm!" she called out huskily, her voice still clogged with sleep.

Nothing.

The apartment was apparently empty.

She plopped herself on her back and yawned, dragging her hand over her face. "Where are you?" she mumbled to herself thinking about Harm.

Rolling over she got up clumsily, slowly starting to need help when getting out of the bed. She had suddenly put on weight and the constant shifts of her center of gravity kept her off balance and forcing her to need Harm's help to get out of bed sometimes.

Walking into the kitchen, okay, waddling into the kitchen, she found a pot of tea cooling.

Out of sympathy for her plight, namely having to give up coffee for the duration of the pregnancy, Harm had given it up as well and now they usually drank tea. The other reason for his giving up coffee was that it'd been disturbing and somewhat annoying the way she'd stared with hunger and longing whenever he had a cup of the dark brew in his hands. Therefore, for his own as well as the baby's safety, he'd decided to give it up.

Pouring herself a cup she looked around the apartment for any clue why Harm was not there.

Finding nothing she gave up and took a seat on one of the high island stools, once again reaffirming her decision to ask Harm to make it a little lower. Because she was a petite woman she had to slightly jump onto the seat even when she hadn't been pregnant, but now with the added weight and her agility lowered she was having trouble getting up on it.

She knew that they'd run out of bread yesterday, so she was hoping that Harm had run out for it. Giving in she fished out an old newspaper and started absently listing through it, sipping at her cup.

Inwardly she was slightly angry at herself for the fact that she was missing Harm so much that she felt incomplete without him. It did nothing for the feminist in her who demanded that she be independent and not dependant on a man for anything. However it was already too late for that, she'd already attached herself to Harm for everything.

A few minutes later she heard the key in the lock and a smile appeared on her face. Harm was home!

Jumping off her seat she waddled over to the door, welcoming him home with a bright smile and a kiss on the cheek, which he returned.

Inwardly she chastised herself for acting like some damn dog who was doing cartwheels just because his master had come home. Still, she'd missed him and was happy he was home again, no matter how much this bothered her.

'Besides, it's not like he never shows he's happy to see me, quite the opposite.' she thought to herself as she saw the happy smile he sent her.

"Hey, I see you're finally up, sleepy head." that one had definitely deserved a glare, even though it was broken up when her lips were again stretched into a smile.

She was just feeling too good to even attempt a grouchy disposition.

"Got the paper. What say we check out the classifieds after breakfast?" at Loren's stern and impatient scowl he quickly ammended. "Or we can do that now and the breakfast waits..."

She grinned and nodded. Seeing her eagerness Harm let out a hearty laugh and shook his head. Fishing the paper out of the bag he handed it over. Loren snatched it and a pen and headed to the table.

Half an hour later they had 5 possibilities selected and viewings arranged.

The rest of the day until they had to go out for the first viewing passed in an excited anticipation, with Loren practically buzzing around the apartment.

The first two houses were a miss, a mix of flaws: too small, too expensive, too shabby, not the right neighborhood...

With the third one they struck gold. It had the perfect location, just a couple of miles out of Falls Church, in a quiet rural area, yet the house was still modern, with all the luxuries you need for the contemporary way of life. An old farm house, renovated 10 years ago, 5 bedrooms, an en-suite for the master bedroom which also had one of the smaller bedrooms-turned-large-walk-in-closet next to it, connected via a door (Harm and Loren could already see it as a nursery), living room, dining room, kitchen,... the works. There was even one of those large plastic-wall swimming pools set into a huge hole dug into the ground. It was nothing fancy, but did it's job fairly well and one didn't have any of that paperwork hassle you have to go through for a regular, built pool. A small work shed was also in the backyard, together with 3 acres of land, some of it forest.

While it was private it was also close enough to neighbors to afford it some security. The property was surrounded by a high wall and Harm knew it would be no problem to install some state-of-the-art security systems into the house and on the property, together with motion detectors and everything else they'd need.

"It's perfect." Loren breathed, standing in front of the large bay window looking at the property spanning behind the house.

"Yes, it is." Harm agreed "But the question is, can we afford it? It must be pretty expensive."

"Actually, Commander and Lieutenant," piped up the realtor "You'll be surprised. The previous owner is an Admiral that retired a month ago and decided to move to some Pacific island. He instructed that if a prospective buyer is a member of the military that we should sink the price a bit."

That perked Harm and Loren's attention "So, how much are we talking about?"

The realtor named the price and after a quick conference with each other on how high loans they could get Harm and Loren made an offer.

"Great, we have a deal. Why don't we meet in my office to go through paperwork?"

Two hours later Harm and Loren signed the papers on their first house together. Looking at their signatures Loren frowned, it somehow felt wrong, it should've been Harmon and Loren Rabb. If she ever got another chance... she wouldn't turn him down the next time he'd propose marriage, even if he did say something stupid.

She didn't know it then, but due to events out of their control Harm would not ask her that question ever again.

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	81. Chapter 81

For those of you who don't know yet, I've started a poll and would be grateful if you joined in. Just go to my profile page, it's on top. Thanks for your lovely reviews, please keep them coming!

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Loren rooted through the freezer and after a few minutes gave up with a frustrated growl. Switching to the fridge she continued her investigation there as well, only to be forced to give up once again.

She closed the door of the fridge not bothering to do it quietly, even though it was two in the morning, and leaned her head against in, letting out another low growl.

This brought her eyes upon the large expanse of her stomach, now almost six months along. Though she knew she wasn't that large yet, that she would be getting much larger, she had to cringe at how big she felt. She'd always been a small woman, quite proud of her tiny, flat tummy and now she was starting to feel like a beached dolphin who had swallowed a ball that was preventing her from any serious bending. Soon she'd need Harm's help to get her skirt and shoes on if she wanted to get ready quickly and she dreaded the day when she'd be so big that she wouldn't manage to get out of the couch by herself without anyone's help.

But still... this was her baby, the product of her body and no matter how big she'd grow she loved it.

Even though she probably wouldn't be feeling that way when she'd be going through labor. Or that last month before giving birth.

She caressed her tummy tenderly and smiled. "I'm sorry, little one, but we don't seem to have what you want." The baby kicked in reply to her words. An idea appeared then and her smile widened. "But perhaps Daddy would be willing to go out and get it for you."

Turning around she waddled into the bedroom and then carefully levered herself onto the large bed and scooted slowly towards the large, hot-as-a-furnace lump on the other side. Harm was sleeping on his stomach, both of his arms in front of his head, under the pillow as his head rested on the mattress. It still amazed her how a person could generate such heat, but then again, Harm was a pretty large man and physically very active, so he had to have an excellent cardiovascular system.

She scooted towards him and called softly in a sing-song voice. "Harm."

Nothing.

She repeated and was gratified to see him stir. But then he was still once again. This obviously wasn't working.

She rose up on her elbow and carefully draped herself over his upper right back, stretching her left arm over his body and slipping it under it to anchor herself. Then she whispered into his ear. "Harm, honey, wake up."

He groaned something under his breath and she leaned closer to hear what he was saying. For some reason he thought he was still on a carrier and believed that someone was waking the wrong person and that a tuna was the one who's shift should've been starting. For a moment she was confused why a fish would be flying a plane, but then remembered he'd told her a few weeks ago that Tuna had been his wingman. Because there were more dire things to be dealt with she shoved away the thrilled feeling that she knew so much of his life already, things she hadn't known before and things very few people knew about him.

Like the fact that he always squeezed the toothpaste from the middle or that he wore boxers and not briefs, unless he was about to engage in some sports and stuff like that. Stuff that only the women who'd lived with him knew about him. Which meant...

... no other women. She was the only one who knew stuff like that, no other had ever known this about him. Not even LtCol MacKenzie who'd known him for 6 years.

For some reason Loren was thrilled, proud and quite smug to know all this.

Which is why she knew that what she was about to do would definitely wake him up.

Still not being able to believe she was about to do it, she whispered his name huskily and then slowly ran her tongue over his upper ear, finishing it with a soft bite and a sensual moan into his ear.

A few months ago she would've been horrified to do something like that to CDR Rabb, but she'd been living with him for almost 2 months by now and they'd become quite close. Besides, she was pregnant, had some very fun hormones raging through her body and was spending every night in bed with a very attractive man. What good was all this if she couldn't even give him one little bite on that delicious ear?

They'd committed themselves to each other anyway and were planning to spend the rest of their lives together and raise the baby, so they were practically married and she not only had the right to an occasional sexual overture, but also the obligation. That was her excuse and she was sticking to it!

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Beneath her Harm moaned and she felt the vibrations reverberate through her body. Groggily he lifted his head and it took him a few seconds for his vision to focus.

When he registered the weight across his upper back he turned his head and blinked up at Loren confused.

"Are you awake?" Loren asked innocently as if she had nothing to do with it.

"I am now." he glared at her, the meaning quite clear as to who's fault that was.

"The baby's hungry." she explained.

"The baby's hungry..." Harm repeated flatly "Then why don't you feed the baby?" it was obviously a rhetorical question as he plopped back down to go to sleep.

"We're out of what the baby wants." she said hurriedly before he'd fall asleep again "Can you go to the store?"

"Loren, did you eat dinner?" he asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Yes."

"Were you still hungry after it?"

"No."

"Then you're still well enough to wait until morning. Good night." he drifted off to sleep.

Loren stared at him in shock and disbelief "Harm! Come on wake up!" Now she was whining too and for added effect there were tears in her voice.

Really pathetic whining could be heard. If she wasn't having cravings her heart would've melted and she would've done anything for him. But she was having cravings and mood swings and thus her heart was as cold as steel.

"Loren, I've been away on an investigation for seven freaking days, spent 24 hours in transit non-stop on the way back home without sleeping because of one spoilt brat having a temper tantrum and then a baby wailing with her parents doing absolutely nothing about it, came home at midnight and fell asleep only..." he raised his head tiredly to look at the clock and groaned. "... only an hour and a half ago. PLEASE let me SLEEP!!!" The last word was roared out, with Harm being near tears himself.

There was a tense silence and Harm lifted his head when he felt her lift herself off his back. He wondered whether she was still there or if she'd gone back to the kitchen.. She was still there, but instead of crying, 'How can she turn that off and on so easily?' he wondered, her eyes were mere slits and he could swear there was steam coming out of her ears. Crap, it didn't look like he'd be sleeping anytime soon. He himself was ready to cry.

"HARMON RABB JUNIOR! I'M CARRYING YOUR BABY AND SLEEP IS ALL YOU CAN THINK OF!? I'M CARRYING A HUMAN BEING AROUND INSIDE MY OWN BODY, I'M AS BIG AS A DOLPHIN, I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH RETAINING FLUIDS, I CAN'T BEND DOWN ANYMORE, IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE MEN HAVE LAST CHECKED OUT MY ASS! I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SEX SINCE THIS ALL STARTED! AND YEARS BEFORE THAT. ON TOP OF THAT, THAT LAST TIME WAS REALLY SHORT AND DISAPPOINTING. AND NOW YOU WON'T EVEN GO TO THE STORE FOR SOME _**FOOD**_? YOU DON'T LOVE ME OR THE BABY! AND IF YOU THINK I'LL BE GIVING BIRTH TO ANY MORE OF YOUR CHILDREN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! I'M NOT EVEN LETTING YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!"

Harm just stared at her in a daze. She'd had severe mood swings before, but nothing like this. She was switching moods in a New Yorker minute right in front of him. One second crying and the next one yelling. And now back to crying.

He was still trying to absorb everything she'd screamed at him, from frustration over feeling unattractive, over not having had sex in six months - the last time being disappointing (which was waaay too much information about his brother), to the really shocking statements about him not loving her at all (since when did this become about romantic love?) and her threats that there was no chance anymore of her giving birth to more of his children (when did it suddenly OPENLY become more children and not just the one she was carrying?) and of course the really, really strange one... that she wouldn't let him touch her AGAIN. As if they'd ever had sex...

A pregnant Loren was definitely a VERY irrational Loren. And pretty forgetful...

Considering she'd forgotten they didn't have that kind of relationship. Unfortunately.

And then he was broken out of his daze by the kill shot, the one that broke him: "Don't you care about us at all?" she sniffed heavily, with large, sad eyes, big fat tears falling, and even bigger pout on her lips as she was holding her baby belly protectively.

Harm's heart broke, he couldn't stand to see her cry, even though he was absolutely certain she'd lost her mind.

He'd sign her up for psych eval in the morning, but right now he had a pregnant and hungry wife... oh right, they weren't married (though it certainly felt like they were, considering her accusations)... hungry Loren to feed.

Harm sighed heavily and gave in, realizing Loren wouldn't let him get back to sleep.

Slowly he got out of the bed and to his feet, wavering for a second before regaining his balance.

"Okay, what does the baby want?" he asked resignedly while getting dressed so he would do a food run at oh-dark-hundred. He glared at Loren, resenting her for being this chipper this late and guessed it must come from her sleeping so much because of the pregnancy. It had really screwed up her bio-rhythm.

"Pickles. Those tiny, cute ones. And chocolate and strawberries." she counted off her fingers, looking up at him eagerly. He was not surprised that she'd changed moods once again and was now looking up at him like an eager puppy.

Harm nodded and, grabbing his wallet and keys, made his way out the door with a tired step. As soon as he was awake enough he would need to rethink this arrangement, especially if it'd become Loren's habit to do this.

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	82. Chapter 82

Yup, I know I'm slightly exaggerating with the cravings, but this fic is also meant to entertain.

Thanks for your lovely reviews, please keep them coming.

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The first all-night-store was closed because of renovations and the second one had too steep prices.

Half an hour later while he was crusing around the city looking for all-night-stores Harm was starting to regret that he hadn't been willing to pay thrice the price for the items just so he could get back to sleep faster.

After looking for another 15 minutes he finally found an open store and pulled in. Thankfully they had the baby-(Loren)-requested food items and he was standing before the cashier with the old man giving him a commiserating look.

"Wife pregnant, huh?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah." Harm didn't bother correcting the man. Wasn't this after all the spirit of their arrangement? Wasn't what they had actually a marriage? It would count as one according to Common Law... Besides, isn't marriage only a legal contract to make official an agreement that already existed between him and Loren?

The man rang up his purchases and Harm paid for them. He trudged to his SUV and made his way home through the empty streets.

Just as he was half way there his phone rang.

_"Harm, could you please buy pistacchio ice cream a well? Thanks!"_ and she hung up.

At hearing that Harm wanted to do two things: to curse like an ordinary Seaman and to cry in despair, from exhaustion and at having to postpone his date with his warm, comfy bed.

He turned around and made his way back to the store. When the cashier saw him again he burst out laughing this time "She forgot to order you to buy something else, huh?"

Harm glared at him, but was too tired to make a good show of it.

"Welcome to fatherhood, lad. While the women take all the credit for bringing kids in the world, it's us men that do the important stuff that they never would, stuff that make it happen. We are the ones that insure their normal day-to-day operations, smooth running of their lives and pregnancies and make them less stressful. Have three kids myself and can honestly tell you that you'll be doing many more of these late night runs to the store. How far along is the Missus anyway?"

"Six months." Harm replied and was horrified to see the man wince.

"Oh man, you have a long rocky road ahead of you still. I have an advice for how to insure a good night's sleep, if you'd like to hear it."

"Okay, anything would help."

"Stock up on the stuff you wouldn't normally eat, especially on those weird combinations and pickles. You won't believe how many pickles women go through because of the cravings during pregnancy. Further, whenever she's angry at you about something, don't even think about arguing with her. Just nod and apologize, even if you don't know what it's about. And if she wants you to do something you think it's stupid and disagree with just say 'yes', but still do it your way. A hormonal woman can be the most dangerous thing in the world and for some reason they all get a pretty good aim during those fun months. I even heard one got off a murder charge just because of it. She murdered her husband, by the way."

Harm nodded "You know, I always thought that those guys who advised other men against fatherhood were idiots, but now I'm really starting to think they were on to something. Wish I'd listened to them."

The man nodded "Finding the right woman is like gambling. You can hit the jackpot, but you can also loose everything. The thing is, you never know how things will turn, what she'll be like in 20 years, if she'll still love you, if she'll still be married to you and if you'll still like her yourself, if she won't turn into someone you want to get away from. You can't even know if you are marrying the real her or she was just pretending to be this way to entrap you and shows her true colors only after the wedding, when it's too late. And if you divorce either way... well, a friend of mine makes 7500 per month after taxes and deductions. Has to pay 7200 for child support and alimony... Leaves him with only 300 per month. His wife was unemployed and he had to work entire days to support the family. His wife then demanded a divorce because he didn't have time for her... And then after the divorce, when he was giving his entire paycheck to her, his kid tells him he thinks of him as a deadbeat father... Even if you have disagreements it's better to do everything to make it work than live on the streets.

On the other hand I know couples who've been together for 30 to 50 years and still like each other and some of them are still in love, not just best friends what most old happy married couples are. They found the perfect people for each other and are happy together.

As I said, finding the right person is like gambling: you either win or lose. Only the future will tell and she is hidden in a fog. But the point is that no-one can exist alone for their entire life without suffering from that loneliness. We must all take a gamble if we don't want to live a lonely, empty life.

And I can guarantee the first time you'll see her holding your baby you'll forget all about this and the cravings and the midnight food runs and will want another as soon as possible."

"I sincerely doubt I'll want another one so soon." Harm replied, thinking back to Loren's mood swings and cravings, making his way out of the store having paid.

"Oh, but you will. Mark my words, son!" A few months later Harm had to admit the man had been right.

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By the time Harm got back home he was barely keeping his eyes open. Thankfully there was no traffic and no cops anywhere so he made it back safely.

Loren was waiting for him at the door and took the bags out of his hands and made her way to the kitchen as quickly as her waddle allowed. Harm was simply too wrung out to make any duck jokes.

When she began cutting up slices of bread, pickles and strawberries, his retreat to bed was temporarily halted, he was simply too curious as to what she was doing.

But then she suddenly covered the slice of bread with ice cream, pickles and strawberries, together with salami. Harm's stomach revolted and he made a quick dash for his bedroom to escape the horrible sight.

While undressing Harm remembered the cashier's words about pregnant women being dangerous and the still visible scar on Chegwidden's head where the iron had hit him and made a mental note to buy a new weapons safe the next day for his service weapon and ammo with a code Loren would never find out.

He was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

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PS: the case the old man told about is a real-life story, told about in her book by Katherine Young. When the man went to court for lower child support he was denied and ordered to continue paying. He had to survive with 300 a month and since the wife got the house he also had to pay the rent for his apartment... The wife got the house, the kids, all of his money, his entire paycheck every month and, to top it off, she and his kids hated him. All this because he'd spent his days at work to support them (and no, he never cheated)... There are many areas of society men are disadvantaged and always lose if the other side is a woman, in family, divorce and criminal courts especially.

REVIEW!


	83. Chapter 83

Well, was a little disappointed with only 2 reviews for the last chapter. What was up with that?

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The fierce knocking echoed through the apartment and Harm sighed, pulling up his boxers.

Giving Loren a kiss he left her lying in bed, naked and satiated, a thoroughly satisfied expression on her face.

Opening the door he was face to face with the barrel of a 44. He only had a moment to let the thought "Shit!" go through his mind before the gun went off and Harmon Rabb Jr. was no more.

Loren screamed as a masked woman stepped over the body of her lover and pointed a gun at her. The gun went off again. Then a SWAT team came through the door and shot the gunman.

Looking at the bodies lying on the floor one of the cops looked at the calendar and yelled, the apparently dead people joining him:

"April fools!"

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PS: yep, I'm evil I know *grin*


	84. Chapter 84

So, I hope you all had a good Easter. Cleaned this chapter up a little and am reposting it, since it seems during the craze last week many didn't notice it being updated.

Please keep it up with your reviews, they motivate me to keep posting.

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The day of reckoning had come.

His posse was waiting for him to say the word, but Harm was only standing there.

The sun rose in the west and he lifted his face to meet the big glowing orange ball's tendrils as they caressed his body.

He was truly magnificent, standing tall and proud, his muscles straining the material of the T-shirt he wore, the early morning sun's rays bathing him like a divine floodlight.

People were awed by this fantastic specimen of male, women swooned, some even fainted, and men took their hats down in front of him, as children, no matter how unruly, calmed down and took on reverent gazes.

His back stiffened and everyone held their breaths as this vision in flesh and bone slowly turned to let his gaze wander over his congregation.

He opened his mouth to speak, the silence complete as everyone waited for the words that would give them meaning in their lives...

... when someone farted like a pig.

Everyone glared at Mac who blushed deeply red and hid her face in her hands in embarrassement "Sorry." the buxom, lithe lawyer squeaked "I had a greasy burger for dinner last night."

Harm shook his head in resignation as their friends muttered to themselves.

"Alright, pople, lets get this show on the road!" he then yelled, startling everyone to come to attention "All the women go with Loren who will show you what to do, while us men start carrying the big stuff down to the truck." pointing to the big U-Haul truck in the parking lot.

And so the moving of Loren Singer and Harmon Rabb into their first home together began.

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Harm, Sturgis and Bud were painting the master bedroom, with Keeter conspicuously absent, when Loren waddled in to check on them.

Being in her sixth month now she'd been forbidden from doing any physical work, so she was limited to delegating everyone else's work. Which she did with great relish.

Stopping in the middle of the room she surveyed the work with the eye of a greedy landlord. Then her eyes narrowed.

"This isn't the right paint, Harm."

Harm stopped what he was doing and turned to his roommate, the rest of the guys stopping too to observe the show taking place before them "What do you mean? I bought white, just as you told me to."

"I told you to buy Arctic White, Harm!" Loren was holding her temper back. With the increasing of her waistline she'd also noticed her mood swings becoming more volatile and unpredictable. She just couldn't help it. For some reason, sometimes something completely insignificant made her fly off the hook.

Harm looked at her as if she'd gone insane "Yeah, white. And I bought white."

"This is egg-shell white."

"Yeah, white. And that one's white too. And the other one was also white, there are no differences."

Loren steamed "That one was Arctic White and the other one was Cloud White."

"What's the difference? I mean, they're ALL _**white**_!"

Loren threw her hands up in resignation and growled, before turning around and storming out of the room.

Harm looked after her, befuddled, then shook his head with the only explanation there was.

"Women!"

Bud and Sturgis nodded in agreement and commiseration.

"You can't live with them, you can't live without them." stated Bud, with Sturgis concluding "No matter what, you're screwed."

The men laughed and went back to work, privately wondering where the other one was.

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Thanks to their friends' help the work was done by evening that same day.

Everyone was gathered in the main room, taking up whatever place they could, some even on the floor. Harm wasn't looking forward to cleaning the floor of such a huge house the next day after everyone had been walking with shoes on everywhere.

Taking their orders he rang the nearest (and only) pizza place he knew of when he noticed his roommate was nowhere to be found.

"Jack!" he called for his friend and a hand rose up in the air from behind a couch. Seeing a dark head peeking out beneath the furniture Harm came to the conclusion his friend was leaning against the back of the couch.

"Yeah?"

Realizing just of whom he was about to ask this particular favor he changed his mind "Sorry, it's nothing."

"Okay, man."

Looking around, this time for Skates he found nothing "Skates!"

"Here!"

Again a hand rose behind the couch, this one slimmer and shorter, 3 feet away from Jack's head. Harm frowned, then shook his head of the thought of something happening between his two friends. No way, Skates wasn't the type for casual sex and Keeter definitely hadn't grown up yet.

Walking over to the the couch Harm found Jack and Beth leaning against it, conversing in hushed voices. Turning to his ex-RIO he gave her some money "Loren's MIA, I'm going to look for her. Can you take care of the pizza-boy if he comes in the meantime?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem." was the small woman's tired reply.

Harm nodded in thanks and moved off.

After a bit of searching he found his wayward woman standing in their bedroom, looking out the large bay window at their property, spanning behind the house.

Moving silently he slipped his arms around her and drew her into his body, releasing a content sigh when she snuggled further into him. Holding the woman he loved in his arms and looking out the window at their property Harm murmured in happiness "My kingdom."

A small eternity later they heard the doorbell ring and a female voice call out "I'm going!"

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Skates, flushed from the run from the couch to the door, opened the door, smiling brightly at the young man holding a tall stack of pizza boxes "Hi!"

The 20-something college student gulped at the brightness of the beautiful woman's smile "Hi. Your pizzas' are here." he offered lamely.

Beth smiled "Great, there are a lot of hungry people here."

The money exchanged hands while the boxes sat at Skates' legs.

The business part of the deal completed Bill decided to give a shot at the older-but-still-beautiful woman "I can help you carry those inside, if you want. Never saw you before on my rounds, you just moved in?" he probed.

Skates was about to answer him when Keeter came up from the back and answered Bill's first question "No need to, man, I'll take those." and put a possessive hand on Skates' hip in disguise of moving her slightly out of the way to pick up the boxes. Shooting the younger man a look he made sure the message was received and understood before he disappeared with the food.

Looking from the older burly man back to the gorgeous brunette Bill quickly said his goodbyes and left, knowing it would've been pointless to hang around. The brunette was already taken, whether she knew it or not.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: the farting thing... that was not meant as Mac-bashing or anything, but I just needed someone to make it more dramatic and unexpected. Think about it: isn't a woman with supermodel looks and who always holds herself aloof the last one you'd expect to do something so vulgar?

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	85. Chapter 85

After a holiday's hiatus we're back to the story, hopefully you readers are back as well. I trust you had pleasant holidays, made nice with the relatives and refrained from slugging that annoying uncle/aunt, :P

Thanks for your reviews, please leave more of them, they're my motivation for posting.

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One day in July Loren came home to find suitcases lining the foyer of their new house.

"Harm?" she called out. It was only a second before the man in question popped up and greeted her home with a smile and a kiss on her cheek. Delicious smells wafted out of the kitchen after him, making Loren salivate.

"Hi, how was your day?"

"Good, thanks, but what's all this?" she asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity as she waved a hand around.

"Well, we're going on vacation tomorrow." Harm explained casually.

"What!? But I don't have time off!" she exclaimed shocked.

"Don't worry, I arranged everything with the Admiral and got us three weeks off. I told the old man that if he doesn't give us time off then he will have our resignations on his desk within an hour."

Loren was horrified "You didn't! Please tell me you didn't say that to our CO!"

Harm's face was bland, scaring Loren witless, but after a second he cracked and let out a chuckle. Growling in exasperation Loren hit him in the shoulder.

"Where are we going anyway?" she at last asked resignedly.

One would think Harm was asking her to go fetch a piece of meat out of a lion's den, instead of going on vacation...

Harm decided she really did need an attitude adjustment. Or the same realization he himself had come to... vacations and time off aren't fun when you're single, because it drives in just how lonely your are. If you're at work you're still surrounded by people and with work occupying you, you can avoid thinking of how empty your life is. But now that they were together, a couple, even though neither had said as much, vacations sounded like heaven, since they wouldn't be spending them alone, but together. Neither would ever again be lonely, nor alone. Actually, with where they were going, this vacation is going to be not heaven, after all that place is just too boring, but paradise.

"Where are we going anyway?"

Harm noticed with approval that she was starting to show interest for the whole thing.

"Bahamas."

"Bahamas!?" she squeaked in surprise "For three whole weeks!?"

Harm shrugged "Well, more like two and a half."

"This is gonna cost us a fortune!"

To her surprise that didn't make Harm worry even a little. Carelessly he waved her concern off "Don't worry about it."

"But..."

"Really, Loren, don't worry about it, I've got it covered."

She would've been a fool had she kept protesting. Protesting the idea of spending almost three weeks in tropical paradise? Only an idiot would do that. "Okay, but there's one thing you should know."

"What is it?" asked Harm, finally showing some worry, she noticed.

"I don't own a bathing suit." Loren admitted, embarrassed. She hadn't had a need for it for the last several years, it wasn't as if she ever went on vacation...

"Yes, you do." Harm grinned.

She stared at him, apprehensive. "You bought me a bathing suit?" she asked to check, not sure she liked the sound of that "Should I be worried?"

Harm grinned rakishly and twitched his eyebrows. "I don't know. Should you?"

Loren mulled that over for a second, then directed a determined step towars their luggage, but Harm's voice quickly intercepted her. "Don't you trust me?" there was a playful whine to his voice that she didn't trust at all.

"I trust politicians more." she said dryly.

"Ouch." he groaned and clutched at his chest theatrically "That hurt, that really hurt. You wound me, woman."

She couldn't help but smile, especially since he'd deliberately grabbed at the wrong side of the chest in question.

"Come on, honey, I promise you'll like it." he then cajoled.

After a brief second of thought she gave in and stepped away.

"I can't wait to be back on a nice sandy beach, in shade of palm trees, just you in a bikini and me in trunks." Harm day-dreamed outloud.

Loren's eyes grew wide "Harm... you didn't say anything about it being a bikini."

"Um."

Seeing her interrogative stare he sighed "Okay, so I bought it for you," and rummaged in a duffel bag, bringing out three bright yellow triangles, connected with strings. Loren's eyes almost fell out at the size of the patches in question.

"You're expecting me to wear _this!?_" she yelled incensed "Did you fall on your head as a baby or something?"

He expected her to wear _this?_ There was barely anything there to this bathing suit, she'd be showing more than hiding. The bottom was a thong, with a very small crotch area, one that would require waxing to be worn. The new style, called a _microkini._

The top consisted of two small triangles, barely big enough to hide her nipples and perhaps some of the areolas, everything else was just strings.

This bikini hid only parts of the body that needed to be hidden and not a patch of skin more.

He didn't really think she would be prancing around dressed like that.

Did he?

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	86. Chapter 86

The best ass I've ever seen (without the spaces):

http://www. suzuki-gb. co. uk/uploads/gsxr600k8tail. jpg

http://www. suzuki-gb. co. uk/uploads/bike_gsxr750k8_15. jpg

Can you say 'perky'? *g*

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She was about to throw the bikini Harm in the head, when she noticed he was pulling something out from behind his back.

"That was just a gag." he explained, chuckling in amusement. Loren wanted to slug him. "This one is the real one."

The bathing suit he was now handing her was a bit, okay a LOT, more modest. It was still a bikini, but one in which she wasn't showing her ass and the patches of lycra covered her entire breasts.

But, still, a bikini?

She wasn't a 20-something with a perfect body and a small, flat tummy and slim waist to show off... She was a 30-something who had to sit through most of the day and, on top of that, was almost 7 months pregnant. Well, she did eat healthy and watched her calorie intake, which meant she'd had a pretty good figure, but the huge bulge was still there and it was still growing.

What Loren didn't know was the reason Harm had bought her a bikini instead of a one-piece was that he didn't know her size. And the last thing he wanted to do was buy a too big or too small a bikini and upset or hurt Loren.

When she realized she couldn't just crush him she was for the first time truly aware of how much she'd changed under Harm's influence, how much more considerate of other people she was now. Still, she wasn't really all that sure about wearing a bikini...

"I... I don't know, Harm." she hated to see that smile vanish off his face, only to be replaced by a confused frown "There's a lot more of me to see now than there was the last time I was on vacation and that was so long ago I can't remember when it was. I'm not sure about walking around wearing a bikini, looking like a beached whale." she whispered, looking self-consciously down at her large belly.

Sadness washed over Harm's eyes at the revelation she still couldn't see just how beautiful she truly was. "C'mere." gently taking her hand he led her into their bedroom, stopping her in front of the full-sized mirror he'd installed specially for her, knowing she'd appreciate it. Standing behind her, she let him undo the buttons of her uniform blouse and push her skirt down. She let him do it without even a thought to protest even though they weren't lovers. Had she been objective she would've realized just what a big statement of trust and show of giving herself to him fully, that was.

When he was finally done she was standing there in only her underwear. She looked away in shame, incapable of making herself watch just how ungainly and fat she'd become. But Harm wouldn't have that.

"Look into the mirror, Loren." he whispered into her ear and she without a conscious thought looked back at her reflected image, as if hypnotized by his voice.

Putting his hands on both sides of her baby mound his voice continued to bewitch her "This is our baby. You are not fat and you are not ugly. In fact, you are the most beautiful woman to have ever walked upon this planet."

She snorted in derision.

"You don't believe me?" he tilted his head "Then trust into what my body is telling you." he pressed his groin into her butt, making her gasp as she felt his unbearably hard thickness settle between her ass-cheeks. Her breathing instantly became laboured as her body responded in kind "See what you do to me? And this is just from seeing you like this, with your clothes still on. There is no reason for you not to wear a bikini and I feel privileged to be allowed to see you like that. Make no mistake, Loren, you are the most beautiful and hottest woman I know."

"Even more than Mac?" her voice wavered, her insecurities assaulting her.

"Even more than Mac." he assured "She has nothing on you." It was the sincerety and conviction in his eyes that finally convinced her. Harm recognized the signs of her finally accepting his words, but decided to still give her something to calm her apprehension "But if you still feel uncomfortable, let me just tell you that the house comes with a private, fenced-off beach."

Letting her go and stepping back, he turned her around, mesmerizing her with his stare "But I still hope you'll wear that bikini for me."

Seeing she was sold on the idea already, he decided that it would be best to lighten the moment a little.

"Besides, you _do_ know what the name Loren stands for, right?" Harm grinned.

Loren's look was wary. "No, I don't. What does it stand for?"

"Woman in yellow." Harm said it with a perfectly straight face and any other person would've believed him.

"Really?" her drawl was thick with sarcasm and skepticism.

Any other person, except for Loren who knew him well enough...

"No." he quipped and broke out laughing, which strenghtened when he felt her gag bikini hit him in the head, having been propelled by a certain pregnant blonde.

"Jerk." she muttered, but the harsh words were belied by her gentle, fond smile.

When Harm sobered she looked up at him in suspicion "What?"

His eyes focused on her and a shiver went through her body at the intensity in his eyes "Loren, you're a woman..."

Interrupting him she muttered "Glad you noticed."

He heard her, but knew she was in one of her moods, since he'd proved her just minutes ago he was _very _aware of just how an attractive woman she was "And I know you've gotten a little closer to the female contingent of the office in the last few months..."

"Are you going somewhere with this or are you just wasting our time?" she asked archly, but Harm ignored the tone, having learned to do that with one mercurial woman before Loren.

That made him stop.

Dear god, was he a glutton for punishment, drawn only to bitchy women? However, Loren HAD mellowed a lot since they'd gotten together and the chance she'd go all Mac on his ass was getting smaller by the day. Most of her snappish and hostile moods were nowadays only consequence of her pregnancy, anyway, so there was a chance she'd get better after giving birth. At least he hoped so.

"Have you noticed anything strange happen lately? Or overheard something that would explain why most of the women in the building, even the married ones, are looking at me as if they're barely holding themselves back from tearing my clothes off in the middle of the bullpen and jumping me?"

Loren's eyes lost focus as the memories of that day came back.

_10 DAYS AGO_

_With Harm being on an investigation in Norfolk, Loren was eating lunch in the courtyard by herself when she was approached by a group of women. Some she knew quite well, like Mac, Harriet, Carolyn Imes and a couple from the bullpen staff, while the rest were members of other departments. Unwilling to be the target of Harm's disappointed glance again at hearing she'd turned down another chance to make more friends, Loren decided to play nice, mentally wondering when had someone else become so important to her that she was willing to play nice with annoying people._

_After exchanging the usual pleasantries the typical female chatter ensued. Knowing that participating in it would be asking too much of her she settled for not chasing them away._

_"So, boxers or briefs?" was the question that startled Loren out of her quiet deliberation over what was happening to her._

_"Excuse me?" she looked up to see all of the women looking at her eagerly, just waiting for her to throw them a bone. Everything made sense now. Harriet, Imes and the two women from the bullpen staff were members of the group Loren had for years derisively called the Intelligence Corps, because they took their job of collecting and spreading rumors just as seriously as the spooks. That would also explain the to-her-unknown-women's presence. As for Mac... Well, she _had _heard Mac had eagerly participated in "girl talks" with Harm's former girlfriend, the late Jordan Parker, even discussing Harm's prowess in bed. With smug satisfaction Loren gloated over the fact that Mac would never experience Harm's prowess herself, on that Loren was willing to bet her half of the house._

_"What is the Commander's preferred choice of underwear? Boxers or briefs?" Loren briefly considered reminding Harriet of the fact that she was married, that it was inappropriate to want to know such intimate details of a man other than her own husband and that she was talking about a superior officer, but then realized it was pointless. Another point of consideration was also whether to throw her tea at them or to just stand up and walk away, but then a devil popped up on her shoulder and whispered into her ear._

_With an evil smirk she answered "Neither." and delighted in the gasps echoing around the table as she went back to eating her lasagna._

_A few days later, seeing the hungry looks that were practically undressing her man in the middle of the bullpen, Loren sorely regretted listening to her inner devil._

"Do you know something about that, Loren?" Harm prodded again.

Feeling that surge of jealousy and posessiveness anew, Loren nonetheless looked up at him and answered with as innocent an expression as she could get "No, sorry."

Harm sent her a suspicious look, clearily not believing her, but then regained himself, put the bikini on a chest of drawers and left the room to make dinner, chuckling all the way.

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	87. Chapter 87

Thanks for your reviews, please keep them coming, especially since this is such a long chapter.

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"LOREN!" Harm yelled up the stairs from his spot in the living room a day later, antsy to get to the beach and into the inviting warm water of the Gulf Stream.

"Yeah?"

"Hurry up! I've been waiting for you for half an hour already." he checked his watch again.

"You can go on ahead, I'll be just a moment longer."

Harm rolled his eyes. "Why can no woman ever get ready on time?"

Exasperated he swung the beach towels over his shoulder, grabbed the cooler with one hand and the foldable loungers with the other. Opening the living room glass doors he headed out of the house into the paradise beyond.

Stopping on the deck he took a lungful of the sea air and just enjoyed the feel of the sun and warm breeze caressing his bare skin.

It had been such a long time since he had taken a vacation, especially a vacation spent somewhere sunny, hot, with the sea just beckoning to him.

The irony of a sailor's life was that even though his entire life was deeply intervowen with the sea and he loved it with a passion, most of the time it was his enemy. The sea was a mistress to the sailor. A moody mistress, with mood swings worse than a 6-months pregnant radical feminist PMS-ing, and nearly as cruel.

While he spent his life on the water, a sailor _really _didn't like spending time _in _the water.

Contrary to occasions like this one.

Bahamas sure were beautiful and Harm was once again grateful for the fact that his Uncle had lived here and left him this house when he'd moved back stateside.

Enjoying the feel of the warm sand between the toes of his bare feet he walked to the beachline.

Setting the loungers up in the shadow of palm trees near the water he put the cooler with food and water next to them, then straightened up, a lustful look coming to his face as he stared ahead.

The warm ocean of the loveliest cerulean looked almost as sexy and as desirable as any lover he had ever had and he couldn't wait to be in it.

He was off like a bullet, his long muscular legs carrying him quickly over the surf and into the tepid water.

Letting out a laugh of joy and pleasure he threw himself into the warm ocean, enjoying the feel of the silky liquid caressing his body as he dove beneath the surface.

This is what he loved about time-off. Things were so much simpler and plainly _nicer _ on vacation. No Chegwidden, no briefs, no cases, no court, no Mac, no guns, no criminals, no problems,...

Nothing to think about, nothing worry about, just how to spend the day to get the maximum amount of pleasure and do things one wouldn't do back home.

Like, walk around in public half-naked, eat out half the time, openly check out beautiful skimpily dressed women who put everything they had on the show for everyone to watch, get drunk, howl at the moon,...

Floating on his back and letting the waves push him to the shore he just enjoyed the ride. When his head hit the warm sand of the beach he opened his eyes and was startled to find himself looking into a familiar pair of electric-blue ones from just a few inches away, the owner smiling gently with amusement.

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Loren had come finally come outside their house, the changing into her bathing suit having taken twice as long than ever before, and looked around for her roommate. Finally spotting him already in the water she just rested her eyes on him and enjoyed the sight.

The warm rays of the sun warmed her too-pale skin as she slowly waddled over to the water's edge, not taking her eyes off the man frolicking in the ocean. He truly was a sight to behold, tall and heavily muscular.

Since she'd met him over three years ago his physique had changed from the lean muscular into the boxer type of muscular, his muscles bulking up. It had done wonders for him. Too many tall men don't know how to truly exploit the gift they'd been given, thus staying slim, but Harm was one of the few who knew what to do with their size and with careful diet and a lot of exercise he had turned his body into a tower of muscles. He was a behemoth and could easily intimidate anyone he wished with just his size. While other big men always made her feel apprehensive and a little afraid, Harm made her feel safe, and it was a feeling she enjoyed. She knew he'd protect her with everything he had in him, he'd already proven that, and would never let any harm come to her, pun not intended.

Still, next to him she nowadays felt like a Plain Jane. A fat Plain Jane to be exact, even though Harm had told her numerous times she wasn't fat, just pregnant, and was beautiful to him. But with growing noticeably bigger each week she was having a hard time battling her insecurities, as well as her constantly-shifting center of gravity. Harm's shows of appreciation of her looks, like the one the previous day at home, did a good job to bat it down, but after a while her issues came back. She knew they'd stop only after she'd given birth and got her old figure back.

Seeing he had given himself over to the waves she calculated where he'd land and lowered herself down into the sand.

It was just a matter of minutes before he was unloaded in front of her and she watched with open amusement his eyes open wide upon seeing her.

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"Hi." the hot blonde kneeling in front of him said.

"Finally." Harm commented, but when he rolled onto his stomach and then up on his knees, he lost his capability of speech. He was sure he wouldn't be able to get up on his feet even if he tried, his knees were too weak.

'Good gods, she's really wearing the bikini!' was the only thought in his mind as his eyes took her in fully and he nearly choked on his tongue.

The Blond Goddess Of Wet Dreams kneeling before him was wearing the gag bikini he'd teased her with.

And boy, was he ever glad he'd been regulating her Nutella intake and making her exercise regularly!

True, her waist line had completely disappeared by now, replaced by a large baby mound, but her breasts have grown bigger, straining the strings of the bikini. The thick hard nipples were too long for the miniature triangles of lycra and with their length they were occupying the milimeters of the cloth that had been supposed to cover her areolas, thus leaving her now-dark-brown circles on display. Harm's mouth watered, as his breathing got faster and blood flow went south. He barely stopped himself for removing that farse of a top and taking those delicious-looking peaks into his mouth.

Otherwise she still had the same figure as before, same lovely legs, thin arms, tight little ass and graceful neck. Even her large belly didn't have even an ounce of fat on it, just strong, supple skin stretching tightly over an overfilled womb.

He twisted his neck, trying to see what the thong was putting on display, but she moved to block his view, sending him a stern glare.

Oh, okay, no looking. He didn't mind, since the view from the front was amazing in itself. For the sake of his sanity and safety, lest Loren tear something off they'd might need later on, he kept his eyes above her belly button.

This was probably the first time since he'd been a teenager that he was having real trouble reigning himself in. All he wanted to do, all his body was demanding of him to do, was to take that microkini off with his teeth and make wild, passionate love to her right there and then on that beach, in the middle of the day.

But was it the right time for this? No, it wasn't. It could never be just sex for either of them, they were far too gone for that, the feelings were simply too strong for them to ever entertain the mere idea of sex without love. They'd first have to make that final step, admit to each other the feelings they were sharing, before making their relationship sexual.

And right that moment, with him laying flat on his belly, mouth gaping open as he took in every milimeter of her naked skin as she was kneeling before him, wasn't the best way to do it. If he right then said he loved her, she'd never take him seriously and would be hurt. If he'd ever try to say it again later on, she'd think he was just trying to get into her panties. Now was not the right time to try to start a relationship.

But Harm was sure he would do it while still on this vacation. After all, what best place for love declarations than one of the most romantic places on the planet?

He had to get away for a few minutes to cool down before he did something they'd both regret later on. A cold shower was a good way to go, if for nothing else than to at least bring down the hardness he'd felt immediately inflate the second he'd taken a look at Loren's choice of clothing.

Loren giggled at the stiff way Harm rose from the sand, but the giggling stopped, replaced by wide, dark, lustful eyes when she caught site of the bulge straining the material of his trunks, doubly obvious with the way the wet material clung to him. Oh, she wasn't a stranger to his manhood, having woken up many times to a hardness againt her butt, but feeling something is different than seeing it, it looked even bigger than it had felt.

Looking ruefully down at himself he recognized this was something a cold shower wouldn't make go away, he needed to take matters into his own hands. Literally.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." he muttered to Loren who, upon catching up to his intentions, was overcome with giggles again. Harm rolled his eyes and tried to walk away with as much dignity as he could. He didn't get far.

"Um, Harm?" came suddenly the sheepish voice from behind.

"Yes, Loren?" he turned around and looked at her oddly, when he saw her still kneeling in the sand.

She looked at him, cheeks aflame "Can you help me up?"

He had to bite his tongue hard to hold in the chuckle threatening to errupt, sure she wouldn't appreciate it.

Loren glared at him, instinctively knowing what was going on. He pulled her up with a little too much force and with a soft 'Ooof' Loren collided with him gently. She shivered at the feel of his hardness twitching against her belly and felt her face flame. Without a word they both went back into the house with the intention of doing something about their arousal. By themselves.

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It was two weeks into their vacation when Harm decided the time was right to make the final move.

He'd just brought Loren the pickles/strawberry/whipped-cream mix she was craving and settled himself next to her on the wicker love seat on the veranda. Immediately they both reached out for each other, snuggling into a tight embrace, with the intention to sit that way for the rest of the evening, just watching the surf come in and go back out.

With the woman he loved by his side in this magical place where everyday worries seemed so remote, Harm knew it was the right time "Loren, I love you." he said with feeling.

When no answer came he looked down, feeling pain in his heart. Loren, until now too submerged into her food to hear anything, felt him looking down at her and looked up. Looking down at his beloved he was faced with blue eyes clouded in confusion "Did you say something, Harm?" she querried, her lips ringed with the cream.

It was too late though, Harm's courage had already deserted him again and he shook his head defeated. Loren shrugged and went back to her food.

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	88. Chapter 88

And this is the chapter you've been anxiously waiting for, for so long, the love confrontation.

Huge thanks to **DD2, Rittanicus, michelle UK, qqball, mariposa 1** and **Starman800** for their reviews.

Also, if there's an Australian reading this, I'd be really grateful if you could refer me to a website that sells genuine Australian slouch bush hats (the ones that pin the brim up at the side) - the real ones, not the touristy ones, thanks.

Stay tuned and leave lots of reviews so I'll know what you think.

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"That was amazing yet again, Harm." Loren complimented as she wiped her mouth with a napkin and looked him up and down assessingly. "You sure you don't have a feminine side?"

Harm was just sipping his mineral water and her question made him start choking.

Loren rolled her eyes at the theatrics and got up slowly to thump him on the back.

"It's okay, thanks." he stopped her after a few hits, having the feeling she was having too much fun hitting him. "What did you mean with the feminine side?"

Loren took her seat again. "Well, you're such a wonderful cook, that I had to wonder if there's not something of a woman in you..."

"Why would I have something of a woman in me if I can cook well?" he asked bewildered.

"Well, it's a known fact that cooking comes with being a woman." she replied cockily.

"Is that so?" asked Harm, enjoying their banter. "Why then am I always the one doing the cooking in this family? And why are and always have been ALL the best chefs in the world men?"

Loren rolled her eyes and muttered. "Chauvinist pig."

"Militant female supremacist." Harm fired back, grinning.

They both knew the words were meant only in jest, so neither took it seriously or felt hurt. He and Mac had had something like this years ago before the jests had turned into barbs and insults and began to hurt.

He and Loren been engaging in a lot of such light-hearted banter since Bahamas and Harm studiously kept ignoring the fact that psychologists would call it a form of foreplay. The time away in paradise on Earth had brought them even closer even with his failed attempt at telling her he loved her. There'd been a subtle shift in their relationship during their vacation, they were now acting as every other romantically involved couple. With the exception of admitting love to each other and having a sexual relationship, that is.

"Jerk." Harm was surprised to notice her face was getting closer.

"Little miss prissy." he was even more surprised to realize it was him eliminating the distance.

"Moron." she breathed, affected by his nearness and the look in his eyes, they were just inches away.

"Idiot." the words were sighed softly as their noses bumped.

Entranced by each other's eyes they couldn't tear themselves away. Ice-blue locked on sea-blue, unable to look away from the mesmerizing look there.

Finally lips touched, shyly, then moved away. Only to come together again with passion as fire consumed them. Loren moaned as Harm's tongue prodded at her lips and she eagerly allowed him passage, rubbing her own against his. Their bodies pressed as close as they could with her tummy in the way. Loren took Harm's thigh between her own and started rubbing her aching, boiling core against it.

Things were getting hot and heavy and Harm began leading her towards their bedroom, taking off her shirt while her hands were working on his own feverishly.

Suddenly Harm's lips felt cold and he opened his eyes to the sight of Loren looking at him with horror over her actions.

"Loren?" he tilted his head alarmed, the look in Loren's eyes reminded him too much of a deer about to bolt.

"This didn't happen, Harm." she spoke quickly, her face still pale, voice shaking.

"But..."

"Please, Harm." she interrupted.

He looked away, hurt, his lips still burning from her kiss and knew that there was no way in hell he could ever deny it's existence.

He knew that this had been building steadily through the last three months. Scratch that, this had been building since the moment they'd met or even since their ancestors had been conceived. The only thing that had happened in the last few months of their cohabitation was that the gears that would forever make them one, had finally started moving. They were both attractive members of the opposite sex who were living together, were in a committed relationship, best friends (it came with the job of raising a child together and living together) and family. They liked each other and, more than that, trusted each other and treated each other with the respect they felt for each other.

This baby was only the catalyst for them finally fulfilling the destiny that had been decided for them a long time ago. On some deep subconscious level Harm had always been somewhat aware of this and now that the time had come he had also come to realize it on a conscious level.

Thus he knew that this relationship should never be handled as his and Mac's had been, burying the moments beneath tons of denial, letting any progress be erased because of her issues and denial to commit herself to anyone. He and Loren should not be allowed to screw this up, what they were meant to be to each other, their future, was more important than any insecurities either might have, himself included.

He caught up to her in the bedroom. Grabbing her arm he spun her around, looking at her with an intensity, fire and feelings she'd never seen before from any man.

"No! This will not be ignored, Loren. I made this exact mistake with Mac and it's one of the factors that destroyed what we had. This kiss **happened **and we can't shut our eyes and pretend that it didn't. What we feel for each other is happening and it's real and we must **not **stick our heads into the sand and ignore it! This isn't lust or sex for either of us, it's more and we both know it. I **love **you and I **know **you love me too."

She averted her eyes, not being able to stand the emotion in his voice and eyes. He'd spoken from his heart, from her heart as well, saying all the words she'd wanted to hear for a long time, for years in fact, but she hadn't known that until now. Yet she'd been burnt too badly before to drop her walls so easily, even with Harm, who she knew would never hurt her intentionally. But people hurt each other unintentionally too...

"Or have I been just imagining things and it only goes one way?" Harm asked after a long pause, with a voice that still betrayed his dread and vulnerability, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

Well, this was the make-it-or-break-it moment, one Loren had always dreaded. She could follow her first instinct to run and hide, denying her growing feelings for the man before her and most probably destroy everything they had, or she could follow the creed of the armed forces all over the world, stand tall and proud and face it head on, telling the fear to go to hell.

The first option would mean that she wouldn't expose herself to be hurt, but while it wouldn't destroy Harm's commitment to the baby, it would still ruin every progress they'd made towards a romantic relationship and the emotional closeness they'd achieved. It would also mean that Harm would pull back, never again daring to expose himself to her, much less make any sort of overture towards her, which was something she definitely didn't want, and that he would only be in this just for the baby anymore, not for her. Loren would stop being a qualifier in the equation and Harm's heart would forever be closed to her.

The second option would have her exposed to a possible future hurt and heartbreak, it would tear her walls down forever in regards to this man, but it could also bring her immense and life-long-lasting happiness, security, love and commitment from this wonderful man that many a woman wanted for her own.

Looking at this dear man, laying himself so open and exposed for her, Loren was caught between a rock and a hammer.

Which option was scarier and which one would win?

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**Reviews are love...**


	89. Chapter 89

Huge thanks to **carolf, zeilfanaat, michelle UK, DD2, qqball **and **blubachat2** for their reviews.

Stay tuned for more and keep reviewing.

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"You are found guilty of all charges. The sentence is 50 years hard labor in maximum security prison."

The judge hit the gavel and rose, leaving the room.

The room was suddenly filled with noise, from cheers over the sentence to sounds of disapproval of those who still believed the accused innocent.

The guards came over to the defendant to take them away, while the persecutor, CDR Harmon Rabb, Jr. stood and started packing his briefcase.

His manner was professional, but those who knew him could recognize the exhaustion and stress in every line of his face. The past two weeks of trial had taken an immense toll on him, making him seem ten years older than his real age.

He was so immersed into his own thoughts as he automatically put the papers into his leather satchel that he never noticed the short scuffle behind him until the cold metal muzzle of a pistol was pressed into the back of his neck.

He froze, only now becoming cognizant of the screams around him and the horror in the eyes of the person straight across from him.

"Anybody even breathes and his brains will be splattered all over this room!" he recognized the voice of the defendant, the weird undertone of it further making his hair stand on end.

"Turn around!" that was meant for him and he obeyed, slowly turning to face the threat who had in the meantime moved slightly away, out of the reach of Harm's arms.

"Not so mighty now, are you, CDR!?" the cackle and the manical glint in the LT's eyes made Harm seriously worried. LT Lawrence obviously didn't expect an answer.

"How does it feel to be the one waiting for the verdict, CDR? Your life is now at my mercy and _I _decide who's to live and who's to die!"

The sharp gasp drew their attention and the LT grinned even more madly. "Ah, the little woman! I've heard a lot about you, LT Singer. The brig is full of information on you and the CDR, you two are the hottest gossip."

Loren was staring at the tableau before her with terror in her wide blue eyes. It was becoming quite clear what she stood to lose at the hand of this madperson. Instinctively she brought her hand down to her belly where the baby was kicking up a storm as if she knew her father's life was in peril.

Unfortunately the LT's eyes had followed her hand and literally glowed with glee at the sight of the pregnancy.

Suddenly the LT turned the aim off Harm and onto Loren with a lightening speed, too fast for Harm to do anything. He was too far away from the crazed officer to disarm the LT. He saw the remaining guard's finger twitch, but shook his head slighty and the man pulled his finger back, but kept aiming.

The LT faced Harm and he shuddered at the menace and hate in the face staring at him. It was obvious the LT was completely insane and a crazy person is capable of anything.

"You took my freedom! And I'll be taking from you what you most treasure." what the LT meant was completely obvious, as the gun was pointing at Loren's belly, where their unborn child was.

He saw the finger start contracting. "NO!" Harm shouted and with a speed he'd never before knew exploded into action, throwing himself into the line of fire just as the LT pulled the trigger.

The shot, followed by an exclamation of pain, and a thud of body hitting the floor, was echoed by another shot and the sound of another body falling.

A tenth of a second later screams of horror sounded throughout the room, as everyone stared at the tragic scene before them.

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Loren sat watching as the judge declared the sentence.

She rose with difficulty out of her seat when the judge left, her seven months pregnant body having reduced her agility and mobility to barely existent.

She was so big that Harm had expressed the belief that she was carrying twins and not just one baby, but the doctor had reassured them that it was only one, with a LOT of birth water in Loren's womb.

She'd been pulled off investigations and cases as the Admiral had decided she wasn't allowed any more traveling, especially not by plane. Therefore she now spent all of her time on administrative duties, filling paperwork, being assigned to light duty and was under orders not to lift even a light box, but to ask someone else to do it.

Basically she hated it, but this was the best deal she'd gotten.

The Admiral's first decision had namely been for her to stay at home on medical leave for the rest of her pregnancy, after which she'd start her maternity leave. Loren privately suspected, something Harm agreed with her, that their CO's motivations for this was that he was trying to avoid having yet another woman give birth in his office.

Ellen had wanted to put her on bedrest upon finding out what exactly her duty job consisted of and the travel it entailed, but Loren had protested loudly, rebelling.

In the end it had been decided for Loren to be on light duty until she was to give birth.

So, she spent all of her time bored to death, except for the times she spent observing Harm in court. Supposedly learning new tricks, but secretly enjoying the chance to observe him without feeling like she needed an excuse for it.

It happened too fast for her to even issue a warning to Harm. Suddenly the defendant turned and somehow relieved one of the guards of his gun, shoving the man away, cocked and removed the safety, pointing it on Harm.

When the LT made it known that Harm was to die Loren let out a sob, bringing the attention to her.

She couldn't hear anything, her world had shrunk to the crazed officer, the gun and Harm. All she knew was that she was about to die together with her unborn child. The only thoughts she had were regrets for opportunities missed and the knowledge their death would destroy Harm.

Then suddenly Harm threw himself in front of the gun just as it went off and she let out a blood-curdling scream as she saw him fall lifelessly to the floor, thick crimson liquid already pooling around his body.

The next second another shot was heard, but Loren could no longer register it, her entire world consisting of solely the man who had stolen her heart so stealthily and who had still jumped in front of a bullet meant for her, even though she'd broken his heart so cowardly.

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**Reviews are love and they'll make me update faster.**


	90. Chapter 90

And this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Sorry to have kept you waiting for more than a year, but as I warned at the start of the fic already, this was always supposed to be a long one. My own Illiad. And the way Harm and Loren would get together was determined and written from the start, even before I started posting.

Huge thanks to **zeilfanaat, blancowolf, Lynnp, carolfd, Rittanicus, qqball, DD2, michelle UK, mariposa1 **and **camile** for their reviews of the last chapter.

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Over the pounding of the blood in her ears she was dimly aware of a terrifying scream. A scream so blood-curdling and full of anguish that she had to ask herself who would scream like that, what could've happened to cause such anguish and terror in someone and who was it that had been this affected by the events. It only then occured to her that she was hearing herself screaming.

"HAAAARMMMM!!!!!"

With a sob she threw herself at the still form on the ground, ignoring the dying body nearby, unhearing the watery shallow breaths as blood was flooding the LT's lungs as the officer struggled to take her final breaths.

Unaware of hot tears streaming down her face in torrents Loren threw herself down on her knees by Harm's body and with trembling hands reached out to touch him.

In just a few seconds it would turn out whether she'd lost him forever or not, whether her world had fallen apart and her life had stopped having any meaning at all to it.

She knew she could pretend nor deny it no longer. She loved Harm, was in love with him. She loved him more than her own life, more than anyone else. Maybe it was wrong of her to feel this way, but if she lost the baby she knew she'd survive with Harm there by her side, but if she'd lost Harm she'd never recover, would die of a broken heart soon after.

Even worse: she'd have so many regrets.

She could still remember the moment she'd seen in his eyes his heart break when she'd rejected him those 15 days ago, the painful way in which he'd taken his labored breaths upon her declaration, the slump in his shoulders and pain in his beloved features. She'd put that pain and heartbreak there and the pain she herself had felt upon doing that to him had surprised her more than she'd expected.

And now... now if he was dead she'd have so much to regret: breaking Harm's heart, wasting time on insecurities and cowardice, never making love to him, never getting to feel those big gentle hands move sensually over her body and his body moving strongly inside her, she'd never get to have him with her as she gave birth, never get to have him get her pregnant again, this time with his child, never get to grow big with his babies and old with him. Never get to tell him she loved him, loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone, more than she loved her own life.

With a shaky finger she touched his neck.

Nothing.

No pulse.

Just as another primal scream, the scream of a mourning female, of a widow screaming in anguish and sadness at losing her mate, was tearing it's way up her chest she felt it.

A beat.

At the edge of her finger.

He was alive.

She repositioned her fingers and was relieved to find it, fast, yet strong. In her anxiety she'd been searching in the wrong spot.

He was still alive and her world had not ended, she still had so much to look forward to, to not to regret.

A guard kneeled next to her and helped her turn Harm on his back. Gently, but quickly she checked him for bullet holes, but could luckily find only the one in his right shoulder. Then he moaned and his eyes began to flutter. Then Loren was faced with most beautiful color in her entire universe as she was looking into Harm's aquamarine pools, clouded in pain.

She lifted his head and bent as far as she could with her pregnant belly in the way, hiding her face in his hair and letting her tears flow, many of them dropping down on his neck.

A second later she felt his left arm go around her awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Harm." she whispered, too taken by her emotions to do anything but "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I ran once again. I can't deny it anymore and I can't hide from it any longer. I love you too." a sob broke out of her and Harm felt her body shudder with the strength of her emotions.

"I love you." Harm whispered "I was so afraid she'd shoot you. I asked you only because I love you."

The last two weeks had been truly awful, the most miserable of her life. When Loren had denied having any feelings for him Harm had been hurt, and had pulled back as a result. As Loren had predicted, they had not gone back to their relationship of before that fateful evening, but they'd gone back to square one, to the day she'd arrived at HQ. He'd even moved out of their bedroom and into one of the guest rooms and avoided Loren as much as possible. He'd been licking his wounds and also trying to preserve his own sanity, for every sight of her had hurt him terribly. Loren had cursed herself over her cowardice every second of these past two weeks while the sadness, misery and stress, coupled with the one from this trial, had begun to show more and more on Harm. It had taken a near-death experience to finally break them out of it, to stop the stalemate and to force Loren to admit her feelings, to fix them up, to heal them.

They were both aware of their audience standing around, whispering among themselves, but they didn't care. Well, not enough at any rate.

It took a few seconds for Loren to realize what he was talking about.

The proposal.

He'd asked her to marry him not because he didn't believe her capable of providing for herself and their baby if something happened to him, as she'd believed had been his motives, but because he loved her.

He'd loved her even back then...

And didn't that realization break her heart. So much hurt, so much pain and awkwardness during the last few months could've been avoided had she listened to his eyes and heart and not his words. So much could've been avoided had they been as brave about love as they were about mortal danger.

"I love you so much and I almost lost it when I though I've lost you. For these terrible few seconds I could think only of my regrets. Now that I've received a second chance I don't want any regrets. So, Yes."

"Yes?" he furrowed his brow and almost hissed at the pain in his shoulder. This was too important to him, too important to let some flesh-wound interrupt it.

"Yes, we kissed. Yes, I love you. Yes, I want us to sleep in the same bed again. Yes, I want us to make love every chance we get. Yes, I want to raise our child with you. Yes, I want more babies with you. Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She moved so she could look into his eyes.

Loren touched his cheek tenderly and almost melted when he turned his head and kissed the inside of her wrist. Then she whispered softly, the words she spoke with reverence, the words she'd waited to say to him for years, for her entire life, but had not known. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Slowly they leaned towards each other and their lips met in a tender kiss, causing the room to explode with noise.

In the back of the room the physically-gorgeous olive-skinned woman who'd just arrived smiled sadly, if regretfully, and turned back around, leaving the courtroom. She'd rushed there when she'd heard the gunshots, but now she had no reason to be there. Once it would've been she who'd rush there and check on Harm, making sure he was alright, but that was no longer her job.

It was no longer her privilege, for she had thrown it away with her behaviour.

Now it was another woman's job and privilege.

Only now did she mourn the numerous opportunities Harm had given her over the years, the opportunities she'd thrown away because at the time she'd been unwilling to accept nothing less than Harm's complete capitulation. Now her time as Harm's number one priority had officially passed and another woman had taken that spot. Mac just hoped Loren would appreciate and take better advantage of it than she herself ever had. Those two obviously had something beautiful and strong developing and she wished them only the best in their future life together.

Yet, regrets for wasting time on playing games, keeping Harm close enough to keep him interested and give her confirmation she was still desirable yet far enough to keep him from getting to close, and going to other men when she could've had Harm all along, would follow her for the rest of her life.

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PS: now you know why I wrote in a chapter way back that Harm wouldn't have a chance to propose to Loren again... since she now accepted that first proposal.

**Reviews are love.**


	91. Chapter 91

Sorry for late posting, but RL takes it's toll with no regard to one's wishes.

Huge thanks (in chronological order) to **DD2, Rittanicus, mariposa1, zeilfanaat, michelle UK, carolfd, Lynnp, qqball and camile **for their reviews of the last chapter.

From now on it's mostly smooth sailing. Mostly.... *evil laugh*

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Finally the medics arrived together with a Doctor who, with one of the medics, quickly went to check on the LT and then just shook his head, declaring the time of the woman's death. All present had been able to see that she'd been dangerously insane and maybe this was the best sentence for her possible and also some justice for her victims.

The other medic moved to check on Harm and for a second just stood there, not knowing what to do while the apparent, bleeding victim was... bleeding on the floor, while being obviously quite content kissing the beautiful, heavily pregnant woman.

But his job came first, before the romantic interlude, and he gently interrupted the couple.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to step back so I can do my job."

Loren complied, but not without protest and grumbling.

The medic soon had the CDR bandaged up and on the way to the ambulance so they could take him to Bethesda. The still-there crowd parted before them, whispering could still be heard.

They got to the ambulance and as he was about to close the back door the woman wanted to get in. "I'm coming with you."

"Are you the CDR's wife?" there are regulations about that and only close family (spouses or parents or siblings) can ride with.

"No, but she will be." Harm smiled at her. "Soon."

Loren looked at the medic peevishly, put her hands on her non-existent waist and demanded. "Just who's baby do you THINK I'm carrying!? The Santa's!?"

This provoked a gentle, tender smile from Harm, no matter how much Loren had changed towards him, she was still the same to strangers and still had the sarcastic and biting wit he loved so much.

Okay, the baby wasn't his biologically, but he would be the one raising it with her and _he _would be the one called Daddy. _He _was marrying it's mother and _he _would be listed as the father on the birth made it his baby.

It was clearly obvious that Loren would be an amazing mother, being so protective of her family, and Harm pitied anyone who'd even think of endagering her family. General John J. Pershing once said that the most dangerous thing in the world is a Marine with a rifle. He'd been wrong and terribly at that. The most dangerous thing in the world is Loren protecting her family.

Rather than argue Brian held the door open and helped her inside, closing it behind her and taking a seat himself.

Then the big olive green vehicle with a large red cross in a white circle pulled away and turned towards Bethesda.

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"I'm fine! I told you I'm fine!" Harm growled in frustration at still being held up in the ER.

"Commander, you've been shot!" the doctor snarled back at him.

"So that's what that prickle was?" sneered Harm sarcastically. "And I thought it was just a mosquito..."

"Very funny, Commander, now..." chastised the doctor when he was cut off again.

"Sorry, Doc, but there will be no 'now'. I'm getting out of here right now. I'm evoking my Against Medical Advice right." Harm was fed up. They'd been keeping him there for 2 hours by now, hours he could've spent with Loren.

"But..."

"No 'but'. You've taken the bullet out, bandaged me, did everything you can to prevent an infection, plied me with anti-biotics and so on and so on. You've done everything you could for me, right?"

"Erm... welll..." stuttered the good doctor.

"Isn't that right, Doctor?" prodded Harm. "Look, Doc, I don't plan on causing problems for you, I just want to see my fiancee and our baby. I've been stuck here for two hours now and you've done everything you could. I just want to get back to my fiancee and start planning our wedding."

With a sigh the doctor gave in and signed his release papers. Before letting Harm go he gave him a bottle of painkillers, a week's medical leave and then on light duty until his rehab was finished.

Armed with a sling and a bottle of painkillers Harm happily strode out of the ER.

Coming into the front hall where the reception desk was located Harm took a second to locate his beloved. They hadn't allowed her into the ER with him and he was missing her something awful. He didn't have to look long to find her.

She was propped low on the reception desk with both hands in a stance he knew was meant to intimidate and he could tell she was railing on the clerk there with a ferocity only few have experienced before. This was Loren in her lionness mode and even the bravest men wet their pants when she was on a roll.

Beside the desk a guard was standing, looking helpless. Harm guessed the clerk had called him when Loren hadn't allowed them to dismiss her easily and had demanded explanation for what was taking him so long. It was clear the armed guard had no clue what he should do.

Not only was the person he had been ordered to escort out an officer, but also a heavily pregnant woman, part of the reason he hesitated physically removing her from the premises not wanting to hurt her or the baby. What was even worse, much much worse, was that she was a JAG, a lawyer.

He knew that insignia well and you don't cross a lawyer, especially not a concerned pregnant lawyer, wanting to know the status of her husband.

Suddenly Loren froze and straightened stiffly. Hesitantly turning around her eyes instantly and precisely met his across the long, crowded hall.

The surprise turned to happy, yet tearful smile and she set off in his direction as fast as she could, given her condition, forgetting completely about her victims. Peripherally Harm noticed the guard and the receptionist deflate in relief before he started off towards his waddling fiancee.

His longer stride and lack of an unborn baby had them meet before she'd put behind her even a quarter of the distance and for a few seconds they just stood a foot apart, looking deeply into each other's eyes.

The stalemate ended when Loren threw herself into Harm's arms, sobbing softly. His arms closed around her, together with his eyes as he leaned his cheek on the crown of her head, just soaking in the feeling of her alive and well in his embrace. He held her until she calmed down and pulled back, looking up at him with her blue eyes flashing. Grabbing his lapels she dragged his face closer to hers.

"Don't you EVER do that to me again!" she ground out. Her eyes were blue steel and Harm shivered at the look in them. Whether in arousal or fear he didn't know, quite probably from both. "Don't ever do that again or I swear to god I'll kill you myself."

A smirk lifted Harm's lips. "Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?"

In response Loren started bawling again and hid her face in his chest. While she thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant, ever since she and Harm had gotten together 4 months ago, she really hated this crying at everything. It's hard to try to intimidate someone when they've seen you cry because of a stupid detergent commercial... Or even when he surprised her with her favorite ice cream. Or the time he gave her a necklace with the letters M O M on it - she'd cried so hard then his T-shirt had been completely soaked. So, no, intimidate him was the last thing she could do. Which was just as well because he wouldn't try to either.

Glaring up at him fiercely, once the current jag had passed over, she demanded. "Promise me, Harm. Promise me you'll never do something like this again. Promise."

His eyes wouldn't meet hers and a sad smile took over his lips. "You know I can't promise that, honey. Just as you wouldn't be able to if I wanted you to. We love each other and we'd do anything to protect the other, even give our lives to make sure nothing happens."

She subsided at that, acknowledging he was right. That's what love is about, someone else's happiness and safety being more important to you than your own.

With his finger under her chin Harm brought her eyes up to meet his. "Did you mean what you said? About loving me, about wanting to marry me?"

She grew shy then and looked down, biting her lip. "Yes, I did." Finding courage she looked up to lock gazes "I meant it then and I mean it now. And I'll mean it for the rest of my life. I love you, Harm. Somewhere along the line I've fallen in love with you. You're so deep under my skin I'll never get you out and I don't want you to. Marrying you will make me the happiest woman in the world."

As she spoke he bent down eliminating the distance separating their lips. "That's good, because I love you too." he murmured just before he took her soft, pliant lips with his own. "So, it looks like we have a wedding to plan."

"And soon, before I pop like a balloon."

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**Reviews are love.**


	92. Chapter 92

Huge thanks to **DD2, michelle UK, qqball, zeilfanaat, Rittanicus, Lynnp **and **carolfd **for your lovely reviews.

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Waking up Harm immediately sensed the warmth of the woman he loved by his side. Pulling her body closer he noticed the presence of panties and a T-shirt. Disregarding that fact he abided by the rule that sleepy morning sex can be some of the best so he pulled the crotch of her panties to the side and slid into her wet heat, overhearing Loren's low warnings.

Mindful of the hour he stiffled his groan in her delicate shoulder as he bit into it when he was suddenly confronted with a small face that made him stop his movements in horror "Mornin', Daddy!" the small girl exclaimed, then frowned "Daddy, what are you doing to Mommy?"

For a moment, as long as the eternity, Harm stared into the face of his daughter, terror in his heart, wondering what the hell he was going to say now when...

Opening his eyes abruptly Harm woke up in the darkened air of his house, his heart beating a mile a minute and sweating like a river.

Frantically looking around he was relieved to discover he was still in 2003, his arm around his fiancee as her large belly rested on his hip, to relieve her back enough to let her sleep, and then sank back into the bed.

"Harm?" a sleepy voice inquired from his chest as Loren raised her head to blink up at him "What's wrong?"

The concern and love in her voice washed over him and he realized the meaning of his dream. Caressing her 8 month baby bump he mused what his life, and love life, would soon look like. While his life would be much better and fuller his love life would be that of a teenager, sneaking a nookie in in the brief minutes they were alone. That is, after 6 weeks of no sex at all... After those six weeks they'd either be trying to sneak in a quickie between their jobs and caring for their daughter or they'd be too tired to even make love. And in the years after that they'd have to go to even bigger extremes to get a few hours to themselves, like ask their friends to take the kids for a night and the like.

Thus there was only one thing he could extrapolate from all this.

"We should've gotten together sooner." he intoned hoarsely.

Finding him in the dark, hard and ready, she stroked him, smiling sleepily.

"You didn't like me, remember?" was her ready answer "And there was Mac..."

Harm couldn't argue with that, for it was true. Even though he'd always had the feeling no-one was seeing the whole of her, he hadn't liked the facade she'd put up for other people. Still, he would've been willing and ready to try to uncover the real Loren by entering a relationship with her even back then. Had there been no Mac and his blind and stupid infatuation with the Marine...

"True. And you weren't ready for a real relationship yet." he replied "But I still think we should've gotten together before you got pregnant."

"Why?" her face suddenly grew fearful "Is it because you weren't the one to make her? Are you..."

"No." he cut her off with a sure voice "I don't regret anything, I just wish we've had more time for ourselves, as a couple."

"Ah." Loren was suddenly sporting a naughty grin "You horny little devil, you."

"Hey!" Harm protested, laughing "Is it really a crime for me to wish I had more time to make love to my wife before a baby came?"

"Speaking of coming..." Loren's gaze became smokey dark and she moved to climb on him, but was instead guided on her back.

As Harm loomed above her, just before he pushed into her, he murmured "No need for speaking, lets just do it."

She couldn't agree more.

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"Sooo.... wedding...." Harm started with a low, voice, still husky from his post-coital bliss "Any idea when?"

"Don't you mean when and WHERE?" Loren put in, moaning in pleasure as Harm traced a strange design on her large, naked belly. Aroused again.

He couldn't help but wonder whether Loren's turn around time was so short because of the hormones, even though she was way past her second trimester, or because she'd always been like that. Privately, he liked to believe it was because it was him.

"Nope." he smirked, popping the 'p'.

"Why not?" glared Loren at him, but he didn't have the heart to tell her it didn't work on him now that he'd seen her naked and writhing beneath him in sexual bliss. Well, actually, it never had worked on him, but he was a smart man and didn't let on she had never been able to intimidate him. After all, it's hard to be intimidated by someone almost half your weight and more than a foot shorter.

"Because _I _decide the where." he carefully tracked the stretch mark running from her belly button to her pubis. In a feat of tactical thinking he reached the lower end right at the end of his sentence, the appreciative response of her nub stopping Loren's indignant reaction mid-stride. Smirking smugly Harm wondered why hadn't they made those lovey-dovey speeches sooner, he wouldn't have had to work to win their arguments, but just employed this tactic. It was under-handed, but it was effective AND it was pleasurable, for them both.

"Yeah? And what did you decide?" she wanted to know as soon as her mind was back in solid state.

"Here, in the backyard."

Loren opened her mouth to protest, but then halted. It actually wasn't that bad an idea. More than that, it was a great idea. If the weather won't cooperate they'll just transfer everything into the house.

"I take it you agree." there was still that smirk in his voice, but Loren had given up on the glaring.

She harumphed, causing Harm to chuckle.

"Now to you. When do you want it to happen?"

Loren sank in thought, rubbing her belly as a small foot struck against it's inner wall "How soon can we organize something small? A week?"

Harm frowned in puzzlement "Yeah, if we keep it small, and I mean small, I think we can set up everything in time. But you know we won't be able to have many guests on such a short notice, right?

"It's not like we're having a Greek wedding, Harm." she rolled her eyes "Your parents, the Admiral and people from the office are enough."

Harm grunted thoughtfully.

"You sure you don't want to wait until after you give birth?"

"Why?" she scowled suspiciously "It's because I'm fat, isn't it? Wedding photos will be taken and you don't want other people seeing later on what a fat hippo you married." her lower lip trembled as tears gathered in her pale eyes, causing Harm to sigh heavily.

Oh, yeah, to paraphrase that pregnancy book for men, Loren definitely looked and acted pregnant in her 3rd semester. Her second had gone along pretty good, apart from strange cravings, but now... her moods were unpredictable to say the least.

Even worse, no matter how many times he told her she wasn't fat it didn't help, because she kept on growing and by now couldn't even rise off the bed or a couch without his help. It didn't really help his argument about her not being fat when she couldn't see her own feet...

And even though it was clearly just the baby in there, not fat, she had still lost her waistline, her figure, had to waddle around and, most noticeably, none of her old clothes fit her anymore. As fun as it was to make her forget her current figure he couldn't wait until she gave birth, because as much as he loved her it was getting pretty tiring listening to the same old complaints, but not being able to disband them for good. As soon as the doctor allowed her after giving birth Harm would start her on a workout regime to get her old figure back.

Knowing there was only one thing that would distract her from her train of thought he reached down, slipping his finger into her, his thumb playing with her nub, while his lips closed around an engorged nipple.

"You're not getting out of..." was as far as Loren get before her words were overtaken by a lustful sigh. Quickly taking his painkillers to make sure he would last painless through the session, he got Loren into the most comfortable position and quickly had her forgetting everything.

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**Reviews are love.**


	93. Chapter 93

A long chapter to make up for the very long absence of updates. I hope you guys are still reading this. If not, then Eve will probably have to deal with a depressed fiancee. Or a brooding one. So, do her a favor and review. Thanks.

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The knocking on the door was unexpected and Harm went to open it, puzzled as to who it could be.

Opening the portal he saw nothing at first, but upon hearing the small "Hi, Harm." he looked down to find his ex-RIO standing on his welcome-mat.

"Skates?" he said, confused as to why she was there and delighted over her presence. Even though she'd recently transferred states-side, work and private life hadn't left him much time to spend with his old RIO.

"Can I come in?" she asked timidly, looking up at him with eyes dark with misery.

"Oh." Harm started, realizing his faux-pas of letting her stand there and moved away from the door, letting her in "Come in, come in."

As he led her to the living room Loren's voice floated down the corridor "Who was it, Harm?"

Stepping through the doorway he moved to the side, revealing their guest "It's Skates."

Loren's face blossomed in a genuine smile, having come to like the young woman, leaving Harm to again marvel at how much she'd grown in the past few months. Even half a year ago Loren-smiles were an unheard-of commodity. Now she gave them away frequently and generously. He liked to believe he had something to do with it. She didn't disagree with this theory.

Elizabeth's eyes grew comically when she saw Loren and her mouth dropped slightly open "Wow, you've gotten BIG!"

Harm's own eyes narrowed when instead of being ripped to shreds Loren glowed even more as if praised and allowed Skates to put a hand on her belly, guiding it with her own hand so the younger woman could feel the baby moving. Shaking his head Harm had to concede to the fact that hearing from a woman she got bigger was a compliment to Loren, but if he said it then it was taken as an offense and he got his head handed to him on a platter. And not even on a silver one at that...

As the two women talked about pregnancy and kids and everything related to these two topics Harm couldn't help but notice the wistful look in Liz's eyes. He was getting a bad feeling this was all related to his oldest buddy, but decided not to jump to conclusions yet.

His patience paid off when Skates, after many failed attempts, finally revealed why she'd dropped by.

"You probably know, abuot me and Jack getting closer since we met. We're friends and for the last month it's been obvious to both of us we were heading somewhere. And since Jack somehow ended up transferred to Pax river a month after me we had a lot of time to spend in each other's company and grew closer." Harm could understand her discomfort, talking about intimate details of your love life with someone else is not something people do every day "A few days ago... we... uh... I think we were about to... erm... take the next step..." her blush didn't leave anything to the imagination "but suddenly Jack pulled back and put distance between us."

Incredulity sounded prominent in Harm's voice when he checked to make sure "You mean to tell me that Jack pulled out BEFORE the sex and not AFTER?" then realized the second meaning to his words and his ear-tips became dark red. Loren giggled while Liz blushed as well, hiding her face in her hands.

"Yeah." she squeaked from between her fingers.

The problem definitely had Harm's interest now. Had Jack lost interest in Skates after having had sex with her Harm wouldn't have been surprised, but for Jack to break it off before it got to the best part of adult relationships...

He stood "I'll be back in a couple of hours." bending down he kissed Loren and then whispered to her "Don't wait up for me." he glanced at Skates "And try to keep her here."

Loren nodded, smiling as she read this thoughts "Will do."

"I've got something to ask you, Elizabeth." was the last Harm could hear as he closed the front door behind himself.

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Stepping through the front door of the small non-descript house among tenths of non-descript houses that made up the base housing of Pax River, Harm followed the sound of engines.

Collecting a bottle of water and a beer on the way he ended up in the sparsely-decorated living room, where an aging pilot was obviosly intent on getting wasted while watching the Red Bull Air Races.

Sinking down into an armchair Harm settled in for a long wait. Keeter was just like Harm, like most men in fact, you couldn't push him and force him into talking about important things on your terms, your time, only on his. When Keeter was ready to talk, IF Keeter was ready to talk, he would. On his own. If not... well, at least they were spending some bonding time together, with their jobs that one was hard to find.

Stretching out to place the bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of the brooding man, Harm then leaned back to watch the action on the TV, quietly analyzing which maneuvers he could adopt for his Stearman, or even a Tomcat. It took Keeter over an hour and a half before he spoke up, startling Harm and surprising him with the topic he'd chosen.

"Strange, how the world changes. Before, we were the ones to whom there were things more important than family and love, but now..."

"The world is changing, Jack." Harm commiserated "And not necessarily for the better. Family is starting to lose it's importance in society and everything is turning on it's head."

"Maybe we're just growing old." continued the other pilot after giving some thought to Harm's words "But 20 years ago it was hard to find girls who didn't mind sex without commitment, I was thrilled if I could find them, but nowadays this new trend among women of picking up men in bars and avoiding relationships, that is constantly getting more followers, is starting to worry me. We, men, were once called irresponsible, commitment-phobic, were driving recklessly, sleeping around, but now, looking at the world, it seems to me that modern women have become even more irresponsible than we were and it even looks like they're actually _trying_ to be worse than we were in everything. Especially in stupidity."

Harm kept quiet, not knowing what to say, not even capable of guessing what it was leading up to. This philosophical side wasn't at all like the Jack Keeter he knew, but that gave him a pause. He wasn't the same man he'd been 20 years ago either and he was doing disservice to his oldest friend by believing Jack would never change. Harm had changed, why couldn't have Jack? They were both almost 40 and it was about time their priorities in life and way of thinking had shifted. For the first time in his life Harm contemplated the idea of Jack Keeter having grown up and it was a frankly strange one. Jack Keeter and 'grown up' had always been a contradiction of terms. But maybe not anymore... It was Jack's next words that had Harm perking up his ears and tuning back into his friend's monologue.

"But now that I finally find a girl who doesn't mind settling down, put it first before her career, and I get cold feet."

Well, at least SOMETHING familiar about Keeter...

After he'd said those words Keeter sank into silence that lasted for well over an hour, during which the air race had ended and Keeter switched over to Moto GP, enjoying the ballet the riders were seemingly so effortlessly performing as they went from one corner into the next.

"Did I ever tell you about my mother, Harm?" Keeter finally spoke up again, physically turning to face his friend.

Harm blinked, as much at the sudden change of topic as to the venom used for 'my mother'.

"No, you didn't." Harm replied. At the start of their friendship he'd been curious about what had happened to his mother, but had had enough sensitivity not to prod. Had Jack wanted him to know he would've told him. Now the time when Jack wanted him to know had obviously come.

There was another pause for ten minutes during which the two men kept drinking and watching the race.

"She left me and my dad soon after I was born." Jack finally continued, startling Harm with the sudden declaration. The other man's eyes were directed at the TV screen, but they were unseeing, Jack too deep into himself "She decided she didn't want to be a mother, never wanted to be one. Her job was all-important to her and she didn't want to sacrifice it for anything. So, in her opinion, she had to decide between her family and her career. She decided." finished Jack in a dead tone.

Harm was no psychologist, but even he could see the correlation between Jack's mother abandoning him and his father for the sake of her career and Jack being commitment-phobic. It's true that the events in your childhood shape you into the person you become. A scar like your mother leaving you for something like that never fades and since it was carved into you so early on as when you were a baby, it influences who you turn out to be, how you relate to other people and especially your adult relationships with women. This also explained why Jack's father had immediately turned down any woman on the day of Jack and Harm's graduation ceremony when several single mothers of other graduates had showed interest. The man had been too badly scarred to be willing to risk another hurt.

"And when you and Skates were starting to get close you became afraid she'll do something like that herself sometime down the line if you let the relationship continue naturally." Harm concluded his friend's narration, receiving a reluctant nod in confirmation.

"There's more to the story than just that."

Harm nodded, having had the feeling that wasn't everything.

"Years after she left us, Dad was watching the news and there was a short clip of a hard-line feminist meeting, with Marilyn French among the speakers. The one who wrote 'all men are rapists and that's all they are'. And there was a shot of my dear mother, sitting in the front row, clapping and cheering French on." Jack sighed.

"Skates _is_ somewhat of a feminist." Harm mused and Jack grunted in return. For a brief second the lawyer regretted having gotten involved in all this, but that thought lasted only a second. Jack, even the loud-mouth he was, was his friend and Harm was not a person to let his friends down. Especially not his best friend, that would be against everything Harm stood for. Finally he sighed, lost for words and ideas "I don't know what to tell you, Jack. Yes, Skates and I have known each other for a while, but I can't tell you if she'd do the same thing as your mother did if you got married and had a family. You can either risk finding out or you break it off for good."

Harm felt bad when Jack's face fell, but he'd always believed in telling the truth straight up, rather than making something up to make the person feel better. That way it hurts less than if the truth would hit the person straight on sometime later.

"But I do think Skates has the right to hear what you just told me." he continued decisively "You and Skates need to have a long, thorough conversation and talk about everything you and I talked about right now. Skates needs to know the score, where she stands, so she can make a decision before it gets too far. If she's not ready for the real deal it's better you guys end it now, than let it go on and have her regret it years down the line. Which would in turn make _you _miserable. That is, if _you_ are ready for the whole deal?" Harm raised his eyebrows at his friend inquiringly.

Jack chuckled, his huge shoulders shaking "Believe it or not, buddy, but yeah I am. I'm getting old, transferring to Pax River was the only way I could keep on flying and even that will be increasingly rare." his eyes burned with sudden intensity then "I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, like my Dad is bound to. Seeing you and Loren made me finally confront what I actually want." again he shrugged at a pleasantly surprised Harm "I want what you and Loren have and if I have it with Liz, then all the better."

A pleased smile tugged at Harm's lips "Then I think we should get you to her ASAP. Especially since from the way she was looking at Loren today she probably won't have any objections to your long-term plans." rising from his chair he came up to Jack, extending a hand "Come on, man, I'll drive you, I know where to find her."

Jack readily took the offer, using Harm's help to get to somewhat unsteady feet.

As they were heading to the front door Harm mentioned casually to his friend "Oh, btw., Keeter, what do you say about being my best man?"

A slow smile of delight spread on his oldest friend's face and abruptly Keeter patted Harm forcefully on the back "Congratulations, old buddy. So, the little lady finally got to her senses, huh?" he grinned.

Harm grinned in return "Thanks and, yeah, she did." looking around conspiratorially as if she was there and could overhear "Just be careful not to call her that whenever she's around." he winked "She's touchy about her height."

They both laughed.

"No worries, man. So, who is the Maid of Honor?"

"A certain RIO who came by quite unexpectedly this afternoon, if she accepted it that is."

Jack chuckled and shook his head "Then me and Liz really do have to sort things out, huh? Wouldn't do for the best man and maid of honor to be at each other's throats at the wedding."

Harm nodded in assent "Always said you were a smart man." he snickered then "But you hid it so damn good nobody ever believed me."

Loud laughter followed the two man out of the house.

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**AN:** to explain a little. I had Jack's mother abandoning him for several reasons, among them that I wanted to bring attention to the fact that (contrary to popular belief) not only men abandon their families, but women too, and because it is definitely a plausible explanation for Jack evading commitment and real relationships as we have seen him do on the show. I can't imagine any guy having no trust/abandonment issues towards women after his mother had left his father and him when he was just a baby, so that to me is a plausible scenario. I also wanted to point out the increasingly stronger trend of women choosing their careers over everything else, even love and chance for a family; yet another cause for the degradation of the traditional society with family as it's core and foundation. We can see this almost everywhere and the most prominent examples on TV are Mac in JAG, Sam in Stargate SG-1, Cuddy from House MD and I could list many more examples, among them real-life examples of women I personally know.

**Reviews are love.**


	94. Chapter 94

Fixed some errors.

The court case was inspired by what I found when I was aimlessly surfing Yahoo! Answers and it mostly follows the situation described there. Gives even more credence to Einstein's words: **"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."** And as someone else said: **"Some people (and their parents) should not be allowed to procreate."** Sure, politically incorrect, but it's the truth.

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Harm made his closing argument and sat down, anxious to hear the judge's decision. It had been an interesting and even more-so disturbing case, one he was glad was now over.

Commander Helfman took off her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose, then sighed, contemplating what to say. It took a whole minute before she spoke up and by that time everyone was fidgeting in their seats.

"Let me first express just how appalled I am over the moral state in this country and specifically the two people sitting here before me now. It's an alarming sign of just how morally bankrupt our society has become that, not only will people actively seek sexual gratification with complete strangers they don't even know how they look nor can touch them, instead of finding a partner and build a worthwhile relationship with them, but when they fall pregnant due to nothing but their own stupidity and carelessness will even try to exploit our legal system to make the other partner pay for what they themselves are to blame for."

She paused, sighing, before looking at Ensign Peters who was quietly fuming in her seat "From what I understand of this 'gloryhole' concept" her disdain and revulsion was clear in her voice "it is that it's supposed to be completely discrete, anonymous and impersonal, with no partner ever knowing who their partner was and thus being responsible only for their own actions and not the other party's. As such, Lieutenant Hoxle should not be forced to carry the responsibility for Ensign Peters' decision, to which she had come completely willingly with absolutely no outside coercion or influence, to engage in sexual intercourse with him, or more specifically with the sexual organs appearing from the hole. It had been disclosed and sufficiently proven that Ensign Peters knew full well she was on no birth control, nor had she demanded of her partner to use a condom, nor had she placed one on him herself, but she had not even informed him of the fact that they were about to have sex unsafe in every meaning of the word. Thus she had mislead him into the false belief that his partner had the birth control covered and, since it was an anonymous encounter as obvious to and agreed on by both parties, no consequences of it would follow."

Harm couldn't help but agree with the disgust over the arrangement CDR Helfman couldn't keep out of her voice. This case had showed him the depraved underbelly of society in all it's alarming state and made him appreciate the kind of relationship he had with Loren all the more. How people could engage in these kinds of acts was beyond him and made him think that perhaps the Western Civilization didn't need outside enemies because it was clearly rotting and falling apart from the inside. The amount and diversity of degenerations and sexual perversions, the moral degradation of upper classes, together with their senseless spending and endless greed and corruption, the ever-widening chasm of social differences between the lower and upper classes, deepening poverty of the lower classes, ever smaller importance of the nuclear family and the rise of individualism that was the cause of it, selfishness of people,... all signaled a situation that was just years or perhaps decades before a collapse, just like Ancient Rome, and every empire before it, had rotted from inside out to the point it became incapable of defending itself from the germanian tribes and finally fell.

There was only one true constant in the universe: the inevitable fall of every civilization to rise. Every civilization to date had fallen after a certain point and usually it died in war with lesser developed people. Only now that he was about to become a parent Harm was starting to worry about the future of humanity, what kind of life his child would have, and he feared that perhaps the end had already begun with the "first war of 21st century".

"Further I'd like to say how appalled I am as a woman at your actions, Ensign Peters, at your failure of informing your partner of the fact that you weren't on birth control, at you refusing the use of protection, and then, when this decision had consequences with you getting pregnant, using the legal system to find out the identity of your sexual partner, even though the whole concept of such... places... is to insure maximum and endless privacy, and to then try to make him pay for your own mistakes and carelessness. With this you have put yourself on the same level as the women who falsely accuse a man of rape."

She paused as she prepared her sentence and banged the gavel "Ensign Peters' demand for Lieutenant Hoxle to pay child support is here-by being denied."

As Peters crossed her arms over her chest angrily and Hoxle sighed in relief, Helfman's sharp voice cracked through the air like a whip "That's not all!" glaring at the two people she continued "With what we learned of the circumstances of the child's conception, I am recommending charges be brought against you both, for disgracing your uniforms, bringing dishonor and discredit to the Navy and to the rest of the US armed forces, conduct unbecoming, etc.. As it is, your time in the Navy has come to an end, I will personally make sure of that. Further more, I'm giving out an order for every lavatory on Navy bases to be inspected and insured behaviour like this can not be repeated on Navy grounds."

Looking towards the guards she ordered "Guards, take them away."

All present rose as Helfman left the courtroom and guards stepped forward to arrest the two officers in question.

Loren approached Harm, watching the ENS and LT being led away by the guards. Turning to her fiancee she caressed the large bulge underneath her maternity summer dress. She had already changed out of her uniform as she and Harm were going to the airport to pick up his parents "CDR Helfman was right. Some people really are depraved and morally bankrupt."

"Yeah." Harm agreed, kissing her quickly after making sure they were the only ones left in the courtroom "We don't need people like them in the Navy, good thing we found out the truth so we could do something about it. Too bad about the child, though, to be created in such a careless manner."

"Yeah." Loren sighed softly in agreement, smiling when Harm's hand joined hers in it's affectionate rubbing "You ready to go pick up your parents at the airport?"

"Just about." he replied, taking hold of her hand as they walked down the isle towards the door. Opening the door for her he followed her out, sighing in regret over not being able to continue holding her hand since they were in uniform "I just got to change into civilian clothes in my office and then we can go."

Quickly looking around to make sure no-one was looking Loren reached up and tenderly caressed Harm's smooth cheek with her gentle fingers Harm's eyes slipped closed and he caught her hand, lovingly kissing the palm before letting go.

* * *

Stepping into the busy airport they checked the arrivals' board, relieved to notice they weren't late. Harm's parents wouldn't be arriving for another 30 minutes so they decided to find a quiet cafe and wait there.

Taking a seat in the back booth Harm and Loren took advantage of the privacy and snuggled together on the bench, his right arm around her shoulders while his left hand was on her belly. With a private conversation and occasional tender, discreet kisses the time flew by quickly and before they knew it Harm's watch was letting them know the plane was about to unboard.

Trish and Frank were among the first off.

"Loren! Good to see you again, my dear." Trish exclaimed warmly as she took the younger woman in a tight embrace. It wasn't much different from the one she'd given her when she'd found out Loren was carrying her grandchild back in June when Harm had finally let his parents know.

"You too, Mrs Rabb, it's been a while." smiled Loren, still a little uncomfortable with the kind of easy affection the Burnetts dispensed with. Like Harm she had to get used to someone, get to know them thoroughly before being comfortable enough for PDAs, like hugging.

Trish rolled her eyes with good humor "I've told you plenty of times before, my dear, call me Mom."

Letting out an embarrassed chuckle Loren nodded, before turning to her future step-father-in-law. Sneaking a glance at Harm and getting his confirming nod she embraced the older man lightly "Good to see you too,... Dad?"

Frank blinked surprised, before delight broke out on his face and he embraced her, too choked up to say anything. Loren's look at Harm hadn't escaped his notice and he had a pretty good idea as to who gave the idea for this.

Knowing Harm wasn't someone who conducted changes lightly and swiftly unless forced into them he couldn't help but smile at the knowledge of how his and Harm's relationship had improved, as it was clear Harm was almost ready to call him that himself.

Since it was clear the two women had a lot to talk about Frank sat shotgun, this allowing Loren and Trish converse to their hearts' delight. Harm had barely turned over the engine when Trish accosted Loren.

"Nervous, dear?"

Loren smiled.

"Of marrying Harm? No. Of messing something up? Yes. Of hurting him? Definitely."

At Trish's inquisitive look she explained "I have these constant mental images of faceplanting myself into the ground just before I reach him. Or dropping the ring just as I'm about to put it on his finger. Or forgetting my vows. The silly kind. But the thing I'm most worried about is destroying our marriage some other way and hurting Harm."

Trish smiled compassionately "Don't worry about any of that, dear. Even if you trip or lose the ring or forget the vows Harm won't love you any less. And don't worry about destroying your marriage, Harm won't let you."

"That still leaves out the hurting-Harm part." Loren pointed out, large baby blues looking up at her future mother-in-law.

Trish's eyes became even more serious "Because you can't avoid that in a longterm relationship. It'll happen. You'll hurt him, he'll hurt you. Hopefully they'll all be minor, inconsequential and brief-lasting hurts, nothing important and nothing that would affect your relationship, marriage and family."

"And how do I avoid that?" Loren looked down at her hands, sorrow falling on her like a cloud "Despite what Harm believes I'm not a good person. The fact that someone as amazing as he fell in love with me is a miracle. Or a sign that he needs glasses."

Trish chuckled at the last qualifier, then sobered up "You _are _a good person, Loren, and the sole fact that you're doubting it proves you are. As for preserving your marriage... well, every relationship requires effort and work and a marriage more than others, but it's worth it. My advice is that you just stay true to Harm and to yourself, to who you are... the person Harm discovered beneath the mask you put up for other people. The person we all like. It's the person under the facade that Harm fell in love with, the real you. Don't go to bed angry, work out your disagreements, communicate on _everything_, never _ever_ stop talking to each other. Just as important, or even more, is that you two should never take each other and what you have for granted. Cherish each moment you have because you never know when it might end."

Loren had nothing to say to Trish's last advice, even with the obvious peace and contentment her marriage to Frank Burnett gave her, she had obviously not forgotten her first husband nor stopped loving him. Nodding gently in response she touched the older woman's hand "Thank you."

Glancing at the back-seat Frank smiled at seeing them getting along just so well. Harm had found himself a fine young woman, one who obviously loved him back just as fiercely and one who was about to give him his first child. Turning back to his conversation with Harm he mulled over the newest change in his relationship with his step-son, but refrained from calling Harm on it, knowing the younger man would be uncomfortable talking about it and rather wanted a silent shift than a discussion.

In whatever kind the next few years would play out they would certainly prove interesting.

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**Reviews are love. Please give me lots of love!**


	95. Chapter 95

I'm cutting the wedding in two parts because I'm frankly not in the mood to be proof-reading such a long chapter.

Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter, **zeilfanaat, blubachat2, Vesja, Michelle UK, carolfd, Lynnp **and **CtryGirlz.** I was sad to discover I've lost a few readers with this fic's long absence, but was also happy to discover I've gained a new one. So, heartfelt welcome to **CtryGirlz **and **Vesja**.

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Loren was tilting between being a nervous wreck and having inner peace.

Standing in the Roberts' guest room, wearing nothing but white silk underwear, she was staring at herself in the mirror, not seeing anything as her mind was too far away.

Harriet, Skates and Trish were buzzing around her, sorting out clothes and other paraphernalia one needs to get married, until a frustrated noise from one of them tore Loren out of la-la land.

With a nod to her friends they set to work on getting her into the lovely cream summer dress she'd bought to get married in, which in her opinion was a tough job with how big she was. The dress was nothing fancy and it made no secret of her burgeoning mound, but the moment she had put it on in the store she'd known this was the one.

Finally they were ready and Loren couldn't stop her jaw from dropping when she took her first look at the amazingly gorgeous woman staring back at her from the full-length mirror.

"Wow." she muttered.

"You're gorgeous, dear." Trish confirmed, smoothing out the dress one last time "Harm won't know what hit him."

Loren felt herself blush "Mrs Rabb."

Trish shook her head in admonishment "None of that 'Mrs Rabb'. It's Mom. Remember?"

"Sorry. Mom." Loren blushed harder, then winced at a particularly fierce kick from within.

Trish smiled compassionately as she continued "I just wanted to say how happy I am you and Harm have found each other, I haven't seen him smile so much and be that relaxed and content, ever since before his father was shot down. For the past few years Frank and I have all but give up on Harm finding someone to settle down and raise a family with. After getting to know you I'm glad it's you and not someone else, like... _that _woman. You're good for him and to him."

"You're wrong, Mom, _I _should be thanking Harm for choosing me. I don't deserve him, but for some reason he wants me."

"Because he loves you and because, no matter what you think, you're a good person, honey."

Loren had nothing to say to that.

Trish impulsively embraced her soon to be daughter-in-law "Thank you for making my son happy."

Hearing a sniff she pulled back from her soon-to-be-daughter-in-law "Don't start crying now, you'll ruin your make-up." she chided, laughing softly "Now, what do you say we get you married? Harm must be climbing the walls by now."

Loren giggled and followed Trish out the door. Outside they met Bud who whistled upon seeing them all dressed up. "Wow." he muttered before opening the front door and letting them through first, locking up the house as the women walked to the waiting cars.

* * *

Arriving at the Singer-Rabb, soon-to-be Rabb-Rabb, house, they honked to let everyone know they'd arrived.

Frank met them in the front yard and his eyes widened when he took in Loren and Trish. "Wow." he muttered with a teasing glint aimed at his wife "If I was 30 years younger I'd give Harm a run for his money."

Loren chuckled while Trish rolled her eyes at her husband's antics.

"Ready, Loren?" Frank asked gently when the merriment calmed down.

Loren took a deep breath then extended her hand to see it shaking slightly. Making a fist she exhaled again and looked at Frank "Ready as I'll ever be."

Taking his offered elbow she followed him through the house. They stopped before the french doors while Frank stuck his head through the curtains and signaled Tiner. Almost immediately music could be heard from the speakers of the boombox.

Loren's eyes misted as she recognized the song as the one they'd danced to so long ago when she'd accosted Harm in the bar and begged him to play her boyfriend. As she and Frank walked up the very short aisle to where Harm, Jack and the JoP were standing, her eyes locked with the man she loved, knowing she was letting him see everything she felt for him.

Finally they were here, on the verge of bonding their lives together forever and now that she was about to make this step Loren found she had lost all her anxiety.

Loren and Frank stopped in front of Harm and the JoP who asked "Who gives this woman away?"

"I do." Frank said simply, putting Loren's hand in Harm's and stepped away.

"We are gathered here today..."

Loren tuned him out as she carefully studied the man about to become her husband. True, he was a little rough around the edges, no "90's guy" read emo guy who cries when someone calls him a douche, he had problems expressing his emotions occasionally, sometimes didn't notice the things he should, a couple of demons on his back; but he was a good man, one of the best she knew. She couldn't have wished a better father for her child and a better husband for herself than him.

Before she knew it the crucial moment arrived and the JoP was talking to her.

"Do you, Loren, take this man to be your husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Loren answer.

The JoP then turned to Harm.

"Do you, Harm, take this woman to be your wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"The rings, please."

Jack slipped the ring off his pinky finger and gave it over to Harm, who took Loren's small hand in his as he stared deeply into her eyes.

"Harm, please repeat after me: I, Harm, take thee, Loren, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to cherish, till death us do part."

Harm repeated the words as he slipped the ring onto Loren's finger. When that was done, Skates took Harm's wedding band off her thumb, causing a brief moment of panic as she nearly dropped it, and then handed it over to Loren.

The JoP nodded in satisfaction over none of the rings having been dropped or lost, even with that short moment, having seen more than his fair share of such occasions, and turned to Loren "Loren, please repeat after me: I, Loren, take thee, Harm, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part."

There were gasps among the few present women as Harm froze, then glared at the JoP. Was the man purposely trying to sabotage Harm's wedding and marriage? He had almost had to die to finally get Loren to agree to marry him and this guy was about to destroy that!? Harm was just waiting for Loren to blast the JoP and him and break off the wedding, storming down the aisle in a righteous feminist fury.

Yet, that never happened. Calmly, as if nothing had happened, Loren repeated the words and slipped the ring on Harm's finger, smirking slightly. Oh, yeah, Harm definitely had to have a few words with his new wife soon, he was sure she had something on her sleeve.

The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur for both of them and then the JoP was saying the words all newlyweds love to hear.

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**Reviews are love, give me lots of love!**


	96. Chapter 96

So, this is it with the wedding... Frankly I'm not sure when the next part is gonna be because I have none written yet (well, except for the ending...), while I DO have other fics that await posting...

**Vesja: ** buahahaha (imagine a diabolical laughter) I love corrupting HM fans! :) Lovely place, Nederland, ve'been there two times, to Zeist and Emmen, the only thing I didn't like about it is that somehow whenever I'm there it's cold (from 5 to 10 degrees colder than in Slovenia) and always raining. *shrug* Somebody up there doesn't want me visiting Holland. :) But when it's not raining it must be beautiful.

To close these AN-s up, thank you all who warmed by heart by reviewing my baby!

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"By the power invested in me by the state of Virginia I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Harm slipped his arms around Loren's back and pulled her closer, as close as he could with her quite-large-now belly in the way, while Loren put hers on his shoulders.

Passionately their lips locked and the outside world disappeared. Until they were quite rudely yanked away from each other by the Best Man and Maid of Honor, that is.

"Okay, guys, save it for the wedding night." Jack grinned as Harm glared at him and Loren blushed, hiding her face in her husband's chest.

Husband...

Loren stilled, an unconscious smile settling on her lips. That had a very nice ring to it. Very nice, indeed.

Before letting each other go they exchanged another brief peck and a set of "I love you".

Figuring he had hold off long enough he whispered to his wife "Obey, hmmm?"

Loren smirked "Figure that would get your attention."

"It couldn't have NOT."

Loren shrugged "If Sophie Rhys-Jones could include the obey part when she got married to Prince Edward why couldn't I? If it's good enough for nobility... But, anyway, what Rt Rev Peter Nott, Bishop of Norwich, the man who officiated at the marriage said on that is what made me think and then include it. I liked his explanation. He said: _"It is a mistaken assumption that, when a bride says she will obey, it means that she is going to be subservient - it is to do with trust and listening, to recognise that in a family you have different functions. There are times when the husband will rightly obey the wife because she knows better and is in the lead in that area - the partnership is equal and, in a good marriage, always shifts."_ I couldn't help but agree, what we have really is a partnership."

Harm grinned before leaning in to capture another kiss "Guess that means I'll have to obey you too, huh?"

Loren grinned right back "That's right. We'll just take turns."

Shrugging, Harm replied, but with serious eyes "I don't have a problem with that."

They managed one more quick peck before turning to their friends and family, who'd swarmed around them figuring they'd given the newlyweds enough time to talk.

"Welcome to the family, Loren." Trish whispered fiercely as she embraced Loren.

Tears sprung from Loren's eyes at the emotion those words caused in her and she mutely hugged back her mother-in-law.

Harm, after having endured a spirited slapping on his back, that would no doubt leave a bruise, and teasing from Jack, turned to his step-father and exhanged a brief manly hug, together with shoulder-thumping. When he turned around he came face to face with his CO, glaring sternly at him.

"I never in my life thought I'd say this, Commander, but you better take good care of the Lieutenant." Chegwidden rumbled.

Harm smiled "I will, sir, you don't have to worry about that."

"Good, cause if you don't I'll make your life a living hell."

Nodding, Harm decided against saying anything more, privately knowing life without Loren was living hell by itself now.

Immediately after Trish had let go of her Loren was grabbed by Hawkes, who hugged her with a big smile on her pretty face "Congratulations, you've got yourself a wonderful man, one of the best there is." Skates looked around to check no-one was eavesdropping, then leaned in closer, her face becoming dangerous and voice threatening "But if you hurt him, I'll kill you." A shiver ran up Loren's spine and Skates smiled consolingly "Don't worry, it's nothing personal, I'd say that and go through with it no matter who he'd married." then she smiled blood-thirstily as she continued "I'd just have an additional motivation to add a little torture before the death part if it was LtCol MacKenzie he'd married." she shrugged "But then again, if he'd married MacKenzie I would've been right now preparing the torture chamber because there's no way that marriage wouldn't fall apart within a year and no way she wouldn't be the one screwing it up, with Harm ending up being the one hurt."

Loren couldn't help but smile, seemed like all the women who cared for Harm had something in common.

Chegwidden was next "How are you feeling as a newly-minted wife, Lieutenant... Er, by what will you be going anyway? Singer? Singer-Rabb? Rabb?"

Loren smiled "Rabb, sir, just Rabb and, thank you, I feel wonderful."

The admiral nodded "Rabb it is. But..." he continued musingly "now I'll have to add a name when I'll be yelling for a Rabb."

Harm approached them then, slinging his arm around his wife, gathering her to his body "Oh, don't worry, sir, I'll always know which Rabb you'll mean."

"And how's that, CDR?" Chegwidden was intrigued.

"Whenever you yell for me, you always growl and extend the R, adding a nice personal touch, sir." Harm quipped, causing the three of them to chuckle.

* * *

Sitting together, watching their friends and family mingle around the tables filled with food, Harm couldn't help but notice Jack and Elizabeth sticking together most of the it was clear Jack had slowed the pace of their relationship down quite noticeably, unwilling to risk getting hurt yet, needing to first trust Elizabeth completely before he gave in, it was clear he was committed to her, forsaking all others.

Harm couldn't help but be amused by the man who had said 3 years ago "Why should I exchange attentions of many women for the lack of attention from one woman?"

He was simply amazed how things had changed as he himself, Jack, Loren, Skates and so many other people were the living proof that people _do_ change.

* * *

**Reviews are love. Give me lots of love :)**


	97. Chapter 97

I hope there are no idiots with an axe to grind against me that'll again report me for posting an author's notes instead of a chapter (happened the only time before and thank you so much -sarcasm- to those because of whom I was banned from posting for a week). But they'll probably be celebrating when they read the reason for this AN.

Anyway, why I'm not simply updating with another chapter and won't be for the foreseeable future: within the last few days Eve and I with a mutual decision and on friendly terms decided to end our engagement and relationship.

I hope you can understand now why I'm not really in the mood for anything to do with romance and I'd like to apologize to all of you who hoped to find a new chapter of ONE by clicking this link and for making you wait even longer for it, as it is now I don't know when I'll be in the mood again.

I'm sincerely sorry for making you wait any longer for the continuation of the fics you like, but I hope the fact that I considered ONE finished with H&L marrying will make the disappointment at least somewhat smaller.

Sincerely sorry again, but rest assured you'll be the first to know when I'm in the mood again :)

VisualIDentificationZeta


	98. Chapter 98

I couldn't believe it when I saw that I haven't updated this thing in over 4 months. As my apology for such a long wait I'm giving you an extra, extra, extra, EXTRA long chapter, hope you like it.

Two things:

1. does anyone remember an old WWII movie that also dubs as a love story, about a young Navy pilot (a Lieutenant) stationed in Hawaii, that meets a famous actress/singer/something, and later takes her on a plane ride and they land at some island? It's all I can remember about the movie and unfortunately I can't find it on any WWII movie list. Thanks!

2. research for fics can bring up some interesting results, like something I found when researching the topic of pregnancy for this fic (of course I research for my fics, especially for topics like this that I have no clue about and no experience in RL). Quote is from wikipedia, topic was pre-eclampsia:

"Continued exposure to a partner's semen has a strong protective effect against pre-eclampsia, largely due to the absorption of several immune modulating factors present in seminal fluid.

**Long periods of sexual cohabitation with **_**the same partner **_**fathering a woman's child significantly decreased her chances of suffering pre-eclampsia**. As one early study described, "although preeclampsia is a disease of first pregnancies, **the protective effect of multiparity is lost with change of partner**.""

Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed this story and I hope you won't shy away from leaving a review for this chapter either.

With these author's notes over with for this chapter, I'll let you get back to the story.

Enjoy.

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The next day saw them browsing through nursery furniture, something they'd been putting off to reasons unknown to them, interspersed with frequent rests for Loren. Seeing all the stuff for the baby that Loren insisted it was either in pink or other completely girly colours, Harm couldn't ignore the message between the lines. It warmed his heart anew everytime it was obvious Loren was planning to give their baby the childhood she hadn't had herself. She was also seemingly planning on making their baby girl a girly girl, which was fine with Harm as long as Loren didn't turn into one of those mothers who's daughters were forbidden from doing anything that would get their clothes dirty.

A few hours later Harm was again claiming an empty bench in a small nearby park while he waited for his wife. Being heavily pregnant during the hottest days of the year had to suck, there was no doubt about it in Harm's mind.

Amusement and sympathy warred for supremacy as he checked his watch and realized it had only been half an hour since Loren's previous pit-stop, making him glad yet again that he was a man, even though men have their own gender-specific problems to deal with.

Even now, two weeks after the wedding and a week after the fabulous honeymoon in Bahamas he still couldn't help but be overwhelmed by wonder at how quickly his life had changed completely. Four months ago he'd been a single man, free to do what he pleased (within law of course), then in the space of hours he'd become a father and in just a few months a husband.

True, at times he did think mournfully back to the days when the only person he had to think about was himself, but married life wasn't bad either, you just have to share it with the right person, something Harm knew he did.

Close to his spot he noticed a group of four people, three men and one woman, talking about something, serious expressions on their tanned faces, looking very conspiciuous in all-black. Their bench being so near he couldn't help but overhear their conversation and it made his ears perk up in alarm that quickly turned into amused bewilderment at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

"I do feel, Reg, that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interest in it's power-base." said passionately the woman who looked Welsh to Harm.

' What? Anti-imperialist? Are they serious? BRITS of all people plotting an anti-imperialist movement? Brits who had the most powerful and longest lasting empire of this millenia? Talk about irony... Or pathologic confusion.'

The tallest man of the group nodded "Agreed. Francis?"

"Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man..." the intense man with short, dark hair was warming up to the topic fast.

"Or woman." a long haired male on the other side of the leader put in.

"Or woman... to rid himself..."

"Or herself."

Harm furrowed his brow. Revolutionaries being politically correct? What is this world coming to?!

"Or herself."

"Agreed."

"Thank you, brother."

"Or sister."

"Or sister." the man called Francis stopped suddenly and looked up at the sky with a thoughtful frown "Where was I?"

Harm shook his head, having anticipated the light-haired guy completely derailing the monologue with his constant interruptions.

There was a quiet before the tall guy identified as Reg clarified "I think you'd finished."

Perhaps he should've called the police and reported this lot, but they were quite obviously harmless. Either they had a day of leave from their mental institution or they were politicians, with these two categories not being mutually exclusive. Instead of feeling the need to report them Harm was seriously regretting not having his camcorder with him, because such a recording would definitely make him laugh even years later.

Francis looked thoughtfully up at the sky, then remarked "Oh. Right."

Harm stiffled a snort.

Reg, obviously the leader of this rag-tag group, took up the narrative of articles "Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man..."

"Or woman."

Now the leader had obviously had enough of the interruptions when he demanded of the blond man "Why don't you shut up about women, Stan! You're putting us off."

"Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg." explained Stan, somewhat standoffishly.

"Why are you always on about women, Stan?" was Francis' curious question who'd decided to get involved.

Harm took a swallow from his water bottle when Stan looked down at his feet and bashfully answered"I want to be one."

There was a silence as all looked at him, dumbfounded. Harm could literally hear their jaws dropping, as his own followed, after having almost choked on his water.

Well, that was unexpected.

"What?" demanded Reg.

Yeah, that summed up Harm's thoughts exactly.

"I want to be a woman." repeated Stan, continuing with a stubborn set to his chin "From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'."

"What?!" Reg was by now yelling and beginning to get red in the face.

"It's my right as a man." defended Stan.

Harm couldn't help but snort at the contradictional statement.

"Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?" Judith asked with a soothing, but very confused tone. Harm couldn't help but wonder the same, quite satisfied with his own situation.

"I want to have babies."

Obviously Stan didn't feel that way himself, though.

Another silence as the two other men looked at him, even more baffled, while Judith looked away, a hand to her mouth.

"You want to have babies?!" Reg's voice steadily increased in an incredulous pitch.

Stan's reaction was passive aggressive. Why, oh why, was this kind of behaviour and reaction so familiar to Harm... "It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them."

This time Harm did laugh, though quietly. With argumentation like this, the guy would never be able to win any discussion or debate. Thank god he wasn't a Public Defender because not one of his clients would've been found innocent.

"But... you can't have babies." Reg's voice had risen quite noticeably, inspiring respect in Harm. And concern for the man's blood pressure.

"Don't you oppress me." Stan attacked.

"I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb!" explained Reg rationally, conciliatory, and Harm wondered how high a pitch his voice could reach. Reg could modulate his voice very well, but then his tone lowered back to his bass when he continued sarcastically, trying to make his point "Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!"

Harm couldn't help but laugh at the last question, but even with the ridiculousness of the conversation he had to admit the leader was the most sane and clear-headed of the group. Reg's arguments were definitely excellent.

Stan started crying, causing Reg to look at him as if he'd lost his mind, then cover his face with his hand, completely exasperated, as the other two looked on helplessly.

Judith opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, not knowing what to say to it all, when she found a solution and jumped in, trying to be the mediator "Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even theirs, but that he can have the **right **to have babies."

Francis immediately grabbed on to the idea like life-preserver "Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother." he announced grandously, then realized his error "Sister. Sorry."

Reg was obviously by now thinking everyone had gone mad, something Harm was suspecting too "What's the point?"

The high pitch was making another comeback.

Francis looked at Reg blankly "What?"

Reg repeated his question, his face now so red and voice so high Harm was afraid the other man was about to have a stroke "What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!"

"It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression." Francis tried to explain.

Reg looked at the still crying Stan, then looked back at Francis, before turning his head away from them all, muttering loud enough for everyone to hear "It's symbolic of his struggle against reality."

Harm chuckled at Reg's assesment, his concentration too on the amusing quad to notice his love until she sat down next to him with an exhausted huff. She, however, had not missed Harm's enjoyment "What's going on?"

Harm startled at her words and looked at her, noticing how tired she was from the heat and from carrying that huge-beach-ball-instead-of-a-belly around. Giving her a hello kiss he answered "I'll tell you on the way home. Are you ready to go or do you want to rest for a bit first?"

"No, I'd like to go now, this heat's killin' me." she couldn't help but wonder "Why couldn't I get pregnant in Fall or end of summer? At least that way I wouldn't have to go through the hottest days of the year carrying all this fat."

Harm chose not to comment, having already given in to the fact that, no matter how much he tried to convince her of the contrary, Loren would still insist she was fat. True, there was no sign she had ever had a waistline, but that was all baby's doing and, aside from her enlarged breasts, Loren didn't have a speck of unnecessary fat on her body, thanks to her rigorous self-control regarding eating habits and exercise. Still, he would have to keep an eye on her, after she gave birth, so that she wouldn't exaggerate in losing weight and develop anorexia.

Even though he sometimes rued he'd never seen her naked before she'd gotten pregnant in Harm's eyes she was still the most beautiful woman ever to have walked the Earth. Trying to make her believe that, however, was a mission impossible, even though he tried to prove that to her every day. One of the main reasons he couldn't wait for the baby to be born was because then Loren could go back to her previous figure, start wearing her old clothes again.

He loved her more than he'd ever loved a woman, loved her beyond hope, but he simply couldn't listen to her whining much longer. The sooner she gave birth, the sooner she'd start working out again and the sooner she had her old figure back the better.

"Okay, we'll go in a minute, there's just one thing I gotta do." she looked at him puzzled, but said nothing as he got up and went over to the strange group a few benches over.

The four became instantly weary when they saw the tall man coming towards them, even though nothing in his body language made him look threatening.

Harm nodded to them and stopped by Stan "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear your discussion." he ignored their panic, then turned to the man before him "Especially your wish. You say you want to have babies. You don't, trust me. Rent the medical instructional video on child birth and you'll know what I mean. Besides, we, men, are far more involved in pregnancy and our children's lives than you think if this involvement is the cause for your wish. Even though there are disadvantages to being a man, maybe you should focus more on the positive sides."

Reg smiled at the unexpected ally and level-headed mediator, while Stan looked on suspiciously.

Harm nodded "Have a nice day." and turned around, going back to Loren.

Four sets of eyes followed him, widening when they saw him stop and help a heavily pregnant woman to her feet, who looked like the last stages of pregnancy, and that in summer, weren't really something to wish to go through. It dawned on them that this man really did know what he was talking about, more than they all put together.

He'd been born with the parts he had and, instead of having existential crisis' and wanting to be something else, Stan realized he should instead make peace with who what he was and make the best of it.

Meanwhile Harm was helping Loren into the car. Loren was observing him with a tender smile as Harm pulled the seatbelt over her front, careful for the belt to be above and under her full womb, and when he finished securing it she pulled him into a loving kiss.

As he kissed his wife Harm couldn't help the thought that he was definitely happy with what, who and where in his life he was.

**Reviews are love, give me lots of 'em!**


	99. Chapter 99

I assume this is what you've all been waiting for? *cheeky grin* If not, I can take it back.... :-)

Please leave a review if you want the next chapter. Believe me, it WILL be worth it.

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It was a lovely, early September day when Harm woke up to the sun on his face. Grunting, he sighed in pleasure at the warmth of the bed and the naked female pressed tightly against him.

Dropping a kiss on the crown of dark blonde hair he could feel Loren begin to stir.

Moaning in contentment she rubbed her face into his chest, before allowing a hand to wander southward.

Harm hissed in bliss when she found him, ready and willing, causing his wife to look up with wicked grin, before dedicating herself to teasing him.

"Oh, look at the birdie." she sing-songed, but because she was occupied with raising the sheet she never saw the statled look cross his face.

But all thought left him for a while as his wife's hot mouth engulfed him.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

It was after the nice, lazy, morning lovemaking session, in fact it was 3 hours later that found Harm and Loren in the Admiral's office, discussing Loren's upcoming maternity leave and Harm's paternity leave.

"Sir," Loren started and took a breath, looking at Harm for support. He nodded at her and gently squeezed her hand out of the Admiral's line of sight "I'd also like to inform you of our decision for me to reserve my commission for the first 7 months after the baby's born."

That made the Admiral pause and he looked up at her over his reading glasses. The was a silence for a while as he tried to find something to say. He was surprised, to say the least, he'd known Harm was a strong influence on her, but he hadn't had any idea she'd changed so much... to willingly put aside her career for the sake of her family. It was something Loren Singer of just a few months ago wouldn't have entertained even for a second and he was finding it hard to reconcile that Loren with the one now sitting before him. Life does change and if there is anything that makes you change the most is having children.

"You sure?" he had to check.

Loren took a breath, but, to her credit, she didn't even blink nor was there even a hint of hesitation or indecision when she replied "Yes, I'm sure, sir."

The only thing left to do was nod "Okay, I'll push it through."

They were just finishing up when suddenly, from the corner of his eyes, Harm saw Loren suddenly stiffen in her seat. Breaking protocol he turned to her, anxious "Loren?"

When her body relaxed again Loren turned wide eyes at her husband "Oh..."

Fear in his eyes he took her hands in his larger ones "Loren, honey, what's wrong?"

"Harm..." she whispered "My water just broke."

Harm's eyes widened while the Admiral cursed "Shit!"

Grabbing the phone Chegwidden barked "Don't you dare give birth in this office, you hear me, LT! If you do, I will have you courts-martialled."

Then, hearing the line connect, he yelled down the phone with his most intimidating voice "Admiral Chegwidden here. I need an ambulance, ASAP, at the JAG HQ, JAG's office, I've got an officer here who is about to give birth!" lowering his voice into a growl he threatened. "And if you get here too late and she gives birth in my office I'll charge you with everything I can, send you to Leavenworth and melt the key. Got that!?"

Satisfied, he slammed the phone back down and turned to Loren, tended to by her husband.

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Knowing his friends had business nearby that day Harm called Jack and Beth to come pick him up, not trusting himself to drive, but visceral knowledge he'd need his car very soon kept him from going in the ambulance with Loren.

The ambulance had just pulled out of the parking lot when Keeter and Skates pulled in, in her Stratus. Mutely Harm threw Jack the keys to his Lexus, while Beth followed in her own car.

Arriving at Bethesda it didn't take them long to find the correct room, confirmed by the shouting that greeted them when they opened the door.

"HAAAAAARRRRRMMMMMMM!!!!!!! Where are you?! I will KILL you, you bastard!!! I will tear off your tiny little thing and I'll feed it to a dog! I will..."

The look on Loren's face made it clear she meant everything she was saying and more, making them both stop in their tracks.

"On the other hand, maybe waiting outside in the waiting room wouldn't be such a bad idea." Harm decided, doing a 180 and heading for the waiting room.

"Yeah, good idea, man." Keeter agreed, wincing at more threats echoing clearly through the delivery room wall.

Turning around as one man they made their escape, only to run into another small woman, nearly mowing her down in their haste.

"Wimps!" Skates spat at them, then pushed past, marching through into the room.

Harm turned to stop her, but Jack shook his head "It's her funeral."

"But..." Harm protested, confused at Jack's blase attitude over his girlfriend's fate.

"Trust me."

Sighing, Harm gave in and resumed his trip to the waiting room, where Jack was already pulling out a pack of cards.

Not even 5 seconds had gone by when Skates showed up too, pale and visibly shaking. Raising a trembling head to her forehead she muttered "Your wife is terrifying, Harm."

Harm grunted and turned back to his cards.

Sighing in defeat, Beth took a seat next to them and requested "Deal me in, will you?"

But Harm surprised her, shaking his hand "I'm not playing with you, Skates."

"Why not?" asked a confused and a little hurt RIO.

"Because you cheat..." Harm replied with the duh-obvious tone of voice.

"Hey!" she protested in righteous indignation and looked to Jack to stand up for her.

"He's telling the truth." Jack took Harm's side "You cheat."

Skates argued, skin flushed, eyes blazing, nostrils flaring, chest heaving, and Keeter had to avert his eyes, lest he grabbed her, ripped her clothes off and took her right there and then, screw their decision to go slow, so hot he found her "I do not! I'm just being... creative."

"Yeah, right." snorted Harm, then continued cheekily "Save it for the judge."

Turning from the sulking RIO to his old friend, Harm proposed, noticing with interest how Keeter was looking anywhere but at his girlfriend "What do you say we go outside and catch a few rays instead?"

"Sounds good." Jack nodded, eager to escape.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." grumbled Skates, still glaring at her boyfriend who didn't look phased by it. Which just made her glare more and decide to tag along, not wanting to stay in the waiting room by herself.

As they made their way down the corridor to enjoy the pleasant September weather Harm turned to his companions "We were never here, got it?"

"There was a traffic jam." agreed Jack readily.

"A pile-up. 15 cars involved, at least." Harm improvised quickly "Took us hours before we could get through."

The two men turned to the only female of the group, who attempted to scorch them with her eyes, in vain trying to hold on to her ire as she had never been able to stay mad for long at either of them. Under the combined staredown of the two most important men in her life Skates didn't stand a chance.

"And then we had a flat and no spare." she finally supplied grumpily, prompting both guys to grin and clap her shoulders happily. Together the three friends made their way out into the sun, Jack already pulling out cigars and Harm accepting them gratefully.

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It was a few hours later that Harm stood in the nursery, holding the newest member of the Rabb family in his large arms. He still couldn't get over how small the baby was or even the fact that it'd still been inside Loren such a short while ago. Okay, so he'd seen the sonograms and had felt Loren's belly move, but he hadn't seen the baby for real. Now, holding it in his arms, it overwhelmed him that this small speck of life had come OUT of his wife.

Looking down into the signature Rabb aquamarine orbs staring blearily up at him Harm had his theory confirmed. What Loren had said earlier that morning had awakened a long-forgotten-memory, but now he had his confirmation. He'd wait until Loren was strong enough to deal with the repercussions. Scratch that, he'd wait until Loren was through the post-partum depression before sharing that big, yet ultimately unimportant, info with her.

Something else caught his eye then.

Okay, so Harm was no expert on babies, little AJ being the only one he had ever seen more than once or even up close, and to him they all had the same faces.

But he could've sworn...

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"It's a boy." Harm's voice was flat as he stared into the distance, still trying to take in the information himself.

His friends had been sitting in the waiting room, waiting for him, after they had left Loren to rest for a while.

"Okaaaay?" Jack and Skates confused gazes met and then looked back at Harm "How is that a problem? I thought you'd be happy to have a son."

Harm nodded jerkily, still stunned "I am. But the thing is, we were told it would be a girl. We bought girl stuff only. The nursery is pink and all the baby clothes are for girls."

Then looking down at the ground Harm shook his head bewilderly "How could the doctor oversee that particular part? He's a Rabb after all..."

Skates snorted, then her eyes met her boyfriend's before they looked away, hard-pressed not to start laughing.

Knowing his duty as a friend, Keeter stepped up to the shocked lawyer and laid a supporting hand on his shoulder.

"Well, pal, I guess you and I will have plenty to do before you bring them back home from the hospital. That is, unless you want to have a really, really messed-up son." Jack grinned cheekily.

Harm, still in shock, suddenly had a picture of one of those emos in his mind, but an exponential emo, having grown up in a pink room, surrounded by girly stuff and having had to wear girl clothes for the first few months of his life. That picture made Harm shudder violently in horror and his head snapped up, before he grabbed Keeter by the elbow and started dragging him down the corridor to the lift.

Over his shoulder he called out to Skates "Tell Loren I'll be back tomorrow and then come after us. I'll need someone to go the baby store to exchange all the girl stuff for boy stuff while me and Jack take care of the room."

Dumbfounded Skates only remembered to protest when it was already too late. Looking apprehensively in the direction of Mrs Rabb's room, remembering the demon-like expression on the blonde woman's face when she'd been having contractions, Skates thought better of it. Looking around for a nurse she exhaled in relief when she located one and, asking the matronly woman to relay the message and thanking her, she hurried after the two pilots.

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**Reviews are love.**


	100. Chapter 100

For reasons about to be revealed this is going to be one long Author's Note. You're still advised to read it, it will explain much.

First off, I deliberated for a long, long time whether to do this, as it's pretty cliche and corny, but I hope you'll still like it. You'll know what I mean when you get to it :-)

I'm sorry some of you didn't appreciate or "get" the previous chapter, because as with many other parts of this fic I was aiming at making it lighthearted and funny instead of serious; but I stand by it and will NOT rewrite it. If you don't like it, then that's your problem, it's staying the way it is. I'm writing my fics the way _**I**___want them to be written, not anyone else. I know this is harsh, but it's like it is.

Ignoring that, it's been great having you all along for the ride, but every ride must end someday and for this ride that day has come.

Yes, this is this fic's last chapter. One Normal Evening is over and done with. I'm finally putting the COMPLETE on this monster.

You're probably asking yourselves why I'm doing this now, that it's kind of sudden, and why I'm doing it at all... The reasons are simple.

The answer to why doing it now and that it's sudden, is that it's not sudden at all. I've decided long ago to end it with an epilogue after Loren gave birth. Another plus is that 100 chapters is a good, round number.

Why am I doing it at all? Simple... it has to end at some point and I feel this is the best point available. Sure, there are decades of their lives left, but where would I end this fic if not here, now? 1 month down the road? 3 years? Their time or our time? How many more years would this fic continued to be posted before it was finished IF it was ever finished?

I can't believe it actually took exactly-to-the-day 2 years and 7 months (100 chapters and over 150,000 words - a LOT more than planned when I first posted it) for this fic to be uploaded in it's entirety. A lot has happened during this time in my life, both good and bad, and I'd like to thank you all who dropped a line, especially to my regular reviewers.

But my deepest gratitude goes to **Lynn**, who's been steadily and unwaveringly there for me from the very beginning of my time as a JAG fanfic writer, from my very first JAG fic, years before I found fanfic. net.

You can all believe me when I say that if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be reading this fic, nor any of the others I posted over the last 4 years here. Simply because they wouldn't have been written. It's **Lynn **who's kept my spirits up and kept me from giving up even through the most vicious attacks of rabid MacFans/HarmHaters on Voy and HBX (even though it's called a Harmy board it's actually a haven for Mac lovers) boards and then on this site, when they even added death threats into the mix of personal attacks and insults. Liking it or not, they had to in the end face the fact that I, pro-Harm notHarmMac fanfiction are here to stay, in huge part thanks to Lynn.

I know I'll never be able to properly thank you, my dear friend, for all you've done for me and simple words will never properly convey my gratitude, but still: Thank you.

I'm finishing this fic with the words of one of the greatest statesmen ever to have lived (even though I don't agree with many of his tactics, plans, wishes, decisions and ways of doing things through his decades in power there is no doubt the world would've been much different had it not had him in that spot during that crucial time), that I think are very, very spot on here.

And PLEASE, PLEASE don't do what you usually do for the last chapters of fics (namely reading it and then promptly closing the window without leaving feeback), instead leave a few words of acknowledgement that, yes, you did read the last chapter of One Normal Evening. It will mean a lot to me and it's the only payment I will ever get for literally thousands of hours of work on it.

With that I say au revoir and see you in the next fic.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

RABB RESIDENCE

1654 LOCAL

PRESENT TIME

SEPTEMBER 2005

NEAR LONDON, UK

Standing in front of a window Loren is looking into the world outside, so bright and sunny.

Her husband is hugging her from behind, his chest against her back and his hands on her flat belly, where they are locked with hers, their fingers entwined.

Outside, in the fenced-in frontyard of their english home, their 2 year-old son is playing with his Golden Retriever puppy under the care of his godparents.

Even though Jack's pretty obviously awkward with such a small child, having not much experience even with his status as a godfather due to the fact he lives on another continent, there's no doubt he's quickly getting the hang of it, unaware of his new wife's speculating glances. Despite having been married for only 6 short months Beth's already sure this is in their future too, she just doesn't know yet when. But the second Jack shows the desire to expand their unit she'll be ready and willing.

Inside the house, under Harm's and Loren's joined hands a baby is slowly growing, only 2 months old and already raising hell, turning it's mother's mornings into frantic runs to the bathroom, but neither Loren nor Harm would have it any other way.

Their son has certainly been a surprise, following the Rabb tradition by being an almost complete copy of his father.

Even the eyes.

ESPECIALLY the eyes.

The aquamarine Harmon Rabb eyes...

Because of Harm and Loren both needing to know for sure they had a discrete paternity test done, confirming Harm's theory that, yes, HE was the father of the baby and not his brother Sergei.

Until Harm revealed the truth of their child's paternity he and Loren hadn't talked much about the timeframe and circumstances of Loren's conception. After all, what man would want to know or even talk about his woman's sexual life before him, especially when it had to deal with his brother?

By using cases as reference points (something that made it perfectly clear just how pathetic their lives were before the encounter in the bar that turned their lives around) he pin-pointed the exact night Loren got pregnant.

From what little information about that night he had by then acquired (and even wanted) from Loren he managed to piece together the following scenario.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

It was the night Harm got home from a long, tiring investigation, made even harder by Mac's barbs and behaviour (though she'd gotten a LOT better ever since Harm had stopped being available and Mac had realized he and Loren were meant to stay together), to find Sergei and Loren passed out still fully clothed on the couch in his apartment, two bottles of wine empty on the coffee table in front of them. He let them be, too exhausted to do anything but quickly shower and collapse into his bed.

The sound of the toilet flushing a couple of hours later barely registered with him. Loren, the one who had to pee, was still too under the influence and too sleepy to remember she's been sleeping on the couch and not in the bed. As alcohol tends to it awakened Loren's sexual drive while eliminating her inhibitions and in that moment of lust she thought the man she got in bed with, grabbed on and started fondling was the same man she frequently spent time with during the last couple of months.

Loren's manipulations were what woke up Harm and the last thing he heard before his world turned into bliss were the drunken "Look at the birdie".

Soon he was wide awake and eagerly participating, but jet lag and the belief that there was no way this was real, that a woman was really there, riding him with the abandon of the knowledge that the world was about to end, that he was even having sex; contributed to the decision that it was all just a wet dream, nothing more.

A strange dream considering who he was dreaming of, sure, but a dream nonetheless. After all, there was no chance in hell the haughty, unapproachable LT Loren Singer would ever be making love to him of her own accord.

Waking up a few hours later for his run before work Harm was too preoccupied with getting ready to even notice the small lump on the other side of his huge bed. Finding Sergei still sleeping on the couch, this time alone, Harm assumed Loren had already woken up and left. Waking the younger man up he told Sergei he could take his bed, an offer Sergei eagerly took. While Harm was still out Loren woke up naked in bed with Sergei, took things at face value, panicked, got quickly dressed and escaped from the apartment, sure she and Sergei have had sex.

A few days later she had a talk with Sergei, the young man unsure what Loren was talking about with how much she was beating around the bush. He nonetheless agreed with her that friends was all they'd ever be. Soon after he had to leave the country because there was no way to confirm his paternity, thus taking himself permanently out of the picture and making Loren breathe easier, no matter how guilty she felt for it.

When she later found out she was pregnant there was only one candidate for the father in her mind, unaware of how far from the truth she was.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

When Harm finally told Loren of his findings, weeks after their son's birth, the long wait time had not gone down well with Loren who was still pissed for him not being there so she could break his hand in the middle of contractions. At least HIS scar was usually covered by clothes... and whenever Loren saw it again she was consumed with guilt, something he occasionally took advantage of. Many times to the benefit of both.

After Trish dug out Harm's old baby photos the similarity between Harm and his son was put in black and white.

With that kind of proof the only thing left to do was to get that final reassurance. The paternity test allowed no doubt and it took a while for Harm and Loren to come to grips with the fact that Harm actually _was _the baby's biological father and that the birth certificate wasn't lying.

Harm and Loren have been sure they'd be getting a daughter, so they hadn't even thought of boys' names. Yet, while Loren was still sleeping Harm had a breakthrough and quickly arranged for a birth certificate to be issued and so Baby Rabb became Burke Rabb. A testatement to how well he knew her Loren liked the name. Navy was, after all, in their veins and what better name than that of a famous Admiral?

Funny, how the last 2 years have gone so differently from what Loren had set for herself so long ago.

Married, a mother of one and with another on the way was not how she imagined, or even wanted, her life 3 years ago, with Harm being the last man she envisioned this wedded bliss with.

Not because she thought him the last man to want something like this, nor because she ever believed he would be a bad father or husband, but because she never believed he would ever consider _her _worthy of his attention and affections, much less consider her worthy of being his wife and the mother of his children.

But fate is a fickle thing and constantly keeps changing the rules of the game, managing to land them together in the end.

It is an arrangement Loren has no complaint over, much less wishes it had never happened.

6 months ago they stopped using protection and just a few weeks back they found out that Loren is pregnant again. They're ecstatic over the news, still walking on clouds.

Harm can't seem to stop touching her belly, now with the security of the knowledge that she loves him he's gotten even more tactile and openly affectionate than the first time, something that drives Loren nuts. In frustration, because she loves him so much and because his touch never fails to awaken her lust.

This is one of the moments Loren treasures, because she receives abundant confirmation that there really is paradise and heaven and they are actually both on Earth, not somewhere beyond, for they are in the arms of this man.

She's drowning in it when she hears the words whispered into her ear "Have I ever told you that I love you?"

She smiles softly, she's heard these three words thousands of times over the last few years from this very man, but she'll never tire hearing them from him.

Playing along she teases "No, you haven't."

The chuckle that rumbles through his chest warms her, making her shiver in pleasure at the same time.

"I love you."

She smiles tenderly again and lightly caresses his hands.

"Love you too."

"Always." they echo.

Loren knows, and she knows he knows, these are not empty words.

They will love each other....

Always.

_**Now this is not the end, nor is it even the beginning of the end, but it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.**_

_Dedicated to my dear, long-time friend, Lynn._

**FINIS**


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